Pat Hatt's Blog, page 228

Nothing To Say On This dVerse Day!

You see it time and time again at a many a bloggers den. So the cat just has to join in on the I have nothing to say today at my bin. That is right. I'm just posting to post at my site, for there is nothing to say at my hall. Nothing at all. Can't you see there is nothing on this wall?

Here's my update for today.
I simply have nothing to say.
Life is this the same.
Is this really lame?

Here's my thought for today.
I simply have nothing to say.
Why are you even here,
When no words even come near?

Here is my reaction to that today.
I simply have nothing to say.
Oh that person won some dough.
I still have nothing to say at my show.

Here's my exercise for today.
I simply have nothing to say.
I need a little R&R.
So I might buy a brand new car.

I just want to say I'm alive today.
But I still have nothing to say.
After all is been 24 hours,
Since you saw my rhyming powers.

I had to just update you for today.
I really had nothing else to say.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Haven't you ever seen a rhyming cat?

Lots of history I bet within today.
But I still have nothing to say.
Were you expecting some kind of fact?
I guess you will have to move on to another act.

Because I really have nothing to say.
Did you get that yet at my bay?
Or are you stuck in a rut?
At least it's better than being buried with King Tut.

Just like him I have nothing to say.
For I am dead tired at my bay.
But I will still show a post.
While I relax at the coast.

And I still have nothing to say.
See you are out of luck today.
Nothing at all is on my wall.
See you tomorrow at my hall.

The cat is of course as mouthy as ever. Isn't having nothing to say oh so dVerse and clever? At my bay that will happen never. But of course the cat had to endeavor. There are just so many out there with nothing to say the cat felt lonely not doing it today. So today I had nothing to say to each lad and lass as I wiggle off with my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Dog And Cat At My Mat!

So today the cat will prove how gullible the dog is with his rhyming biz. Yeah, I'll give some attention to the mutt. It's okay to do every once in a while at my hut. So just nod your head and agree as I go on my rhyming spree.

The dog wants to treat,
It wiggles its ass and puts up its feet.
Like a good little attention whore,
It gets a treat for such a chore.

While the cat demands a treat,
Or you'll be out on the street.
And after you feed a treat to a cat,
The only way you will get a paw as if it wants to give you a bat.

The dog has to go for a walk,
To prance about and let people gawk.
But it can't even pee all at once.
Instead it goes from tree to tree like a dunce.

While the cat digs a hole,
Maybe even taking care of that mole.
Then let's it fly,
Back once more to watching the birds in the sky,

You tell the dog a simple no,
It pouts and sinks down real low.
Waiting for you to change your mind.
Hoping from its sad face you'll turn kind.

Tell a cat anything to do with no.
They will do it anyway at their show.
Maybe even pretend they don't for a while,
Waiting until your sleep to act so vile.

You tell a dog to come as you pat your knee,
Looking like a crazy person at your sea.
And they come and slobber on you.
Just like you knew they would at your zoo.

You call a cat and do a dance.
They will barely give you a glance.
If you want them you have to come their way.
Don't expect it to be the other way around at any bay.

Then of course is where you sleep.
In the dog will creep.
And try to take the bed from you.
But at the end it will reside in view.

While in the cat struts its stuff.
If you don't move, things will get rough.
As extra scratch marks are just for you,
I know you needed an extra one or two.

The cat could go on all day here at his bay, that you obviously know from each daily rhyming show. Especially with the difference between the two. They are so gullible at each zoo. So was the cat spot on? At least we never leave things for you to pick up on the lawn. Of course you may find a dead rodent in the grass but that is just what is left and you will never see the part that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

It's Everywhere And You Use It Bare!

Unless of course you are really dirty or getting really flirty. Either way you might not have time to strip down as you hop in the shower and go to town. I mean cleaning of course at my sea, don't go all gutter on me. To late? I guess it's just my fate.

dVerse has water on the brain,
There at their lane.
Saying it is all around,
So a verse can be found.

They make it seem like water is oh so good.
Time to correct them at my hood.
Don't believe me?
Just follow along at my sea.

I buzz like a bee,
Needing to pee.
Crap! Literally.
The water is plugged by too much dead tree.

Time for that thrill,
Take one last swill.
Damn! Spilled water on the laptop.
Now it sparks non stop.

Water on Mars!
Somewhere under its dune bars.
But it costs 10 Billion to get there.
While we're 10 trillion in debt to the Chinese lair.

It allows for skinny dipping,
Yeah not just for sipping.
That is okay for some at their lair,
But others should not be seen bare.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Feel free to stop and ask your mother.
Have you finally caved?
They said nothing and just waved.

Yes, I am shore.
There is no need to roar.
Or be a beach about it.
Doesn't water have such wit?

It also lets you spit.
When you have a fit.
Some talk and spit at the same time.
Wish they were a mime.

And then worst of all,
It doesn't have just one name at its hall.
It is waaay to greedy,
Or maybe just very needy.

Lake, swamp, ocean, pond, sparkling, pure, river, stream. Water thinks it is so great with its gleam. Sorry to rain on your water parade. But I had to point out this charade. Not to mention it makes up the likes of Honey Boo Boo. Water needs to get a clue. That is all today class from my ever so hydrated little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

According To The Screen We Will Stay Clean!

So I'm sure you have noticed just like the cat that the end of the world doesn't seem so bad at your mat. And by that I mean on the TV for they all still look oh so pretty.

Zombies have taken over,
Eating everyone from human to rover.
Unless it is Dawn of the Dead,
Then it's not off with Rovers head.

But back on task,
All still look like they have just gotten a facial mask.
All prim and proper toes,
Their hair is even cut and not dirty like their clothes.

Same goes for when aliens attack,
They still have clean nails at their shack.
Their teeth are all white and shiny,
Even the teenagers are still whiny.

The world has been turned to ice,
That is just not nice.
But as you can see,
We may freeze our butt off but I'm still pretty.

Or there could be some big war,
Planet is not prepared for what is in store.
Barely any humans left on earth,
But barbers still hold worth.

Not to mention crest whitening strips,
They must have enough for double dips.
What's a nuke against teeth whitening,
It can even surpass Zeus's lightning.

Then comes some disease,
From something as simple as a sneeze.
Or maybe a bird, monkey or hog.
Even the cat won't blame a dog.

Yet even the sick and dying,
With their oh so fake crying,
Are still prim and proper.
From the guy on the corner to a copper.

So according to the TV screen,
Should the world ever really become obscene,
Like aliens from outer space,
Or dinosaurs come back and eat the human race.

There is no need to fear,
For your local barber will still be near.
As well the day spa.
So you can now go run and tell your ma and pa.

Ever notice that at your shack? I just had to go and give them flack. For their ego claims their fiction is oh so true sometimes, yet they commit such obvious crimes. Not that I really care but I still had to point it out at my lair. Though on a day spa I will take a pass there is no need to fluff my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

No Way Is What You Say!

So the cat is guilty of this too. I mean there are better ways to use the loo. The litterbox is such a mess. But I don't care I will confess. Pat won't let me use the big one anyway. He says I'll go on the seat and eat the TP on display. But that is neither here nor there, time to get to it at my lair.

Have you ever,
Thought you were clever?
Yes! I know many will say,
As you nod at your bay.

But then come to find out,
You start to pout.
For that guy or lass,
Made it come faster to pass.

Did it with less work,
Which is a perk.
Did it with less stress,
And also less mess.

How can this be?
Witchcraft from across the sea.
That is it,
A witch is behind this shit.

Yes, you actually swear,
Don't deny it at your lair.
Of course if you are old one eye,
You let something that rhymes with duck fly.

And then in the end,
You go right around the bend.
Pffft to their way,
Yours is the best at any bay.

But hmmm what if?
You suddenly give their way a sniff.
And wow look at that,
Saved tons of time at your mat.

It was a better way,
You now have more time to play.
Can even enjoy the day,
Go skinny dip in the bay.

Hey, it is summer after all.
Beats a polar bear dip at any hall.
And all because you gave in,
Figuring your way wasn't the only way to win.

If only all worked like that,
May get things done faster at ones mat.
But sadly so many have to stick to their ways,
Stuck in some rat like maze.

Change can be bad but then it could also help at ones pad. The cat thinks of the best way he knows and then let it flows. But if another one comes to light. He'll latch on and let it take flight. Except of course with gas and where I go to let loose the stuff from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

An Epic Sale Or Fail?

So for today we will look at the sales you humans love at your bay. Actually the ones you love that are far away, as they make less sense I say. But then I am just a cat that likes to tear up the mat.

Big sale today,
In the city on display.
It is only a two hour drive,
Which I am sure you'll survive.

Unless a crazy person is on the road,
But that is a whole other rhyming mode.
But you must get that sale.
You have to get there come rain, snow or hail.

You'd be a good mailman with that attitude,
Just don't go postal, that is rather rude.
Hop in your car and go,
You can't wait to save money at your show.

That is the best thing to do.
When those sales come in your view.
Better stop for gas,
Don't want to run out and start to sass.

May as well buy a snack while you are there.
Those chips are great at your lair.
Need something to drink too.
Have to stay hydrated for all the shopping you will do.

Now back on your way,
Nothing can stop you today.
You will have that sale.
Even if you have to shove another on the third rail.

Would not recommend that,
You may get an orange jumpsuit at your mat.
Save that for black friday,
Then you can blame the other nuts at the shopping bay.

You are finally there.
You even fix up your hair.
Ready to march into that store,
And get the things you really need at your shore.

You smile as you see the sign.
This sale truly is divine.
You save $1 on fruit loops,
To feed the troops.

Wow, you are so happy.
With no signs of sappy.
You just saved a $1 on fruit loops at your sea,
While spending $20 on gas to get there, yippeee!

Can you tell the cat was being sarcastic there? My the things some humans do at their lair. We won't even go into the snacks too, rising the price in view. Save a buck and spend twenty to fill up the truck. Great logic there has come to pass. It is just so astounding to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Time To Hit The Trail, Just Watch Out For The Third Rail!

So with gas, as always, high the cat thought he would help out under his sky. I mean now people go to and fro as they leave their show. All have to enjoy the sun so away they run. But no need to run, screw that exercise a ton. Hmmm won't go there, but sure some are aware. No need to drive, for the cat has much better things to use at your hive.

Stick your feet in a water case,
Then get ready for a cold embrace.
Put the case with your feet still inside,
In the freezer and away you'll glide.

Feet frozen in ice.
At a cheap price.
You can slide all the way to the store,
Or out and about to explore.

Can take your wheely chair,
And bring it out side of your lair.
Sit in it and push yourself out in front of a car,
You may get dead or go far.

Odds are 50/50 I suppose.
Be sure you bring in your fingers and toes.
No limbs should be harmed,
But if you die you won't be alarmed.

Get a big fan blade,
So big it will never fade,
And tape it to your head,
That is what I said.

Use duct tape too.
Then add a power pack to you.
And plug it in,
Away you'll fly for the win.

Want to go to the park?
You like hearing the dogs bark?
While step in cement at your sea,
Some that is drying preferably.

Cover yourself from head to toe,
And then away you will go.
You are now a statue in the park.
Don't frown, at least you'll have left your mark.

Could even ride a snake,
If they don't make you shake.
They slither along with glee,
Hissing at everyone they see.

No one will mess with your anaconda.
Doesn't that sound better than a Honda?
Oh what thoughts could come to mind,
As you go down that gutter grind.

And there we go, hope I have helped out at my show. Now you can travel the map and hopefully not catch the clap. Or bed bugs too. Those are just ewww. At least either way when you go from bay to bay, you can now save gas. All thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A dVerse Way Of Doing What You Say!

So the other day at Pat's work bay in came a guy who barely knew English under the sky. So when an expression was used he was confused and I think he felt a bit abused. But it left me amused and so this dVerse one was fused.

How is it hanging?I was snip snip, so it doesn't matter there will be no banging.What's up?The sky? The ceiling? Your coffee cup?
What's in a name?Letters, is this some sort of game?Kiss my ass!Only if it is a mighty fine mass.
Bite me!Would you like it in the arm or the knee?Go fly a kite.Can I chew the string at my site?
Time to go water the dog.I didn't know we had a hose at the blog.You are so hot.Actually I am cold at my plot.
This is a no put down zone.Why would I want to put anything down and hear you moan?Watch out for the nuts on the road.Who would throw away perfectly good nuts to a toad?
My back is killing me.Can you put it in jail at your sea?It's raining cats and dogs.I don't even see any frogs.
And you can take that to the bank.But I have no money or gas in my tank.Not alive anymore because he kicked the bucket.Buckets are scary, next time I see one I will duck it.
I had a very long day.You exceeded 24 hours at your bay?I think I'm in a bit of a pickle.Being inside a bit of a pickle must tickle.
He just put his foot in his mouth.That has to stunt growth.That guy has a chip on his shoulder.Why doesn't he just eat it or crush it with a boulder?
Good luck, and break a leg.Leave my leg alone I don't want a peg.I can't get through to you so screw this.You are not going to screw me for any bliss.
Oh how language can be taken in so many ways. It can sure leave one in a daze, if they can ever get through the maze. But then taking things literally can be fun as you can pick at many under your sun. That is all today class from my literal little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Another Question Attack At My Shack!

The cat was lying about when he heard a familiar shout. No, it was not Drazin or that dumb Tarsier Man. It was that Beyonder guy who seems to be a question fan. He floated over all holographic like and he would not take a hike. Out the questions started to come as he annoyed my little rhyming bum.

Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?Because riding a horse costs hay.Plus there is a mess to clean up.Now go bug a butt sniffing pup.
Why do they call it a cockpit?Because strippers are a hit.Or maybe they get snip snipped,So their wings don't get clipped.
Why do you get on an airplane?Maybe because people only want to get in when there is rain.Why is the word abbreviation so long?Just to make you spell it wrong.
Why is it called a drive-through if you have to stop?Maybe the stop and go sounds too much like a bunny hop.Why is it an alarm clock is going off when it's turned on?Just to make you confused at dawn.
Why are softballs hard?First cockpits, now softballs, you have some dirty mind at my yard.Why does mineral water that is centuries old go bad next year?Because most of it is not mineral water I fear.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?I guess it just goes to prove even a nobody can be a hit.Why do we scrub down and wash up?You clearly have too much coffee in your cup.
Why do they call it taking a dump, shouldn't it be leaving one?Well Pat takes my dump for a run.Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?I guess it would be so they get less objections.
Why do they call it getting fixed when afterwards it doesn't work anymore?That question deserves an encore.For the cat can attest that after his snip snip,Nothing comes out even when I get a good grip.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?Would you rather him be a pirate with a peg leg?Why do you call it an electrical outlet when you plug things in?I guess calling it an inlet is a sin.
Why is the number two pencil the most popular yet still number two?Because I used number one to stab you.Why don't you give me a direct answer to each question?Maybe because it would upset my digestion.
And with that the hologram question nut sighed and disappeared from my hut. I guess that future guy does not like it when I lie. Or maybe he was offended by the gas that came out my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

What's In A Number? Ponder That While You Slumber!

So dVerse has numerology on the Brian. Hmm that must leave your brain fryin. But no matter how you go about the number you can surely slice it more ways than a cucumber. It all depends on how you look at what you want at your nook.

Numerology is the name.
Numbers is the game.
Could your 1 to 6 bring fame?
Maybe you can match it to a porn voiced dame?

Had to drop that in.
I will never let that one go at my bin.
Would that make that number 50,
Of things I repeat that I find nifty?

But if you are a six in the first part,
You may rip out someone's heart.
If you are three in the third part,
You made get filled with gas and fart.

Oh but you are a five now.
That means you are determined, wow!
Wait! You are really a nine.
That means everything will turn out just fine.

These things are really oh so clever.
Being all vague with their endeavor.
So it can apply to one and all.
As you read the numerology writing on the wall.

It can't hurt to think though.
Well for some the hurt may grow.
Don't strain your brain,
You may go insane.

Mine said I would not be married until after 29.
I was also a creative feline.
I was determined too,
And always see things through.

Oh and that I would succeed,
And not have to make anyone bleed.
It even said there would come a time,
Where I'd be more screwed up than a mime.

And of course I mean that in a physical way.
Oh, bad choice of words today.
Porn, screwed and physical in one rhyme,
I think all I need to add now is a little lime.

See this number thing can be fun.
Let the vagueness flow under your sun.
Maybe you will crack a smile,
Or be able to avoid something vile.

Yeah, can you tell the cat puts about as much stock in numbers as he does magic cucumbers? For with numbers all you have to do is gawk and you can make them go your way with how you talk. And as far as numerology goes being vague lets you count the crows. For anyone can relate it to their life. It doesn't impress the cat that it says Pat will get a wife. I don't want any B&C to come to pass. But I suppose it would lead to plenty more rhymes from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.