Pat Hatt's Blog, page 246

Don't Trip Over Your Lip!

So dVerse wants the cat to take a trip down memory lane or somewhere where you could go by train. Maybe out stuck in the rain or in a plane? Too bad the cat doesn't go anywhere, except that other lair. But we won't go there as I had to have a bath last time after I rolled in something rare. But then the cat is transported about at each place, so lets see if that I can't embrace.

Blogland pages, Blogland pagesBringing people out of their cages.There some sort of spark ragesFailing to extinguish on the Blogland pages.You'll find much in the Blogland pages.
Neighborhood watch. A camel toe crotch.Figures that represent a certain one eye.A Paleo lass. A bite to the ass.Sunset pictures with a clear blue sky.
A giant cat tower. A body waxing shower.A 67 year old sporting pink hair.Cheater spotting. Some grocery trotting.Pictures that can't help but give you a scare.
Blogland pages, Blogland pagesBringing people out of their cages.There some sort of spark ragesFailing to extinguish on the Blogland pages.You'll find many friends in the Blogland pages.
Brighter moods. Eve's attitude.Wading the waves of a crystal beach.Fact of the day. Happy Harry's display.With a sunrise and smoke not out of reach.
On Blogland Pages, Blogland pagesThe wacky and weird come in stages.A shrink might lock many in cagesShould they really look at the Blogland pages.
Caturday Cat Naps. Belly button laps.Fresher Friday vacuum brush dances.Lighting a house. Standing up close.Stood with a prayer to good old St. Francis.
Blogland pages, Blogland pagesBringing people out of their cages.Here much information ragesUnknown by many but those on Blogland pages.You can learn much from the Blogland pages.
Catholic Popes. Answers for dopes.Paths crossing the sky like a dove.Lord Ray's Loo. A contest or two.And best of all there is no need to shove.
Blogland pages, Blogland pagesBringing people out of their cages.Here much information ragesUnknown by many but those on Blogland pages.You can learn much from the Blogland pages.
There we go, past and present collide at my show, as I think about where I have visited along the way and what saw the light of day. Some a bit scary others too hairy but with each pass more fun is had by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Time To Give Stick A Little Flick!

  Have to wait and see who this could be!
Could the cat be telling you to stick it? Could the cat want to beat you with a stick a bit? All thoughts the go through ones mind especially when dealing with my little rhyming behind. But the cat is too slick to just hit you with a stick. Instead I use my pringle cans for that and so just stick with it at my mat.

Stick it here, stick it there.
With the stick beware.
For those that aren't picky.
Things could get rather sticky.

Now we will linger,
Up and around the finger.
Don't stick it in a plug,
Don't stick it to a thug.

Don't stick it in a pile,
Of something that smells vile.
Don't stick it a door,
And slam it at your shore.

Don't stick it in the VCR,
If you still have one at your bar.
Don't stick it in the blender,
Or the other thing that could change your gender.

All common sense,
But it seems some are dense.
So don't get tense,
It's time for the head to hop the fence.

Don't stick it between rails.
Don't stick it under cow tails.
Don't stick it under a tire,
Don't stick it in a fire.

Don't stick it on a table saw.
Don't stick it near my claw.
Don't stick it in the stove.
Don't stick it in a thorn grove.

And speaking of head,
This may cause dread.
But you can't stick it where ever you please.
Unless you want a generous disease.

So stay safe from harm,
This is not to cause alarm.
Don't buy the farm,
Now on to the arm.

Don't stick it in a fan blade.
Don't stick it out to get sprayed by Raid.
Don't stick it in a dumpster.
Don't stick it to a grumpster.

Don't stick it in a hose.
Don't stick it up someones nose.
Don't stick it in front of a bus.
Don't stick it out in the form of a cuss.

Flip arm for leg and finger for toe.
The same thing applies at your show.
Or for any other body part,
That stick it takes to heart.

For if you want to stick it to the man.
Throw him in a garbage can.
Stick a post it to his head.
Don't stick it to end up dead.

The cat just wanted to go all stick it today and so brought forth a stick it display. So stick it to the moon, stick it to a raccoon. Just don't stick it to a goon or a crazy loon. Then they may chop it off or something like that and you may be snip snip like the cat. Now I end my stick it mass and will watch where I stick my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

It's Prophecy Day For Many At My Bay!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So the cat found a random prophecy generator thing and thought it would be fun to use at my wing. I took the comments from the last post and generated one for all who visited my coast. Of course when this goes to air that would be three months ago at my lair.

Waffles beat Hank that day.
So he is first on display.
"A humble prince will never flinch."
Not even an inch?

Brian beat Hank too.
Must have been an off day at his zoo.
"A relationship ending shall not happen with the regretful player in the age of eternity."
So I guess don't go joining a fraternity?

Hank finally got around,
To being found.
He shall not lead with the aged jaguar in the fall for the sake of fate."
Good thing it is winter so there is no jaguar hate.

Then Betsy came to be,
Rhyming away at my sea.
"The faithful slave will never knit and a discovery will finally happen with the drunken angel in a wheat field."
Hmmm maybe she should look into a big shield?

Old one eye was up,
Giving her this little hiccup.
"She must skirmish near a well."
Lassie won't even save her from such hell.

Brian the cat came due,
Next up at my zoo.
"The smug hangman must not ensure with the curious jaguar during midnight."
I guess you know what do to if you see such a fright.

The Pokey Rock gave a cheer,
This one may cause fear.
"A breakdown will finally occur."
I hope nothing breaks to ruffle your fur.

Next up was Susan Kane,
It seems she might get banished from some lane.
"A banishment must not happen at a meeting place for the sake of redemption."
Think there is some kind of exemption?

Folklore came due,
With her big long keepin' it real spiel at my zoo.
"An announcement will finally take place with the gloomy orphan on a cloudy day."
Awww she's going to save little orphan Annie at her bay.

Da tabbies o trout towne,
Were next to come on down.
"They will finally rust near a holy site on either equinox coming."
Hmm better get licking so no rust comes a humming.

Peaches Ledwidge showed her face,
Giving a cheer for my crazy place.
"The wise hamster must dither."
At least you can do it watching Slither.

Mary came to spy,
With a rhyming cry.
"The diamond warden will finally scare in the summer."
Getting a diamond sure wouldn't be a bummer.

Anne of course had her 0.00001 cents worth added in.
She can never truly win.
"A takeover must happen with the crazy thief on some spring equinox day."
I knew she was so deceitful at her bay.

Adam came with a rhyme,
Thankfully it wasn't about a mime.
"A rebellion will finally occur with the cold-hearted lad."
I hope cold hearts don't catch on as a fad.

Spitty-the-Kitty came to spit,
And to rhyme a bit.
"He shall rush with the lilac hermit."
Just don't drool or spit.

And finally came Oui Oui.
Rhyming up a spell at my sea.
"A thwarted plan shall not happen near a fortress."
Maybe you better court less.

And that was the Saturday comments at my sea. Don't you just love a good prophecy? I hope none of them come true. That would mean many have a loose screw. At least none will come to pass for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

White As A Dove Give It Some Love!

Before we get to diaper man, Pat was shouted out at this Can. See what I did there? Also an all rhyming interview at this lair!


To the diaper wearing loon,That makes lovers swoon.With arrows on his back,Ready to swoop in and attack.
After all of these years,You still run corporate gears,Making a fake holiday,Overshadowing the groundhog's display.
Sure, you a little fat guy,That can flap and fly,Must appeal so much more,With your tales of lore,
Than a shadow fearing overgrown rat.But his candy is just as flat.I suppose yours has more lumps,It must be a struggle after giving so many humans the humps.
Do you let it sit for years to come,Like a fine wine or age old rum?I bet you watch too,You diaper wearing pervert, you.
Fuzzy bears for God sake,Make your lover's knees shake.And in the money the greedy rake,Oops, tomorrow the love is still fake.
I guess one to many hairs,Live on your legs in pairs.It must stop your powerful blast,For only one day it can last.
Your superficial strike,The corporations like.The lawyers do too!The divorce rate still proves you have no clue.
So let's give a cheer,To the one with the diaper rash rear.He is oh so grand,Spreading love across the land.
Having all show it with ease,By paying corporate fees.The board room loves his whammy,And tomorrow your relationship is just as clammy.
I think the cat would rather take zombie feet then the above picture treat. Blah to that, is all that can be said by the cat. And to people thinking a diaper wearing loon can forever make one swoon, pfft get a grip. Can you tell I hate this day from my rhyme trip? If you want to waste your time and drop a dime just come whiff my magical gas. It comes out daily from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Canada is Out Of Luck Unless You Have An Even Buck!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So last week here at our Canadian creek the penny officially became dead. Yep, off with its copper head. Or whatever it is made out of. That cat is too lazy to show that fact some love. That means now if it comes to $1.96 you are in a fix. But that isn't the worst part which I will show at my cart.

Step on our Canadian shore,
Bring your snowshoes to explore.
But forget some sayings you once had.
For they are no longer valid at our pad.

No finding pennies for good luck,
Instead throw salt and make people duck.
In for a penny, in for a pound,
I guess that would be nickel as up you round.

No longer can be called a bad penny,
Because there just isn`t any.
At least nothing can cost you a pretty penny,
So you can buy moose tails, many.

It even helps out poor you,
For no longer will you be blue.
You won`t feel like a penny waiting for change.
Boy, that was lame at my range.

I guess one still will stick,
As here it does the trick.
Now no one will have two pennies to rub together.
Think that will make all the same under any weather?

And you will feel the burn,
As a penny saved is a penny you could earn.
But now there is none,
Ruining your penny saving fun.

Fools will still turn up too,
But won`t be like a bad penny that they come due.
Instead will have to be like a quarter,
Or we just send all the fools across the border.

And this last one bothers me,
As I don`t give away things for free.
I have to eat you know,
So I hate to see this one go.

A penny for your thoughts.
Really hurts me lots.
I have lots of thoughts,
So I could have plenty of penny plots.

But at least we still have the loonie,
And if that isn`t enough the toonie.
Now if we were tiny,
We`d be a bit cartoony.

Just had to give that a go. Overall glad we no longer have to carry those things around at our show. But hmm rounding up or down? I bet down will be were all go to make us frown. Anything to save a buck, right? Which is why pennies are gone to the dead of night. Sorry penny, I don`t mourn your pass but you were fun to hit around the floor by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Approve dVerse Groove!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
Lots of spam all around but the cat finds it funny as some come with their same old sound. You still find them in the mailbox too. They sure want you to buy buy buy at your zoo. So they made the cat approve a dVerse groove.

Bad credit? No credit?
That is okay.
There is no edit.
You can have money to play.

Forget that fees.
Forget the rules.
You can buy big trees,
Or gamble like fools.

When others say no.
We find a way.
Just look at that car show.
Listen to what we say.

You could get that car,
You could get that boat.
Whether near or far,
You could buy a goat.

We are the best.
You will find no other.
We beat the rest.
You will never find another.

Forget the jargon we speak.
That is all just fine print.
You can go fish in a creek.
We will take care of such tint.

Why do I smile?
Why do you ask?
We just went the extra mile,
Take a drink from this here flask.

Take that it's free.
That gift is just for you.
Show all you see.
Our logo will make all less blue.

Oh and a card as well.
Here you are.
We never ever sell.
Have fun at the bar.

Look out for the flyer.
That will be out next time.
It will light your fire.
Having two cards is just sublime.

Aren't those flyers and emails grand? I mean they sooo help out at your land. Charging you up the arse in fees. But forget that and buy those trees. That is all they want and then they will taunt. For the interest will come to pass. To that I throw them in the trash and stick up my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Time For Round Ten With The Crazies At My Den!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
Once more here on the attack to give the search engine weirdos some flack. For there are a ton that come to give a bow, which can be seen since I have done this ten times now. Now I won't make you wait. Let's once more open the crazy search engine term gate.

"best rime ever"
"best rhyme ever"
"best rhymes ever"

The first guy is out of air or looking for something to do while bare. The second only likes one while the other likes all that is spun. Each want the best, I hope the first guy gets an annual disease test.

"viking woman armor"

I guess they want to see the cat chew some fat.

"pile road sign"

Umm err you have piles on your bum? Forget the road sign and get some rum.

"hot dog thong man"

I don't think I even wanna know. But at least either way a hot dog or maybe limp dog will show.

"fun facts about triskaidekaphobia"

You are a nut and all this year you will be in a triskaidekaphobia rut. If you believe in such crap. What a silly sap.

"brave with wet hair when she swims in the river"

Okay, you must have plenty of time in your day. Damn, that was long. Does wet hair make her strong? Or are you looking for a thrill? Go pop a pill.

"paintings of a farting butt"

Umm doesn't your ass have enough gas?

"scary nicolas cage"
"nicolas cage scary"

Either way it is true just look at his great hairdo. What hair? It's not a wig I swear.

"where does the thes"

Why does it its? You are the pits.

"cow nuts"

This one almost won. But another is much better that a nut spun. Imagine what came up? I bet it wasn't a pup.

"french mimer"

Is there even such a thing? They don't talk or sing. So how can they be french or whatever else they wish to be? Either way they are scary.

"fart under blanket rage comic"

At least their air is kept in. That isn't such a sin.

"ass wiggling screensaver"

I hope the ass was fine and not something from the humpty dumpty line.

"chubby man in boxers"

I guess that answered the ass question. I did not need an answer or want such a suggestion.

"man boobs prize"

Are you studying up on the case? Watch some, you may get lost in there without a trace.

"snow boobies"

It is the season I guess to commit snowwoman, or maybe snowman, treason.

And the winner that takes the cake and much more he or she does take. For the protection is at full strength here, you will never get a disease so have no fear. Hitting the market soon and helping you up before noon.

"weiner in armor"
And so ends another round. I wonder if the armor makes a squeeky sound? That could be awful cold. It could also rust or get some mold. I guess care must be taken though. Maybe some instructions will show. Round ten has now come to pass with the crazy mass, that have no class, here to visit my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer

It's A Gun Run!

The cat has no problem letting go as said at my show. But dVerse brought it up at their shore and I saw the below, deciding to explore. As clearly some letting go needs to happen in such a way that big canons aren`t legal to hang on the wall at any bay. So away we go with a different letting go below.

Gun sales up 20% down below. That means the US show. Is something the cat came across the other day. Wow, you guys like your gun play. I mean why not? You can use them to shoot at a pot.

The economy is down,
But don't frown.
Let's buy a gun.
And make all run.

You get a free apple.
Maybe some snapple.
A free pack of bullets too.
Look what free can do.

But food prices are high.
I suppose you can give hunting a try.
Oops, your poor toe.
Forward is where the barrel should show.

Even a cat knows that.
Oh, it was for a rat.
Yeah, those traps are no good.
Shoot it with a big gun you should.

Might make a tasty treat.
If you pick the lead out of the meat.
But that is a task.
Don't forget your freaky Jason mask.

Oh, you got that for free too?
Wow, oh so special at your zoo.
I bet you want to visit a store.
Become something of lore.

Oops, that Id card you left.
Proves you aren't good at theft.
But oh what fun,
An idiot with a gun.

That isn't all.
You have to get a sniper rifle for your wall.
It just looks so pretty there.
I'm sure all will stop and stare.

I mean compensation is key.
You can stare at it when you pee.
That will make you feel ducky.
Even if you can't get lucky.

Oh my what guns can do.
You should get two.
For you never know,
You may be attacked by a killer, zombie, five eyed, pink crow.

That cat just had to have fun with the gun, which it seems so many need. Too bad Jimbo didn't first learn how to read. Maybe he'd still have that toe and not be high enough to see such a crow. But he helps them sell in mass which is pretty pathetic to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Lame Is Around And Easily Found!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So the cat heard you all whining at my hall for such wonderful things to come due. I mean you did not believe those wonders were true? Now a sequel has come due and will be shown off at my zoo. I know it is just so boring to see. But you called for it, so don't blame me.



Look, it's a big pointy rock.Doesn't that make you want to talk?The grass can grow too.A rock with grass, who knew?

Rocks with faces.Staring off at other places.Don't you humans already do that?So now rocks have to also stare like a dingbat?

A great big hole in the ground.It sure wasn't dug by a hound.That is impressive I will say.It's an out of date litterbox on display.

And we have a great big wall.My, it is tall.Who ever would have thought of building a wall?My, it is tall.

A building that can't stand up straight. You humans and your screwed up fate.Next a wiggling building will come due.That will prove you have no clue.

Another rock face with no nose?God only knows.Why you humans have a thing for rocks.Maybe they take your lost socks?

A woman in a toga thing.Who can't even have a fling.Just standing there forever more.What a bore.

A round building with no glass.How is that going to keep out the bug mass?Tons of windows and no glass.Must have been built by a singing wall bass.


A building with tons of doors.And lots of white floors.First you have to choose,Then clean a ton, how can you lose?

And finally water going down a hill.That really has to thrillAlmost as fun as a trip to the vet.Oops, poor you got wet.
Now are you even still awake? Go hop in a cold lake. That will wake most of you up. Certain parts may suffer a hiccup. But at least it won't be such a bore. Like it was watching those oh so lame things at my shore. So the lame wonders have to come pass. Another reason sequels can annoy my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Board The Train Of Big Head, Small Brain!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So a few days back the cat noticed a so called article of a cat study at my shack. Then yesterday thanks to a certain bay, maybe the guy in the above pic? I'm still not telling about that little trick. Anyway, back on task. What was this so called study you ask? The Smithsonian Conversation Biology Institute, let's call them stick up their ass humans or maybe instead of stick, flute, went on about a "funded" study that stated, cats kill millions upon millions of birds each year and the stupid media made it highly rated.

They blame the trap-neuter-return and want cats to feel the burn. No more returning and such, instead bring on death's touch. Now it doesn't matter if it is cat, dog, bat or hog, I'd still rant about these big head, no brain idiots at my blog. So away we go with a rant that will show they are nothing but asses in glasses.

Look at the stats!
Oh no, it's those cats.
They are making the world a bad place,
Killing birds at a steady pace.

Let's shout it out to one and all.
So now people will ignore the big bouncing ball.
Meaning old rich bald men,
Can still go buy another den.

The world is going to shit,
As cats walk around in it.
Doing what nature intended,
Unlike the stuff humans have amended.

But shhhhhh let's not talk about that.
We have to blame the cat.
Who cares if we make more houses than we need?
Who cares if the world is run by greed?

Who cares if we like it when people get sick?
It adds more money in our pockets brick by brick.
Who cares if we want to start another war?
Who cares if people are killing each other in some far off shore?

Who cares if we never change from oil?
Isn't it fun to be greedy and watch all boil?
Who cares if cows produce tons of greenhouse gases?
We are big headed, no brained asses in glasses.

Who cares if many in the world are dying of starvation?
Who cares if you're charged up the ass with taxation?
Who cares if we produce more trash than half the planet?
At least our asses with glasses can fan it!

Next we'll blame the dog,
For farting and creating fog.
Then you can read and your little mind can believe that,
While our wallet gets fat.

For we really need that grant.
So we will ignore the harm of a nuclear plant.
The de-forestation, pfft who cares about that?
When we can simply blame the cat.

But why end there,
With the ordinary pets at your lair?
Rabbits chew,
That could turn all blue.

Hogs spread the mud.
Could slip and fall with a thud.
And oh my God!
Can't forget the cod.

I wonder what biased study we can cook up now,
So our asses with glasses can take a bow?
As long as the money comes in,
We'll make the results work towards the donors way for the win!

Many may know at my show that I hate studies a ton. For they are always biased when given a run. Cellphones don't cause cancer at all. Says the study done by the cell phone company at their hall. This drug is oh so safe to use. Says the drug company who gets your dues. And just like those, which will come as no shock, this whole thing is one big crock.

For the study from the asses in glasses that they spread to the masses, were done by those with an anti-cat track record out there on display. So what else would you expect them to say? Cats are good. Pffft another form of greed in the hood. Cats kill birds, humans shout nasty words, birds eat worms, those poor billions of worms are getting bird germs. Oh me, oh my, for the worms let's have a good cry.

Fact is humans have wiped more species off the planet than any animal, of any kind, ever has and ever will. Unless dinosaurs come back for a thrill. But we won't go there. So if getting rid of cats for birds is fair. Then I guess we better start killing off humans for all they've destroyed at their lair. And there was my rant for today class. It was a long one from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.