Shit Quotes

Quotes tagged as "shit" Showing 1-30 of 160
Johnny Depp
“Just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you.”
Johnny Depp

Colleen Hoover
“Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people.”
Colleen Hoover, Slammed

Mel Brooks
“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”
Mel Brooks

David Sedaris
“Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...”
David Sedaris

Anthony Liccione
“There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
Anthony Liccione

Lauren Oliver
“I wonder idly how long i can go without sleep before I flip my shit and start running down the street in my underwear, hallicinating purple spiders.”
Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall
tags: flip, my, shit

Gilles Deleuze
“Shit on your whole mortifying, imaginary, and symbolic theater!”
Gilles Deleuze, Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia

Louis C.K.
“It's hard to really look at somebody and go: "Hey, maybe something nice will happen." You just don't-- I know too much about life to have any optimism, because I know even if it's nice, it's going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you've just decided that something shitty is going to happen.”
Louis C. K.
tags: shit

Bill Bryson
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.”
Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

Stephen King
“oh shit it's shit”
Stephen King, Different Seasons

Nadia Bolz-Weber
“God's grace is not defined as God being forgiving to us even though we sin. Grace is when God is a source of wholeness, which makes up for my failings. My failings hurt me and others and even the planet, and God's grace to me is that my brokenness is not the final word ... it's that God makes beautiful things out of even my own shit. Grace isn't about God creating humans and flawed beings and then acting all hurt when we inevitably fail and then stepping in like the hero to grant us grace - like saying, "Oh, it's OK, I'll be the good guy and forgive you." It's God saying, "I love the world too much to let your sin define you and be the final word. I am a God who makes all things new.”
Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint

Haruki Murakami
“It's easy to talk big, but the important thing is whether or not you clean up the shit.”
Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Maggie Stiefvater
“You and I both know that love is for children,'' he said. ''We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.''

''Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,'' Teresa replied. ''Only they get along just fine, and my car never makes my bluetooth feel like shit.”
Maggie Stiefvater, Sinner

Milan Kundera
“Spontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God's image. Either/or: either man was created in God's image - and has intestines! - or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.

The ancient Gnostics felt as I did at the age of five. In the second century, the Great Gnostic master Valentinus resolved the damnable dilemma by claiming that Jesus "ate and drank, but did not defecate."

Shit is a more onerous theological problem than is evil. Since God gave man freedom, we can, if need be, accept the idea that He is not responsible for man's crimes. The responsibility for shit, however, rests entirely with Him, the creator of man.”
Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Alison Goodman
“You have less honour than a piece of shit.”
Alison Goodman

Madeleine Urban
“This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit."

-Ty Henderson”
Madeleine Urban

“If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit”
Doug Stanhope

Jim Lawrence
“One of the few times in a man's life when he is not full of shit!!

The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said!”
Jim Lawrence

“Things are called shit for a reason, dear.”
Chloe Jun

Andrzej Sapkowski
“Popatrz jeno. Kościół, karczma, bordel, a w środku między nimi kupa gówna. Oto parabola ludzkiego żywota.”
Andrzej Sapkowski, Narrenturm

Stephen King
“It wasn't fair, but what is? Life is a crap carnival with shit prizes.”
Stephen King, Mr. Mercedes

“hoo-leee shite!”
Joseph Staten, Halo: Contact Harvest
tags: holy, shit, war

Angelica Hopes
“Don't step on shits, don't be part of shits, don't shit on others as you escape from other bullshits." ~ Angelica Hopes, an excerpt from If I Could Tell You”
Angelica Hopes

“Shit happens. Doesn't mean you have to step in it. But if you do I would buy a new pair of shoes.”
Kilburn Hall
tags: shit, shoes

M.F. Moonzajer
“I wonder either their God has turned old, sick or died, because even the religious people no more believe in shit.”
M.F. Moonzajer

“A young English couple was visiting with me one summer after I had been composting humanure for about six years. One evening, as dinner was being prepared, the couple suddenly understood the horrible reality of their situation: the food they were about to eat was recycled human shit. When this fact abruptly dawned upon them, it seemed to set off an instinctive alarm, possibly inherited directly from Queen Victoria. "We don't want to eat shit!" they informed me, rather distressed (that's an exact quote), as if in preparing dinner I had simply set a steaming turd on a plate in front of them with a knife, fork and napkin.”
Joseph C. Jenkins, The Humanure Handbook: A Guide to Composting Human Manure

Erica Bauermeister
“It was filled with a dark paste, rather than liquid. I unscrewed the cap. The smell rolled toward me, and I reared back. I could almost hear growling, the pop of a bone socket.
"Civet," Claudia said, unfazed. "It takes a strong stomach to smell an animalic base note straight, don't you think? But a drop or two, down there in the bottom of a perfume? It sends that other message. Death and sex- that's what perfume's all about. You'll understand when you're older."
I stared back at her. I knew about death. I knew about sex. I didn't need her to tell me.
She held out another bottle, her expression bland. "Jasmine."
I was cautious this time, barely sniffing the contents, but the smell was a relief- sweet, white, and creamy, almost euphoric. I felt as if I were floating in it.
Just as I was about to put the bottle down, though, I caught a whiff of something else in the background, something narcotic and sticky. I inhaled more deeply, trying to pin it down.
"You like it," Claudia said. For the first time, she seemed pleased with me. "Do you know what that is, that note you're searching for?"
I shook my head. It was right there, but in that cool, blank room, I couldn't quite name it.
"It's shit," Claudia said. She smiled, slow and lazy. "Technically, the molecule's called indole, but a rose by any other name...”
Erica Bauermeister, The Scent Keeper

Daša Drndić
“We react squeamishly to shit, don’t we? But if we look into the matter you’ll see that it’s the most valuable substance on earth, all life comes from shit and returns to shit.”
Daša Drndić, Belladonna

Brian Spellman
“I'm not full of shit! Don't put turds in my mouth.”
Brian Spellman, Psych Ward Cyrano

“Don't let anyone’s shit into your life”
Jordan Hoechlin

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