Jesper Fahey Quotes

“Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?"
"So?" said Kaz.
"Well, usually it's just half the city.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Where do you think the money went?” he repeated.
“Guns?” asked Jesper.
“Ships?” queried Inej.
“Bombs?” suggested Wylan.
“Political bribes?” offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. “This is where you tell us how awful we are,” she whispered.
He shrugged. “They all seem like practical choices.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“You’re stupid about a lot of things, Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I’m going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue.”
Wylan wiped his nose on his sleeve. “He’ll never believe it.”
“Then I’ll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Who’d deny a poor cripple his cane?”
“If the cripple is you, then any man with sense.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Nina might not be able to put you back, you know. Not without another dose of parem. You could be stuck like this.”
“Why does it matter?”
“I don’t know!” Jesper said angrily. “Maybe I liked your stupid face.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“I don't like this."
"To be fair, Matthias, you don't like much.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Jesper couldn’t quite believe he was having a conversation with the Sturmhond. The privateer was a legend. He’d broken countless blockades on behalf of the Ravkans and there were rumors that… “Do you really have a flying ship? blurted Jesper.
“No.”
“Oh.”
“I have several.”
“Take me with you.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“If only you could talk to girls in equations.”
There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they’d created in the link, Wylan said, “Just girls?”
Jesper restrained a grin. “No. Not just girls.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Wylan,” Jesper said, giving him a little shake. “Maybe your tutors didn’t cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blood and a knife up his sleeve.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Jes, I've thought about this-"
"Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"
"I've thought about your powers," Wylan said, cheeks flushing pinker.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Jesper ran a finger up Wylan's forearm, and Wylan flushed a vibrant pink. Matthias couldn't help but sympathize with the boy. He knew what it was to be out of your depth, and he sometimes suspected they could forgo all of Kaz's planning and simply let Jesper and Nina flirt the entirety of Ketterdam into submission.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“You’re our chemist, Wylan,” said Nina hopefully. “What do you think?”
Wylan shrugged. “Maybe. Not all poisons have an antidote.”
Jesper snorted. “That’s why we call him Wylan Van Sunshine.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Anything else?” asked Matthias.
“I like singing,” said Alys.
Wylan shook his head frantically, mouthing, No, no, no.
“Shall I sing?” Alys asked hopefully. “Bajan says that I’m good enough to be on the stage.”
“Maybe we save that for later—” suggested Jesper.
Alys’ lower lip began to wobble like a plate about to break.
“Sing,” Matthias blurted, “by all means, sing.”
And then the real nightmare began.
It wasn’t that Alys was so bad, she just never stopped. She sang between bites of food. She sang while she was walking through the graves. She sang from behind a bush when she needed to relieve herself. When she finally dozed off, she hummed in her sleep.
“Maybe this was Van Eck’s plan all along,” Kaz said glumly when they’d assembled outside the tomb again.
“To drive us mad?” said Nina. “It’s working.”
Jesper shut his eyes and groaned. “Diabolical.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” he told Wylan.
“What?”
“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”
Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?”
“Knife to the throat?” asked Inej.
“Gun to the back?” said Jesper.
“Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina.
“You’re all horrible,” said Matthias.
Kaz rolled his eyes. “The easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch. You take his attention and direct it where you want it to go. Hringkälla is going to do that job for us. The Ice Court will have to divert resources to monitoring guests and protecting the royal family. They can’t be looking everywhere at once. It’s the perfect opportunity to spring Bo Yul-Bayur.” Kaz pointed to the prison gate in the ringwall. “Remember what I told you at Hellgate, Nina?”
“It’s hard to keep track of all your wisdom.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Remember our friend Mark?” Wylan winced. “Let’s say the mark is a tourist walking through the Barrel. He’s heard it’s a good place to get rolled, so he keeps patting his wallet, making sure it’s there, congratulating himself on just how alert and cautious he’s being. No fool he. Of course every time he pats his back pocket or the front of his coat, what is he doing? He’s telling every thief on the Stave exactly where he keeps his scrub.”

“Saints,” grumbled Nina. “I’ve probably done that.”

“Everyone does,” said Inej.

Jesper lifted a brow. “Not everyone.”

“That’s only because you never have anything in your wallet,” Nina shot back.

“Mean.”

“Factual.”

“Facts are for the unimaginative,” Jesper said with a dismissive wave.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“The shout came from far below, and it took a moment for Jesper to realize it was Wylan calling to him. He tried to ignore him, taking aim again.
“Jesper!”
I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.
“Close your eyes!”
“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”
“Just do it!”
“This better be good!” He shut his eyes.
“Are they closed?”
“Damn it, Wylan, yes, they’re—”
There was a shrill, shrieking howl, and then bright light bloomed behind Jesper’s lids.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“What do you like?"
"Music. Numbers. Equations. They're not like words. They ... they don't get mixed up."
"If only you could talk to girls in equations."
There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"
Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls."
It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“We … uh … we were having a disagreement.”
“I can see that. I have been very patient with all of this, Jesper, but I am at my limit. I want you down here before I count ten or I will tan your hide so you don’t sit for two weeks.”
Colm’s head vanished back down the stairs. The silence stretched.
Then Nina giggled. “You are in so much trouble.”
Jesper scowled. “Matthias, Nina let Cornelis Smeet grope her bottom.”
Nina stopped laughing. “I am going to turn your teeth inside out.”
“That is physically impossible.”
“I just raised the dead. Do you really want to argue with me?”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“It was a calculated risk.”
“It was cross-your-fingers-and-hope-for-the-best. Believe me, I know the difference.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Help me,” said Jesper. “We need to barricade the entrance.”

The man behind the desk wore gray scholar’s robes. His nostrils were flared so wide in effrontery that Jesper feared being sucked up one of them.

“Young man—”

Jesper pointed his gun at the scholar’s chest. “Move.”

“Jesper!” his father said.

“Don’t worry, Da. People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It’s basically a handshake.”

“Is that true?” his father asked as the scholar grudgingly moved aside and they shoved the heavy desk in front of the door.

“Absolutely,” said Wylan.

“Certainly not,” said the scholar.

Jesper waved them on. “Depends on the neighborhood. Let’s go.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Kaz turned to Jesper. “Fit Helvar with some shackles to keep him honest,” he said as he headed below. “And get me clean clothes and fresh water.”

“Since when am I your valet?”

“Man with a knife, remember?” he said over his shoulder.

“Man with a gun!” Jesper called after him.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“You’re the fool,” Jesper snarled. “He’s smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Matthias joined them at the table. “The Shu woman we faced was stronger than me, Jesper, and Wylan put together.”
“You heard right,” said Jesper. “Stronger than Wylan.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Jesper’s mind emptied. He wasn’t thinking of what had happened before or what might happen next. There was only the reality of Wylan’s mouth, the press of his lips, then the fine bones of his neck, the silky feel of his curls as Jesper cupped his nape and drew him nearer.
This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it Wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh.
Slowly, inevitably, they broke apart. “Wylan,” Jesper said, looking into the wide blue sky of his eyes, “I really hope we don’t die.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Nina Zenik, as soon as I figure out where you’ve put my knives, we’re going to have words.”

“The first ones had better be Thank you, oh great Nina, for dedicating every waking moment of this miserable journey to saving my sorry life.”

Jesper expected Inej to laugh and was startled when she took Nina’s face between her hands and said, “Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt.”

Nina blushed deeply. “I was teasing, Inej.” She paused. “I think we’ve both had enough of debts.”

“This is one I’m glad to bear.”

“Okay, okay. When we’re back in Ketterdam, take me out for waffles.”

Now Inej did laugh. She dropped her hands and appeared to speculate. “Dessert for a life? I’m not sure that seems equitable.”

“I expect really good waffles.”

“I know just the place,” said Jesper. “They have this apple syrup—”

“You’re not invited”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Inej,” Wylan called from one of the rolling bins. “These are our clothes.”

He reached in and, one after the other, pulled out Inej’s little leather slippers.

Her face broke into a dazzling smile. Finally, a bit of luck. Kaz didn’t have his cane. Jesper didn’t have his guns. And Inej didn’t have her knives. But at least she had those magic slippers.

“What do you say, Wraith? Can you make the climb?”

“I can.”

Jesper took the shoes from Wylan. “If I didn’t think these might be crawling with disease, I would kiss them and then you.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Close your eyes!"
"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan."
"Just do it!”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“This was the kiss he'd been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker's Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart - or was it Wylan's? - like a stampede in his chest.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom