Clowns Quotes

Quotes tagged as "clowns" Showing 1-30 of 42
D.J. MacHale
“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”
D. J. MacHale, The Quillan Games

D.J. MacHale
“I hate clowns. I've mentioned that, right?”
D.J. MacHale

Geraldine McCaughrean
“I hate clowns. You can't see what they're thinking.”
Geraldine McCaughrean, Peter Pan in Scarlet

James Howard Kunstler
“The United States is the wealthiest nation in the history of the world, yet its inhabitants are strikingly unhappy. Accordingly, we present to the rest of mankind, on a planet rife with suffering and tragedy, the spectacle of a clown civilization. Sustained on a clown diet rich in sugar and fat, we have developed a clown physiognomy. We dress like clowns. We move about a landscape filled with cartoon buildings in clownmobiles, absorbed in clownish activities. We fill our idle hours enjoying the canned antics of professional clowns... Death, when we acknowledge it, is just another pratfall on the boob tube. Bang! You're dead!”
James Howard Kunstler

Terry Pratchett
“No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Katherine Applegate
“Death's gruesome face taunts:
soulless eyes, crimson grimace.
I really hate clowns.”
Katherine Applegate

Kelly Link
“There was something about clowns that was worse than zombies. (Or maybe something that was the same. When you see a zombie, you want to laugh at first. When you see a clown, most people get a little nervous. There's the pallor and the cakey mortician-style makeup, the shuffling and the untidy hair. But clowns were probably malicious, and they moved fast on those little bicycles and in those little crammed cars. Zombies weren't much of anything. They didn't carry musical instruments and they didn't care whether or not you laughed at them. You always knew what zombies wanted.)”
Kelly Link, The Living Dead

Rupert Thomson
“Did I tell you about Anton?" Loots said.

Anton?" I shook my head.

It was a week ago, Loots said. There had been a knock on the door of his apartment and when he opened it his old friend Anton was standing there. Anton was a clown. He belonged to a circus that toured the provinces, playing to small towns and villages. They talked about the old days for a while, but Anton became increasingly restless and distracted. In the end Loots had to ask him if there was something wrong.

This is going to sound strange." The clown coughed nervously into his fist. "It's The Invisible Man. He's disappeared."

Loots stared at his friend.

He just vanished," Anton said, "into thin air."

The Invisible Man?" Loots said.

Yes."

He's disappeared?"

I told you it would sound strange," Anton said.”
Rupert Thomson, The Insult

“If you bake a cupcake, the world has one more cupcake. If you become a circus clown, the world has one more squirt of seltzer down someone's pants. But if you win an Olympic gold medal, the world will not have one more Olympic gold medalist. It will just have you instead of someone else.”
Steven E. Landsburg, The Big Questions: Tackling the Problems of Philosophy with Ideas from Mathematics, Economics and Physics

Terry Pratchett
“They are tragic,' said Vetinari, 'and we laugh at their tragedy as we laugh at our own. The painted grin leers out at us from the darkness, mocking our insane belief in order, logic, status, the reality of reality. The mask knows that we are born on the banana skin that leads only to the open manhole cover of doom, and all we can hope for are the cheers of the crowd.”
Terry Pratchett, Making Money

Dejan Stojanovic
“Statesmen are grocers, ambitious clowns.”
Dejan Stojanovic, The Sun Watches the Sun

Terry Pratchett
“Across the street, a clown picked up a ladder, turned, knocked the clown behind him into a bucket of water, then turned again to see what the commotion was, thus sending his rising victim into the bucket again with a surprising parping noise. The crowd watched silently. If it were funny, clowns wouldn’t be doing it.”
Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
tags: clowns

Christopher Lombardo
“With apologies to Judy Garland and Cole Porter, all the world does NOT love a clown. John Wayne Gacy might have been the final nail in the coffin in terms of anyone associating clowns with funny (if a bunch of clowns die, do they all fit into one coffin?)”
Christopher Lombardo, Death by Umbrella! The 100 Weirdest Horror Movie Weapons

Harper Lee
“Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them.”
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
tags: clowns

Rachel Van Dyken
“Parades terrify me,” Max piped up.

Jason nodded in understanding and slid the champagne toward him and Reid.

“Parades?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Really?”

Max shot me a look of terror. “The clowns are allowed out of their tiny cars, Colton. Have you ever even been to a parade? They hand candy and balloons to small children and have permanent smiles on their faces. No one”—he shuddered—“should have a permanent smile.”
Rachel Van Dyken, The Consequence of Loving Colton
tags: clowns

“A red nose is the clown's mask and my moustache is mine.”
Nuno Roque

Thor Benson
“Trump taught us how easily seemingly serious people can become profoundly idiotic. He turned career politicians into circus freaks.”
Thor Benson

Grady Hendrix
“Hating clowns is a waste of time because you’ll never loathe a clown as much as he loathes himself, but a magician? Magicians think they’re wise and witty, full of patter and panache, walking around like they didn’t deserve to be shot in the back of the head and dumped in a lake. For all the grandeur of its self-regard, magic consists of nothing more than making a total stranger feel stupid. Worse, the magician usually dresses like a jackass.”
Grady Hendrix, Paperbacks from Hell: The Twisted History of '70s and '80s Horror Fiction

Caroline Kepnes
“. . . a nightmarish thing that frightens Love, haunting her, weighing her down, the thing that she's supposed to love, the way the world initially instructs children to love clowns even though we all know deep down that they're creepy, old, puffy men in masks leering at children.”
Caroline Kepnes, Hidden Bodies

Neil Leckman
“Sure everyone thought the 'Clown Shoe' craze was funny until they saw the ants!!”
Neil Leckman
tags: clowns

“I have neighbors who are a bunch of carpooling clowns.
It's fun to watch them all cram into that tiny car each morning!!”
Neil Leckman, Wurms

Ronald, remember our deal? Keep feeding me the children. You'll stay rich while I stay
“Ronald, remember our deal? Keep feeding me the children. You'll stay rich while I stay full.”
A.K. Kuykendall

Lisa Berne
“Looking back at Lady Felicia, Anthony politely made his own lips curve upward. It was a thoroughly false and exaggerated smile, and he hoped he didn’t look like a clown in a circus performance. God, how he feared and hated clowns. How pleasant it was to be an adult and to be able to avoid circuses entirely, although in other respects being an adult was overrated.”
Lisa Berne, The Worst Duke in the World

Cliff  James
“More clowns from the darkness: Donald Trump becomes president.”
Cliff James, Life As A Kite

Vernor Vinge
“So even in hell, there are clowns.”
Vernor Vinge, A Deepness in the Sky

John King
“St. Genesius is the patron saint of clowns and lawyers. Clearly, the Lord doesn't always work in mysterious ways.”
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic

Connor Garrett
“Some firebreathers have to use props, gasoline, all that extra stuff," explains the Ringmaster.
"But not this one. He's real. That's why I gave him the stage name Dragon.
"And the clowns? Why do they look so sad?"
"Ah, yes. Their girlfriend ran off with the strongman yesterday."
"Their girlfriend?"
"Yes, she was a contortionist. And clowns share everything.”
Connor Garrett, Spellbound Under The Spanish Moss: A Southern Tale of Magic

“Then along came social media, the worst thing of all, the Cretin Unbound. Any moron could shout down Prometheus. The confederacy of dunces could descend like a pack and mock Apollo and Pythagoras. Now I’m putting an end to this circus. The clowns have performed long enough. The joke’s not funny anymore.”
Mark Romel, The Mistletoe Murders: A Nietzschean Murder Mystery

Angela Carter
“This dance was the dance of death, and they danced it for George Buffins, that they might be as him. They danced it for the wretched of the earth, that they might witness their own wretchedness. They danced the dance of the outcasts for the outcasts who watched them, amid the louring trees, with a blizzard coming on. And, one by one, the outcast outlaws raised their heads to watch and all indeed broke out in laughter but it was a laughter without joy. It was the bitter laugh one gives when one sees there is no triumph over fate. When we saw those cheerless arabesques as of the damned, and heard that laughter of those trapped in the circles of hell, Liz and I held hands, for comfort.
They danced the night into the clearing, and the outlaws welcomed it with cheers. They danced the perturbed spirit of their master, who came with a great wind and blew cold as death into the marrow of the bones. They danced the whirling apart of everything, the end of love, the end of hope; they danced tomorrows into yesterdays; they danced the exhaustion of the implacable present; they danced the deadly dance of the past perfect which fixes everything fast so it can’t move again; they danced the dance of Old Adam who destroys the world because we believe he lives forever.
The outlaws entered into the spirit of the thing with a will. With ‘huzzahs’ and ‘bravos’, all sprang up and flung themselves into the wild gavotte, firing off their guns. The snow hurled wet, white sheets in our faces, and the wind took up the ghastly music of the old clowns and amplified it fit to drive you crazy. Then the snow blinded us and Samson picked us up one by one and slung us back in that shed and leaned up hard against the door, forcing it closed against the tempest with his mighty shoulders.
Though bullets crashed into the walls and the wind came whistling through the knotholes and picked up burning embers from the fire, hurling them about until we thought we might burn to death in the middle of the snow and ice, the shed held firm. It rocked this way and that way and it seemed at any moment the roof might be snatched away, but this little group of us who, however incoherently, placed our faiths in reason, were not exposed to the worst of the storm. The Escapee, however, faced with this insurrection of militant pessimism, turned pale and wan and murmured to himself comforting phrases of Kropotkin, etc., as others might, in such straits, recite the rosary.
When the storm passed, as pass it did, at last, the freshly fallen snow made all as new and put the camp fire out. Here, there was a shred of scarlet satin and, there, Grik’s little violin with the strings broken but, of the tents, shacks, muskets and cuirasses of the outlaws, the clowns and the clowns themselves, not one sight, as if all together had been blown off the face of the earth.”
Angela Carter, Nights at the Circus

A.D. Aliwat
“Hipsters are clowns for the sake of being clowns.”
A.D. Aliwat, In Limbo

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