Pat Hatt's Blog, page 232

Today I Flash The Clash With The Lash!

Did you think the cat was done with his children's book run? Not yet at least as here is another from this rhyming beast. The land of cars take form this time and The Viking is behind such a crime.

Poor Poo had to wash away,
The dirt each day.
As the autos rule,
Everyone else tends to drool.

Note he is brown,
But don't frown,
It is not about a turd.
That would be absurd.

Hmmm just maybe,
One day at my sea.
Anyway, he runs away,
And has such fun with a lovebug each day.

Yet The Viking does not like that,
And wants to squash him flat.
What is poor Poo to do?
Maybe track down Boo and the Backyard Zoo?

A plug within a plug,
Like saying Cassie and The Wild Cat - Bug in the Rug.
Three in one day,
On a roll at my bay.

So before I name each and everyone,
With 16 under my sun.
I will just show it off now,
And the cat will take a bow.




Click here to see at Amazon's tree.
Look it even has the alley of the kitties on display, that can sure make the cat's day. Of course all may want to eat Poo. Sad but true. He is a mouse after all. So there we go, the 16th one added to my hall. Soon 20 will come to pass as they are sure adding up from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Damn Demand Here In My Land!

So the cat has to confess that each day what comes up is anyone's guess, but that you knew. What I have to confess is I'm addicted at my zoo. For the trail keeps blazing on as new ideas dawn. I hop around and all kinds of ideas are found. Plus just type one word and then comes out something absurd.

Damn, I can't stop.
Another post goes plop.
That point above,
Deserves more love.

The one below,
People have to know.
That ugly sight,
Was sure a fright.

But I just have to tell,
So what the hell.
Another post will come due,
Making me 100 ahead at my zoo.

Wow, I could take a three month break,
And go sit by a lake.
Look I even have to brag,
Should we discuss the rule of tag?

No, I really hate rules,
They are for fools.
The words give a command,
And to be told they demand.

I can't stop the flow,
They come high and low,
More ideas grow,
And give off their rhyming glow.

Even the old comes back,
On the rhyming attack.
Like turn OFF stupid WV at your shore.
Ever consider the mechanics of a slamming door?

See anything comes to mind.
This writing thing is so unkind.
Making me miss my nap,
So I can fill the gap.

But that gap never closes up.
It's like I have too much coffee in my cup.
Making the ideas hyper at my sea.
Of course no complaint will come out of me.

The writing just wants to be told.
Even if the post is three months old.
As it takes a while to come to pass.
Writing this one while I have gas.

It is November as well.
Boy, isn't writing swell?
It makes me do all of this.
I need to run around and hiss.

But oh no.
The rhymes have to flow.
About a speck of dirt.
Or some bimbo that wanted to flirt.

See that idea has to come out as well.
Plenty to tell.
Round and round the writing goes.
Now I will go chew on Pat's toes.

You know the bigger one is easy to grab. But if you can give the small one a nab, you may be able to run off with that. Although might hurt your human, poor Pat. But this writing hurts me. It is addicting you see. Actually I suppose it is better to do. Or the ideas would always be in my head turning me blue. Well I have to go write another post that keeps up the huge backload of this rhyming host. For another idea has come to pass. Writing is so demanding of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

dVerse Nut Jobs Indeed At Many A Feed!

So way back when here at my den, Anne let the cat in on some latest stupid meme thing. Hate those at my wing, about kitten huffing here and there and it seems everywhere. Doesn't that sound grand? Let's all go huff kittens across the land. Bunch of crazy humans I say with nothing better to do with their day.

But why stop there?
Huff away at your lair.
Already have brain cells a two year old could count,
Meaning not such a high amount.

Huff an anteater nose,
Could pretend it is a hose.
An elephant trunk,
Could fill your bunk.

Maybe even a fly.
Catch them in your eye,
And suck it up your nose.
Huffing them right down to your toes.

Could even huff a rock.
That may leave you with a shock.
As you plug a hole.
Letting death take its toll.

Even your TV screen.
As you watch some scene.
Huff the Hoff.
Each to their own at their trough.

Huff a frog,
Or the behind of a dog.
Then you will really have a frog in your throat,
Or join the crazy love boat.

I guess then you could take another round.
Maybe Gilligan will then be found.
Then you can huff a coconut.
All that from huffing a dog butt.

Huff a jellyfish.
But make a wish.
For it may sting,
Sending you to the emergency wing.

Huff a ground hog.
Then you can run from fog.
A shadow will be scary too.
My what the weather can do.

Add this to your kitten huffing,
Prove your brain is full of stuffing.
And mail yourself to Timbuktu,
Saving us all from your huffing view.

That is what the cat thinks of your huffing meme thing at any human wing. Brain cells die off fast it seems as one goes down life's streams. But if a huff really needs to come to pass, bend down and get a dVerse whiff of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Up To Fourteen Already As They Come Steady!

And the cat is back once more with another search engine nut encore. They never stop. I guess they like me giving them attention for each major flop. Like the ones today who go from crazy to scary at my bay.

"i play all day with my little red wagon g"

You typed out so much, Google didn't even want to reach out and touch. Had to cut you off, hope you and your little red wagon did not scoff.

"original rooms of superheroes mascot costume for kids"

Umm run on sentence there. I hope your kids are not aware. Such mouthy people today wanting to have their say.

"trippy pictures to look at when your high"

Even the dope heads can type away. But the trippiest of all would be looking at your own display.

"animals that mezmerize hypnotize"

I know I'm such a hypnotic cat that you can't help but come to my mat.

"bouncy ball with handle canada"

We have a bouncy ball with a handle up here? News to my little rhyming rear.

"he let out bad fart very gross coughing it is lingering"

Sorry for the smell, but the cat likes to cause hell.

"big eye cartoon creatures with black rings around the eye"

They just keep getting longer today. The shame, seeking Tarsier Man at my bay.

"bathroom rhymes your aim will"

Here is one I can do, all about the loo.

You aim will thrill,
If you miss the sill,
And don't make a splash,
Putting the seat back down before you dash.

"facebook "someone is making up a horrible blog"

Yep that is a scam, equivalent of toe jam.

"boobies on the beach"

Now that is the attitude, just strut around nude.

"chicken ans bunny matung"

Or maybe not. You need to seek help a whole lot.

"real people real sex"

Boy, you must have been disappointed finding me. At least my blog is free.

"nutcatch"

How absurd, they are here looking for Betsy's bird.

"both of us railing on yo butt"

Didn't I promise scary today? Sounds like some hick wants to see Honey Boo Boo's butt on display.

And to get even weirder at my sea the winner is here to greet all of thee. I think they are asking you for a favor too. So which one of you will write them such a thing at your zoo?

"barney & robin smutty fanfiction"
No takers? Aren't you purple dinosaur and boy wonder movers and shakers? Hmmm that sounded a bit dirty too. Or course they could mean the Barney from Bedrock, that type of bam bam could send one into shock. While you write fan fiction for this nut at your hut, the cat is just glad another one has come to pass. And never share such fan fiction with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

How Open Can We Be Before We Are Empty?

So the cat saw a quote the other day while out and about at his bay. Actually when this runs it will be months ago, but that you already know. Anyway, let's have some fun with it under my sun. What is it you ask? I guess we will put that to the task.

Dogs can talk.
You get fit from a walk.
What you drink is safe.
Rusty nails make you chafe.

Aliens live next door.
Lions yawn when they roar.
Cats can fly.
She really likes that guy.

Cancer has no cure.
Lindsay Lohan as an allure.
The lottery is easy to win.
Whatever it is I am in.

Cars need to drink.
It is safe to drink from the sink.
Oswald was really Howard The Duck.
Nuns never suck.

For that I'm going to Hell.
It is cool there I can tell.
That is a real million dollar bill.
You can get rich at the landfill.

Elvis is alive.
A nuclear bomb you can survive.
Just find a fridge,
And its water under the bridge.

King Abubu really wants to share.
You can get inches, we swear.
Bald be gone,
Using grass from your lawn.

There is no catch,
Buy this slug as it really plays fetch.
I am a time traveler from 2999.
It is safe to touch an electric sign.

By stock in my iceberg squirm.
You can finish 40 courses in one term.
Politicians don't lie.
Babies never drool or cry.

Any idea yet?
Are you cursing this pet?
I hope nothing fell out,
As that is what this is all about.

"Always keep your mind open but not so open your brain falls out."

Is the quote I was talking about. For it is true, some wear blinders up the gazoo. Thinking everything they are spoon fed is oh so true. Being nothing but a robot at their zoo. While others have brains oozing out their ear for they believe everything they hear. One in the same you say? Not likely, as each are in their own fray. Just thought it was interesting at my grass. So it came to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Too Rare For The Air!

The other day the cat saw some weirdo thinking they could get their sharp thingy mabob on a plane. Maybe they thought they were going on a train? Either way they had to leave it at their bay. But let's see what else was tried by the crazy.

A cell phone stun gun,
Was given a run.
But it did not fly across the map,
For it wasn't the correct app.

A spear gun was giving a run.
I guess fishing in the sky is fun.
Stealing fish from a birds mouth,
As you head south.

An ancient cannonball,
That wasn't too tall.
Guess it could still go boom,
So it caused much gloom.

Real live land mines,
Those scare felines.
Digging in the sand is no fun,
When you can go boom under the sun.

A Bazooka round,
Was found on the ground.
I guess they wanted to shoot a tank.
I wonder if their bazooka had a crank?

Snakes on a plane,
Almost came like rain.
About 95 or so,
Just wanted to slither around by your toe.

44 geckos in your pants.
They must squirm worse than ants.
But to each their own.
I guess he wanted to throw them a bone?

Of course there was the whole Weekend at Bernies wannabe,
With a dead woman in a wheelchair trying to fly for free.
Or maybe they did pay.
It didn't work either way.

Not satisfied with a crocodile handbag,
Or dressing in drag.
He put a crocodile in a handbag.
Sadly, not a gag.

And a tiger cub hidden away,
Among stuffed tiger toys on display.
I guess where's waldo is good after all,
Helping to spot the real tiger in the airport hall.

There we go with my airplane flow. Don't they know hiding things in pants will just make your full moon show? Not to mention a hand my traverse that land. Or maybe they are numb from geckos crawling around their bum. Either way what a class but very amusing to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Strike That Itch As Whoopdi Friggin Doo Helps You Get Rich!

So Robbie Raisin here with the Whoopdi Friggin Doo news of the day coming near. Don't change that dial, for we are going to show you the oh so vile. If you are able to track them down. You may get enough dough to go out on the town. Just remember to send a kickback to me should you collect the bounty.
 





























You could buy a house if you were to get more than close and nab all these bad guys. Don't fall for their lies. They will say anything to avoid jail. Just snatch them up and let them wail. And that is all the show we have for you today. Whoopdi Friggin Doo is all I have left to say.

********************************
Wow, the cat has to get his act in gear and find you all I fear. Such dough would be grand. Who knew there were such evil people in blogland? Each lad, cat and lass better watch out for my bounty hunting little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Do You Notice The Trend With The Titles I Send?

The cat has not done a show one in a while and figured he would do one in typical rhyming style. Show title that is too, just in case it was forgotten by you. The cat won't reveal which one as that would just spoil the fun.

Mixed Messages I may convey,
In my Split Decision today.
But I was Under The Gun.
Would you rather I give the Last Rites for fun?

That might leave some Scorched Earth,
Giving off a Shock Wave of worth.
But Desperate Times,
Result in Unchained rhymes.

Official Business would be a bore.
Like some Reunion uproar.
So it was a Necessary Evil today,
That I play Mind Games at my bay.

I am an Army of One,
No Better Halves under my sun.
I have you Dead to Rights,
Sending you back to Square One most nights.

Damned If You Do,
For there is No Good Deed at my zoo.
You just got Out of the Fire,
As Dead or Alive things get dire.

Will you make a Last Stand?
Show some Brotherly Love at my land?
I know you have a Blind Spot for me.
Guilty as Charged are thee.

For Where There's Smoke,
It means Friends and Enemies will choke.
And it is better the Devil You Know,
Than those Good Intentions that show.

But watch that Friendly Fire,
Such Noble Causes won't get you the hire.
Might bring your Enemies Closer though.
It is a Shot in The Dark, I know.

If you become The Hunter soon,
A Fearless Leader you may be by noon.
You may have to make an End Run.
I hear with Friends and Family it can be fun.

Which one is the Lesser Evil of the two?
Such Truth and Reconciliation is up to you.
Did I put you in the Hot Spot?
Do No Harm to that black pot.

Especially if you are the kettle and Double Booked.
It could create Bad Blood and get over looked.
So play the Good Soldier and salute.
If it is Rough Seas play your flute.

Trust Me it is the thing to do.
Turn and Burn without a clue.
Now we have reached the Scatter Point,
And there should be No Loose Ends at my joint.

So did you notice the show as I added the episode titles into my rhyming flow? I dropped a hint somewhere along the way. But I will only give one today. Now more useless TV knowledge has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling..

An Alternate Way To Think At Your Bay!

So the cat was thinking the other day as he saw some discussion on alternate reality at some other bay. That somewhere out there in some alternate lair, there is a me that can't rhyme. That is such a crime.

There is a me that can really talk.
There is a Brian that doesn't gawk.
There is a Betsy with all dogs,
There is a Keepin It Real Folks who lives in logs.

Oh wait,
That is her fate.
All hick and stuff,
Whoops, I've said enough.

There is a you that is ten feet tall.
A you that can stick to a wall.
A you that is a psycho killer.
A you that made a video like Thriller.

To dance and prance,
And get a glance.
In some spandex,
Might just convex.

An Adam that is short.
An Anne that is from a Japanese court.
A farawayeyes that is not far away,
And an old one eye who actually has two on display.

Wait! That is a lie.
In no sky.
Could she have two eyes,
Maybe there is a land where she doesn't get scared cries.

Could live where the North Koreans rule.
Dinosaurs could still be around to drool.
Aliens could actually have shown.
A tasty treat could be a dog bone.

Could be a place where Hank always gets last.
Where humbird's humming is a thing of the past.
Where Brian the cat,
Does not have a fancy hat.

Where Sherry doesn't make people feel ill,
From having to look at her duck bill.
Where Waffles is now a pop tart.
And where Mary has donkeys instead of dogs at her cart.

Where optimistic is pessimistic all day.
And Manzanita likes those doctors at her bay.
Or where My Journey With Candida is on another journey,
Like on her way to a demoltion derby tourney.

Where Alex ditched the ninja and became a cheerleader at his sea.
Where Trudessa told her other self to take a hike and robbed a bank with glee.
Where Rosey was really a witch,
And Theresa had an eternal itch.

My where things could go,
Should an alternate reality show.
Maybe you could even be a real live Batman.
The cat would even pretend to be your number one fan.

Tons of things could come due if the alternate reality is true. And why not? If a human mind can think of it there has to be something to the lot. Not sure I'd step through though if one were to show. Could screw up the whole time space continuum or something like that. Then everyone would perish thanks to a rhyming cat. So we won't let that come to pass. Would want all to curse eternally my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Back We Go For A dVerse Club Show!

So back a long time ago, while not so long to me since I am so far ahead at my show, but long to you, dVerse had an idea at their zoo. If you could chat with folks living or dead who would you invite to your bed. Hmmm that came out wrong. But go blame Donkey Kong.

The cat went back too far,
There is a door ajar.
At least no feather and tar,
Or some pirate arrrr.

Instead a dino rack,
At some bedrock shack.
My what strong feet,
Must be all that meat.

Kitty want a cracker?
That guy must be a slacker.
Clubba clubba,
Ducktales lost its Bubba.

That little thong,
Is just all wrong.
Plus your smell is strong,
I can't remain here long.

But this could make me some dough,
I'll have to stoop low,
And create a reality tv show.
Gross, I know.

Live In A Cave.
It will be all the rave.
One syllable words,
Or the language of the birds.

Either way it will please the masses,
Might even help some through classes.
Bam Bam,
Will really help some through the 12th grade, damn.

This could be a hit,
They even chew while they um shit.
In and out,
That is something to talk about.

By the water cooler all could yap,
About what is between each toe gap.
Is it breakfast, is it lunch?
Why not meet halfway and call it brunch?

I bet his baloney has no name,
My this show won't be tame.
Prehistoric porn,
A star is born.

Okay, that went elsewhere than what I meant at my lair. But that is how the rhymes flow and where it goes, hell if anyone around here knows. There was my history pass class and I am sure that would be a historic show from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.