Pat Hatt's Blog, page 221

A dVerse ABC At My Sea!

Haven't gone the ABC's of Rhyme Time mile in quite some while. It is rather dVerse as well. So I figured what the hell. This one is for work which can so no be a perk.

A is for amount, the big time suck.
But if you can't count, maybe you are in luck.
B is for boss, who gets on your ass.
Unless roles you toss and latch on to their mass.

C is for cat, who you left at home.
At your mat, you'll never know where we roam.
D is for dog, I guess I'll go there.
Might find a log if you work late at your lair.

E for energy, away it will flow.
What started with synergy will no longer glow.
F is for frig, as you can't go for the gold.
Unless in a big rig, then more than frig is told.

G is for gold, that you wish to find.
But none takes hold to your widening behind.
H is for hell, what could be worse?
Where you dwell you can't even curse.

I is for idiot, as there are a few.
From a Canadian to a Cypriot all will come in view.
J is for junk, you'll get it all.
Out comes a trunk burying you behind a wall.

K is for kibble, what you can afford.
Each day take a nibble thinking about pulling the cord.
L is for lazy, so many of those.
Their sight is hazy as they strike a pose.

M is for mutter, which each day you do.
With even more clutter you wish to flush down the loo.
N is for nag, those you will  forever find.
Like some old hag who screws up and wants to hit rewind.

O is for old as the job ages.
Quicker than mold away go your wages.
P is for prattle, there is always one.
Who just has to tattle, I hope they choke on a bun.

Q is for queen, giving the wave.
Think they are so serene coming from their cave.
R is for rank, which you have none.
Won't laugh to the bank, walk or run.

S is for shit, which you seem to take.
Bit by bit, you fantasize about drowning them in a lake.
T is for trouble, which falls on you.
When down comes the rubble you wind up in the loo.

U is for utility, those stupid programs.
Which have no ability and are slower than traffic jams.
V is for vixen, that little show off.
When the higher ups are mix in they give a cough.

W is for week, which drags on by.
No wonder the meek believe the lie.
X  is for xing, as one more than nine,
At least at my wing makes me a thankful feline.

Y is for yes, what they always want to hear.
But just confess, you'd like to shove a pencil in their ear.
Z is for zip, which is now gone.
Here is one tip, don't buy into the work con.

Each and every way here today. Now that was fun and had to be done. Money is a perk, about that is the only thing of work. Now I am done with my work sass with my always working little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Little Hate At My Gate!

Newsflash: Make a dash, you won't get a rash, as the cat is interviewed on the A to Z blog today so you can skip reruns of MASH.

So as we all know from the countless times the cat has gone on at his show, word verification he surely hates. I would rather watch dogs clean dinner plates. Then there is another that is a pain in the rump. On which, I'd like to take a big dump.

Hopping about,
In and out.
Up and down,
Forget dirty town.

But it is gutter.
Not in a stutter.
Just in a way.
That there it should lay.

Commenting along,
Humming a song.
Then all goes wrong.
Can't hit ding dong.

Stay clear of the gutter.
For now you just mutter.
Sputter and spit.
What is this shit?

Disquis you rule.
You are so cool.
Loved by this fool.
Go drown in a pool.

Google + you suck.
Get hit by a truck.
Tire marks galore.
Flat as the floor.

Now I am bitter.
Sign up through Twitter?
I don't want to tweet.
Go eat zombie feet.

Welcome, embrace my nook,
Sign in through Facebook.
Rather blow it up with a nuke,
Take that you mook.

Give me a ring.
It won't sting.
Here at my wing,
I use this, that and the other thing.

Stick to what works.
Forget the perks.
Name and link.
Or end up in the comment clink.

I just had to get that off my chest, sending it out east to west. Also just to let some know why many comments may not show. If you use such crap, may want to consider making it take a dirt nap. It just gives me gas which is not good for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Pumpkins Abound As They Sprout From The Ground!

So dVerse wants the cat to carve something out. What is that about? It is just too messy at my bay. I would not have a very nice day. Maybe I will just pitch them in Brian's yard. Hey, I'd leave a smiley face card.

My pumpkin has an issue,
It may need at tissue.
Wait! Scratch that.
Give it a diaper, dingbat.

For it was found,
In such pretty ground.
Where the pesticides roam.
Antibiotic filled cows foam.

EMF runs right below,
GMO grows in a row.
Where fumes fill the air,
And no one seems to care.

My pumpkin has no need,
To produce any new seed.
Its guts already bleed,
Knowing nothing of greed.

It's watered every day,
So it can join the fray.
Fluoride heads are great,
So dumb they can relate.

My pumpkin droops,
Eyes like fruit loops.
Still able to see,
That poison is free,

Minus the will,
When you see the bill.
Free is still grand,
Stuck below the sand.

My pumpkin rots,
With the have nots.
Needing a pill,
From a free ill.

Pushed to the brink,
Deeper in the drink,
Unable to think,
Refusing to blink.

My pumpkin knows,
Many new lows,
Tied in pretty bows,
To make believe it glows.

My pumpkin is sure a sad sack. Bet it soon has a heart attack. There is an issue for dVerse and it was not even perverse. I guess next time I will let that come to pass with my head above ground little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sixteen Brings Some Love. Be Sure And Wear A Glove!

Here we go again with some more crazies that come by my den. They just keep on coming so the cat lets you all see their humming. Why should I be the only one to suffer such a fate? Maybe with some you can relate?

"animal friendship between different s"

What do you think the last word will be? I bet it isn't see.

"rxea name meaning"

I say it means you are in need of a screening or good detox cleaning.

'kill the easter bunny\"

Do you think that slash will help you? Or is that a secret message to the Easter Bunny crew?

"stop touching signs"

No! I will touch signs high and low. I will touch them and in the dark they will glow.

"that fart was so nasty i could smell it for a week later"

And you are telling this to an alligator? How did you end up in my crater?

"Nude hags on the beach"

My, aren't you a peach. I bet you wish they were in reach.

"Weiner with a coating"

Hmmm are you trying to make it slick? You might want to try some spotted dick.

"Spotted dick"

See, what did I tell you? This guy has some at his zoo.

"One eyed creatures that could be real"

Elsie is the star today, I guess old one eye will have to come out and play.

"time never lets me have any fun and it keeps"

It keeps what? Ticking at your hut?

And finally the winner for today sure had a lot to say. They deserve a trophy at their sea. But they won't be getting one from me. Instead they will be here for all to view. Do you think they have a clue?

rubbing two balls make iron and has a hard cast

I bet with the rubbing they had a blast. But if they put iron on them they are probably a thing of the past. Why anyone types such things in mass, is sure unknown to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Confession From The Big Baby Profession!

How can it be that the most pay goes to the baby? At least if you're the biggest baby of all there at the movie hall. Cry me a river has a whole new meaning when you get a movie that is screening.

Look at me sit in my chair.
I am a human that is so rare.
I have a full head of hair.
And if not, I have a wig to wear.

I sit and suck my thumb all day.
Stopping for a moment or two to have my say.
Wait! The words are not even mine.
I just have to memorize the line.

And if that is too tough for little old me.
I'll just get some cue cards big enough to see.
Then I go back to my fancy chair.
There I will give an evil glare.

It will indicate things will soon head south.
So please me as I stick my thumb in my mouth.
You must read my mind to,
Or I will cry, boo hoo.

Don't be rude,
Get me my food.
I want to have a drink,
Something from the Alps and not a sink.

I don't want to pick out my clothes.
I'm too great to even pick my nose.
So both will be done by you,
Unless you want me to boo hoo.

You may as well bath me while you're at it.
But you have to do it where I sit.
I'll take a shave as well.
Do it now or I'll cause hell.

I'll stomp into my little trailer,
Crying like a drunken sailor.
Oops I meant a newborn baby.
I don't want to hear no or maybe.

Just say yes and get it done.
Do not walk, you better run.
I don't care if you're a nun.
I want you to get it done.

Making me repeat myself is not wise.
For I will let loose my wailing cries.
After all I am such a great actor.
I put to shame those people on Fear Factor.

Call the cat crazy but to be so lazy that you can't even get your own damn drink, you are nothing but a fink. I bet they think their crap don't stink. Probably a better class in the clink. I'm done looking at that so called class, with my crazy but never lazy, little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Glitch Of A Witch Part Eleven. Are We In Heaven?

Finally we got back to this tale of lore, where Betsy become a weird half human half zombie crazy person that can roar. Workqueendan is the size of Timbuktu, and keeps growing, yes, his man boobies do to. Thinkingcap still has her ass complexion as well, meaning she is a donkey, and all was not swell. For we all jumped into the fires of hell. It took us a while to regain some composure, so this story we could continue to tell. So for those not in the know and those that are new, just know this is just going to get crazier at my zoo.

"Drazin knew this was a bad idea. Drazin should never have listened to the Irish."

Drazin glared at Anne who still had the dead blue old one eye draped over her shoulder, hoping to bring her back to life and not be stiff as a boulder. Pat was back to being insane, going down the crazy lane.

"Shut thy mouth, demon."

Yes, he thought he was King Arthur again. I don't know how we put up with him at our den. We were just glad we escaped the battle and weren't like Glory Dear and Brian, basically zombie cattle. And poor crazy Waffles getting choked to death by vine. Glad it did not happen to this feline. And of course there were those two, who we thought were dead but they were back in view.

"Hey Bryan, what do you call a cat that can float?"

"A cat that can float"

"Nope, a flea plane"

The beer guys were floating through the air without a care. They have been here longer than us. Anne of course started the cuss.

"What do you call two guys with no brains?"

"She stumped me, Brandon."

"Bloody wankers."

"Bryan, did you put your wanker some place you shouldn't have?"

"Drazin has had enough of this. Drazin is getting out of here."

"For once I'm with the godly mook."

Cassie and Drazen trotted off, as Anne continue to scoff. Pat and I decided to follow those two. Of course that is when we all began to float and not have a clue. In this space like new place, we all floated all over the place.

"What kind of magic is this, demon?"

Pat tried to swat Drazin with his fake sword, for crazy he really gets the award. Cassie and I had another plan. One of which Anne actually seem to be a fan. We went over to the floating beer guys and made them send out cries. Now they just may have a bloody wanker. They then pointed to some far off land mass that had a building that looked like what would house a banker.

"Go there and you will get the answers."

"Bryan, do you think he stretched it and made it bigger?"

As those two continued to discuss unimportant things, the five of us flew towards the building like we had wings. Drazin was saying his name the whole time and Pat was happy there was no grime. Anne still clung to old dead blue one eye. She just would not accept old one eye had to die.

"Why don't you drop that Cyclops, Drazin does not want to smell her did stink."

Anne's retort was rather crass so on that one I will take a pass. When we hit the landmass, gravity once more came to pass. We all floated back down to the ground and out came some three headed hound. Cerberus it was not. I think it suffered from dry rot.

"Rosey, aren't we supposed to eat cats?"

"Yes, Theresa. Lets have him as a snack."

"No! You guys, eating cats gives you worms."

"Why do things like this always find Drazin?"

We all rolled our eyes, hoping to find someone wise. But all we found was a three headed mutt, that was too busy yapping to itself to even sniff a butt. Terry, Theresa and Rosey all yapped away. I think I would take the beer guys any day.

"So why are you here? What brings you near?"

"Rosey, that was a great rhyme. Can you do it all the time?"

"Terry, that was not a good one. So easy to give a run."

And now they started rhyming to. This mutt really belonged in a zoo. After another five minutes of yapping, Anne began flapping.

"Listen you eejits. We want out of here. We want back home and I want my friend healed."

"I'm sorry to you all but you are now stuck at our hall. You see this is death and there is no way out. It is okay to scream and shout."

They raised an eyebrow, yes each head raised one somehow, as we all just stood there not believing a word they said at their lair. We had been told that a time or ten already. They then stared at the dead blue old one eye, kinda steady.

"But we can fix her and make her purr."

Rosey nodded to each other head and then made good on what she said. She snatched old one eye from Anne's shoulder and swallowed her whole without even letting her smolder.

"You you..."

Anne fell to the ground, wanting to be done with the three headed hound. But realizing she lost her friend, until the three heads concentrated and hit send. Then from there butt out came old one eye as good as new without even a cut.

"Annnnnnnnnnnneeee. Did I just come out of an ass?"

"Well you don't see that everyday."

"Sorcery. Rebirth through a three headed ass."

"Drazin thinks Drazin is going to puke now."

Drazin watched on while Anne hugged old one eye and both began to cry. I admit my ears could not even take that. So Cassie and I took cover behind Pat.

"So how does Drazin get the hell out of here? And don't tell Drazin there is no way or Drazin will behead you three times."

"The demon speaks the truth. Reveal the way or suffer."

Drazin and Pat stood before the three headed mutt. They were both ready to kick its butt.

"Rosey, do you think we should tell. They might not find it swell?"

"Terry, I think we should let them go to town. I bet they come back here with a frown."

"Allow me the privilege girls. I fluff their curls."

We had no idea what the head called Theresa meant. But before either Drazin or Pat could vent. The four of us get sucked up into the sky, and all we heard was old one eye cry.

"Annnnnnnnnnnneeeeee, they are leaving us here."

"Get back here you eejits."

"Don't worry, us girls can stick together and tell stories, swap tales, talk about boys and other joys."

"Besides they will die there. Now Anne, don't swear."

"Hey Brandon, what do you call a rebirth from an ass?"

"Something crass?"

"Nope, Ass-inated"

The three headed mutt grabbed Anne and old one eye in their mouth and trotted off south. They screamed all the way, Anne with such a foul display and old one eye was just plain whiny. They squeezed into the weird banker building door which was rather tiny.

"Where are we now?"

Cassie muttered as we tried to find a way. But what we saw was another rather gruesome display.

"Well Drazin will even take this over watching that cyclops be rebirthed from a three headed mutt."

"I''m with you, demon. And Excalibur is ready."

Pat stuck out his arm and I didn't think it was going to do any harm, as it grew closer and closer. Why could I not still be home and just be a mouser?

***************************************

So there we go. Once more going all Glitch of a Witch at my show. Did you ever think together Rosey, Theresa and Terry had such power? Other three headed dogs should really cower. At least old one eye is alive. I hope with lots of therapy her rebirth she can survive. What is awaiting us now? I can tell you it is not a three headed cow. And so another part has come to pass. I'm sure many more will come from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

They Are Back And Causing More Flack!

Here they are once more. These nuts always show up at my shore. Don't they have anything better to do at their zoo? Like fluff their weird looking hairdo.


Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What do you get when you sit around
Growing and growing all the more round
Refusing to do any exercise
Thinking you are so very wise
You get a, you get a, heart attack
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-da
Get off your butt and you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-doo

Well I can't say I disagree but they now can leave me be. Go eat some candy or something and flee from my wing. I guess not. They must suffer from brain rot.

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo
I've got another perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What do you get from trying to please
From the neighbor to your cat's fleas
Nothing but a waste of your time
Then they tell you to suck a lime
Leaving you holding the, holding the bag.
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da
Do for you and you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-do

Do you really need to tell this? I knew this as it brings me bliss. I can easily flip them the bird if they are absurd. Or give them a dead one. That is also fun. Not gone yet? You are annoying this rhyming pet.

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo
I've got another perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What do you get when you think all day
Turning and turning refusing to hit play
Nothing but grief and a headache
Refusing to write or even partake
Making you, making you, your own worst enemy.
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da
Stop thinking so much and you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-do

Don't think just write, what a concept at my site. Is that all you have today? Why don't you just go the heck away?

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo
I've got another perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
Stuck in a rut with nowhere to go
You possess the know how but refuse to glow
Thinking it will never be enough
Trying to do the same old stuff
Making you, making you, a copy cat.
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da
Branch out more and you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-do Now are you done? Good, away they did run. Are you less or more insecure now? Did the oompa loompa's make you have a cow? Never fear they are gone to grass. But I'm sure they'll be back one day to annoy my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

A dVerse Narration At My Station!

So it is getting the time of year when everyone likes to strike fear. So the TV will show movies not so dVerse, many of which are rather perverse. But they all have one thing in common at least, which is the nature of the horror beast.

Look it's a scary movie.
This thing has to be groovy.
Let's sit and watch.
I bet this one they don't botch.

This will different than the last ten,
That we watched at our den.
You just wait and see.
It will be sure to surprise thee.

See what I'm talking about?
The teenagers do a twist and shout.
Humpty humping all over,
That would make one a jealous rover.

They sit and stare instead of run,
Then they scream when they are done.
Instead of running on first sight.
Plus look, they even turn off the light.

They all think they are so cool.
Then they wet their pants, oops I mean drool.
Watch as they run and they trip.
Then on their back they do a flip.

Instead of getting back to their feet.
They lie there screaming in defeat.
They don't even move at the sight,
Of the weapon that is a fright.

Not one single solitary inch.
Like they lost the ability to flinch.
But that is okay because their mate,
Got away to go on another date.

Then another humpty hump comes due.
Actually more than a few.
They even forget to lock the door.
Also a window is open at their shore.

A big target is now on their back.
Sit and wait as the psycho goes on the attack.
Look he stabs them in the middle,
As they play hey diddle diddle.

Plus they are all good and drunk.
Never looking in the backseat or the trunk.
Wait! Damn it, this is the same,
All these movies just have a screaming dame.

There you go, I just saved you lots of time at your show. Now you know how it will flow. You can find them all up in a row. The same rules apply to each lad and lass. Not so scary to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Two Light Hearted Fools Have Laundry Nazi Duels!

After Just Keepin It Real, Folks had at it, revealing she was in aw of looking at people with a zit, she sure had to be the next feature on the way, as we journey to the Bora Bora bay.

Aliens hold nothing on her,
With her love of things that would make ones eyes blur.
Knows squirrels taste like chicken too.
But that is known by a few.

But worst of all,
Such a laundry nazi at her hall.
Has to be done on this day.
Or things could go astray.

Not to mention her candy crush,
And the fact she doesn't flush.
That had to all factor in,
As we go on another video run at my bin.

I think the disco dancing fool,
Better pull up a stool.
For the duel,
The the cows find cool.

What am I going on about?
Now now don't pout.
Just click play,
And all will be revealed at my bay.


See wasn't that a load of bull? Of some bull that was full. She sure took the bull by the horns. I hope she didn't perform acts with ears of corns. Pat is quit a bully too. But she did try and shoot him upon view. Redneck with a gun. See that and you better run. Or bring forth power in mass then they will no longer bother my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Moon Above Causes Polar Bear Love?

So dVerse has artwork on display from Catrin's bay. The cat just had to give them a go. Such a great artwork show. Polar bears are even getting freaky. How's that for cheeky?


So it started when some loon,Tried to decorate the moon.Little did she know.That the wind would blow.
So down she fell.The landing wasn't swell.Because she only got half the moon,Things started to get freaky by noon.
 
Houses started to fly.They went right up into the sky.Sadly it did not take.They crashed and caused an earthquake.
But don't worry about the guy.He continued to fly. I hear he's now a spy,A peeping tom in the sky.
 
The dandelion seeds were upset.They began to fret.Then joined as one,Flying towards the sun.
They wanted to be warm,Or pretend to be a snow storm.They even stole a guys top hat.Vegetation thieves, how rude is that?
 
Then the fish grew,So large they could eat you.Won't have to worry about mercury,From eating fish in the sea.
They will just eat thee.Then you will cease to be.Becoming fish crap.That poor chap.
 
But it wasn't bad for hall.This guy was on the ball.He needed to get across the sea,And wanted to do it for free.
So he hitched a ride.Made it with such pride.The fish was not impressed.He found it hard to digest.
 
And then there were the freaky,Who let polar bears get cheeky,As in grab their butt.They were worse than a mutt.
They got all feely too.At least he's got a good view.And this all happened because some fool,Thought decorating the moon was cool.
There you go all of them used from the dVerse show. You can't stop the cat no matter what at my mat. Fur on skin, still think rednecks will consider that a win. Sorry Grace, had to use your embrace. So never again let decorating the moon come to pass or you may turn me into a gigantic little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.