Hold Me Closer, Necromancer Quotes

“Most people felt lost after high school. Sometimes I felt like I'd never really been found in the first place.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“There were no windows in my bedroom, so I had to sit up and read my clock to figure out how angry I should be at my visitor. Eight A.M. I hated whoever woke me up. Had they come an hour earlier, I would have also hated their families and any household pets.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“On top of all that, you're naked. And while I'm going to hate myself for this later, could you put on some clothes? At least just for a little while, so I can think. Then you can go right back to being naked. All the time. With my full blessing.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“You know what the great thing about babies is? They are like little bundles of hope. Like the future in a basket.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Can you just tell them we don’t need Jesus, Girl Scout cookies, or whatever the Mormons worship, and let me lie here in peace?”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“So you're the guy who did the no-no cha-cha with my baby sister.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“You want waffles?” I tried to keep the skepticism from my voice. “No firstborn or a pot of gold?”
“I’m not a leprechaun, Sam. And what would I do with a baby?” Her eyebrow shot back up, and she crossed her arms. “I want waffles. Take it or leave it.”
I glanced at Brid, who was staring at Ashley shrewdly.
“Let’s talk numbers,” she said. “Are we talking, like, twenty waffles all at once? Or a waffle a week for six months? What?”
“Every day for two years,” Ashley said.
“That’s outrageous,” Brid sputtered.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Begin at the beginning," I said, "and go on till you come to the end. Then stop.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Hi, my name is Ashley, and I’ll be your Harbinger today. I will be acting as an interim instructor for all your necromancy needs.” She flashed her best stewardess smile and gave a little Vanna wave.
“Ashley, as delighted as I am to meet you, don’t you think it might be hard to teach me? I’m in a cage that you can’t get into. Oh, and—” I grabbed the bars with both hands, “I’m a little distracted right now by the fact that I’m being held by a psychotic killer.”
Ashley cocked a single eyebrow, a look of mild amusement on her face. “Geez,” she said, looking at Brid. “Is he always this big of a drama queen?”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“When it came to music, I was omnivorous.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“I had an affinity for pandas. Something about clumsy vegetarians struck a chord with me.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Despite her obvious stress, my mom still managed to pour the hot chocolate into mugs, cover them with whipped cream and a pinch of cayenne, and add a cinnamon stick to them. She was like the Jedi master of hot chocolate.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“No wonder I'd always felt lost. I actually was. The knowledge felt terrible, but in a strange way, it also felt good. Now I knew why I'd never connected to anything. Why I felt like I was outside the world around me, moving at a different speed from everyone else. That amputated piece of me explained everything, even why I'd failed at college. But that kind of blanket excuse can be dangerous. Crutches usually are.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“I stared at the pictogram of a burger nestled between similar representations of shakes, sodas, and fries, on the front of my register. I wondered why humankind seemed so dead set on destroying all of its accomplishments. We draw on cave walls, spend thousands of years developing complex language systems, the printing press, computers, and what do we do with it? Create a cash register with the picture of a burger on it, just in case the cashier didn't finish the second grade. One step forward, two steps back-- like an evolutionary cha-cha. Working here just proved that the only thing separating me from a monkey was pants.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Are we going where I think we are?” he asked.
“Hell, yeah,” I told him, turning the key in the ignition. I steered the car toward the highway that would take us to my mother’s house. “And I hope she’s got a few good answers.”
“I hope,” Ramon said, “that she’s made cookies.”
I glared at him.
“Don’t look at me like that. If we were going to interrogate my poor mother for whatever, you’d be secretly hoping she’d made you tamales. I’m just honest enough to admit it.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“I wanted to howl until I was nothing but sound.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“You have to ask it something it knew when it was alive. People don't become omniscient just because they have keeled over.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Arriving on Bainbridge Island is the opposite of arriving in Seattle. When you got in your car and waited to unload off the ferry in Seattle, you saw the Space Needle, cars, and a mound of urban construction. Once you exit the ferry terminal on Bainbridge, however, it’s mostly trees. Pine as far as the eye can see. Well, pines, firework and coffee stands, and eventually a casino. You drive through the Port Madison Indian Reservation when you leave the island. I couldn’t help but smile as I went past the casino. I didn’t really get gambling, since I’d never had money to throw away, but as I passed through all the beautiful countryside that I’m sure once belonged to the tribe, I sort of hoped they would rob the white man blind. Perhaps not politically correct, but the feeling was there all the same.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“I didn't want to think about the fact that she could smell me, or that she just joked about eating me. At least I hoped she meant it as a joke.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Next time a talking head ended up in my easy chair, I would have all sorts of points of reference, but at that moment, I was completely at sea.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“My name is Samhain Corvus LaCroix. I am a necromancer.

Now, if only I could say that with a straight face.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“What,” he said slowly, “do you think you’re doing here?”

“I work here.” My lips felt cracked and dry all of a sudden. He tightened his grip on me and pulled me closer. Not really a place I wanted to be. I swallowed hard.

“Not here, fool. Seattle.”

“I live here.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“You're Death,' I said. 'In saddle shoes.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“I tried to take some pride where I could. If I was going to be a dropout loser, then I was going to be the best dropout loser.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Today Ramon defended the garbage bin by Plumpy’s back door, and I defended a shiny silver Mercedes because, according to Ramon, it represented the privileged white aristocracy of America trying to keep the Latino man down.

“Our duel,” Ramon said, spinning his broom like a bo staff, “will represent the struggle our nation’s currently engaged in.”

“Please, we both know you’re just going for home team advantage.”

“You wound me, Sam. I can’t help it if your crackerlike oppression gives me the better playing field.” He did a quick hamstring stretch. “Suck it up.”

“Fine,” I said, “then I get the handicap.”

“Sam, you’re Texas. Texas always gets the handicap.”

“I’m Team Texas again?”

He grinned, rolled his shoulders, and wiggled his arms, loosening them.

I gave up and nodded at the Mercedes. It looked old and expensive, especially in our parking lot. “Shiny.”

Ramon snorted. “Classic. Check out the gullwing doors.”

“Fine. Classic Shiny.”

Ramon tossed an empty Plumpy’s cup into the Dumpster. “Sometimes, Sammy, I question your manhood.”

“A car is to get you from place to place. That’s it.”

Ramon shook his head at my ignorance.

“Whatever. Just try not to dent the car, Team Mexico.”

“It’s Team South America,” he said.

“You do know that Mexico is in North America, right?”

“Yeah, but I have the whole continent behind me.” He held up his fist dramatically. “They support their cousin to the north.” I laughed and he dropped his hand back down. “And it’s that guy’s own fault for parking in our lot so he could sneak over to Eddie Bauer or Starbucks or whatever.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Dinner was a repetition of the last meal, except they added an orange. Either Douglas had forgotten I don’t eat ham, or he left it in an attempt to teach me yet another lesson. Of course, Michael could have prepared the meal and done it trying to piss me off. I had a lot of time on my hands to think about these things.

  I gave the ham to Brid and went about peeling my orange.

  “At least now I won’t get scurvy,” I said.

  Brid finished the ham, licking the juice off her fingers. “I’m glad you’re looking on the bright side of things.”

  “Of course, with no sun, I’ll eventually get rickets.”

  “No, you won’t,” Brid said.

  “But I’m not getting enough vitamin D.”

  “I know, but in adults they don’t call it rickets. It’s called osteomalacia.” Brid swallowed another mouthful of her stew, smiling at my surprise.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Right,” the girl said, “business.” She whipped out a BlackBerry and began hitting buttons. “Please tell me one of you is Sam LaCroix.”

  I raised my hand. “Present.”

  “Finally.” She walked up to the bars, pointing an accusing finger in my face. “You are a rather troublesome young man to find.” She hit a few more buttons on the BlackBerry. “I freaking hate nicknames. I tell people, give me the whole name, it’s easier. But nooo.” Her brow furrowed, and she focused her attention back on me. “Usually Sam is easy though. Samuel, Samwise, there are only so many things a shortened Sam could be. So why were you so difficult?”

  I poked my chest. “Samhain.”

  The girl snorted. “I should have known. New-age Celtic-loving hippies, making my life hell.” She continued to type, her face brightening. “Right, there you are. Samhain LaCroix.” She looked back up at me. “You think you can get yourself out of that kinky love cage you’re in and talk to me? I’m on a tight schedule.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Little girl, do you think we want to be in here?”

  “You seemed happy to be there when I showed up.”

  “Touché,” Brid murmured.

  I glared at her. “Hey, how ’bout you stop with the smart-ass remarks, and maybe we can get out of here?”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

“Death and soul?” Brid asked.

  The girl tapped her foot, impatient. She pointed to herself. “Dead. As in a doornail. I took a dirt nap, pushed up some daisies, reached room temperature, pined for the fjords—”

  “Pined for the fjords?” Brid said.

  “Monty Python,” the girl and I both said at the same time.

  “Oh.” Brid gave her a sympathetic look. “Sorry.”

  She hit some more buttons on her BlackBerry. “Yeah, well, cancer’s a bitch.”

  “Well said,” Brid responded solemnly.

  The girl smiled. “Sorry if that came off snarky, but when you’ve been dead awhile, the self-pity thing gets old quick, the horror wears off, and you sort of get over yourself. At least, I did anyway.”
― Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer