Ass Quotes

Quotes tagged as "ass" Showing 1-30 of 73
John Kennedy Toole
“Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?”
John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

Anthony Liccione
“There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
Anthony Liccione

C.S. Lewis
“It is not your business to succeed, but to do right. When you have done so the rest lies with god.”
C.S. Lewis
tags: ass, kick

William Shakespeare
“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”
William Shakespeare, The Complete Works

Sean Gibson
“The day I can't pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass.”
Sean Gibson

Patrick Rothfuss
“Then the high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing. Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the boy’s ass fell off.”
Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

“Art can blow us out of our pigeon hole. In deafness it may shout or scream, in blindness it may arrest our attention, in numbness it may shake up our mind. If we don’t sense anything at all and take everything for granted, art can kick us in the ass, give a conscience and make us aware. ("When is Art?")”
Erik Pevernagie

Dave Matthes
“I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.”
Dave Matthes, Sleepeth Not, the Bastard

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
tags: airhead, aphorism, aphorisms, aphorist, aphorists, around-the-bend, ass, bad, bad-people, bad-person, bananas, batty, birdbrain, blockhead, bonkers, boob, bozo, brainless, buggy, bushed, certifiable, chowderhead, chowderheaded, chump, clod, coot, crack-brained, cracked, crackers, crackpot, crazed, crazy, cretin, cuckoo, daft, dead-loss, demented, deranged, dim, dimwit, dimwitted, dingbat, dipstick, disappointment, disturbed, ditz, dolt, donkey, dope, dork, dud, dullard, dumb, dumb-ass, dumb-cluck, dumbhead, dumbo, dumdum, dummy, dunce, dunderhead, fail, failure, fathead, flake, fool, foolhardy, foolish, funny, galoot, goat, goober, goof, goofball, goofus, goon, half-baked, halfwit, halfwitted, harebrained, hilarious, humor, humorous, humour, idiot, idiotic, ignoramus, ill-advised, ill-considered, imbecile, impolitic, imprudent, incautious, informal-no-hoper, injudicious, insane, insanity, jerk, joke, jokes, jughead, klutz, lamebrain, loco, loony, loopy, loser, lummox, mad, mad-as-a-hatter, meatball, mentally-disordered, mentally-ill, mindless, moron, nerd, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, non-compos-mentis, not-all-there, numbnuts, numbskull, nuts, of-unsound-mind, pea-brained, peabrain, psycho, psychotic, putz, quotations, quotes, rash, reckless, sap, satire, schizophrenic, schlemiel, schlep, schmuck, screwy, silly, simpleton, stark-raving-mad, stupid, thick, thickhead, thoughtless, turkey, twerp, twit, unbalanced, underachiever, unhinged, unintelligent, unstable, unwise, wacko, witless, wooden-headed, write-off, zombie

Charles Bukowski
“The ass is the face of the soul of sex.”
Charles Bukowski

Mark Twain
“I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.”
Mark Twain

Gilles Deleuze
“Judge Schreber has sunbeams in his ass. A solar anus. And rest assured that it works.”
Gilles Deleuze

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“The average woman feels small whenever a man who has just walked past her does not turn his head to check out her ass, especially if it is—or if she feels that it is—big.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

James Joyce
“He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.”
James Joyce, Ulysses

Tao Lin
“i recommend the phrase 'pineapple ass”
Tao Lin

Lev Shestov
“Objectionable, tedious, irritating labour, - this is the condition of genius, which no doubt explains the reason why men so rarely achieve anything. Genius must submit to cultivate an ass within itself - the condition being so humiliating that man will seldom take up the job.”
Lev Shestov, All Things are Possible

Apuleius
“Where are you taking that ass?”
Apuleius, The Golden Ass
tags: ass

Mark Leyner
“Yes, the hermitage is underground--miles beneath the surface of Antarctica. And yes, Ike refers to it as unten--literally 'under' or 'below.' But, hello, it's 'hyperborean'--of or relating to the arctic, frigid, very cold. The opposite of infernally hot. Well, what if it's WAY underground down near the inner core of the earth, where it's like 10,000 degrees? Well, what if it's up your ass where it's like 10,000,000 degrees? Well, what if you're a cocksucking dwarf racist retard midget dickwad? Well, what if you're a fucking scatological-bakery urinal-cake-boss motherfucking fist-fucked cow-pie anal-fissureman motherfucker?”
Mark Leyner, The Sugar Frosted Nutsack

Raheel Farooq
“If you never wished you were an ass, you are most probably an ass.”
Raheel Farooq

Cornelius  Moore
“Edwyn can almost feel his testicles crawling up his ass.”
Cornelius Moore, The Club

Daniel José Older
“PANTS: DARK PURPLE WITH A gold stripe up either side. Pressed and creased sharply down the middle, of course. Subtly flared at the hems over shined and waxed narrow-tip dewback-skin boots, sloping inward and tight toward the top. Tight enough for a bulge and the insinuation of an ass.”
Daniel José Older, Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel
tags: ass, lando

“My heart can see the ass in you.”
Sudheer Reddy
tags: ass, heart, love

Edmund White
“Charles used to say, “If God had meant boys to be fucked, he would have put a hole in their ass.”
Edmund White, The Unpunished Vice: A Life of Reading
tags: ass, fuck

Olawale Daniel
“You ain't born for this shit, get your ass together and make things happen for you.”
Olawale Daniel

Grab her ass because it's what every guy in the room wants to do. Grab
“Grab her ass because it's what every guy in the room wants to do. Grab her ass because nothing makes a woman feel better than the envy of other women.”
A.K. Kuykendall

Robert Graves
“At last, hopelessly surveying myself all over, I was obliged to face the mortifying fact that I had been transformed not into a bird, but into a plain jackass.”
Robert Graves, The Golden Ass

Thomas Pynchon
Is no revenge of the nerds, you know what, last year when everything collapsed, all it meant was the nerds lost out once again and the jocks won. Same as always ... Some of the quants are smart, but quants come, quants go, they're just nerds for hire with a different fashion sense. The jocks may not know a stochastic crossover if it bites them on the ass, but they have that drive to thrive, they're synced in to them deep market rhythms, and that'll always beat out nerditude no matter how smart it gets.”
Thomas Pynchon, Bleeding Edge

“Miss. Bare-Ass was wealthy as hell and probably old money if she managed to get into a building on Fifth near the MET.”
Jesse W Luke, The Abyss Gazes Back
tags: ass

Ehsan Sehgal
“An ass cannot value the fragrance of Safran. Similarly, a shameless cannot feel the waves of shame or insult.”
Ehsan Sehgal
tags: ass

“Words are enough for a good man but a good beating for an ass. Water is enough for a teetotaler but a strong drink for a drinker.”
VKBoy

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