Sarcastic Quotes

Quotes tagged as "sarcastic" Showing 1-30 of 111
J.D. Salinger
“I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.”
J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Colleen Houck
“Perfect! Now we're being chased by hoards of monkeys! Perhaps you would care to name their species as we're attacked, just so I can appreciate the special traits of said monkey as it kills me!"
"At least when the monkeys are harassing you, you dont have any time to harass me!”
Colleen Houck, Tiger's Curse

Cassandra Clare
“Why did you ask me to live with you? Werewolves hate vampires.”
“I don’t,” said Kyle.” I’m not too fond of their kind, though.” He jabbed a finger at Jace. “They think they’re better than everyone else.”
“No,” said Jace. “I think I’m better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence.”
Kyle looked at Simon. “Does he always talk like this?”
Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare
“Jace broke off the kiss and stepped back with an exhale; before Clary could say anything, a chorus of sarcastic applause broke out from the nearby hill. Simon, Isabelle, and Alec waved at them. Jace bowed while Clary stepped back slightly sheepishly, hooking her thumbs into the belt of her jeans
Jace sighed. "Shall we join our annoying, voyeuristic friends?"
"Unfortunately, that's the only kind of friends we have.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Heavenly Fire

Holly Black
“There you are," Cardan says as I take my place beside him. "How has the night been going for you? Mine has been full of dull conversation about how my head is going to find itself on a spike.”
Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

Jess C. Scott
“If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.”
Jess C Scott, Rockstar

Stephenie Meyer
“Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.”
Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

“Mum said earlier what a lovely dress
you’re wearing.”
Beryl’s eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. “This?” she said. “But I’ve had this for years.”
It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman.
“I think you’ve really grown into it,” Valkyrie said.
“I always thought it was a little shapeless.”
Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant.”
Derek Landy, Death Bringer

Maggie Stiefvater
“I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look.
"For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon."
"Poor thing," I said.
"It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly.
"Shut up," Sam said pleasantly.”
Maggie Stiefvater, Forever

Kendare Blake
“Girls, on the other hand, have always come easy. I don't know why that is, exactly. Maybe it's the outsider vibe and a well-placed brooding look. Maybe it's something I think I see sometimes in the mirror, something that reminds me of my father. Or maybe I'm just damn easy on the eyes.”
Kendare Blake, Anna Dressed in Blood

Jess C. Scott
“It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.”
Jess C. Scott, Blind Leading Another

Criss Jami
“The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.”
Criss Jami, Killosophy

Lish McBride
“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.”
Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

James Dashner
“I love the sound of it," Trina whispers, as if speaking too loudly might interrupt the drumming patter of the rain outside. "It makes me want to sleep. Snuggle my head right up in your armpit and snore for three days."

"My armpit?" Mark repeats. "Good thing we all showered up in the storm this morning. My pits smell like roses. Go ahead and get comfy.”
James Dashner, The Kill Order

Tessa Dare
“What on earth are you wearing? Did you take orders in a convent since we spoke last? Little Sisters of the Drab and Homely.”
Tessa Dare, A Week to Be Wicked

Dan Abnett
“Have you noticed we can breathe in here too?
Gosh, I wouldn't have picked up on that.”
Dan Abnett, Hereticus

Rachel Hawkins
“No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.”
Rachel Hawkins, Demonglass

Sherrilyn Kenyon
“So what's it to be, Bear?"
Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.
"By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.”
Sherrilyn Kenyon, No Mercy

Rick Riordan
“I sort of fell."

"Percy! Six hundred and thirty feet?”
Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

Alison Croggon
“By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.”
Alison Croggon, The Singing

Jennifer Lynn Barnes
“Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.”
Jennifer Lynn Barnes, Killer Spirit

Will McIntosh
“Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.”
Will McIntosh, Soft Apocalypse

Sanhita Baruah
“Every day is a gift. But some days are packaged better.”
Sanhita Baruah

Rachel Vincent
“You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote!”
Rachel Vincent, Prey

N.M. Facile
“A man is a penis-wrinkle when calling him a dickhead would be a compliment.”
NM Facile, Across The Hall

Madeline Miller
“You make the rarest canvas, love”
Madeline Miller, Galatea

“You're a big help, Mr. I Read So Many Books.”
Laura Ruby, The Chaos King

Adele Ashworth
“I'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest.
"Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out quickly. "Every female I know is furious with me. Rosalyn throws tantrums, and Charlotte hasn't spoken to me or written since you left." He moved his hands to unbutton her gown. "The morning I thought you'd sailed out of my life I started drinking and didn't stop until I'd finished two bottles. For three days I had a blistering headache, and Nedda couldn't for the life of her stop banging things." He groaned. "And I can't even begin to tell you about your sisters.”
Adele Ashworth, My Darling Caroline

Adele Ashworth
“Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War Department has had on file since its inception." She huffed with pure, disgusted outrage, lowering her gaze to the floor to murmur, "I'll kill him.”
Adele Ashworth, My Darling Caroline

Charles Atkins
“In every day and in every way, we're all that much closer to death.”
Charles Atkins

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