Ass Quotes

Quotes tagged as "ass" (showing 1-30 of 68)
John Kennedy Toole
“Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?”
John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

Anthony Liccione
“There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
Anthony Liccione

C.S. Lewis
“It is not your business to succeed, but to do right. When you have done so the rest lies with god.”
C.S. Lewis
tags: ass, kick

William Shakespeare
“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”
William Shakespeare, The Complete Works

Sean Gibson
“The day I can't pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass.”
Sean Gibson

Patrick Rothfuss
“Then the high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing. Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the boy’s ass fell off.”
Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

“Art can blow us out of our pigeon hole. In deafness it may shout or scream, in blindness it may arrest our attention, in numbness it may shake up our mind. If we don’t sense anything at all and take everything for granted, art can kick us in the ass, give a conscience and make us aware. ("When is Art?")”
Erik Pevernagie

Dave Matthes
“I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.”
Dave Matthes, Sleepeth Not, the Bastard

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
tags: airhead, aphorism, aphorisms, aphorist, aphorists, around-the-bend, ass, bad, bad-people, bad-person, bananas, batty, birdbrain, blockhead, bonkers, boob, bozo, brainless, buggy, bushed, certifiable, chowderhead, chowderheaded, chump, clod, coot, crack-brained, cracked, crackers, crackpot, crazed, crazy, cretin, cuckoo, daft, dead-loss, demented, deranged, dim, dimwit, dimwitted, dingbat, dipstick, disappointment, disturbed, ditz, dolt, donkey, dope, dork, dud, dullard, dumb, dumb-ass, dumb-cluck, dumbhead, dumbo, dumdum, dummy, dunce, dunderhead, fail, failure, fathead, flake, fool, foolhardy, foolish, funny, galoot, goat, goober, goof, goofball, goofus, goon, half-baked, halfwit, halfwitted, harebrained, hilarious, humor, humorous, humour, idiot, idiotic, ignoramus, ill-advised, ill-considered, imbecile, impolitic, imprudent, incautious, informal-no-hoper, injudicious, insane, insanity, jerk, joke, jokes, jughead, klutz, lamebrain, loco, loony, loopy, loser, lummox, mad, mad-as-a-hatter, meatball, mentally-disordered, mentally-ill, mindless, moron, nerd, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, non-compos-mentis, not-all-there, numbnuts, numbskull, nuts, of-unsound-mind, pea-brained, peabrain, psycho, psychotic, putz, quotations, quotes, rash, reckless, sap, satire, schizophrenic, schlemiel, schlep, schmuck, screwy, silly, simpleton, stark-raving-mad, stupid, thick, thickhead, thoughtless, turkey, twerp, twit, unbalanced, underachiever, unhinged, unintelligent, unstable, unwise, wacko, witless, wooden-headed, write-off, zombie

Mark Twain
“I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.”
Mark Twain

Charles Bukowski
“The ass is the face of the soul of sex.”
Charles Bukowski

Gilles Deleuze
“Judge Schreber has sunbeams in his ass. A solar anus. And rest assured that it works.”
Gilles Deleuze

Tao Lin
“i recommend the phrase 'pineapple ass”
Tao Lin

Diana Gabaldon
“Amphora,” he murmured against the wide, sweet curve of her lips. His hands slid over the wide, sweet curve of her hips, cupping smoothness cool and solid, timeless and graceful as the swell of ancient pottery, promising abundance. “Like a Grecian vase. God, you’ve got the most beautiful arse!”

“Jug-butt, huh?”
Diana Gabaldon, Drums of Autumn

Christina Engela
“What the hell was that?” he asked no-one in particular. “Did they ram us?”
“Uh – negative, sir.” Marnetti offered, reading an instrumental assessment from his display, “It seems we were hit by some kind of pulse wave generated by their jump.”
“Their jump? – You mean by arriving they nearly killed us?”
Marnetti nodded, continuing, “Range 0.5 kilometers, Captain. Holding steady. No recognized weapons activity.”
“Damage report.” He ordered, feeling his way back into his seat, eyes glued to the viewscreen.
“Shield 2 down, 1 is buckling.” Pluddeman choked.
“Power stable, all systems holding steady,” Marnetti added, now rubbing some bruises.
“Any communications?”
“Nothing, sir. Static on all frequencies.”
“What are they doing?”
“Nothing, sir. Waiting maybe.”
“Waiting, my ass!” Dayne barked. “They must be sizing us up!”
Christina Engela, Space Sucks!

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“The average woman feels small whenever a man who has just walked past her does not turn his head to check out her ass, especially if it is—or if she feels that it is—big.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Apuleius
“Where are you taking that ass?”
Apuleius, The Golden Ass
tags: ass

M.F. Moonzajer
“Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass.”
M.F. Moonzajer

Mark Leyner
“Yes, the hermitage is underground--miles beneath the surface of Antarctica. And yes, Ike refers to it as unten--literally 'under' or 'below.' But, hello, it's 'hyperborean'--of or relating to the arctic, frigid, very cold. The opposite of infernally hot. Well, what if it's WAY underground down near the inner core of the earth, where it's like 10,000 degrees? Well, what if it's up your ass where it's like 10,000,000 degrees? Well, what if you're a cocksucking dwarf racist retard midget dickwad? Well, what if you're a fucking scatological-bakery urinal-cake-boss motherfucking fist-fucked cow-pie anal-fissureman motherfucker?”
Mark Leyner, The Sugar Frosted Nutsack

Cornelius  Moore
“Edwyn can almost feel his testicles crawling up his ass.”
Cornelius Moore, The Club

Deyth Banger
“You said that you are smart, didn't you?

2112@1%, 2%1%2! 1(81%1@4 25 71@14 2)812) 2)85 6911(2) 1@52@51@ 2#11( 1(1% 511(2%

So try to solve this, if you solve it... You are one smart ass!”
Deyth Banger
tags: ass, it, smart, solve

Garth Ennis
“I'm the perfect girl. You read about me in Maxim or whatever. I tell dirty jokes like I'm one of the guys, and I'm sitting there in my panties and bra so you can see I'm a piece of ass in the bargain. Except I'm real, so I come with all kinds of complications.”
Garth Ennis, The Boys, Volume 9: The Big Ride

“My heart can see the ass in you.”
Sudheer Reddy
tags: ass, heart, love

Lev Shestov
“Objectionable, tedious, irritating labour, - this is the condition of genius, which no doubt explains the reason why men so rarely achieve anything. Genius must submit to cultivate an ass within itself - the condition being so humiliating that man will seldom take up the job.”
Lev Shestov, All Things are Possible

Raheel Farooq
“If you never wished you were an ass, you are most probably an ass.”
Raheel Farooq

Deyth Banger
“Everything is about disclosure.... chemistry... love.... reaction... you can't do anything....

...
A pain... a biatch... pain the ass... two women... what next?”
Deyth Banger

“A good curry should leave your taste buds smoldering; your arse on fire, and your plate empty.”
Anthony T. Hincks

Daniel José Older
“PANTS: DARK PURPLE WITH A gold stripe up either side. Pressed and creased sharply down the middle, of course. Subtly flared at the hems over shined and waxed narrow-tip dewback-skin boots, sloping inward and tight toward the top. Tight enough for a bulge and the insinuation of an ass.”
Daniel José Older, Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel
tags: ass, lando

James Joyce
“He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.”
James Joyce, Ulysses

Edmund White
“Charles used to say, “If God had meant boys to be fucked, he would have put a hole in their ass.”
Edmund White, The Unpunished Vice: A Life of Reading
tags: ass, fuck

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