Pat Hatt's Blog, page 234

This Or That With Ease From The Cat!

The cat saw a guy the other day that would not do things the easy way. He had to go do them the hard way which should make for some fun at my bay.

There was a man,
Let's call him Stan.
Who could have saved time,
Instead he wasted his prime.

First he tried to get fit,
Had some weight and wanted to lose it.
So he hit the gym pit,
Could have lost it fast if he only realized he was so full of shit.

Then he wanted a ride.
Stuck behind his pride,
Instead of buying a truck,
He tested his car hopping luck.

Next he tried to get rich,
By marrying some witch.
But all he got was a high pitch,
And a need to have a stitch.

Then he had to give a speech,
But it was just out of reach.
As he drank lots of liquor,
Instead of quicker he got sicker.

Next he tried to make a flick,
He attached a camera to a stick.
And stuck it to a cow.
The Academy will never ask him to take a bow.

Then he wanted a house,
So he hired a mouse.
Thinking it was mighty.
At least he didn't think it was Aphrodite.

Next he tried to be a hero,
Instead he become a zero.
Literally too.
When you are dead they erase you.

Should have called the cops,
When trying to save lamb chops.
Those hicks don't like strife,
Especially when you steal their wife.

Hard or easy, easy or hard.
Either way he's beneath the yard.
Poor old Stan,
Should have went and got a tan.

Easy isn't always best but it can pass the test, especially if hard will get you beneath the backyard. Like jumping from car to car or too much liquor at the bar. One could make one shiver the other kill the liver. Easy or hard depends on what comes to pass. The direct route is always found by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Jack Is Back!

That is right, in about a year from last night, or last weeks last night. Did I confuse you at my site? Anyway, in roughly a year Jack will be back with a damn it cheer. Wish he'd just say shit, as anyone else would say it. What you are lost? I guess I will un-lost you at no cost.

 Speaking of which,That ending is still so crappy it makes me twitch.But damn it, no.Not the Jack on this show.
 
Damn it, not this guy.One can wish under their sky.But dumb MGM is sitting on their ass,Letting it collect dust in mass.
 
Damn it, that breath is rank.Could bust open a tank.No Jack ass allowed,No matter how proud.
 
Damn it, I'm blind. No Jack's of this kind.Olympic gold or not.Makes my eyes rot.
 
Yes, it always comes back,With a surprise attack.But damn it you are wrong.I hate its stupid song.
 
That was not up my sleeve.I am just going to quickly leave.Damn it, it was not me.That other guy is the cheater, you see.
 
Damn it, no jack rabbit stew,Is going to come due.Those legs are damn long.The luck in those feet must be strong.
 
Damn it, this guy is coming back,For a fifth attack.But damn it is all I can say,As after one they sucked big time with each play.
 
I never said Jack,Is on a back.Besides it is an arm.Damn it, I want to cause harm.
 
But I will let him do that.When he squashes all flat.For Jack is coming back.And damn it, it better not lack.
There we go. Damn it, that was a lot of Jack's to show. So many more too. I would be damning things all day at my zoo. But damn it I am glad Jack Bauer is back on the TV at every pad. As long as there is no damn mole or the whole "Jack can't be trusted" thing takes a stroll, it may be good. Beats any reality TV crap at least as they are all as dull as wood. So another 12 hours will come to pass. He can sure hold it better than my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.

I Guess Round Thirteen Is Bad Luck As I Go What The Umm Duck!

Say what you want about previous nuts, at least they were semi understandable when talking out their butts. Sadly, this batch of search engines crazy loons are singing some sort of gibberish show tunes.

"laughing bum"

I guess that explains it all. When laughing and talking you get the below search engine call.

"echter sex ohne deckw"

Anyone want to take a guess? A cruise ship sex affair captain trying to confess?

"nártoun"

Did the French find me? Damn, no par la whatever at my sea.

"rhymetyme patt htt"

At least we can decipher this one. Even though it's the cat not Pat who gives the rhymes a run.

"flappyfill"

You want to fill Flappy you say? That just makes me feel ill at my bay.

"alpaca portret"

Another fetish on the rise. Hint, they aren't goats in disguise.

"lodisung wethe"

Ummm beats me. They got hit on the head, clearly.

"sweet mook scat"

You are looking for the crap of Drazin? My, your mind is smaller than a raisin.

"chimpanzee dressed up like cupid"

Wow, I did not want to know. Keep such things in the bedroom at your show.

"sexpoggirles"

Girls with pogs turn you on? That is so 90's at your lawn.

"porno hatrek2*3"

Is that the same as hockey? Or for this hat trick do you need a jockey?

"superhero underwear for men"

There really are a lot of grown guys taking to the spandex skies.

"eastern bunny hide"

Does the eastern bunny hide in the west? Is this some sort of math test?

"cat at the end of it's rope"

I think you found one, after give this bunch of nuts a run.

And the winner this time really has committed some sort of genetic crime. Or at least has one screwed up view as he checks out each gazoo.

"nice ass from behind"
How would that even work? Can it be in front for some sort of perk? An ass in front and other stuff behind. Hmmm that would be a new level for all human kind. Such questions from the search engine class that I wish would never be given to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Not Too dVerse I Fear As I Rhyme Off My Rear!

Haven't done this for a long while so the cat figured he would turn up the rhyming dial. It may be dVerse to some but it is all the same to my little rhyming bum. For every word rhymes today with my chimes.

Hello!
Jello?
Mellow?
Yellow?

Fun Times!
Shun mimes!
Run rhymes!
Done limes?

At it again,
Spat shit hen.
That brit den,
Gnat spit pen.

Cats Rule, Dogs Drool!
Rats spool hogs school.
Bats fuel frogs stool.
Fats cool togs cruel.

Can't get caught over there.
Chant it lot, Dover aware.
Pant, spit, snot, Rover pair.
Ant split robot clover hair.

Action is all it takes today.
Fraction his call, lit lakes bay.
Attraction whiz stall bit makes way.
Contraction quiz hall hit rakes pay.

Touch base soon to win your prize.
Much face goon, clue, in drawer lies,
Such embrace spoon knew sin spore disguise.
Clutch case toon blue, pin store ties.

Why are you looking at me like that?
Lie far, cue booking cat flea hike at,
Cry bar. View cooking bat knee like gnat.
Sky tar new Brooking flat pee strike scat.

dVerse thinks it will beat my little rhyming ass.
Curse finks, hit hills, treat eye skittle timing lass,
Perverse pinks fit bills, defeat sky brittle miming bass.
Worse winks get chills deplete wry spittle chiming sass.

Now that will be it for today at my place.
Meow at ill sea shit more. Play bat sky race,
How? Gnat kill! Glee pit explore bay, lie face
Brow, pat fill. Flee hit chore display, sigh space.

See what I did there? One to ten at my lair. The cat can rhyme away every word on display. Always stretching my skill at my hill. Sorry if your tongue now feels ill. At least you know you got your fill as the rhymes show in mass. All thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Head West For A Fest!

So today is the start of a kind fest around each blog cart. Hmmm kind is so foreign to my little rhyming behind. I'll pass some gas and send it west. That will sure announce this fest. Like sky writing in a fart cloud. That would make me proud.

Kindness that is done,
Sure can be fun.
Which in blogland it surrounds.
Even old one eye with her hounds.

Not sure on nasty Irish Air,
She is vile at her lair.
Hank is also kind,
Going on the road so first some can find.

At least once in a while.
Did I mention Irish Air is vile?
Betsy pretends to be kind all the stinkin time,
But I have seen her scary chime.

The gawker must have kind eyes,
Or people think he is wise.
As he glares at them all day,
With a Peeping Tom display.

Plus no matter what I say,
From the litterbox to zombie feet on display,
Many come every day,
From May to May.

So with that,
I guess for one week I'll be a kind cat.
At least in spirit I suppose,
As I will still cause woes.

Except now all the kiddos can cheer,
Thanks to my rhyming rear.
Or the kid at heart,
Or some other part.

But the cat won't judge,
Just give a little nudge.
Did that go over your head?
Maybe you need to be fed?

So how about Free,
From little old me.
As in all week,
At Amazon's creek.

16 children's book to view,
All free at amazon's zoo.
So download away,
And be so kind as to leave a review and have your say.


 Amazon.com Widgets
All are above in case you forgot or are new. Grab every single one and give them a view. And feel free to be kind and shout out the free days to one in all if you have the mind. With so many on display which will you pick first at your bay? Now enough of this niceness sass. I am now going back to being a mean little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Strobe Probe!

So dVerse is going all picture once more at their shore and the cat just had to share, with each and every lair, the scary sight that is out there. Go out at night if you dare!


Beware the evil stare.
For when you get caught in his glare,
You are screwed.
The alien with the mohawk will give you attitude.

As in shove his instrument up your bum.
It will give off a hum.
I hear it gives off the tune,
To I Did It My Way making your cheeks swoon.

And nowhere across the globe,
Are you safe from the singing probe.
Worse yet it is like a disco ball,
And lights you up at your hall.

You will turn all new shades,
And sadly it never fades.
One day you will be brown,
The next day blue as you go across town.

Oh the misery,
That will be brought upon thee.
If you were to see,
This alien at your tree.

But there is a way,
To kill it at your bay.
I hear it is hard to do,
And has only been attempted by a few.

Sadly they were too late,
And the probe was their fate.
It is something you may hate,
And not something you'd ever put on your plate.

But it has to be done,
Unless you want probing fun.
The cat is even appalled,
As it could make anyone go bald.

In order to kill the mohawk alien at your sea,
You have to go back to Z.
As in what I showed you,
That is right, you have to grab a zombie toe and chew.

Then when he glares at you,
He will be zombified from such a view.
Then just chop off his head,
And that is that, he'll be dead.

So now you know how to kill a mohawk alien with a probe that hums I Did It My Way and turns you all the colors of the rainbow. So which will you choose? Either way you kind of lose. You have to eat a zombie toe or allow the probe to make you all disco. Decisions, decisions for one and all. I hope he never comes to your hall. The cat will try gas if he tries to stick any humming, glowy thing up my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Flash I Want To Bash!

Something the cat and Pat really hate across the land is getting snapped with a rubber band. Wait! We sorta bring that on stretching them out at our gate. Back to the task at hand, Something the cat and Pat really hate across the land is getting snapped with a rubber band. Wait! We sorta bring that on stretching them out at our gate. Been there said that? Just had to stress the point at my mat.

A brand new episode of your favorite show,
Is about to be given a go.
You just can't wait.
Not one episode drew hate.

Yeah that is a pipe dream,
But go with it for this rhyming stream.
You remember them all,
There at your hall.

Can't wait to see what happens this time.
Oopsy, they are trying to save a dime.
So now you get a remember when,
Leaving you annoyed as hell at your den.

But now as you grouch,
You have time to get off the couch.
Who cares about that flashback crap.
They just use it to fill in the gap.

Waste of time,
And a viewing crime.
If I wanted to see a flashback,
I'd watch the episode at my shack.

A brand new episode of your favorite show,
Is about to be given a go.
You just can't wait.
Not one episode drew hate.

Yeah that is a pipe dream,
But go with it for this rhyming stream.
You remember them all,
There at your hall.

Can't wait to see what happens this time.
Oopsy, they are trying to save a dime.
So now you get a remember when,
Leaving you annoyed as hell at your den.

But now as you grouch,
You have time to get off the couch.
Who cares about that flashback crap.
They just use it to fill in the gap.

Waste of time,
And a viewing crime.
If I wanted to see a flashback,
I'd watch the episode at my shack.

See, annoying as can be. It can also double for a repeat at my sea. Does anyone actually like flashback crap? Wish they'd be blown off the map. See, annoying as can be. It can also double for a repeat at my sea. Does anyone actually like flashback crap? Wish they'd be blown off the map.Wow, I'm full of flashback gas. I better not go flashing my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

It's Friday So Jump Away!

So Anne is always blithering on at her mat something about enjoying your weekend and all of that. For you just never know the way things will go. The cat agrees so he'll send her some party fleas to her knees. Meanwhile I will help out all of you and give you fun things to do.


Pretend your a plane.Then land on a train.Or just fall like the rain,Either way you'll make quite a splash at any lane.

Play chicken with a dragon.Could even load it in a wagon.But things could get dire,Either way you may get set on fire.

De-evolve to your true form.One that is more the norm.Put on a tutu to.Won't that be fun to do?

Be a bit rude,Play with your food.Fun things can be done with a weiner.WARNING! This post is not going to get any cleaner.

Flex those muscles at your sea.Throw a friend with glee.Right into traffic I suggest,It will prove you are the best.
\
Look at all the ass.Blah to such a mass.But if it is your thing,Go naked bike riding at your wing.

Or you could just pick your nose,To see if your booger glows.You just never know,It could put on quite the show.

Pumpkin canoeing is great.You could take a date.Then as it rots,You get wet lots.

Or forget the food,Tell the plate it is crude.Smash it with your head.That will cause that plate dread.

Or visit skull land.Would that not be grand?If you attempt some of these,You may get there with ease.
Now was that not great? I hope you don't make any of them your fate. But if you are bored and want to listen to Anne, go show your butt, I hear she's a fan. That is all I will say about that mass. You humans are so disturbing to my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Don't Budge For It's Time To Judge!

When visiting that other sea, there we see the obsession of great nanny. She watches those judge shows each day, like 4 or 5 of them at play. They are all the same, some this or that making some same old claim. Hmm may have to give that a go too. But first on to the judge shows at my zoo.

 
They could argue at PeeWee's playhouse.He'd judge them and give them a good dose,Of good old big top fun.Be a worse sentence than death row under your sun.
 
Judging while you clean.It wouldn't be too obscene.Some need a good scrub down.The winner gets the clean as a whistle crown.
 
Having been around the block,A time or ten with his umm glock. He could judge away,And make those pesky divorce cases go away.
 
No words at all.He just gives a final call.Left or right,That one says good night.
 
Could call it making whoopi court.With God as an escort.Then if guilty is found.A lightning bolt will give you an extra crispy sound.
 
Damn! That would just scare anyone straight.No need to even debate.You were right, I was wrong.Then they run away and get along.
 
He'll whip the into shape,And get them over their scrape.And you can bet,Each one will surely sweat.
 
You never know what he'd say.Could sing oh happy day.Or send you on your way,With words not even suitable for a porn play.
 
Scream in their face.It could be a race,Whose ear drums go first.The loser is the first to burst.
 
But my pick from the crop,That will sure make the petty squabbles stop.And save lots of time and money.Send them both to get eaten some place sunny.
Now wouldn't you watch those over Judge Judy? I wonder if humans create big duty? I suppose he wouldn't care if you were lyin' and many would end up cryin'. Each one is sure in their own class. All thanks to my creative little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sadly There Are More That Are In Store!

So after the last time the cat had to see if those female humans improved at all with their chime. Sadly, not a one, which works for me under our sun. Don't need Pat bringing home any ball and chain. So let the crazies rain.

I am a arsy person mos days.
So are you lippy under sun rays?
What does an arsy person do,
When they go to the zoo?

Luv forweeling.
Your language just left me reeling.
Plus you want to play in the mud?
Must have been where your head took a thud.

Hoping to real in a reel fish.
Click your heals and make a heel wish.
Damn, now you got me doing it too.
That just will not do.

Beautful an talented an also sweat!
Wow, you will make many hearts skip a beat.
Just to get through your rant,
Makes me want to date a plant.

I enjoy outdoors including movies too.
Do drive ins still exist near you?
Or do you charge your little DVD thing,
And hike with it letting the movie sing?

New to this, which me luck.
You'd have better luck dating a truck.
I'll give you a buck,
To quack like a duck.

I only speak French.
Umm did you get hit with a wrench?
None of your words are French at all.
I guess you talk French and write English on your wall?

Been having the wort dats ever.
How so, when you are clearly so clever?
I mean how could anyone not want to date you?
You sound so wonderful at your zoo.

Trying this out....might be crazy.
At least you are not lazy.
But thanks for the stalker heads up.
I'll go play with a pup.

I go for jail birds, but no bad boys.
What, do they have different toys?
Some dyslexic tendencies there,
Or maybe you like feathers instead of hair?

So as you can see, still all are very scary. I guess they don't know spell check has been invented at their show. Or maybe they have the hillbilly kind just to give them a little piece of mind. At least there is no worry of Pat bringing home a lass which delights my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.