Pat Hatt's Blog, page 245

What Was That Annoys The Cat!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
The cat is on a roll as he takes the rhymes for a stroll. But then stupid Pat bothers me and oops the idea decides to flee. Doesn't that suck? When you are just strat out of luck? With a simple what was that your idea can go adios and leave you flat.

That fell over,
Thanks to rover.
There goes your plan,
Some best friend of man.

A car horn honks away,
Making you a gawker at your bay.
Only a road raged nut,
Oops, your idea is as dead as King Tut.

Wake up with one,
Will remember such a run.
Damn, fell back asleep.
The idea is lost in the deep.

Gasp, best idea ever.
You are so clever.
Whoops, maybe not.
Guess it wasn't too hot.

Shouldn't have answered the phone,
Listened to the walls groan.
Hint, it's not really the wall.
Follow the bouncy ball(s).

Thinking of your gut,
Also leaves you in a rut.
Of getting ever so large,
While your idea drifts away on a barge.

At least you took out the trash,
Watched an episode of Mash,
And rested your pretty little head.
Sadly, the idea is still dead.

But don't jump in a lake.
An idea is easy to fake.
Just remember the rhyme,
And you can at least top a rotten mime.

For oh I remember now,
Could lead you to "How to milk a cow."
That is something all want to know,
So let the writing flow.

First you do this,
Make sure not to cause it bliss.
Watch for the feet.
Attack of the killer meat.

See wasn't that easy?
Now how to eat a freezie.
Damn, an idea from no idea at all.
Don't say I'm not helpful at my hall.

See when the idea goes flat just do like the cat. Rant about the idea going flat and then go eat a nice juicy rat. Or at least the first part if you can't take the second to heart. All the more for me and oh an idea is always had at my sea. But when you are so far ahead using them all just causes you dread. Looking at 90 posts waiting to show maybe I should go chase down a crow? Or go and catch another bass. Bah I will just be the same old little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A dVerse Board Strikes A Cord!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So this week the cat wanted to get really dVerse and decided to go visit a place where they surely curse. Also there is a lot of useless crap. But it will make a fun lap. Let's see what these oh so wise people had to say, as the cat looked over their bay.

"I want to eat yogurt and blue m&m's from someone's foot"
I sure hope at least it is cleaned and not fill of soot.
"Lonesome glory"
That sounds like some story.

"Echos in eternity"
Are you sure on your paternity?
"I'm a sleepingwalking brick"
It sure beats being a dick.

"I enjoy hippos"
And now the world knows.
"A goat on a box"
Is it in a time out for chewing your socks?

"im 0k with this."
Some grammar nazi's may hiss.
"You just lost The Game"
Sounds oh so fun but what's with the name?

"I.Need.Summer...NOW"
To that I also give a meow.
"I want $250,000"
I also agree with such hollers.

"Fruit cups don't taste good"
Go all gutter on that I could.
"Television wastes my life away."
Also increases your rumps display.

"I love pizza, nachos and beer."
Yep, your rump will be something to fear.
"I fell and hit my head today"
Clearly it shows with your display.

"pop the pills. pills to pop. pop-a-pop-a-pop."
If it is a blue pill up things could crop.
"Ostriches saved my life"
Wow, you must have been in some dire strife.

"Go ahead and sign up"
Will you put money in my cup?
"Explain why for my two cents."
It was not me, I'd never make car dents.

"It will take a couple days"
To raise my IQ back after reading these displays.
"I'm whispering, can you hear me"
Thankfully computers don't speak at my sea.

And that is all the cat could take as such dumbness I can only hope is fake. Almost makes those search engine nuts that find me seem a bit less scary. Then again maybe not, as there are a whole friggin lot. Oh and these were taken from a random message board pass. It popped up and I could not resist giving it a go with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Real Deal Of The Reel!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So you got stupid Cameron all egocentric and such. Blabbing on about being top dog at the box office way too much. The cat just has to say how full of strat he is with such crap. For all seem to be a sap and forget inflation at their sea. Of course you can win at the box office when it costs three times more to see a movie. So let's show the real deal of the top 50 and of course it will be nifty. It goes in order too from the first one you view.

Gone with the Wind I may be.
It beats being stuck in Star Wars with a wookie.
The Sound of Music is in my head.
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial's finger can cause dread.

The Titantic is sadly number five.
The Ten Commandments help all survive.
I like to flap my Jaws.
Doctor Zhivago curls my claws.

The Exoricist isn't very scary.
But Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs may have a hairy.
As 101 Dalmations sniff their butt.
The Empire Strikes Back at Jabba the Hutt.

Ben-Hur likes to purr.
Avatar is fourteen making it a blur.
Return of the Jedi will get your ewok on.
While Star Wars Episode 1 I wish was long gone.

The Sting might just hurt.
The Lion King deserves a Hakuna Matata insert.
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Steered clear of Jurassic Park.

The Graduate likes a mommy.
Fantasia lets you and Mickey get chummy.
The Godfather gives quite the bed head.
Forrest Gump might run until he's dead.

Mary Poppins will cure all.
A spoon full of sugar would make Grease have a ball.
The Avengers will, well, avenge.
Thunderball will have its revenge.

Then comes a The Dark Knight.
Him in The Jungle Book would be a sight.
Might turn out to be a Sleeping Beauty though.
Until Shrek 2 decided to show.

Ghostbusters makes you feel good?
Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid got stuck with some wood.
Actually stuck with more than a Love Story.
Even Spiderman would find that gory.

Independance Day brings the probe.
Or leaves you Home Alone stuck in a snow globe.
Pinocchio could not tell a lie.
Cleopatra sure gave it a try.

Beverly Hills Cop gave bananas a run.
Goldfinger thought that was fun.
Stuck in an Airport though.
At least gives you an American Graffiti show.

The Robe is oh so shiny.
Pirates of the Caribean: Dead Man's Chest is far from tiny.
It goes Around The World in 80 Days.
Bambi wanted to try and get some sunny rays.

Blazing Saddles will hurt your ass.
Batman thought that was rather crass.
The Bells of St. Mary's tuned it out.
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King knows what that is all about.

Finding Nemo means lunch for me.
The Towering Inferno I will push into the sea.
Spiderman 2 swings into view.
My Fair Lady has a crush on him too.

The Greatest Show on Earth,
Was when National Lampoon's Animal House gave birth.
But the Passion of the Christ.
Couldn't even stop Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith's childhood heist.

Back to the Future going 88 mph is some serious shit.
The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers had quite the pit.
I also have The Sixth Sense.
The Dark Knight Rises was worth a few cents.

See what a Superman I can be?
Meant cat, but it beats being called Tootsie.
Smokey and the Bandit might run you down,
In some West Side Story town.

Harry Potter and the Sorcer's Stone,
Made Lady and the Tramp groan.
Close Encounters of a Third Kind,
Had even Lawerence of Arabia protecting his behind.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show,
Had quite a Rocky flow.
The Best Years of Our Lives,
Weren't when The Poseidon Adventure gave you hives.

The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring,
Is quite the word Twister to sing.
But the Men in Black,
Will cross The Bridge on the River Kwai to attack.

For those Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World with a mad callin.
Swiss Family Robinson knew such a fact.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest as they got in on the act.

M.A.S.H is where they had to go.
Beats getting stuck with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom don't you know.
Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones,
Even gave Mrs. Doubtfire the groans.

Aladdin on the other hand.
Was too busy dropping a Toy Story 3 grand.
He was afraid of that Ghost.
The Duel in the Sun made him roast.

The Hunger Games sound tasty.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl leaves you pasty.
But a House of Wax,
Makes you look out your Rear Window unable to relax.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park,
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade avoided that mark.
Spiderman 3 came on back.
And Terminator 2: Judgement Day killed it for its abysmal flack.

What? You counted away at my hut? I sorta, maybe did double it up. Hopefully you had some extra coffee in your cup. For the top 100 did show. Proving Cameron is well down below. I just could not stop myself but I did so before I hit 200 at my shelf. You did not even have to pay for a pass for such sights from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Another Year's Tour As The Cat Turns Four!

So today the cat gets a nice big steak all to himself. I will grab it and run off with it to some high shelf. Then chow down and save some for later so my stomach does not frown. Nothing worse than a hairball and spraying it all over the wall. But now, if going by mutt years, I'm in my twenties or so, which means some wise words should flow.












There we go, now such wise words out of me will flow. I will make you humans so wise from now on that before long you too will be burying things in the lawn. At least the geriatic years have yet to come. Then we may get to what color each day the stuff is that comes from my bum. But there will be a long while before that comes to pass and many more wise words will come from my, another year older, little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Random Time. Is There Any Other Chime?

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
The cat knows he is always random here and likes to keep all on their toes with his little rhyming rear. But today things pop in his head that don't go together until I make it so and cause your mind dread. It is fun to confuse and so I will light the fuse.

If it is warm and sunny,
You can go outside and your nose isn't runny,
Shouldn't winter be done?
Instead of going into March twenty one.

For a time save,
You use the microwave.
So you micro a wave?
Poor wave in a grave.

I will pay you CASH in hand.
Shouts someone across the land.
What else are they going to use?
Swipe their debit card on your arm and abuse?

On a budget at ones work den.
Can't afford a pen.
But oh yes to that big new $1000 chair.
It just has such flair.

If you open your store,
But forget to unlock the door.
Is that false advertising of some sort?
Better watch it, might get taken to court.

What is up with the lemon?
Did it originate in Yemen?
For if you are out to lunch,
You are the lemon of the bunch.

If a judge is bought,
With a huge money lot,
Doesn't he become a peace broker?
Of course John Smith did not choke her.

Shouldn't it be the people not of Walmart?
Because 96% of the US lives near such a cart.
Only 20 miles away.
That may take the value down of your bay.

Want to go to Alaska and yet not?
Then take a hiking trot.
Visit the Unalaska city.
So you are Unalaska in Alaska, what a pity,

If the average person watched 900,000 hours of TV in their life.
Couldn't reality TV that causes the cat strife,
Be ones own room?
No wonder obesity brings so many doom.

Now wasn't that a random day? Have anything to say? Of course you do. Maybe today Brian will get first at my zoo. I bet it will be Hank. Of course Waffles could make him walk the plank. There was some more random sass from my always random little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Today That Voice In Your Head Will Cause You Dread!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
So today the cat is going to get you all going at your bay. For you will have much in your head by the time this is through. But it was oh so fun to come due. Even if some got stuck in my head as well, causing me quite the amount of hell.

The wheels on the bus
Go round and round, round and round.
Out don't cuss,
There is plenty more to be found.

Everybody sing this song,
Doo dah, doo dah
Never ending is wrong,
It's in your head, bah.

Who let the dogs out,
Who, who.
Some butt sniffing about,
By you you.

We all live in a yellow submarine,
A yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.
Cheating as I bellow at my scene.
Bellow at my scene, bellow at my scene.

It's a small world after all,
It's a small world after all, it's a small small world.
Which I rule at my hall,
Has your brain swirled?

I believe I can fly,
Spread my wings and touch the sky.
But I won't give it a try,
Because I may die.

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout,
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
I guess he just had no clout,
That must have made him pout.

When you wish upon a star,
Makes no difference who you are,
You still sing that crap far,
Your mind stuck in such tar.

I've got a lovey bunch of coconuts,
There they are all standing in a row.
Appeasing to some locomutts,
Who like dressing up in a bow.

And now we are done,
With our annoying song run.
I hope you had fun.
Enjoy repeating them a ton.

Now can you speak without a tune in your head? One that causes some serious dread. You may have it in your head all day. But sing it out across the bay. You may as well make others suffer too, unless they plug their ears at the singing of you. Then a different suffering will come to pass and that is enjoyable too, to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Let's Take A Peek At The Greek!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
First if you get a chance give this new blog a glance. The cat has sent him around to many of you, as he asked me for many tips at my zoo. I guess I can add that to the resume at my show. Helping new bloggers while chewing Pat's toe.

The cat has always liked the Greek gods and such. Although Drazin is a bit out of touch, thinking he is one with his third person yap and bald head under the sun. But at least he did not claim stuff like the ones below, out of the weirdest things they seem to grow.

Aphrodite was oh so grand,
She was the most beautiful in the land.
But guess how she came to be?
She grew from the sea.

Uranus got his genitals chopped off,
Which must have made him scoff,
And they landed in the sea,
With foam forming around the thing no longer attached to thee.

Poof! Aphrodite was born.
So to be beautiful, have a males genitals be torn.
Wonder what happened to the cat's?
That is what those vet's do, those rats.

Athena is another story,
And far more gory.
Zeus did the humpty hump with Metis,
And then ate her and her fetis.

For some prophecy said,
The baby would bring him dread.
And what happened instead?
The baby keeping growing and Hephaestus had to crack open Zeus's head.

Poof! It's a girl.
Makes my toes curl.
I guess Junior ripped Zeus off.
Sure he won't drown them in a horse trough.

Seems Zeus really likes to give birth,
After he diddled around on earth.
For he humpty humped another one,
And Hera did not think that was fun.

So she tricked the women into asking Zeus,
To show her his divine godly caboose.
So he let his divinity loose,
And she cooked like a goose.

Zeus snatched the baby and sewed it in his hip.
A few months later Dionysus took his birth trip.
So out of a thigh,
Came such a godly guy.

Damn! Oh so strange,
Those gods were truly out on the range.
So far out in left field they'll never return,
Coming out of ones hip truly must burn.

And now that the cat has made you all sick. I will end it before Zeus turns another trick. Or maybe tries to strike me down. I guess Drazin isn't from such a crazy town. Just look at those gods, I've seen more brains cells in cods. Of course after seeing them come to pass, those cods were eaten by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

When It's Cold You Humans Are Told!

Have to wait and see who this could be!
The cat was trying to sleep the other night and stupid Pat would not stay just right. He had to roll here and there and just curl up my neck hair. So I swatted him good and he soon understood. He did more so when I bit his arm around the elbow.

Pick a spot and stay,
That is how you lay.
For the entire night,
Until I see the sunlight.

If I want to sleep,
Ever so deep,
On your ass,
You take a pass.

If I want all of the bed,
You move your damn head.
You play like you're dead.
No matter how much I cause you dread.

If I want the pillow.
Go grab a pussy willow.
See the cat is nice,
Giving you a feline slice.

Or at least there is the name,
That brings some fame.
Just don't let things rise.
I may pounce should that arise.

If you can't tell from my look,
That I think you're a crook.
For stealing my sleep,
You flip flopping creep.

Then your leg will fry,
I'll poke you in the eye.
I'll steal the covers too.
And stick to you like glue.

It is cold,
So I am sold.
Even if you stink,
I'll curl up at our rink.

Then you stay still.
Or I'll give you a thrill.
The bed is mine,
All belongs to the feline.

You just rent your little spot.
I don't care if I make you hot.
Just stay in one place,
Don't make a funny face.

Don't grunt or move at all.
Don't go running down the hall.
Hold it all night.
And don't take flight.

I am the master of the room.
You are just the broom.
I'll lay like I'm in bloom.
You just stay still or I'll cause you doom.

All you humans take such advice or you'll be the ones chowing down on mice. When the cat wants the bed whether it's at your feet or at your head. Just stay still and you will suffer no ill will. If you move though I can't be responsible for what happens at your show. So just let the night pass and maybe you won't, but I'll be a happy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A dVerse Bark In The Dark!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!
I peered into the dark,
For something left its mark.
Pat was asleep,
But this could not keep.

I dashed to the bed,
Smacking him in the head.
I clawed at the sheet,
Going under for heat.

It was for heat,
I was not beat.
Don't even think that,
I just wanted to protect Pat.

So there we were,
I with my fur,
And Pat groaning at me,
He was a tad grumpy.

But I went down deeper,
For this thing sounded like a keeper.
It wailed and it popped.
I bet it even hopped.

Maybe that evil Nugget had found me.
But he already has cats by the plenty.
It could be a thief,
Ready to cause me grief.

They would steal my food.
That would just be rude.
Maybe Santa is late,
Or very early at any rate.

Drazin could be here,
But him you would hear before he got near.
It had to be a ghost,
From some far off coast.

That is when Pat heard it too.
I swear the thing could moo.
He looked over for Cassie,
Spotting the sleeping lassie.

How could this be?
Why would she not flee?
Then it came once more,
A popping at our shore.

Or it was a spurt.
I put Pat on high alert.
I told him to get a bat.
It could be a big rat.

But he just got up and walked away,
Leaving me alone at our bay.
What if it got him first?
That's when I heard a familiar burst.

He yelled my name.
I was not to blame.
I just chewed the tp,
And some funny looking handle at our sea.

Come to think of it,
It did turn a bit.
I then did a flip,
As my head felt a drip.

Sadly it seems the scary beast,
Was because I tried to have a handle feast.
I turned the shower on just enough,
To make it sound like someone was going to get rough.

Note to self,
Chew the corner of a shelf.
Leave those handles be,
No matter how juicy.

Now wasn't that dVerse? That monster made me curse. I mean shower handle. Next time Pat should light a candle. Some scary thing could lurk. I did leave him with a smirk. Something new I can do at our grass. I can turn the shower on with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Become A Fan Of Zombie Man!

Never fear, no zombie feet are near. This is the newest superhero on the block who is going to clean each bad guys clock. For today is the unveiling of the super undead. Yes, that is what I said. Today is the day that a zombie becomes a super hero at my bay.

He was down and out,
Wondering why all people did was shout.
Then came that faithful day,
When he made his first save in some way.

With his suit,
He still staggered like a brute.
Yes, he still had a smell,
But people no longer gave a yell.

They found him grand.
They cheered him across the land.
So he lapped it up,
Like an attention seeking pup.

Then came the crooks,
Who laughed at his looks.
But little did they know,
The power he had to strike a blow.

For with his dead but loving heart,
He beat them into submission with a body part.
Then it just clicks back on.
That is what happens when the super undead visits your lawn.

Now without further adieu,
Zombie Man for all to view.




Click Here To Peer!
Doesn't he look grand? I'm sure he'll be a great addition to superhero land. Between him and that Tarsier Man nut, I could get invaded at my hut. So go give a look and watch him stop a crook. A word to the wise as well, may be more for older kiddies as he is a demon of hell. So there we go class, a superhero zombie from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.