Poop Quotes

Quotes tagged as "poop" (showing 1-19 of 19)
Oprah Winfrey
“Everybody looks at their poop.”
Oprah Winfrey
tags: poop

Oliver Gaspirtz
“Dogs are angels full of poop.”
Oliver Gaspirtz, Pet Humor!

“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette”
Josh Stern, And That's Why I'm Single: What Good Is Having A Lucky Horseshoe Up Your Butt When The Horse Is Still Attached?

“I was still a newlywed and certainly wasn't to the point where I felt comfortable yelling, "I'm going to shit my pants any second!"
But the sweating had started, which was followed by the tears. "I'm not feeling well, and need to get home," I told him.
"Ok, but I have to obey the speed limit because of all the kids in the neighborhood," he replied.
I was pleading with him to hurry up when he came to a complete stop.
I screamed at him, "Why are we stopping?"
He rolled down the window. "Retreat."
I could see the flag lowering in the distance, the beautiful orange sun setting behind it.
In the opposite direction I could see the roof line of our home - so close, yet so far away.
As Retreat played, I surrendered. I pooped my pants. I took one for the flag.
Now that's patriotism.”
Mollie Gross, Confessions of a Military Wife

Anne Frank
“You are all made of real poop.”
Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank: And Related Readings

“This was a true pants-pooping moment.”
Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is provided by every family member living in the house until they die.”
Heather Chapple, Write like no one is reading

Jennifer L. Armentrout
“Jayden went for my fries, ignoring Anna’s narrowed gaze. “Thanks, babe.”
“You two know each other?” Jo gestured between Jayden and me with her fork.
Before I could nod, he dropped an arm over my shoulders. “She’s my bae.”
I grinned.
“Bae?” Keira sighed. “I hate that word. Do you know what it really means?”
“Poop,” I answered without thinking. “In Danish.”
My eyes widened. Holy crap. I’d spoken without hesitation at lunch! Holy crap! No one recognized my internal freak-out over it, but I couldn’t believe it. I sat there and spoke with no problem.
I needed to give myself a cookie.
Anna giggled. “Oh, man. I know. I know. Still think it’s a cute word.”
Across from her, Keira rolled her eyes. “It literally means shit.”
“Mallory is the shit, though.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever

Felicia Day
“If you eat enough Cheetos you will NOT actually poop an extra large Cheeto.”
Felicia Day, You're Never Weird on the Internet

Robyn Peterman
“We need to pull over now," she screeched as she gagged. "Paper is not supposed to be made out of poop.”

"Did it taste like poop?" Hank inquired as he quickly pulled into a rest stop filled with church buses.

"Since I don't eat poop," Dima snapped, "I wouldn't know."

"But you do eat people?"

"I do not eat people," she yelled.

"But your people eat people?" I prodded nicely.

"Occasionally," she hissed. "And your people sniff each other's asses when in animal form..."

She had a point - and a foul one at that.”
Robyn Peterman, Some Were In Time

“Life is nothin but poop, so eat lots of beans.... And prunes”
Cray jones

“Sticking a straw up your butt won't get rid of the constipation.”
Jess H

“La cagas o no es tuya.”
Esteban Urayoán

Robyn Peterman
“We need to pull over now," she screeched as she gagged. "Paper is not supposed to be made out of poop.”
Robyn Peterman, Some Were In Time
tags: humor, poop

kevin mcpherson eckhoff
“Life is my greatest enemy.”
kevin mcpherson eckhoff, Easy Peasy

Jane Wilson-Howarth
“A small, light object landed on my head. I looked around. Another small something hit me. I looked up. After a third thing hit me, I untangled a couple of deer droppings from my hair. It was spotted deer poop. I must be one of the only kids on the planet to recognise the sultana-like pellets of hares and deer and the boulders left by elephant and rhino. I heard a cackle behind me and turned to receive a handful of deer pellets full in the face.”
Jane Wilson-Howarth, Himalayan Kidnap: The First Alex and James Eco-Aventure in Nepal

“People die and starve every day, but look on the bright side. Lower population.”
Stephen David McGoughan-Matthews

C.S. Lewis
“And the feasts on the poop and the musicians.”
C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

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