Nuclear Circus > Nuclear's Quotes

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#1

“Fishing tip #11: To make your fish look fresher, stick those plastic googly eyes on them—even if your fish are still alive and swimming. Fish are natural clowns, they will find your sense of humor endearing, and they will appreciate you more when you eat them.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: absurd, appreciation, clowns, fish, fishing, food, humor

1 likes

#2

“History is now being documented in the moment through memes, and they shape our memories. I make them as if to say, "I was here, and I mocked this time and place.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: history, meme, memes, memory, mockery, moments, nostalgia, time

1 likes

#3

“When it's raining, I like to drive like a Monet painting, as I turn off my wipers and let the lights blur the shapes. Makes traveling more romantic.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: art, drive, driving, monet, painting, rain, raining, romance, romantic

2 likes

#4

“The brain is in the body, and memories are in the brain. Are my memories therefore not physical extensions of me, and able to be frozen for all of eternity, so that someone in the future can dethaw them and laugh at all the jokes I once enjoyed?”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: brain, future, humor, jokes, laugh, laughter, memories, memory

1 likes

#5

“If a guy has a thing for black women - jungle fever.

If a guy has a thing for asian women - yellow fever.

If a guy has a thing for indian women - curry craving.

Is there a term for having a thing for white women? What about latina woman?

For white women: Calcium deficiency? White delight? Snowburn? Mayo madness? Reverse-colonialism? Racism? The other white meat?

Empanada ecstacy? Guacamole grip? Tostones temptation? Arepa amor? Cafe con leche? A taste for churros? Sofrito satisfaction? Cortez' revenge? Catholocism? Arroz con pussy? Chile con culo?”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: asian, black, indian, latina, men, white, women

1 likes

#6

“I once worked in a glass shop. We manufactured ceilings to keep women out of upper management.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: absurd, humor, job, management, women, work

1 likes

#7

“I often can't remember where I'm at. I'm like that all the time. Not so much forgetful, but more futureful. For me, today is always tomorrow. To all the people who live in the moment I say: Stop living in the past.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: forgetful, future, humor, memory, past, present, time

1 likes

#8

“One of the biggest things I miss is the internet used to be an escape from meatspace. Now "internet" is so ingrained everywhere there is no longer that sense of escape. People don't say "g2g" or "ttyl" anymore because they never sign off.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: escape, escapism, g2g, internet, meatspace, real-life, sign-off, the-internet, ttyl

2 likes

#9

“If being forgetful is a sign of high intelligence, then people with Alzheimer's are like Isaac Whatshisname. You know, that one guy who did that one thing. Or was it two things?”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: forgetful, genius, humor, intelligence, iq, isaac-newton, memory

1 likes

#10

“The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: absurd, cat, cats, guitar, humor, love-song, music, musical, vibration

1 likes

#11

“Watches and clocks are round, like the product Brick Oven serves with five-star flavor, because it's always pizza time. But I'm always split over what to order, because I make their wings disappear like I'm Amelia Earhart.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: amelia-earhart, brick-oven, brick-oven-harrison-arkansas, food, harrison-arkansas, humor, pizza, restaurant, restaurant-review, time

1 likes

#12

“The sign in the forest said, “Closed For Repairs.” I wrote it and nailed it on a tree myself. I’m a farmer of parking lots, and I grow them like 1980s mall culture.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: 80s, absurd, farmer, forest, humor, mall-culture, surreal, words

1 likes

#13

“Everyone loves the smell of gasoline, but do you think it would make a good scent in a soap?

Gasoline-scented soap is a great idea that’s a terrible idea. Plus, if I made soap that smelled like petroleum, The US Military would invade my shower and kill me.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: fragrance, gas, gasoline, humor, military, shower, soap, soap-making, war

1 likes

#14

“In 2005 software actually had designs. Now everything is flat, colorless, without icons, without borders, gradients, just horrible. Mobile ruined everything, everything is just practical now.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: 2005, design, designs, gradients, internet, mobile, software, website, websites

1 likes

#15

“Google hit such a degree of control in their operation of YouTube that they can tweak the algorithms just right to recommend very peculiar kinds of videos to suit economic and social changes.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: algorithm, algorithms, changes, economic, google-youtube, social, videos

1 likes

#16

“Ah, the days when your desktop had less than half the memory on your current phone.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: cell-phone, cell-phones, cellphone, cellphones, desktop, memory, phone

1 likes

#17

“Contra prepared me for Metal Slug. Thanks Konami.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: contra, konami, metal-slug, video-games

1 likes

#18

“So if you'll excuse me I'm going to yell at phantom children to stay off my non-existent lawn. I will tell them how arcade games were the original multiplayer if they make nice and choose not to get help from the bottle kids.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: arcade, arcade-games, arcades, bottle-kids, children, lawn, multiplayer, phantom, phantom-children

1 likes

#19

“Playing the maze game on Microsoft Encarta, downloading Simpsons episodes on IRC, geocities and angelfire websites so shitty it was beyond hilarious, violent stick figure animations made with Macromedia Flash on StickDeath, StickSuicide and SFDT, no moderation on forums, what was a place for elitists and sophisticated outcasts primarily from western countries became streamlined starting with kids getting cellphones around 2000 and texting each other on a keypad that wasn't made for it. By 2003 or 4 hardly any kids went outside during summer.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: angelfire, cellphone, forums, geocities, irc, kids, simpsons, summer, texting, the-simpsons

1 likes

#20

“Back in the early 2000s you were called a freak, loser, virgin, nerd or weirdo by women for using the internet. Now look at them.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: 2000s, freak, internet, irony, loser, nerd, the-internet, virgin, weirdo, women

1 likes

#21

“There were actual online communities, and the lack of free options prevented people from forming their own personal hugboxes and fiefdoms.

There was no discord or free voice servers for the most part. Someone in your crew had to pay for TeamSpeak or Ventrilo server. This meant people had to cooperate and get along.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: discord, internet, online, online-community, teamspeak, the-internet, ventrilo, voice-servers

1 likes

#22

“Meatspace and the internet were almost completely separate things, and now its mutated into this horrifying semi-permanent hyperreality.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: hyperreality, internet, meatspace, online, the-internet

2 likes

#23

“Do you remember how people talked about the internet 15 years ago? It was this weird place full of scammers and fucked up shit, now its totally casualized.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: internet, online, scam, scammers, scams, the-internet

1 likes

#24

“The internet has more or less been in its present form, technology just had to catch up.

Trolls, death threats, porn, riveting discussion, free multimedia, art, fandoms, hacking, crimes against humanity and lonely people at your fingertips even on AOL, Compuserve or Prodigy.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: aol, art, compuserve, internet, porn, prodigy, technology, the-internet, trolls

1 likes

#25

“There are moments in life that fracture through an existence hard enough to not allow itself to be compartmentalized, rising above "I had fun once, and it was awful".”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: existence, fun, life

1 likes

#26

“I'm sure I wasn't the only one who had like 15 Juno emails just to keep the free dial-up.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: dial-up, e-mail, free, juno

1 likes

#27

“I lost a keyboard from the racing mission in Mafia.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: computer-game, computer-games, keyboard, mafia, pc, racing, video-game, video-games

1 likes

#27

“If you die while tweeting you go to Twitter heaven where you write 72 bangers a day on heaven Twitter.”
― Nuclear Circus, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: heaven, humor, twitter, writer, writing

1 likes

#27

“People would look at teachers differently if they had to wear the uniform for their second job when on the clock”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: job, teachers, work, workers, working

3 likes

#28

“The global mind control grid doesn't want you thinking about the global mind control grid; it doesn't want you telling anyone about it either.

The global mind control grid doesn't want you thinking about the global mind control grid; it doesn't want you telling anyone about it either.

The global mind control grid doesn't want you thinking about the global mind control grid

it doesn't want you telling anyone about it either.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

tags: global, grid, mind-control, telling, thinking

1 likes

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