Pat Hatt's Blog, page 229
July 20, 2013
Sucking More Dough From Your Show!
So this is probably old news by the time it comes but it still deserves a few hums. For even if the cat is so far ahead he will still rant about such dread. As video games are heading down the crapper I will be a little yapper.
So come the next generation games,Sharing was going to go up in flames.For a friend could not play your game,Unless you follow all kinds of rules that are lame.
No longer could you just give one.
Instead they had to get their own under their sun.
Nothing but greed.
Thankfully people made them change their tune at their feed.
Either way they are as lame as can be.But we will forget about that for now at my sea.For let's suppose one day this really catches on,Things would really go to shit at your lawn.
For say you buy some chips,That are likely to widen those hips.Sharing them with another,Whether friend or brother,
Will be against the law.You are the only one allowed to gnaw.But first will come music for this,Meaning you will be the only one able to listen to such bliss.
For only your player will play it.So no trading CDs or songs of any kind at your pit.That includes the digital stuff,And all they will say is tough.
Oh wait they won't just say that,They will allow it if you pay a fee at your mat.So not only do you have to buy the thing,Plus whatever to play it and let it sing,
But now you have to pay more to share.And next up will be movies at your lair.Because God only knows they don't make enough money already, With billions of dollars coming in steady.
Now they want to suck another dime,Because you giving a DVD to a friend is a crime.They will get you in every way,From chips to whatever you want to play.
All they have to do,Is put a little code into whatever you use at your zoo,And welcome to one step closer to 1984.Aren't you ready to take the tour?
The sad part is this is not far from the truth for if they one ever gets away with it at their booth, it won't be long before everybody tries to screw you over in every way, all for a little more pay. Everything from clothes to light bulbs to ketchup, oh my. Don't you just love the greed cry? Hopefully it will never come to pass as it surely would not impress my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
So come the next generation games,Sharing was going to go up in flames.For a friend could not play your game,Unless you follow all kinds of rules that are lame.
No longer could you just give one.
Instead they had to get their own under their sun.
Nothing but greed.
Thankfully people made them change their tune at their feed.
Either way they are as lame as can be.But we will forget about that for now at my sea.For let's suppose one day this really catches on,Things would really go to shit at your lawn.
For say you buy some chips,That are likely to widen those hips.Sharing them with another,Whether friend or brother,
Will be against the law.You are the only one allowed to gnaw.But first will come music for this,Meaning you will be the only one able to listen to such bliss.
For only your player will play it.So no trading CDs or songs of any kind at your pit.That includes the digital stuff,And all they will say is tough.
Oh wait they won't just say that,They will allow it if you pay a fee at your mat.So not only do you have to buy the thing,Plus whatever to play it and let it sing,
But now you have to pay more to share.And next up will be movies at your lair.Because God only knows they don't make enough money already, With billions of dollars coming in steady.
Now they want to suck another dime,Because you giving a DVD to a friend is a crime.They will get you in every way,From chips to whatever you want to play.
All they have to do,Is put a little code into whatever you use at your zoo,And welcome to one step closer to 1984.Aren't you ready to take the tour?
The sad part is this is not far from the truth for if they one ever gets away with it at their booth, it won't be long before everybody tries to screw you over in every way, all for a little more pay. Everything from clothes to light bulbs to ketchup, oh my. Don't you just love the greed cry? Hopefully it will never come to pass as it surely would not impress my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 19, 2013
The True Story No Matter How Gory!
So over at Trudessa's sea, she included little old me, in a story that showed the cat and even Pat off in all their glory. The blue guy was in it too, but sadly she was too nice to grumpy goo. She sugar coated his part not wanting to break his grumpy heart. The cat has no problem doing that. So he will show you the true story of Grumpy Goo at his mat.
And when I say show,
I mean very much so.
For doing videos for John, HGW and others at their sea,
Made me think it was about time I did one for me.
What better way,
To give you the true story today.
Then to have a little show and tell.
Grumpy Goo sure went through hell.
But what can you expect from a blue guy,
Who continues to lie.
First Bora Bora was a no go,
Now he's talking mutiny at his show.
So he brought on his own fate.
Now he is shark bate.
A fate I'd hate,
Rather have shark on my plate.
So enjoy the true story,
In all its glory.
I never hold back the truth,
Here at my booth.
Was that not fitting for Grumpy Goo? Trudessa talks like a porn star, who knew? The cat suddenly looks more feminine too. I wonder how a litter could even come due? And what an accent on Grumpy Goo. Where he picked that up, I have no clue. But at least the true story has now come to pass, all thanks to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
And when I say show,
I mean very much so.
For doing videos for John, HGW and others at their sea,
Made me think it was about time I did one for me.
What better way,
To give you the true story today.
Then to have a little show and tell.
Grumpy Goo sure went through hell.
But what can you expect from a blue guy,
Who continues to lie.
First Bora Bora was a no go,
Now he's talking mutiny at his show.
So he brought on his own fate.
Now he is shark bate.
A fate I'd hate,
Rather have shark on my plate.
So enjoy the true story,
In all its glory.
I never hold back the truth,
Here at my booth.
Was that not fitting for Grumpy Goo? Trudessa talks like a porn star, who knew? The cat suddenly looks more feminine too. I wonder how a litter could even come due? And what an accent on Grumpy Goo. Where he picked that up, I have no clue. But at least the true story has now come to pass, all thanks to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 18, 2013
A Fart Apart!
So way back during the A to Z here at my sea we did fun names for Pat during the letter P. One that seemed to cause many glee, was Fartin' Martin on display. So you know I had to use that again at my bay. But I did not want to stop there and so A Fart Apart came to my lair.
In a town far away,They do more than just roll in the hay.Each year they have a contest for the best fart.It takes place at the local Fart Mart.
The contestants this year are top-notch.After reading this you may think Pat got into the scotch.For Fartin' Martin isn't the only one,Getting in on the farting fun.
Chipper Ripper is the one to beat.Mass Gas loves to roam the street.Gassy Lassy was sure she'd win.Wind Breaker was all in.
The five of them were all ready to fart.But they had to wait for the judges to start.The three judges were the best around.Smelly Ruth, Crappy Chap and Squeal Mark were the judges to surround.
Did you know there were so many ways to say fart?You can find them all at Fart Mart.So join in the fun,And sniff away with everyone.
Click here to have a peer.
Yeah, it is probably Pat's most juvenile book ever but you know many kiddos like the farting endeavor. So what the hell. The tale of the fart he had to tell. Maybe one day you will win the Stink Stank Stunk award for pulling the rip cord. Don't get shown up by that gassy lass. That is all from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
In a town far away,They do more than just roll in the hay.Each year they have a contest for the best fart.It takes place at the local Fart Mart.
The contestants this year are top-notch.After reading this you may think Pat got into the scotch.For Fartin' Martin isn't the only one,Getting in on the farting fun.
Chipper Ripper is the one to beat.Mass Gas loves to roam the street.Gassy Lassy was sure she'd win.Wind Breaker was all in.
The five of them were all ready to fart.But they had to wait for the judges to start.The three judges were the best around.Smelly Ruth, Crappy Chap and Squeal Mark were the judges to surround.
Did you know there were so many ways to say fart?You can find them all at Fart Mart.So join in the fun,And sniff away with everyone.
Click here to have a peer.
Yeah, it is probably Pat's most juvenile book ever but you know many kiddos like the farting endeavor. So what the hell. The tale of the fart he had to tell. Maybe one day you will win the Stink Stank Stunk award for pulling the rip cord. Don't get shown up by that gassy lass. That is all from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 17, 2013
Have A Ball With The Video Call!
So the other day the cat was using Skype at his bay. I watched the human on the other end and I think they forgot that they don't need to hit send. For the cat saw all. Here are some things not to do well on a video call.
The first is obvious as can be,Don't pick your nose in front of me.The second isn't hard to do.Don't talk while you're in the loo.
And it is not cool,To sit and wipe away drool.Also put some clothes on before you hit play.Seeing your no sun bare ass is not something I need at my bay.
Do not sit there and stuff your face,It's not like you're in a race.But at least one good thing comes to pass,I don't have to smell the breath of your nasty mass.
And if you want to whistle a tune,Go for a walk in a litter box sand dune.And do not yell into the mic,Or I will tell you to take a hike.
Yes, you have very nice hair.But I don't need to watch you groom it at your lair.Or picking in the curly spot.That might make my eyes rot.
And picking that green stuff out of your teeth,May go well with an upcoming Christmas wreath.But it is not something I need to see.I don't want to know your mouth looks like a tree.
And using it in the car,Won't get you very far.But even when you crash,I still hear you swearing and talking trash.
Speaking of hearing,Even through your throat clearing,I can hear you shout to the other room.My, you must really have fun with that broom.
Or was it a toy,That brings you so much joy?Wait, I don't really want to know.There is no need for you to show.
This is also not primary class.You don't not need to hold your sippy glass,And have a fun show and tell.But yes, your stamp collection is so swell.
So there are just a few tips of what not to do when talking on a video call at your zoo. It is amazing how many of you, including Pat, act normal and forget that you are in view. Or at least normal to you for here much crazy always comes due. But that you already knew class as every day I rhyme off my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
The first is obvious as can be,Don't pick your nose in front of me.The second isn't hard to do.Don't talk while you're in the loo.
And it is not cool,To sit and wipe away drool.Also put some clothes on before you hit play.Seeing your no sun bare ass is not something I need at my bay.
Do not sit there and stuff your face,It's not like you're in a race.But at least one good thing comes to pass,I don't have to smell the breath of your nasty mass.
And if you want to whistle a tune,Go for a walk in a litter box sand dune.And do not yell into the mic,Or I will tell you to take a hike.
Yes, you have very nice hair.But I don't need to watch you groom it at your lair.Or picking in the curly spot.That might make my eyes rot.
And picking that green stuff out of your teeth,May go well with an upcoming Christmas wreath.But it is not something I need to see.I don't want to know your mouth looks like a tree.
And using it in the car,Won't get you very far.But even when you crash,I still hear you swearing and talking trash.
Speaking of hearing,Even through your throat clearing,I can hear you shout to the other room.My, you must really have fun with that broom.
Or was it a toy,That brings you so much joy?Wait, I don't really want to know.There is no need for you to show.
This is also not primary class.You don't not need to hold your sippy glass,And have a fun show and tell.But yes, your stamp collection is so swell.
So there are just a few tips of what not to do when talking on a video call at your zoo. It is amazing how many of you, including Pat, act normal and forget that you are in view. Or at least normal to you for here much crazy always comes due. But that you already knew class as every day I rhyme off my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 16, 2013
Fill Your Purse With A Tweetful dVerse!
So as Pat sat at work waiting for the one and only perk, well besides the pay that lets us eat at our bay, which is for the day to be done and to go out in the sun. He decided to watch the twitter feed. A brain cell or 10 some of them are surely in need.
I am better than instant coffee.You must be so hyper you swing from a tree.Canadians get the message of saving more borrowing less.I was too broke to get that message I guess.
I think it is wrong that monopoly is only made by one place.So a monopoly you don't embrace?I am sitting in class and we're talking about sperm.You may get some if you swallow the worm.
If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice.Now that is a saying in which one should rejoice.Facts to tickle your bone.So you're going to cut my arm? Leave me the hell alone.
Four ways to use yelp.I don't want to use yelp, help!Can I start up a kickstarter just because?Could get you dough if you made enough buzz.
The blessing of the present is from the complications of the past.Even if those complications don't go away fast?My laptop just squeaked, I don't think this is a good thing.While it is better than it letting swear words fling.
Totally free access to debt.That is a conundrum you can bet.In heaven all the interesting people are missing.Oh that could lead to some hissing.
You have got to throw beer out the window.Such a litter bug at your show.At 1:30 AM my Internet is always sucky.It could be those gremlins or maybe chucky.
I want something real fattening right now.Could always go out in the field and eat a cow.That hurt like hell.So I guess it was not swell?
With every opportunity comes another setback.Like stepping on a thumbtack?I always feel like somebody is watching me.Sorry, I was bored I tell you at my work sea.
Explaining this over and over is too much for me.Is it really that hard to climb a tree?I am not being negative, I am positive you will screw it up.Stealing a line from a movie for that hiccup.
And with that we had a very dVerse display of some oh so great tweets at my bay. I know I did this a time or two but whoopdi friggin doo. For with thousands of messages that come to pass, it leaves many wide open to attack by my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 15, 2013
A Real Preach At The Beach!
So last year the cat went on at his mat about nuts at the beach who like to preach. Of course that time he was just having a little fun but sadly this time when he was out under the sun, in the giant litter box, away they strolled with their knee-high socks.
Do you have a minute sir?They already ruffled my fur,Talking to me like that.So I trotted off and let them pick on Pat.
Don't you think it is hideous the way these women are dressed?Yup, I knew they were going to be a pest.Pat grunted and looked away.That did not go over well with their fray.
Can't you answer a simple question?Is that a question or suggestion?I said question, can't you answer it?Can you pop that zit?
Oh wait that is a mole.No wonder you have a face like a lump of coal.Don't get lippy with me.All of this is blasphemy.
Then there was that word.Oh how I knew they were absurd.Who in the heck goes to a beach,dressed with knee-high socks to preach?
They really must have been sweating up their ass crack,The whole freaking annoying pack.And then they went even further into despair,Asking that if I really care,
I would give them a donation.It sounded more like a proclamation.As out came the hand,so I filled it full of sand.
Told them not to spend it all in one place,Should have seen the look on their face.They crossed themselves as Pat walked off.I bet they wanted to dunk him in a holy horse trough.
That is the first time I ever had to deal with that crap,Anywhere near the spot on my map.I guess as the waves swell,They think everyone that is half naked is going to hell.
You know what they say about hell in a handbasket,I bet though still ask for 10 grand when I'm in a casket.Oh how they swarm like flies,Asking for dough and pretending they are wise.
Yes, Pat really had to deal with that crap. But he wasn't about to fall into their trap. Next time he told me to dig a big hole then we could at least bury the one with the ugly mole. Gloria will have some company then as she is still buried at my den. Maybe they'll stay home and preach to Sunday school class, and never again bother my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Do you have a minute sir?They already ruffled my fur,Talking to me like that.So I trotted off and let them pick on Pat.
Don't you think it is hideous the way these women are dressed?Yup, I knew they were going to be a pest.Pat grunted and looked away.That did not go over well with their fray.
Can't you answer a simple question?Is that a question or suggestion?I said question, can't you answer it?Can you pop that zit?
Oh wait that is a mole.No wonder you have a face like a lump of coal.Don't get lippy with me.All of this is blasphemy.
Then there was that word.Oh how I knew they were absurd.Who in the heck goes to a beach,dressed with knee-high socks to preach?
They really must have been sweating up their ass crack,The whole freaking annoying pack.And then they went even further into despair,Asking that if I really care,
I would give them a donation.It sounded more like a proclamation.As out came the hand,so I filled it full of sand.
Told them not to spend it all in one place,Should have seen the look on their face.They crossed themselves as Pat walked off.I bet they wanted to dunk him in a holy horse trough.
That is the first time I ever had to deal with that crap,Anywhere near the spot on my map.I guess as the waves swell,They think everyone that is half naked is going to hell.
You know what they say about hell in a handbasket,I bet though still ask for 10 grand when I'm in a casket.Oh how they swarm like flies,Asking for dough and pretending they are wise.
Yes, Pat really had to deal with that crap. But he wasn't about to fall into their trap. Next time he told me to dig a big hole then we could at least bury the one with the ugly mole. Gloria will have some company then as she is still buried at my den. Maybe they'll stay home and preach to Sunday school class, and never again bother my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 14, 2013
A Hot To Trot Robot
There you go Betsy, used it in the title just for thee. Is that more than my once per month quota at my sea? I guess I'm just hot to trot like a busy bee. At least not a procrastinating fox. I better get on with it before the gawker gawks.
dVerse wants hot.
Google thinks I am a robot.
Two in one,
Oh what fun.
In a one horse open sleigh.
Damn, I got the wrong day.
For it is supposed to be hot not cold.
That just sort of took hold.
What can you expect from a spammer?
I must have some sort of stammer.
For the little guy from Timbuktu,
Trying to sell shoes to all of you,
Does not end up in spam.
Yet away the cat goes like toe jam.
Hey, at least it is not zombie toe jam.
Or some kind of Christmas ham.
See now I have that on the brain.
No wonder I get thrown in spam at every lane.
I'm just too hot for blogger to handle.
It does not want to get burnt by my candle.
Yep, I really went there to.
See what the heat can do?
It makes blogger think the cat is a spammer.
It makes humans walk around like they got hit with a hammer.
It makes dogs wag that big drooly tongue,
And Canadians treat old one eye like dung.
Invading her poor beach.
The cat so wishes he was in reach.
Then I would leave her something special at her sand bar.
It may end up on the floor mat of her car.
Now I am just rambling on.
But since when is that any different at my lawn?
I hope I type this all right.
After all it's hard to see when it's 93 degrees at your site.
Nothing wants to work.
It's like everything is snip snip and not a perk.
At least I suppose when some are all hot and steamy,
They can pretend they just got done with Mr. Dreamy.
Or Mrs. for all of you that aren't snip snip.
Now I am done giving all lip.
Except of course if you are dumb blogger and you keep putting in spam. Then I'm going to turn you to toe jam. Or feed you to a killer clam. Maybe I should just give you a lamb. Then you can go get your thrill and leave me alone at my hill. So if recently you have not seen me come to pass, check your spam box to find my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
dVerse wants hot.
Google thinks I am a robot.
Two in one,
Oh what fun.
In a one horse open sleigh.
Damn, I got the wrong day.
For it is supposed to be hot not cold.
That just sort of took hold.
What can you expect from a spammer?
I must have some sort of stammer.
For the little guy from Timbuktu,
Trying to sell shoes to all of you,
Does not end up in spam.
Yet away the cat goes like toe jam.
Hey, at least it is not zombie toe jam.
Or some kind of Christmas ham.
See now I have that on the brain.
No wonder I get thrown in spam at every lane.
I'm just too hot for blogger to handle.
It does not want to get burnt by my candle.
Yep, I really went there to.
See what the heat can do?
It makes blogger think the cat is a spammer.
It makes humans walk around like they got hit with a hammer.
It makes dogs wag that big drooly tongue,
And Canadians treat old one eye like dung.
Invading her poor beach.
The cat so wishes he was in reach.
Then I would leave her something special at her sand bar.
It may end up on the floor mat of her car.
Now I am just rambling on.
But since when is that any different at my lawn?
I hope I type this all right.
After all it's hard to see when it's 93 degrees at your site.
Nothing wants to work.
It's like everything is snip snip and not a perk.
At least I suppose when some are all hot and steamy,
They can pretend they just got done with Mr. Dreamy.
Or Mrs. for all of you that aren't snip snip.
Now I am done giving all lip.
Except of course if you are dumb blogger and you keep putting in spam. Then I'm going to turn you to toe jam. Or feed you to a killer clam. Maybe I should just give you a lamb. Then you can go get your thrill and leave me alone at my hill. So if recently you have not seen me come to pass, check your spam box to find my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 13, 2013
Are You This Crazy A Fan Of Tarsier Man?
There was a man,
In need of a tan.
He had a tendancy to stare.
A fact which he was unaware.
This lead to many a slap.
Or a good lip flap.
People were not kind.
They even slapped him on the behind.
He never knew why.
He was just admiring the sky,
Giving it a good gawk,
When he went about his walk.
No, he wasn't bare.
So don't go there.
He just liked to glare,
Not having a care.
Or so he thought.
All hot to trot,
On his stroll.
Could it be mind control?
For in his youth.
He built a booth.
To a certain man,
Whom he was a big fan.
He wished one day,
To be such a hero on display.
So kept his eyes wide,
Through life's ride.
He could not stop.
For he secretly wished for them to plop.
And go flying through the air.
A fact which he was unaware.
Did I mention the others?
Fathers, sisters, mothers, brothers?
All of which stop and stare,
All completely unaware.
There is a syndrome going around.
And it seems from childhood it was found.
Something to go with a man,
Who they were all a big fan.
They received a gift,
Giving their spirits a lift.
From a cereal box.
It was some flashy socks.
The sock mind control plot.
Who would have thought?
There is only one man that can stop such a thing.
So just give his theme song a sing.
The evil corporate clowns.
Made memoribila and even night gowns.
Not giving him a cent.
So he will make them repent.
But who put the curse on the socks?
Billy the blue tailed ox?
I guess that adventure is yet to be told.
Although it could come should he smell gold.
I guess Tarsier Man left his deranged fan high and dry. The poor guy. He even wanted his eyes to plop. Tarsier Man better make this sock plot stop. Maybe he has a new foe? The Deranged Fan would sure put on a bad guy show. At least this time the cat did not have to repeat a Tarsier Man tale, just the epic fail of a deranged fan. He would be better off idolizing Peter Pan. But Tarsier Man fans have no class. Unlike those who are a fan of my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
In need of a tan.
He had a tendancy to stare.
A fact which he was unaware.
This lead to many a slap.
Or a good lip flap.
People were not kind.
They even slapped him on the behind.
He never knew why.
He was just admiring the sky,
Giving it a good gawk,
When he went about his walk.
No, he wasn't bare.
So don't go there.
He just liked to glare,
Not having a care.
Or so he thought.
All hot to trot,
On his stroll.
Could it be mind control?
For in his youth.
He built a booth.
To a certain man,
Whom he was a big fan.
He wished one day,
To be such a hero on display.
So kept his eyes wide,
Through life's ride.
He could not stop.
For he secretly wished for them to plop.
And go flying through the air.
A fact which he was unaware.
Did I mention the others?
Fathers, sisters, mothers, brothers?
All of which stop and stare,
All completely unaware.
There is a syndrome going around.
And it seems from childhood it was found.
Something to go with a man,
Who they were all a big fan.
They received a gift,
Giving their spirits a lift.
From a cereal box.
It was some flashy socks.
The sock mind control plot.
Who would have thought?
There is only one man that can stop such a thing.
So just give his theme song a sing.
The evil corporate clowns.
Made memoribila and even night gowns.
Not giving him a cent.
So he will make them repent.
But who put the curse on the socks?
Billy the blue tailed ox?
I guess that adventure is yet to be told.
Although it could come should he smell gold.
I guess Tarsier Man left his deranged fan high and dry. The poor guy. He even wanted his eyes to plop. Tarsier Man better make this sock plot stop. Maybe he has a new foe? The Deranged Fan would sure put on a bad guy show. At least this time the cat did not have to repeat a Tarsier Man tale, just the epic fail of a deranged fan. He would be better off idolizing Peter Pan. But Tarsier Man fans have no class. Unlike those who are a fan of my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 12, 2013
Forth And Back Can Cause Flack!
Isn't it fun how you give one thing a run then something else is spun under your sun? Do you get what they cat is yapping about? Come now don't pout. I am sure you will catch on before the end of this trend and won't go completely around the bend. Although that can be fun too. The cat knows it to be true.
Finally, your big job is done.
No longer do you have to give it a run.
You think you have time,
Then comes another crime.
Now you have to clean some grime,
Left by some stupid mime.
Oops, time to cook food,
Deal with an idiot that is rude.
Have to get gas,
The grocery list needs another pass,
Another job crops up,
No coffee left for your cup.
Add that to the list,
As you grit your fist.
Just when you had some relief,
Comes a whole bunch more grief.
Damn phone rings over and over,
You have to walk rover,
Have to shovel too,
What is left behind for you.
Then comes some yapping in your hear,
As you try to make something come near,
Getting rid of that list,
Wanting to smack them with your fist.
Another maybe comes due,
Giving you the old switcheroo.
For now you have to start anew,
After they dropped another clue.
Can't make up their mind,
Annoying your behind.
But you push on,
Hoping for the coming dawn.
Lord and behold it comes,
You give off cheery hums.
Damn! Time for the first job once more,
That you completed last month at your shore.
It never ends,
These forth and back trends.
But such is life,
Guess we just have to look at it with less strife.
And now you get the cat as I went on about the mundane at my mat. For it comes to us all and has to get done at our hall. But if you don't get stuck behind the eight ball, that list doesn't get so tall. Now I'm off to pass some gas from my wiggling little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Finally, your big job is done.
No longer do you have to give it a run.
You think you have time,
Then comes another crime.
Now you have to clean some grime,
Left by some stupid mime.
Oops, time to cook food,
Deal with an idiot that is rude.
Have to get gas,
The grocery list needs another pass,
Another job crops up,
No coffee left for your cup.
Add that to the list,
As you grit your fist.
Just when you had some relief,
Comes a whole bunch more grief.
Damn phone rings over and over,
You have to walk rover,
Have to shovel too,
What is left behind for you.
Then comes some yapping in your hear,
As you try to make something come near,
Getting rid of that list,
Wanting to smack them with your fist.
Another maybe comes due,
Giving you the old switcheroo.
For now you have to start anew,
After they dropped another clue.
Can't make up their mind,
Annoying your behind.
But you push on,
Hoping for the coming dawn.
Lord and behold it comes,
You give off cheery hums.
Damn! Time for the first job once more,
That you completed last month at your shore.
It never ends,
These forth and back trends.
But such is life,
Guess we just have to look at it with less strife.
And now you get the cat as I went on about the mundane at my mat. For it comes to us all and has to get done at our hall. But if you don't get stuck behind the eight ball, that list doesn't get so tall. Now I'm off to pass some gas from my wiggling little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 11, 2013
A News Cruise!
Today at my zoo the cat is going to help all of you. That is right for once at my site I will help all of you. For today much news is going to come do. The cat snuck into a Hollywood newsroom and will be the first to bring you all the Hollywood gloom. So just seated back and get ready for a heart attack.
Planet of the dogs is next on the list,It is sure one not to be missed.But I hear the producers got pissed, When the fire hydrants they missed.
Stargate is coming back to TV,That is right you heard it from little old me.They had a solar flare,And now they are filming them all again at their lair.
This one is hot off the presses,It could leave your underwear in messes.There will be another thousand remakes this year,Doesn't that make you clench your rear?
But forget about that,For it is time to step up to bat.With Major League four,The retirement home tour.
And you better save your loonies,For there is going to be more Goonies.Just pop in your DVD,And there they are to see.
Next should be a fun one,As Gibson goes crazy under the sun.He talks to his friend in a shoe,I guess it beats talking to a loo.
And for all of you lovers of reality TV,I hope a special place in Hell is reserved for thee.But that is neither here nor there,Four girls go to jail will soon be coming to your lair.
Wait you get that anyway?Those damn celebrities ruin everything at my bay.But from kids star to behind the bar,May very well go far.
Gremlins versus Critters are up next,I just got the text.I wonder if the Critters will play by the rules,Which make the gremlins look like fools.
Now now don't go away,There will be plenty more on display.But if you want more news,You have to pay your ticket dues.
What? The cat has to earn a living, for this great news you should be giving. What? You don't agree with little old me? I guess I will have to send you a flea. Then when you murder the poor flea you can go to jail and be on reality TV. But if you are a dog you will have to wear wig. At least I didn't pull a Deliverance and say act like a pig. And I think I will stop there before anyone get any ideas at my lair. I know you are just astonished at the great news that came to pass from my ever so nosy little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Planet of the dogs is next on the list,It is sure one not to be missed.But I hear the producers got pissed, When the fire hydrants they missed.
Stargate is coming back to TV,That is right you heard it from little old me.They had a solar flare,And now they are filming them all again at their lair.
This one is hot off the presses,It could leave your underwear in messes.There will be another thousand remakes this year,Doesn't that make you clench your rear?
But forget about that,For it is time to step up to bat.With Major League four,The retirement home tour.
And you better save your loonies,For there is going to be more Goonies.Just pop in your DVD,And there they are to see.
Next should be a fun one,As Gibson goes crazy under the sun.He talks to his friend in a shoe,I guess it beats talking to a loo.
And for all of you lovers of reality TV,I hope a special place in Hell is reserved for thee.But that is neither here nor there,Four girls go to jail will soon be coming to your lair.
Wait you get that anyway?Those damn celebrities ruin everything at my bay.But from kids star to behind the bar,May very well go far.
Gremlins versus Critters are up next,I just got the text.I wonder if the Critters will play by the rules,Which make the gremlins look like fools.
Now now don't go away,There will be plenty more on display.But if you want more news,You have to pay your ticket dues.
What? The cat has to earn a living, for this great news you should be giving. What? You don't agree with little old me? I guess I will have to send you a flea. Then when you murder the poor flea you can go to jail and be on reality TV. But if you are a dog you will have to wear wig. At least I didn't pull a Deliverance and say act like a pig. And I think I will stop there before anyone get any ideas at my lair. I know you are just astonished at the great news that came to pass from my ever so nosy little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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