Pat Hatt's Blog, page 224

Not To Mention Gets Some Attention!

So it's time to mention that which escapes your attention. Or maybe the correct word is ignore. Either way it is still there at your shore. What would that be? Well just listen a little old me. Or ignore me to. I do it to Pat all the time at our zoo.

So away we go,
Looking for a show.
What do you see?
That person you hate horribly.

Bang! Their dead.
Yippeee you said.
Then comes the mention,
Now forever you watch the soap in detention.

Let's jump from a plane.
Or jump onto a moving train.
Not to mention you might turn flat?
Kinda like Brian the flat cat.

Let's rob a bank,
So we can fill our gas tank.
Not to mention you may get shot.
That could hurt a whole lot.

Let's tell off the boss.
Or strangle them with floss.
One way you get fired.
Another you could get a promotion and hired.

Not to mention never be tired.
Unless of course your bunkmate is sired.
Then there is that fancy car.
Or maybe even the tip jar.

With a little work,
It could lead to quite the perk.
The owner could track you down,
Giving you a hole in the head instead of a crown.

Not to mention you could crash and burn.
At least you could initially fill the urn.
Unless you blew away.
Not to mention that would save some pay.

You could also cross a cat.
You may only get a bat.
Maybe even a brand new scar.
Not to mention we'll track you down no matter how far.

Then you might not take out the trash.
You could then see your life flash,
Right before your eyes.
Did I forget to mention pissing off the wife isn't wise?

How's that for a mention? Did it keep your attention? No, need to mention it. I know I'm always a hit. I just sit here and give lots of sass. Not to mention I'm a little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Another Stroll Through The Roll!

So the last time this was done was many moons ago under my sun, many have come and gone. Now let's see where it goes with the titles from all of you in the blogroll at my lawn.

Wordless Wednesday - Bee
Don't let it sting me.
A look into video games: Hardlight Shield
The light is so bright but I will never yield.

Lightning Speed and Lethal
I hope it has nothing to do with the word fecal.
A streaker in the library: Memory Monday
That must've been an interesting display.

StacheTATS
Do they make those for cats?
Half?
At least you aren't a grocery store calf.

Giveaway
Do I have to give something away at my bay?
Bean Dip
That must make you go on a farting trip.

Opt to Adopt
Can't be topped.
Coming Up For Air
I guess that bean dip really isn't rare.

Happenings in my world this week
Well I never saw anyone streak.
What the Dickens?
Are you mad at chickens?

SBB: Bama Bride
You may have confused all with that title, take pride.
just landed or //how we coNNect across galaxies sometimes
You still have not given me your time travel device, what crimes.

How to cure a cold
Don't let germs take hold.
Sunday Afternoon Drive
With all that smog you made it out alive.

It's all about the sunshine
I agree, no snow is divine.
Tuesday's Tummy, Toes and Tail
If humans do that it'll be fail.

Make A Faux Stone Look Table From Torn Wall Paper
Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon caper.
migaloo, on 4th street
That type of igloo can't be beat.

Treasures
Send me some gold for pleasures?
Three Tweets of Love
I hope nothing falls from above.

Dark chocolate Bombe shells
I bet that gives off quite the smells.
Step Right Up!
Are you confusing me with a pup?

Oh the ammo you give to me without even knowing it at your sea. Put a title up and you never know when at my place it will show. For today many are shown in mass. So fun to do by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Lost In The Lights? Here Are Your Rights!

This day and age all seem to have more rights than what they tell you before they put you in a cage. At least on the outside looking in or some other view at one's bin. Sorry there creepers, I still don't think you have the right to be peepers.

We are at the age,
Where you have the right to road rage.
Honk your horn, flip them off,
Then wish they were never born and continue to scoff.

Have the right to be a grocery nazi.
That is really something to see.
As women bicker over the last item on sale.
Ripping it from each others hands and giving a wail.

You have the right,
To barricade your site.
And even wear a tinfoil hat.
In case of an alien brat.

Speaking of which,
You have the right to do nothing but twitch.
Never say no to a child,
Just letting them go run wild.

You have the right to just give up,
Any long standing cat or pup.
Because poor little old you,
Just don't have time at your zoo.

You have the right to pick your nose.
While we all know how that goes.
Brian can squash all flat.
He just uses his tongue for that.

You have the right to be a fluoride head.
Can you digest what I just said?
See, these things happen when you are spoon fed.
Maybe you are even seeing red.

There is also the right,
To not do out of spite.
Even if it is better for you,
Give them the big screw you.

Also the right to your own show.
Where your face can glow.
You can show the world your shine.
Even tell how you like to hump a bovine.

Rights are confusing.
But oh so amusing.
Now I am done abusing.
You have to right to go cruising.

I think I like the others ones better though. They are easier to remember and say in one go. Although that silent part doesn't work for me. I always like to have my say at my sea. Sure plenty more rights could come to pass from my righting each wrong little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Warning For You As You View!

So as you watch every TV show once in a while a warning will show. Viewer discretion could be advised to you. But some things they never warn you about when you view.

 
Warning! You may think all Canadians are polite,When this show comes in sight.You may also think that deaf dogs can hear.I know it confuses my little rhyming rear.

Warning! After watching this show,
You may think humans never go.
Also they never eat or sleep.
I suppose it would be less money to spend at ones keep.
 
Warning! After watching Lost,You may end up lost at some cost.Especially after wasting so much time,Only to find an ending that is a crime.

Warning! If you were to watch Monk,
You may end up in a funk.
Learning about all the germs,
They are worse than worms.

Warning! After going through the gate,
You may think that death is not a fate.
Because they die so many times,
Yet come back from such crimes.

Warning! Everything and anything can work for this.
For all they do is want bliss.
They even talk about Jupiter's thingy.
I will give you a clue it's not a rubber dingy.

Warning! You may see zombie feet.
I know that is such a treat.
But to some it may not be.
They can even hang from a tree.
 
Warning! You'll end up in a hospital room,That sure will bring doom and gloom.As every single episode there they are.But then they walk away without even a scar.
 
Warning! You may never need a rubber.That will be great for a clubber.Or you could be all ears.Those things can sure clog up gears.

Warning! The imagination may not be at play,
When you watch this at your bay.
For much can be seen.
Isn't spandex so serene?
So if you are ever to see these on TV now thankfully you have been warned by me. My warnings are so much more creative to. Are you glad the cat stopped to help you? And one of them talks really crass. But they warn you of that so there is no need for such a warning from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Insecure What? Not This Nut!

So the cat thought he would take a stab at this today. But unlike Old One Eye he has nothing to whine about at his bay. So we will go a different way, come what may.



Insecure? What is that?
It is a mystery to the cat.
Insecurity means your beat.
That little voice can't take the heat.

So take up a seat.
For it is easy to defeat.
No one likes me boo hoo,
What am I to do?

Like what you do first.
Then their bubble will burst.
If the bubble is still there and they don't get a rise.
They will ignore you and avert their eyes.

Plus you can please up the wazoo.
But that will never help you.
The worst thing ever,
Some will still find clever.

And the best thing to come to pass,
Some will still find it crass.
Opinions are like assholes they say.
Mine is more a rhyming ass at my bay.

Is the effort worth it?
Depends on why at your desk you sit.
Finding it hard to get through a single page.
Then no, it probably isn't worth the rage.

Enjoy doing it at your sea.
Then go ahead and kill a tree.
Will my dreams come true?
Maybe at your zoo.

But if you want a billion dollar deal,
Better off spinning a roulette wheel.
Just stepping forth opens up much.
You'd be surprised who reaches out to touch.

Things may go a different way.
But you may find that is more than okay.
What if people hate me?
Back on this, poor poor pitiful thee.

The moment you care what the masses think,
In the quicksand you begin to sink.
The cat will be here whether they boo or cheer,
For he likes being a little rhyming rear.

So how was that ninja wannabe? Good enough advice for the insecure and thee? Not that one can stop the cat. He will say what he wants to stay at his mat. PC and TMI be damned at my grass, from my not so insecure little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all the summer.

A dVerse Pair No Longer At My Lair!

So the other day here at the cat's bay, we stared out the window as we heard the sky give a mighty blow. It was that thunder crap that ruined our nap. But the stuff was dVerse and could have been worse. There was no lightning or rain to be had. I guess they had nothing to add.

Thunder all alone,
To give its tone.
What is next to come?
A bottle with no rum?

A car with no engine in it?
A dog that doesn't eat umm spit?
A fridge with no door?
A TV with no screen at your shore?

A fan with no blades?
Sun glasses with no shades?
A bed with no cushion,
To help with the umm pushin?

A fire alarm with no alarm?
A murderer that does no harm?
Well that would be fine.
They'd have brain enough not to cross the line.

A light switch with no switch?
A flea whose bites don't itch?
A game with no game?
That would be kinda lame.

A basket with no handle?
A flame without the candle?
An airplane that can't fly?
The dead die but don't die?

A phone with no signal anywhere?
dVerse without a gawker blare?
Music with no sound?
A lawn with no ground?

A grocery store with no food?
Most in there is just rude.
For sale with no price tag?
That might make big wigs gag.

A sneeze with no achoo?
No tp in the loo?
A chair with no legs?
Square holes with no round pegs?

A book with no words.
Or pictures of pretty birds?
All because of thunder,
And its no rain or lightning blunder.

See what a bad precedent thunder and mother nature can set? They aren't fooling this pet. I won't let such things come to pass. Dogs becoming refined does not sit well with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Stuck! What The Duck?

What the heck is this? Where is the rhyming bliss? Pat is at it again. I hate when he goes off course at our den. He then makes me show this stuff. Well I'm going to moon him for such fluff.

Stuck you say,
There at your bay?
Was it the superglue,
Or something more ewww?

Maybe some duct tape?
Grabbed by an ape?
Superman's cape?
Ate a bad grape?

That could make Betsy mad.
If it was one with a face looking glad.
She has a thing for face food.
Eat one and she may give attitude.

Stuck and out of luck.
I just say what the duck.
Go hop a truck.
But don't get covered in muck.

That would not be good for my OCD.
Okay, okay, I'll let them see.
Pat is such a pain in the rump.
I hope a dog gives his leg a hump.

Scratch that,
It may smell the cat.
Now on with the non rhyming show.
But there is one there just so you know.

So what do you think of that? I know, not as good as the cat. But Pat tried to stretch his skill and the cat thinks he went way off course at our hill. Although I will admit a nice tune came to pass. Yet nowhere near as good as the one featuring my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Little Dirty And Flirty

So dVerse wants us to go all slogan today at our bay. What can I say? These things are kinda dirty with their display. Or maybe my mind is in the gutter. Either way, your heart may flutter.

Whether you stand or sit,
Just do it.
Try not to be fast.
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.

There will be no sorrow,
When there is no tomorrow.
And for your flute,
There is no substitute.

Much could give birth.
The happiest place on earth.
Adding to your range,
For the men in charge of change.

Or you could be like rover,
Pleasing people the world over.
And prove as your flirt,
Stronger than dirt.

Come, don't be coy.
Pleasure is the path to joy.
And forget the pillow talking,
Let your fingers do the walking.

Just strut your stuff,
Because life is complicated enough.
May not be for one with a wife.
Share moments. Share life.

You may hear if really fit,
I'm lovin it.
Then you could have many a guest,
When you care enough to send the very best.

But watch the goalie in your endeavor.
A diamond is forever.
Just wait for that smile.
Quality never goes out of style.

Forget the mesh,
Eat fresh.
And never ever stop.
Good to the last drop.

It must be a lofty goal.
Power, beauty, and soul.
And best of all at your bay,
Have it your way.

Could also be a hit.
Buy it. Sell it. Love it.
But don't wait and pout.
Get N or get out.

In case you misunderstood.
Finger lickin' good.
Just remember the best showing,
Keeps going and going and going.

Damn, the cat stayed in the gutter the whole time and the slogans were real he gave a chime. Such dirty advertisers out there. I will just stick to my lair. For the one that always come to pass is simply my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Musical Day At My Bay!

It is always fun to take a look and have some musical fun at my nook. So with each and every title the cat could not sit and be idle.

So you were Thunderstruck?
My, you must have such luck.
I didn't even know thunder could strike.
Did it happen on a hike?

Did Jeremiah the bullfrog tell you that?
Bullfrogs can talk, just like the cat.
I hope Johnny can B Good.
It beats being bad in one's hood.

Why Should I Worry you ask?
Maybe it's because you're drunk with a flask.
Saying see you later alligator.
Are you just a gator hater?

Would you Get Off My Back?
How did you really get on it at my shack?
Don't worry, you've got a friend in me.
Can I reach in and yank it out of thee?

Gimme Three Steps to get away.
Can they be big steps at my bay?
It's the End of the World you say?
How are you able of it ended the other day?

You are an American Idiot you say?
Aren't there lots of those at the US bay?
It's a Hand Me Down World?
So that is where that stuff came from when I hurled.

So there are Cats in the Cradle?
Are you going to hit us with a ladle?
Next up is Tiny Teddy.
If he is that tiny and you can see him he must be quite heady.

Now It's Hip To Be Square?
I guess it is not hip to have a circle affair.
Great Balls of Fire.
Don't play with them or things could get dire.

While all are Rocking All Over The World once more.
Those rocking chairs must cost a ton to take to each shore.
Never fear, I Won't Back Down.
Not even if being attacked by a Devil Town?

You want to Keep Me In Your Heart?
I would rather not go into that part.
I still Can't Stop Rocking.
My, those rocking chairs are sure a knocking.

Did any songs get stuck in your head? Yes, you can sing them all the way to bed. That could be quite a while and then they may become vile. Fun to do titles in mass and go all literal with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Jingle To Make You Tingle

It seems as always the stores are ready for the holidays. All the catalogs and even some sites have such displays. So why not join in with the rest. But I bet I'll do it the best.

The sun is shining, the day is bright.
Well your dining at the table tonight.
Thoughts of reindeer go through your head.
Christmas will soon be here, that's what I said.

Those toes in the sand all nice and tanned.
Will soon need a helping hand and be canned.
Wrapped up in boots and all kinds of socks.
While Deck the Halls kids play on flutes to no shocks.

You'll still be all nice and warm at your place,
As around you a snowstorm begins to race.
But instead of sweating from the heat each day.
You will be wrapped from head to feet at your bay.

Unless of course you shove the heat up so very high.
Then you can sit and love as the sweat continues to fly.
Oh me oh me oh me oh my,
It is the guttter I see under my sky.

But I never intended to go there at all,
Warming up in the cold at your lair is better to have ball.
But at least you won't have to mow the grass or tend to the weeds.
Instead of grab a shovel to get rid of that white mass because of your needs.

Boy, doesn't that make you want to grab a gift and wrap it up.
But hey, you make the spirits lift of your favorite butt sniffing pup.
As he tears it open early and puts all that work down the drain.
You will threaten to give him a swirly and send him down the lane.

Already are you ready to pop a vein in your pretty little head.
Don't get a kink as your neck begins to strain in bed.
I do not think you will see Santa this year, oh the dread.
For I hear his jolly old fat rear, is going to be held up in Club Med.

At least mommy won't do any extracurricular kissing on that night.
But you may find her missing as to Club Med she takes flight.
Then you track her down with your trusty gun.
You swear to make Santa frown and end his Club Med fun.

You go to jail and become known as the santa slayer.
Christmas is now a fail thanks to your added extra layer.
The kiddies cry at every corner of the street.
Even little Jack Horner and his Christmas pie will be beat.

All of that from thinking of Christmas instead of the sun and beach.
Going for something that will have its run but is still out of reach.
Or maybe it's just my crazy mind and some of the stuff that I find.
When I go for a stroll of some kind and turn into crazy rhyming behind.

 And an early present for you,Thanks to Betsy's to fetish at her zoo.I may not have a green thumb,But at least I have a green toe and then some.
Now aren't I not better than some Christmas sale that in August begins to set sail? Of course if you're the Santa slayer it may not matter. But at least you can gloat that you saved Santa from getting fatter. He may not get down the chimney if he has to much more mass. So now go to the giant litter box and thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.