Lol Quotes

Quotes tagged as "lol" (showing 1-30 of 345)
James Patterson
“Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.
Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.
Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.
"You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"
Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.
His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."
"Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"
"Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.
Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it."
...
"I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."
Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."
Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"
"Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"
...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."
"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.”
James Patterson

Maggie Stiefvater
“I guess I make things that need energy stronger. I'm like a walking battery."
"You're the table everyone wants at Starbucks," Gansey mused as he began to walk again.
Blue blinked. "What?"
Over his shoulder, Gansey said, "Next to the wall plug.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Maggie Stiefvater
“How do you feel about helicopters?"
There was a long pause. "How do you mean? Ethically?"
"As a mode of transportation."
"Faster than camels, but less sustainable.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Maggie Stiefvater
“He strode over to the ruined church. This, Blue had discovered, was how Gansey got places - striding. Walking was for ordinary people.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Rick Riordan
“Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?"
"Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it."
"Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.
Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!”
Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

Ellen DeGeneres
“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”
Ellen DeGeneres

Maggie Stiefvater
“Are you really going to work in that?" Maura asked.

Blue looked at her clothing. It involved a few thin layering shirts, including one she had altered using a method called shredding. "What's wrong with it?"
Maura shrugged. "Nothing. I always wanted an eccentric daughter. I just never realised how well my evil plans were working.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Suzanne Collins
“You know, you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person”
Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
tags: lol

Amie Kaufman
“Interviewer: So. Tell me about your mother.
Ezra: You're taping this, right?
Interviewer: Audio only. Camera is faulty.
Ezra: Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my… oh, dear… yes, it's my MIDDLE finger at Mr. Postgrad here.
Interviewer: Mr. Mason...
Ezra: Now I'm wiggling it.
Interviewer: Terminating interview at 13:58 on 03/19/75.
Ezra: Look at it wiggl-
-audio ends-”
Amie Kaufman, Illuminae

Rick Riordan
“Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”
“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”
“No!”
“Me neither,” Leo admitted.”
Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

Rachel Hawkins
“Archer! Let us fetch a spot of tea, old boy!”
Rachel Hawkins, Hex Hall
tags: lol

Maggie Stiefvater
“Saw him where?"
"While I was sitting outside with one of my half aunts."
This seemed to satisfy Ronan was well, because he asked, "What's the other half of her?"
"God, Ronan," Adam said. "Enough.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Tahereh Mafi
“I sigh. "I don't know what's happening to me."
"They're called hormones."

I shoot him a dirty look. "I'm serious."

"Me too." He cocks his head at me. "That's like, biological and shit. Scientific. Maybe your lady bits are scientifically confused."

"My lady bits?"

"Oh, I'm sorry" - Kenji pretends to look offended - "would you rather I use the proper anatomical terminology? Because you lady bits do not scare me-"
"Yeah, no thanks.”
Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

Maggie Stiefvater
“He's a pit bull," Adam said.
"I know some really nice pit bulls."
"He's the kind of pit that makes the evening news. Gansey's trying to restrain him."
"How noble.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Sara Wolf
“I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.”
Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

Sara Wolf
“Come! Come sit by me. It’s a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Yeah, and you’re ugly, but do I complain about it? No! Because I don’t complain about things that I can’t change. That’s called intelligence.”
Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

Jennifer L. Armentrout
“Are you two you know?" Jacob pointed at us. " Together? Together? "
I didn't get a chance to answer. Cam spun me around and kissed me, right there between the two buildings. It was no friendly peck on the lips. When our tongues touched, my bag slipped off my arm and hit the frosted ground.
"Holy crap," Jacob muttered. "I think they're going to make babies.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, Wait for You

Sara Wolf
“How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - "
“Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”
“Stalk me.”
“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.”
Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

Maggie Stiefvater
“It's like scrying into that weird space. There's so much coming out of him, it shouldn't be possible. Do you remember that woman who came in who was pregnant with quadruplets? It was like that, but worse."
"He's pregnant?" Blue asked.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Maggie Stiefvater
“Drugs?"
"Rituals. Are you messing around with drugs?"
"No. But maybe rituals."
"Drugs might be better.”
Maggie Stiefvater

Rick Riordan
“When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”
“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?”
Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

Maggie Stiefvater
“The buck stops here," Ronan said, pulling up the hand brake. "Home shit home.”
Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

Sarah J. Maas
“The king picked up his goblet, swirling the wine inside. 'I didn't receive word that your legion was here.'

"They're not."

Chaol braced for the execution order, praying he wouldn't be the one to do it. The king said, "I told you to bring them, General."

"Here, I was thinking you wanted the plesure of my company.”
Sarah J. Maas, Heir of Fire

Leigh Bardugo
“Wylan looked as if he was ready to wet himself. Helvar appeared grim as always. Jesper just grinned and whispered, "Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.”
Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows
tags: lol

Tahereh Mafi
“Good God, I have taken leave of my senses. I never thank Delalieu. I've likely given the poor man a heart attack.”
Tahereh Mafi, Destroy Me

Soman Chainani
“- You gave me a dead frog for my birthday!
- To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.”
Soman Chainani, The School for Good and Evil

Darynda Jones
“If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?"
I gaped at her. "You've really thought this out.
"I love your iMac."
"I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her."
"But you'll be decomposing.”
Darynda Jones, Death and the Girl Next Door

Sara Wolf
“I cannot, for the life of me, remember what we were just conversing about! Alas. I will forever remember this time we spent together affectionately and oh god I remember now you pervert!”
“You were the one who shouted ‘sex’!” He hisses.
“You were the one who was born, so really I think that’s the root of the problem.”
Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious
tags: humor, lol

Wendy Higgins
“Well,” I said, needing to lighten the mood for him, “next time Kai tries to, um, bust your balls, you can give it right back to him, because he's got a girlfriend now, too.”
Wendy Higgins, Sweet Peril

Dennis Miller
“A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.”
Dennis Miller

« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12