Puns Quotes

Quotes tagged as "puns" Showing 1-30 of 176
Alfred Hitchcock
“Puns are the highest form of literature.”
Alfred Hitchcock

Dorothy Parker
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
Dorothy Parker, You Might as Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker

J.K. Rowling
“Yeah 'ear 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Marilyn Manson
“I have mood poisoning. Must be something I hate. ”
Marilyn Manson
tags: puns

Cassandra Clare
“I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

Rick Riordan
“This did not seem to reassure Nico.

“I don’t like being in the dark,” he muttered.

An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood what he meant.”
Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

Sean  Gibson
“The day I can't pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass.”
Sean Gibson

Douglas Adams
“It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Terry Pratchett
“I believe in reincarnation,” [Bjorn] said.
“I tried to live a good life. Does that help?”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Terry Pratchett
“...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"

"Yeah," said Rincewind. "...Luters, I expect.”
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic
tags: puns

María Amparo Ruiz de Burton
“Let us cry for the spilt milk, by all means, if by doing so we learn how to avoid spilling any more. Let us cry for the spilt milk, and remember how, and where, and why, we spilt it. Much wisdom is learnt through tears, but none by forgetting our lessons.”
Maria Amparo Ruiz De Burton, The Squatter and the Don

Terry Pratchett
“But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

G.K. Chesterton
“Coincidences are spiritual puns.”
G.K. Chesterton

Irvine Welsh
“Aye Oedipus, yir a complex fucker right enough”
Irvine Welsh, The Acid House
tags: puns

Adam Gopnik
“Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.”
Adam Gopnik

Stephen Colbert
“What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!”
Steven Colbert

Jonathan Safran Foer
“I don't mind if smiles come at my expense, I'm a small price to pay.”
Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
tags: puns

Jonathan Swift
“Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.”
Jonathan Swift

Terry Pratchett
“And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a lyre.'
'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.”
Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith

Terry Pratchett
“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Terry Pratchett
“He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
tags: puns

Leviak B. Kelly
“They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank discussions. And Shirley can join too because the pun works. The ideas of human beings of all demeanor and venues are at stake here.”
Leviak B. Kelly, Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction

Ridley Pearson
“Also not the kind of place to hide a server."
"Is that another pun?" She asked.
"No! I swear! I didn't mean that one."

~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5”
Ridley Pearson
tags: bad, humor, puns

William Shakespeare
“Tis no mean happiness to be seated in the mean.”
William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Stephan Pastis
“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.”
Stephan Pastis

P.G. Wodehouse
“I don't get your drift."
"I will continue snowing.”
P.G. Wodehouse, Summer Lightning
tags: puns

Brian Spellman
“Absence makes the mind go yonder.”
Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

Jasper Fforde
“Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although, to be honest, giant melons don't strike me as potentially that commercial.”
Jasper Fforde, The Fourth Bear
tags: humor, puns

Krisi Keley
“How many of us are there?” he demanded in a less than amused tone.
“Legions, surely, don’t you think it must be so?”
“How can you joke about even this?” he asked, anger evident in his voice. A rarity that he expressed it, or any other emotion, for that matter. Of course, that didn’t mean the emotions weren’t there, and I’d experienced every one he’d refused to show.
“Don’t knock what you haven’t tried, Michel. Trust me when I say my regular routine of self-amusement is a much better prophylactic against insanity than your grueling regimen of nightly self-flogging.”
Krisi Keley, Pro Luce Habere Volumes 1 and 2 Combined Edition
tags: humor, puns

« previous 1 3 4 5 6