Wit Quotes

Quotes tagged as "wit" (showing 1-30 of 473)
J.K. Rowling
“Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Douglas Adams
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
Douglas Adams

Oscar Wilde
“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
Oscar Wilde

Cassandra Clare
“Patience, grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait."
"I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

J.K. Rowling
“Don't let the muggles get you down.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Cassandra Clare
“So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.'
'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.”
Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
Sid Ziff

G.K. Chesterton
“I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.”
G.K. Chesterton

Ambrose Bierce
“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
Ambrose Bierce

Thomas Pynchon
“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.”
Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow

Dorothy Parker
“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”
Dorothy Parker

William Shakespeare
“Brevity is the soul of wit.”
William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Flannery O'Connor
“I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.”
Flannery O'Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O'Connor

Holly Black
“Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.”
Holly Black, White Cat

Joss Whedon
“Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.”
Joss Whedon

William Shakespeare
“The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.”
William Shakespeare, King Henry VI, Part 2

Jane Austen
“There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Joss Whedon
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.”
Joss Whedon

Oliver Goldsmith
“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.”
Oliver Goldsmith, She Stoops to Conquer

Wilkie Collins
“Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.”
Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

Oscar Wilde
“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.”
Oscar Wilde

Blaise Pascal
“I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."

(Letter 16, 1657)”
Blaise Pascal, The Provincial Letters

Abraham Lincoln
“Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Abraham Lincoln

Derek Landy
“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

William Goldman
“Now what happens?" asked the man in black.
"We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?”
William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Joss Whedon
“There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.”
Joss Whedon

Cassandra Clare
“I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.”
“A little girl robbed you?” Tessa said.
“Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel.”
Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

Edwin Markham
“He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In !

From the poem " Outwitted”
Edwin Markham

P.G. Wodehouse
“A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.”
P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

Brandon Sanderson
“Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?”
“Dumb luck,” Wit said. “In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb.”
Brandon Sanderson, Words of Radiance

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