Pat Hatt's Blog, page 243

Get A Good Grip Of That dVerse Paper Clip!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
It has been a while since the cat has gone the what to do mile. Though as all I had was a paper clip to amuse. I figured this I could easily use. So what to do has come back once more to my shack. I have to give some dVerse advice and it beats a tack.

What to do, What to do
When All You Have Is A Paperclip To Amuse You!

What to do?
You have become blue.
Boredom has set in.
How can you ever win?

Grab a paper clip.
Keep it away from your lip.
Could get a cut.
Stings like a scratch to the gut.

So move on we will.
Wouldn't want anyone to get a thrill.
Bend the thing and make a shape.
Round like a grape.

Stick up antlers like a moose.
Puckered like a caboose.
Make a chain,
Swing it to cause pain.

Just watch for their eye,
Or any spots that could make them die.
That would be a shame,
If you were to mame.

Pick the nearest lock.
Walk in and cause shock.
Catching them in the act.
You did? Is that a fact?

Or hone your skills.
And test your wills.
The wills of each hand,
There at your land.

Oh where that could go.
Keep your eyes from down below.
I meant make a hockey stick.
Then give a fake puck a kick.

One for each hand of course.
The losing hand gets no remorse.
Later he gets a thrill.
Create a paperclip mill.

Send then down the conveyor belt.
And begin to pelt.
The conveyor belt had a meltdown.
You can't help but throw them all over town.

Balance them on the floor.
Watch as one comes to explore.
Stab them right through their shoe.
A bit violent? I agree with you.

But that is what boredom does.
Makes you do things just because.
Luckily I have all of you.
And now with a paperclip you know what to do.

One little thing can set off a whole post. I am a rather crazy host. So I suppose that is easy enough to come due. I could go on about whatever comes into view. Like that wig lady over there. But would you really care? I mean what to do takes the cake. Maybe I should do one on an earthquake? Or on how to fish for bass. Then maybe I'll get a fishing show starring my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Top 10 Causing Me Woes At My Den!

So the cat saw the movie blogfest and knew he had to join in with the rest. Sadly though, no way I could pick ten at my show. But later on I have a plan for that on the birthday of Pat. Then I will certainly abuse as myself I amuse.

Anyway, picked the top ten, in no particular order, that popped in first at my bay. Oh and I judge good by ones you can watch again and again not just some dumbed down whiny little emotional crap loved by those Oscar stick up the bum men and women. Also threw in some ones you may not know, because you never know, may want to give them a go.



"Don't feck with the Lords of Hell.""Don't feck with the babysitter."
Now after that,Plus the Babysitting Blues sung at a blues mat,And even an appearance by Thor.How could you not watch it at your shore?

"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit."
A time traveling car at play,As they go back in the day.With a face full of manure as well.It really is swell.

"Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fecked on national TV, Dwayne."
"Excuse me, sir! But what about the body that fell out the window?"
"Well, who knows? Probably some stockbroker, got depressed."
Best action movie ever.Well worth a watching endeavor.Plus who doesn't want to watch a show,Where a stockbroker jumps out the window?

"Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown."
Ghosts on display,Bill Murray was actually funny, unlike today.Plus can never say who you gonna call, Without thinking Ghostbusters at your hall.

"Where am I? I'm in Boise, Idaho; no, no, no, wait a minute: I'm in Anchorage, Alaska. No, no, wait: I'm in Casper, Wyoming; I'm in the lobby of a Howard Johnson's and I'm wearing a pink carnation."
When DeNiro didn't phone it in.Creating a movie that is a real win.One of the best road trip type movies going,Well worth a showing.

"You bought a used lion?"
Lions in the tall grass.Old guys with sass.Makes for a great flick,Everything really does click
"They call me Mr. Determined."
Not one many would list, I know.Say Anything would rank higher at many a show.But this one is just fun,And should be given a run.

"Hi I'm Paulie the Penis. And I just love to have fun"
"Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school... "Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."
A peep hole,As Lassie takes a stroll.Can get it at Porky's too.That ought to help you.Also little known fact,First Canadian movie, if only, to make it above the 100 million mark act.

"Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!"
Hiding under the bed from view,Being a peeper too.All while solving the case,With a stache on their face.

"What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."
Most fun movie I've seen in years,Plus gets the nerd in me cheers.So had to make the list,One of the only new ones that shouldn't be missed.

"I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before Me. Out of my way, asshole."
"Where the hell did you go to take that piss? Moscow?"
"Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being.""Stay out of my psychosis! Now get your ass in that van."
"I'm a police officer. Drop the gun!""I'm a mental patient. I'm not impressed."
This one was just tons of fun,To give a viewing run.As with the crazies I can relate.Watch and take the bait.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."
Simply one of the best out there.Has to be watched at every lair.Watched at least once a year,By my little rhyming rear.

"No! No exceptions! I want this job, I need it, I can do it. Everywhere I've been today there's always been something wrong, too young, too old, too short, too tall. Whatever the exception is, I can fix it. I can be older, I can be taller, I can be anything.""Can you be a minority woman?"
Another great Fox movie to view,Between this or Doc Hollywood at my zoo.But used this one,As isn't screwing Auntie Vera fun?

"You were wrong about me. What if I'm right about them?"
A fun, intense thrill ride indeed.Damn, now I sound like a billboard at my feed.But I don't lie,Should be given a try.


"There was only one assassination attempt on me. You had three."
"Two. The woman in Phoenix doesn't count. She only had a starter pistol."
"I can't shake right now. Have to keep my hands on the First Penis."
"Oh, yeah, I'm about to share my coffee with the Washington Love Machine. No dice. You could spit in a Petri dish and start a whole new civilization."
"You're a whore. Admit it. Admit you're a big whore. Go ahead.""Name three women from the District of Columbia that you didn't bang when you were in office - what am I talking about? Name one.""Screw you.""Blow me."
"I hate these funerals. It's just awful when another good Democrat passes on.""I believe the deceased was a Republican, sir.""Oh, well, then it might not be so bad."
One of those ones where you could quote it all day,As it really was a well written display.The two bicker very well,After reading those quotes it shouldn't be a tough sell.
And that is that. Tons more could be done by the cat. But these all popped in first, yeah I gave five extra with my burst. So the cat can't count at his sea. Wait until you see what I bring soon to my tree. So ends another movie pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Making Your Screen Nice And Green!

So over at dVerse they want one to write what first comes into your mind when green is in sight. But since the cat has many voices in his head, today much green you are going to be fed. On saint me day, as Pat likes to say, you may just forget the snow on display.

 
They are heroes in the half shell,And they're green.When the evil crocodile causes hell,They'll get mean.  
 
But he was born on a raft,And likes to give a snap.Plus he took up a craft,Making hats for each chap.
 
Except a one eyed freak,Who reminds me of another found around,The blog land creek.With the whine of a hound.
 
Thankfully the army men are here,Ready to join the fight.And kick her, umm it, in the rear.That will sure be a sight.
 
And with a big axe,The frogs will join in.Going to the max,For a big win.
 
Yet the three eyes will come,And split with the one eyes.Then all will give an even hum,But still they aren't very wise.
 
Especially this one hereShe shows off like a snack.So when one comes near,She will get eaten at her shack.
 
By a jolly green giant,Who has a fetish for snacks.He will remain defiant,And go on his chocolate attacks.
 
Even when the ring,Joins in with a flash.Oop, wrong hero I fling.Guess I was caught up in the clash.
 
Like the green ranger,Who calls his robot,And protects a stranger,Looking fake quite a lot.
 
It gets crushed and smashed,After a quick yell,The thing is surely bashed, And all quickly goes to hell.
 
Just look at his face.Does a round nose lie?Sure his scream could start a race,As the green guys fall from the sky.
 
Just look at that finger,It's all ready to go,And prepared to linger,Up the gazoo of your show.
 
But the namek will save the day,Ready to kick some butt.Yet look at the time on display.It will take 20 episodes for a minute to pass at your hut.
 
So riddle me this,And riddle me that.Is it pure bliss,To wear spandex but forget a hat?
 
He isn't saying,Keeping his tongue in place.But if it starts displayingYou may get crapped out as an egg for such an embrace.
 
That would make you mean,And you'd surely scream.Becoming an ogre on scene,Wishing it was all a dream.
 
But sadly he'll hit you with hyper beam,And you'll be blasting off again.No chance of ice cream,Today at your den.
 
Unless you pucker up nice,And follow a yellow brick road.With that face, no dice,Would rather kiss a toad.
 
Speaking of which,Simply use the force.Then your arms will twitch,And you can claim without remorse,
 
That you stole his lucky charms,And got away.You raised no alarms,And can have a fine green day.
So much green the cat couldn't stop. Did you know all that I gave a drop? They just kept jumping into my head as I went away, which sure greened up the place on saint me day. Hope you enjoyed the lucky green pass from my ever so charming little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Technicality That Is True In Actuality!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So the cat thought on this fine day he would address some woes with my final display. For they seem to be conflicted at their sea. You know then they have to be helped by little old me. So away we go with a little rant at my show.

Smash a printer,
Will let you enjoy winter.
Later all,
Is a nice fall call.

Getting a rummer,
Gives you a joyous summer.
And as for spirng,
Who doesn't like a fling?

But it seems some have it in their head,
That each saying should be put to bed,
Way before the time is due,
Here at my zoo.

And all I have to say to you,
Is that just is not true.
Just because snow does not show,
Does not mean winter has ended its flow.

Just because there is not heat,
Does not mean summer is beat.
Just because the leaves are gone,
Does not mean fall has left your lawn.

And just because the heat is on the rise,
Does not mean spring has left the skies.
Whatever your reason or way,
A big pffffft is all I will say.

I go by the official day,
Even if it was made up by some who cares who for display.
For when it goes to the actual day,
That is when I change my ending display.

Not before or after the fact.
No matter how the weather decides to react.
And just another tidbit,
Before I end this season hit,

Some places it is cold all year around,
Some places only warmth is found,
So you can't justify changing a season early there,
Which is the way of my lair.

It will turn when the day comes due,
And if it bothers some at their zoo,
Then the cat will ship you some sand,
And you know what you can do with that at your land.

This came about not at any under my sun that leave comments that are fun, besides maybe one or two who only like to whine about the send off I leave you. This came because an actual idiot emailed whining how it did not change. I mean really? Don't you have anything better to do at your range? Even more pathetic than the search engine weirdo mass, at least to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

It's Little Old Me And Of Course Cassie!

The first sequel to ever come due for a kiddie book here at our zoo, of course it stars me. I mean the adventures never end at my sea. So why not retell them in book form? Of course they are embellished a bit, but are sorta the norm.

This time,
I'm not the crime.
Cassie finally accepted me,
As The Wild Cat sings with glee.

But of course their is a thug,
Who is rather smug.
Thank God it wasn't a bug eyed pug.
Instead it was just an annoying bug.

And when those come,
They get eaten by my little rhyming bum.
Cassie eats them too,
So that is what we tried to do.

But did it come to pass?
As I did get a lot of gas.
So did prim and proper, Cass.
Guess you will have to have a look with another book added to our Children's book mass.

Oh and that makes 10!
That are done at our den.
A nice round number indeed,
Which makes the ocd happy at our feed.






Click Here to see another book starring me!
So there you are, another book added to our sandbar. The cat's ego is sure on the rise as he goes for that bug eating prize. I mean a book staring little old me has to trump a super hero zombie. Blatant advertising there? Bah, what do I care. So another book has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Back To Form As I Steal From Lurker's Dorm!

So the cat hops around and on Lurker's blog something fun was found. Showing the real sight of those here and there who visit his lair. It has been a while since the cat stirred some strat up. So left arm and all after this post you may spit out what's in your cup. Now it's on to Anne and her psycho fan!



This is what she would have you believe she is,With her oh so pretend kind biz.But the cat and Pat,Both see through that.

This is what Pat thinks she does,When she's not around to comment buzz.After lifting hubby around,She may as well show off the muscles that are found.

The cat on the other hand,Knows she is evil across the land.I mean just look at that face,Have to spray her with mace.

This is what she would have you believe she works at,Taking all kinds of time at her mat.As she works away,Painting miniatures night and day.

But both Pat and the cat agree,She steals them from some kiddie.And passes them off as her own.The PTA may soon blow up her phone.

And in the summer she gardens away,Making them oh so nice at her bay.Or so she claims.But we know she plays other games.

Pat thinks this is the extent of her green thumb.A bit creepy and then some.I wonder is she uses the brains for fertilizer?Could be the great equalizer.

But the cat knows,How her garden grows.She just buries people alive.Sadly none of them survive.
And perhaps worst of all,She answered her fan's call.Yep, they actually have been dating.I sure hope there was no mating.
Don't believe me?Here is some proof below for all to see!

Now you know the real Anne and once more viewed the creepy man. Or for some of you it is the first time. Oh the cat loves to stir strat up in rhyme. Now if that doesn't get some sass, nothing will from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter smash a printer.

Fun To See Those Buzz Like a Bee!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
Now the cat just has to say it is such a fun display to watch you humans go from semi-sane to all the way down the crazy lane. All from a little booze. Frankly, the cat would rather drink ooze. But that is neither here nor there for here is a post about those I see at my lair.

Everything starts out fine,
They all tow the line.
Just as any other day,
With their usual display.

The night drags on,
Things start to dawn.
But what could it be,
That is making one go crazy?

First it was some beer,
That made them cheer.
A very cheap drunk,
To get in such a funk.

But away they go,
Talking fast not slow.
Spurting things you never knew,
Some of it is rather umm eww.

Yet the truth unfolds now,
A cat fight breaks out, meow.
I hate that phrase,
But away we must blaze.

Then comes the whining,
As they continue dining.
For just because all are in a funk,
They ask why you aren't drunk.

For you should be crazy too.
Because they believe it to be true.
So here take just one,
It will surely be fun.

Say no and it's a sin.
God will strike you down for the win.
Oops no thunderbolts show,
I guess Pikachu is busy beating up a crow.

Like the mind of a two year old,
Repeating one thing that takes hold.
Over and over again.
Do they want to be stabbed with a pen?

So drunks are mouthy and happy,
Until they aren't satisfied being just yappy.
Then they are all over you,
Wanting you to be drunk too.

Boy, I don't miss those days.
They can keep their alcohol trays.
And if they get blue,
Shove it sideways and stick it up their gazoo.

The cat just had to say that after an experience by Pat. And after all Betsy wanted to hear something about it from my little rhyming rear. This was written back in December too. Sure now she has a clue. But some might spy at my grass, so better not to come right out with it from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

From End To End This dVerse Is Around The Bend!

Have to wait and see who this could be!
The cat is going to mix it up today in the stuff that he is going to say. It could be rather scary and things may get hairy. So you have been warned at my sea. Don't go blaming this kitty.

Time to take flight,
That could create an owie on sight.
Pfft who is this guy?
I think it's time you go beddy-bye.

Can you believe this crap?Yucky is all I can flap.Well stick it up your gazoo.For I have a rhyme to do.
But it is rather icky,
A yum yum is not tricky.
Some brekkie be nice,
I'd give the pretty kitty some mice.

Don't suck up to me,Shoo away from my sea.Go now, scat.Your words annoy the cat.
I will tell the bow wow on you.
Then he will give you a boo boo,
You big dum dum.
So give me some num num.

Never going to happen you,Instead I will ship you to the zoo.There you can swing with a monkey,And eat until you get chunky.
Can I take a choo choo?
Can I bring my sissy too?
I will go potty first,
So my tummy does not burst.

Fine by the cat,Just don't flick any snot on my mat.Don't cough on me,And no pulling the hair with glee.
You are a poo poo head,
With what you said.
A big meanie too,
I won't go any where with you.

That is great,That is grand.Now bring the hate,And leave my land.
The cat is glad he does not have to deal with that scary display each and every day. As one came to my bay and that caused me dismay. Now was that not dVerse? I did not even have to curse. Just broke out the other talk of those who could barely walk. Of course if they hear you swear that could change at your lair. But then that will be on you and not because of what I made come due. Unless of course one just takes a final pass and sees me wiggling off with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

With A Mind Of Dung Comes Ho And Gung!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
I was out and about at my sea and the cat once more ran into these idiots under some tree. They were standing there chasing some rabbits around. Ho was even on the ground chasing one like a hound. It was quite the sight to see. Actually, maybe not, but I will describe it for thee.

"Ho, why don't these rabbits give up their chocolate habits?"

"I guess they have to save them for commercial use. But if they don't give us some soon, I will make them suffer chocolate abuse."

The pair gave each other a stare and then gave me an hateful glare. I sat all smug and they went back to crawling around like a bug. Yeah, both of them were now on the ground. Gung makes for one pretty huge hound. Even a Great Dane has nothing on him. Although a weiner dog would make Ho grim.

"Why did who ever created Easter pick a rabbit, Ho? That is surely something I want to know."

"Yeah Gung, it does seem strange. With all the animals out on the range. They picked the one to give chocolate away that has shit the same size as the chocolate on display."

"Umm Ho, how are we going to know?"

"Know what? Oh you mean if it is chocolate or shit that comes out their butt?"

Boy, were these two dumb. They must have had some pretty strong rum. But they can amuse I suppose until they get eaten by killer crows. What? One can dream. I'm sure though they will never lose steam. By now Gung had the bright idea to climb the tree, proving even more he is not the brightest bulb at any sea.

"Ho, I know. I will watch how they glow. I will climb this tree and if they glimmer from afar, it will be chocolate that I see."

"Perfect thought, Gung. Then you can tell me which is chocolate and which is dung."

Now he was up on a branch looking down at their little bunny ranch. I knew what was going to come due even before his tree climbing view. For the branch began to crack and he fell to the ground, giving the rabbits a heart attack.

"Gung, are you alright? Did you catch any chocolate glimmers in your sight?

"Ho, I can officially say that here on this day, all we found was a pile of shit. Now I must go rinse and spit."

Gung pulled his face from the ground and nothing but brown spots were found. He sure scared those rabbits a ton. He looked so nasty my OCD had me ready to run. But the two went the other way, yapping about Easter for the rest of the day.

"Easter needs to have an Easter Moose."

"Hell Gung, I'd even take a goose."

"A camel might be nice. They could hold lots of spice."

"A zebra too. At least they'd have black and white poo."

"Is it that color, Ho? That is something I would also like to know."

So the cat has reframed from such a topic at his place. He can not help it if those two have such an embrace. He just told the tale that came to pass. They sure gave the rabbits more than gas. I think they need to join Drazin on the short bus to class. Next time I'll save them the trouble and send them a pringle can filled with stuff from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Two In One For A dVerse Run!

So dVerse wants one of each with what they preach. Pffft to that, may as well challenge the cat. First some random words they say, so tiger, palace, bites, runs, large, ugly, killer and physical came into play. Stole them from the TV, as it played at the other sea. That counts, right? Technically someone told them to me at my site. Now away we go, with some added musical flow.

The eye of the tiger so they say,
Will make you all Rocky at your bay.
Run up some palace stairs,
It's my life, but who cares?

Those bites are side by side.
That must have been one ugly ride.
The paradise city can be killer.
Could get all physical with Thriller.

Saying take this job and shove it,
Would prove you're fed up with their shit.
Leaving you large and in charge,
Or born on the bayou near some barge.

The palace is then thunderstruck.
Leaving the tiger out of luck.
But school is out for the summer,
Although that serial killer is a bummer.

The boys of summer may get the runs.
As Barbaranne brings roses and guns.
Getting all physical from behind.
Some jail house rock is so unkind.

Wanted dead or alive?
I hope you will survive.
Loves surely bites,
Under the covers many nights.

Don't worry be happy,
Ugly bites are no need to be sappy.
Go get em tiger, was said.
Just avoid bites to the neck and head.

This is some yakkety yak.
But my palace welcomes flack.
For you will get more than a blue moon,
Should you come near the runs of this loon.

Sadly learned by old run around sue.
She was rather large between me and you.
Not sure how she ran around,
No eye of the tiger was found.

So simply listen to the music today,
As you enter my bay.
And remember on most nights,
When the large ugly tiger runs and wants to get physical at the killer palace, life bites.

Now was that not fun? Had to do two in one. The more complicated it can be the better for me. Unless you go all boring stuff at my sea. But then I could spin that too most definitely. Now that is all class as I trot off with my random, musical little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.