Humor Quotes
Quotes tagged as "humor"
Showing 1-30 of 37,285

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Northanger Abbey
― Northanger Abbey

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
― The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
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“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
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“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
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“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
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“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Diggers
― Diggers
“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― The Hunger Games
― The Hunger Games

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Pride and Prejudice
― Pride and Prejudice

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
― Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
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