Pat Hatt's Blog, page 253

I Am Here With My Rear!

So dVerse wants us to go all first person today. I suppose the cat could do that at his bay. I mean I can do it any other day. Of course not if Drazin comes with his third person display. That would just ruin everything here at my wing. Not that the godly mook does not do that steady. Okay, the cat is now ready.

I had strayed too far from familiar sights.
Her aroma had enticed me from the lights.
It sung like a mist clouding my view.
I had few senses that still had a clue.

I was ablaze as if crumbling into the sun.
My sweat relinquishing, hydration undone.
My body tingled saturated in simplicity.
My higher functions unrecognized duplicity.

I can still recall the night's bitter cold.
My hand's numbness growing as she took hold.
I had a compulsion I could not control.
I felt the chilling breeze try to freeze my stroll.

I knew nature was fast forwarding to spring.
I could feel the sinking earth beneath me sting.
My shoes became withered which each weighted step.
I could not find any prints as she continued to prep.

I felt a mist dribble down my cheek.
My body was collapsing to a state of weak.
I found shriveled skin upon my brow.
My sight clouded as if stuck behind a snow plough.

I grew stale on my previous blazing learning.
My insides were flipping burgers and churning.
I became anxious for those familiar sights.
I yearned for the tone I envisioned past nights.

I found thoughts ravaging through my mind.
My deepest regret was the family I would leave behind.
I sought some reversal to this distinct form.
My combined life's wishes only seeking the norm.

I blamed the most inanimate objects I could muster.
My inside murmur repeating, I was the one to trust her.
I had dreamed of my final sight with increasing age.
My wildest dreams not coming up with such rage.

I felt the piercing sting of her tune to my ear.
My brain once again telling me I had nothing to fear.
I found all I wanted was for it to be through.
My leg lifted, dangling upon the edge believing it to be true.

I froze inside to match my outer being.
I hoped my clouded sight was distorting what I was seeing.
My disgust would have been apparent had it been allowed.
I was slapped with her white hair as she smiled quite proud.

I remember those glowing eyes staring down at me.
I felt them sting my soul for what seemed like an eternity.
My body then sunk beneath a crashing tide.
I can honestly say my only regret was taking that ride.

There was my tale that I gave a wail. It is what popped in my head, so it is what I said. Now I must go roll in the grass pass some smelly gas, pick on that Cass lass and as always, shake my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Flip Flop Doesn't Stop!

It seems the cat has been afflicted by a germ that he must have got from playing with that worm. I ate the poor thing too. At least some good fiber came due. Anyway, things seems to be going all flip flop at my bay. I feel it coming back. I guess I'll have to work through it at my shack.

Typical to the things you saw,
Was the first reaction on tap.
Pat hates when I chew his toe raw.
War should never again take a lap.

Pal are you reading that rat?
Tar can cause you to murmur.
Rum rum is sure tit for tat.
Tat tells a story firmer.

Remrif sounds like a musical rift.
Tfir makes me think of trees
Seert sets their eyes adrift.
Trif da sports a cool breeze.

Ezeerb makes you know I'm a cheat?
Taehc makes no sense to me.
Em is sort for a name beat.
Taeb a weird dance at ones sea?

Aes sounds like I sorta swore.
Erows is where you sit for a flick.
Kcilf is such a bore.
Erob is such a dick.

Kcid isn't such a bad lad.
Dal can make you smart.
Trams sounds rather bad.
Dab in crowds when you must fart.

Traf is some sort of turtle.
Elt rut is one you want to avoid.
Diova can make one fertile.
Elitref is a side affect making you paranoid.

Diona rap is something to cheer.
Ree hc made a lot of loot.
Tool is another that shifts into gear.
Reag is culture that eats tree root.

Toor the great outdoors today!
Yadot may even appear.
Raeppa might be on display.
Yalp sid also likes to peer.

Reep what you sow almost works.
Skrow is a video game destination.
Noit an it sed explains all the perks.
Skrep is what you get from my word castration.

Noit art sac on the lists.
Stsil may make you ill.
Lli makes you raise your fists.
Sts if you want a big bill.

Llib stands for what is wrong.
Gnorw is a very foreign deer.
Reed sings his hero song.
Gnos just cured my little rhyming rear.

I think I'm all flip flopped out after this little shout. Thankfully no more forwards and back. That's enough to give one a heart attack. Or at least a good eye roll as they come for a stroll. So now you know eating worms causes more than gas thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

What's In A Name? Could It Bring Fame?

So a while back over at Brian's shack the cat saw Turdbusters on a pic he used. Oh how that could be abused. But the cat won't go there. In any case that company has never been seen or heard of at my place. But with a name like that, they must surely get remembered when the plumbing gets backed up at your mat. Let's see what the cat can do with naming things at his zoo.

Call Home Annihilation today.
We'll sell your home right away.
It will be like it's not even there.
While you search for a new lair.

Give Blazing Potatoes a call.
We'll drive you right up the wall.
For as you chew,
I bet a pepper thought will come due.

It's time you called up Stretchy Clotheslines.
Whether man, woman, kid or felines.
No longer will grass stains be hard,
For your whole shirt will be green as it stretches down to the yard.

Tramping Stamps is in full swing.
We'll shine up your bling.
Maybe even a hump,
If you check out our tattooed rump.

Coming To is here to serve you.
We know you have no clue.
So put those zombie days behind you.
All it takes is a kick from our kangaroo.

Globland is here to serve,
Warning we might throw you for a swerve.
Making some banned for no reason,
Or some word verification treason.

Quacking Crackers is your food of choice.
Just chow down and rejoice.
Now you to can waddle like a duck,
As your thighs grow wide as a truck.

Rockhangers will be right to you.
Hanging rocks all over your zoo.
You will take them to heart,
When you're surrounded by stone aged art.

Trouble in Paradise,
Will rid you of lice.
Even some mice,
Buy both packages and get a free pizza slice.

Dragon Discounts will fly your way,
Burn down all others on display.
Making you a sweet deal.
It's so sweet it's unreal.

Remember for each one,
If you give them a run.
Some conditions may apply,
They could suck you dry.

Maybe poke you in the eye,
Fail every single try,
Hammer your poor thumb.
Or sadly, they just won't come.

Doesn't each name just burst with such fame? I bet one could make a ton just by giving them a run. Just kick back a royalty to the cat and maybe a bit to Pat. I suppose I could just be full of gas which is usually the case with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Glitch Of A Witch Part Ten. Still Not Home To Our Den!

A look of dread came across Anne's face. For she did not want old one eye to go to that heavenly place. Do you think they let cyclops in there? Yeah, as no favorites are played at such a lair. Then friggin Anne jumped out without a plan, bringing forth a Betsy scream sending her zombified team at us in one big stream.

"Damn Irish. Even the fleabag has more sense than her. Why does Drazin bother?"

"Annnnnneeeee, save me!"

Anne struggled to break through and yelled some nasty words too vile to tell you. Betsy gave her half human, half zombie smile. And then old one eyes shriek could be heard for a mile. For the board beneath her let loose and she hung like a one eyed blue goose.

"Now your turn.
This time you all burn."

They gagged Anne on sight as she continued to fight. Pat turned into some pacifist guy. Of all the times for his mind to give that a try. Miss Priss and I scurried about, avoiding the likes of Brian and Glory Dear as they gave their moaning zombie shout. We knew we had to snap them from Betsy's spell but things were going completely to hell.

We were caught by the tail and Drazin let his name set sail. But that was all he could do, as a horde of zombies pinned him and Pat to the ground like glue.

"Open the fire.
Send them to the deep fryer.
Take this thing too.
She is way too blue."

Once more we were nothing more than bait heading toward a fiery fate. Until out of nowhere came some godly type of neigh. It seems Thinkingcap was not having a very good day. She came barreling through the horde, wrapping them in a magical lasso cord. Of course she got us too, we really had no luck at this candy land zoo.

"My powers will grow,
As I line them in a row.
They will go in the mirror.
Your complexion could be clearer."

"Don't talk to me.
I'll squash you like a flea.
Or maybe the ass you are,
Leaving you nothing more than tar.

Hmm I could use the phrase cat fight. But that probably would not be right. For one was half human half horse and the other half zombie with no remorse. That really brought out Betsy's mean streak. Either way we were up shit creek.

"Maybe they'll kill each other."

"Can't we all just have some peace and love."

"Drazin is going to.."

"Calm down and feel the vibe."

"Drazin is going to squash your human, Fleabags."

"Now what?"

The ceiling began to show a crack. Betsy's cave was clearly under attack. The roof began to pull away like someone was shoveling it into another bay. Then came a sight that made us sick. Godzilla Worqueendan was towering above us and well we could see his umm dick. I guess the he/she is gone. Then of course he began eating the removed candy land lawn. He began to speak too, spitting all over us which was just eww.

"There you are ass.
It is time for you to pass.
I am the king around here.
Candy land will suffer for having no beer."

The three of them stared each other down or at least the two of them while Worqueendan fixed his crown. Not like you could see him stare anyway. For his eye was bigger than the hole he made to show his you know, what nasty display. I guess he needed to eat more which he began to do while calling Thinkingcap an ass whore. We could not believe our ears as we saw fiery rears and heard two that we thought were through.

"Bryan, how do you know you have a hot ass?"

"When it's too hot to touch? Too hot to handle?"

"Wrong! You set it on fire."

The zombie horde just looked on with their blank view as we could not believe it was those two. Then Betsy and Thinkingcap started to be bombarded with dead heads. I think Waffles was off his meds. He gave some Tarzan cry and swooped through the sky. Thinkcap twirled her finger and his vine wrapped around his neck, sadly Waffles seemed to die.

"Let's go you eejits!"

Anne broke free her gag and Worqueendan's gut continued to sag. It could have been his boobies I suppose. Either way, we stomped on the zombie horde's toes. Miss Priss and I kicked Pat in the head and he went back to normal, not wanting to end up dead. Anne grabbed old one eye's body and off we went. Drazin, and I admit, we thought she was bent.

"Let's go eejits. Get your arses in gear."

"Like hell! Drazin is not going in there."

"I'm with the godly mook."

"The demon has a point."

"Come in, the fire is fine."

"Brandon, we have a fine fire and a hot ass."

"Living the good life."

"Get them my subjects, now!"
I'll take care of the old cow."

"They are mine, I need their power.
For I will make all cower."

Worqueendan had is mouth to full to speak but he wanted everyone to go up shit creek. Our only choice was to jump in the fire and hope we would not go to hell or some place higher. So we followed Anne and dead one eye, as all around us continued to cry. If the Beer Guys were still around, some hope had to be found. So in we went. Betsy and Thinkingcap cried out and were rather bent.

*****************************************
Everything is surely coming to a head. I hope we are not dead. Poor old one eye though. I guess that is what she gets for watching reality TV at her show. She was hung and her bell was rung. Or maybe she will return from the fire's burn. I guess we shall see what comes to pass to everyone and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

It Is True, Says Who?

NEWS FLASH! Make a dash, as a HUGE interview of Pat and the cat is over at this blog mat !

So it is the most wonderful time of the year at least according to many far and near. But does that really mean all has to be the same at one's scene? Screw the old PC, that will never be done by me. They can stick that in their pipe and blow it. Right up their arse bit by bit. The cat is talking about this and that, that supposedly has to be done at ones mat.

For every holiday,
It is expected at ones bay,
That all has to be done a certain way.
Or so the stick up their bum people say.

Have to use certain wrapping paper.
Pfft, pull a caper.
Using the mooning santa one,
It is very fun.

Have to have certain food.
Pfft not for this rhyming dude.
Instead eat what you eat every day,
At least at my bay.

Oh and have to sing a song,
Any other one is wrong.
Pfft not that they are bad,
Still some are just as rad.

Have to decorate because they did.
If not, nosey neighbor will flip their lid.
Not to mention neighborhood watch,
I'd kick that fuddy duddy in the umm crotch.

Have to have a certain tree.
Like one the mutt uses to lift its leg and pee.
Pfft palm trees work too.
Plus they won't remind you of the snow all around you.

Same for every holiday,
Each year as it comes into play.
Have to, have to.
Says friggin who?

Do what you want,
And then to the crones be sure to taunt.
That makes it so much more fun,
Then the same old crap that is spun.

Strange you may be called,
By those that are appalled.
But strange is grand,
Just look at me in my land.

Now I will go decorate my litterbox,
With some old holy socks.
That would make a great tune,
Hmm may have to be done by this loon.

This isn't to say ones traditions shouldn't be done, as long as all find them fun. But just doing them to follow the mass gives me plenty of gas. Or maybe it just makes me crass and I give off a little bit of sass. Either way I'll worship my singing bass or at least pretend to with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Here At My Haunt It Is A dVerse Want!

The cat is out and about looking at all these nuts giving a "huge sale" shout. He found them to be so grand that he wants it all in his land. Some of these things are truly dVerse and might take a ton of dough from your purse.

The cat wants a ton,
I can't possibly give it all a run.
But I will try,
As I let the rhyme fly.

I'll take a trip to some place warm.
A sunny day with no snow storm.
I'll take a trip to outerspace.
There I bet there is no rat race.

I want a plot on the moon.
A piece should be owned by this loon.
I want a winning lottery ticket.
Then I could tell work to stick it.

I want my own yacht.
Pfft that is not a lot.
I want my own country too.
Maybe even a golden loo.

A golden plated phone.
It must have quite the tone.
A car that goes very fast.
A trip to the past.

I want to visit Atlantis soon.
I want to stand off at high noon.
I want an invincibility suit.
That would surely be a hoot.

I want all fleas to die.
I want wings to fly through the sky.
A cat with wings,
Beats rats and other things.

I want my own battleship.
Then I could blow up anyone who gave me lip.
Maybe that would create world peace.
Just give me a golden fleece.

I want a genie too.
Then tons of wants could come due.
I wouldn't have to want at my zoo.
For all my wants would come true.

I need nothing at all.
As we sit here at our hall.
Except maybe no snow.
That I want to go.

There we go with the want flow. Wants can come and go but most are fruitless at any show. For the cat doesn't need much and such. As many do to I suppose except for maybe no woes. But then that is life and it comes with crap and strife. Now my wants have come to pass maybe that jolly fat guy will be nice to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

New, New, New Things Coming Due!

The cat and Pat came to terms for one day, as Pat always tries to put his ugly mug on display. So instead we decided to build a brand and came up with the below at my land.


Now just look at that.What a great cat.And it still shows off Pat,At least enough at our mat.
So now when you see this cat with each flag you know another children's book is in the bag. And now for the BEST book yet! That is a safe bet. Every single person who has given it a run, loved it a ton. Just look at the reviews on Amazon for it. This book will surely be a hit.

Kindle (Which you can download on your computer too! Also please leave a review!) Print Now doesn't that look great?
You will forever recall this date,
When this book came out of the gate,
For greatness is Zagonk's fate.

The cat will not rest,
Until it has passed the test,
And 10,000 at least are sold.
100,000 would be more bold.

So click away,
For one great rhyming and art display.
And spread it around too,
If it can be done by you.

For if I get to the 10,000 goal,
All here today that gave it a stroll,
Will be stars in an upcoming book.
Now go and spread it around at your nook.

Zagonk takes on the Frost Giant,
Who remains defiant.
Can he break through?
Read to find out at your zoo.

And WAIT!
On this date,
Is the premiere video of Pat Hatt's jingle.
Listen now, as it makes your ears tingle.



Now was that not grand?
My, a ton is happening in my land.
Spread that around too!
Play it until all turn blue.

For 10,000 is the goal,
Then many of you can take a kiddie stroll,
And be in your own book,
Starring with, maybe even, the likes of Tarsier Man at my nook.

So go go go,
10,000 will come all aglow.
Of course the cat thanks you for your time,
Unless you are a mime.

And did you see in the video as well,
Plenty of more is to come that are swell.
Some was future art.
That I'm hoarding at my cart.

Oh and even using crummy Facebook too!
Go LIKE and view.
Yes, that means you.
Tweet away also at your zoo.

So did you forget already?
I will remind you steady.
10,000 has to come to pass,
For that is the goal of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

With Missing Comes Some Familiar Hissing!

So dVerse is on the missing attack over at their shack and the cat just had to go back to a typical flow. I mean most of you are still at my zoo, so I really can't miss you. But there are some things that I miss in my wings. I bet you can guess where I am going, more or less.

Damn it, was such a hit,
A drinking game was made after it.
Each 24 hours was a very bad day.
I miss Jack Bauer on display.

Jaffa Kree!
Is surely missed by me.
One more time through the gate,
Should come at any rate.

Germs, milk, ladders, snakes and more,
Surely made him head for his home shore.
For Monk with his OCD,
Was always a delight to see.

Lots of things were at play,
That made this one quite the display.
And what the duck,
I do give a Chuck.

A deaf wolf and a Mountie,
They even boarded the Bounty.
Or some other ship,
The show was such a trip.

I can go all animated too.
Gargoyles weaved in tons of myths to view.
Although those chronicles sucked donkey bum.
Disney must have got into the rum.

The nukes going boom,
Bringing forth doom and gloom,
Puts Jericho on the list,
Of those surely missed.

There is Buffy too,
For those vampires are just eww.
They all need to die,
Taking Mr. Pointy to the eye.

A good X-men or Spiderman show,
As the later ones newest offering eats crow,
Is surely missed a bit.
Marvel animation is in some deep dark pit.

And many more will arise,
But I'm glad many dropped like flies.
After a while,
They just got vile.

It was time to turn the dial,
And give a see you later crocodile.
A cheat rhyme at the end,
Hope it didn't send you around the bend.

I suppose many a show if on longer, probably would not have been stronger. But you never know. So there is my missing show. Now don't cry old one eye for your reality TV can just fry! I guess all shows run out of gas but it won't happen any time soon to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Travel Through Time With This Chime!

Would you not like to travel back in time? Forget how it could be a crime or cost a pretty dime. Maybe you could stop the creation of the mime. But then I would lose such a rhyme so that would not be sublime. Anyway, today you can go back for free thanks to little old me.

Today we went to Peru.
Sorry, but it is true.
That alien door,
Here at my shore.

When reading this though,
All will be ready for the Christmas flow.
Black Friday is gone,
One big ass con.

Both Thanksgivings are through,
But so far not one has come due.
Old one eye yaps about a trigger or step or stair.
She simply rambles on at her lair.

I beat Mary at Brian's place,
Making her give me not a warm and fuzzy embrace.
Betsy, had a necklace come due.
Poor Irish Air is too busy cleaning out her loo.

Or was that making the cat a god?
Either way, go to newfie land and kiss a cod.
Halloween hasn't even come.
Christmas seems so far away to give a hum.

But all the fruitcake is being baked,
The leaves are all raked.
Probably even some snow,
Which I hate at my show.

Still now it is all sunny.
Santa hasn't gotten my money.
Waffles is deciding whether or not to get drunk.
Mama Zen is in a getting old funk.

It's an x-men show,
That Adam gives a go.
There are no jingle bells.
Maybe cons in cells.

Things might jangle,
From a certain angle.
See I can't be all Christmas cheery,
Time travel is eerie.

That is what happens when you're a cat.
Who likes to stay far ahead at his mat.
While I'm in the future writing away.
You are in the past reading my display.

Did I confuse?
Maybe abuse?
Oh that is grand,
Always skipping through time at my land.

The cat just had to let you travel back in time. I mean october 3rd was so sublime. Obama and Romney meet for the first time and e-coli is all over the news robbing you of more than a dime. I hope you enjoyed this time travel pass and coming back to this day with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Some Holiday Glee With Lots Free!

So the cat got another story on the go,
With his typical rhyming flow,
And it is published in the anthology above.
The cover even gives Elisa's legs some love.

And any profit for the next 20 days,
Will go to Primary Children's Hospital's bays,
In the form of gifts.
Spirits will get lifts.

I can ignore the germs for that,
Which are all over the hospital mat.
Right, let's not go there.
And it's free from Dec 2-4 at Amazon's lair.

But this is a book fair,
So the cat will have to add a pair.
Hell, let's go really out to lunch,
And add a whole bunch.

Amazon.com Widgets
So give the above a spin.
For they are all free at my bin.
And now all can see,
What comes from Pat and me.

Time traveling in a cat.
Actually that idea gets squashed flat.
As the zombies and others come into play,
Actually that get squashed flat too on display.

But at least they go to Hell.
That too has a twist that is swell.
And of course gods come into play,
Which too have more to their godly way.

Then there is the cat,
And Cassie at our mat.
She has to put up with me,
As I gloat with glee.

Of course we can't neglect,
The final one you can detect.
For pirates come galore,
As One Shoe Kangaroo is in store.

And now you can have fun with lots free under my sun. One can go and download away and read on their Kindle or computer those on display. Of course you can be nice too and leave a review. But the cat will still cause you sass, as always from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.