Pat Hatt's Blog, page 74

An Odd List That Can't Be Missed!

Lists help here and there and they can be used everywhere. Some write them down each day. Pfffft to that I say. I'll keep them in my head. Saves time and doesn't cause trees dread.

Raviolis and Waterworks Odds With Listed Perks
Ten Odds For And Against Blabber. Like A Mime May Stab Her!
1. A deadly disease is caught in her mind. Fake diseases really put her in a bind.So she runs far far away thinking blogger gave her a disease today. I hear they make pills for that. You can trust the cat.

2. A bird pecks her eyes out and she gives a hideous shout.The shouting scares more birds and they eat her turning her to turds.That would lower her odds of a new post display by the way.
3. She gets a job that requires more hours in some big NY towers.Then she worries about the building fall over or tramping in the poop of rover.Back to the birds she'd go and the crap thing, you know.
4. She goes on vacation and the plane goes boom. Oh the doom.Fear of flying isn't bad. Saves money at ones pad.Boom = lower odds as well as one rings their last bell.
5. A list pisses off some stalker fan. They throw her in the back of a van.Wait, isn't her van still in another place? Oh that was another person's parking space.Where are the higher odds? Not many to give nods.
6. She takes a "break" again there at her den.May need to seek out the definition of break should she do a double take.Probably thinks a robbery is about to occur. That won't make her purr.
7. She starts a new blog then goes back to the old time log.But take her time in between before skipping back to her old scene.The cat can recall. Odds are I remember all.
8. She hits it big. Runs away and dances a jig.The odds go way down as she's from short town.Yeah, she hit a big fat guy. Splat she goes on the first try.
9. She comes up short and files a short report.Ideas are in short supply. On short notice away she did fly.Notice my short retort? Sure didn't come up short.
10. She gets lost an in outhouse museum because to her it's like a coliseum. Hopefully not lost down a hole. That would be a nasty goal.Odds are arriving in and it sure isn't a win.
Odds = Panic AttackStill Stuck On The Disease Way Back
Ever have a fake disease? Did birds come after you like the breeze? Can a breeze come after you? Are you a blog "break" person at your zoo? Like break for a year. Does an outhouse museum cause you fear? Isn't that a great list? Sure one not to be missed. Now I'll watch the panic attack of that LMF...Jax...excuse me...Jaclyn lass. It is so amusing to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Oddly Blue Shining Through!

The odds are blue today. I guess they change color at my bay. Beats red I suppose. He'd cut off your rump and your toes. That pointy stick is mean. Odds are I will now get on with it at my scene.

Blue Grumpster Odds Crawl From The Dumpster
The odds are blue.The odds are red.Both are true,As he snores in bed.
Whoops, on the couch.That's just mean.Must make him a grouch.Snoring loud enough to rupture a spleen.
Odds go down low,With a blown up spleen.But that you know.Basic anatomy at one's scene. 
Then there are humpers.They may get payback.Those crazy wall bumpers,Like a rocking shack.
Blue fixed their wailing.They want to keep rockin.So the wall may be failing,And they may get Blue if he goes a knockin.
Skinny jeans nuts,May come a showing.With their tight butts,After his showing.
Skinny jean killers.They hate his hate.So forget the fillers,The give him a skinny jean fate.
Bora Bora could come to be.He may travel across the sea.Tramp in the waste left by me,And never come back to see.
School may be in.Over worked and under paid.That sure isn't a win,So blogging may fade.
Whoops, there is a remake.It's Jaws the reboot.A post he'll have to bake,As another movie goes in the trash chute.
Odds = Highly BlueRemakes, Reboots and Redos In View
Blue shall still be around, unless killer snoring is found. Then he may go to jail for snoring spleen blasting. The movie is already casting. Been to Bora Bora at your sea? Have you tramped in cat pee? Ready for Jaws the remake? Wouldn't doubt it will get a triple take. Are you a skinny jean nut stuck in a skinny jean rut? The cat will now go roll in the green grass, adding another color today to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

WEP Times Two...Or Three At My Sea!

The cat is breaking the odds today. I guess I have too much to say. Odds are that will always come due as humans rarely ever get a clue. Plenty of ammo is at hand. Right. On with it at my land.

First we have a new release. Pat once again made the rhyming cease. How rude is that? But why are we showing it today at our mat? Because it was started by April's WEP post. And off it went at our coast. But I'll fix Pat. Hold on, we'll get to that.

Click Here For A Peer!

Martin and Emma had survived much in life to get the family that they always wanted. But when a snowstorm delivers a young, abused boy into their life they realize further the gift bestowed upon them and begin the fight to give the same chance to him. Soon they discover a secret lurking in Hunts Bay that goes further than abuse and puts their entire family at risk.
Determined to keep the boy from harm, they now must unravel the secrets of his past before his past destroys their family. As threats close in, the pair quickly find themselves doing acts they would never have fathomed to keep him safe, their kids safe and escape the growing threat with their lives.


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And now on with another show. Or should I say flow? Yeah, the cat is going to play too. Rhyming has to come due. Is doubling up cheating? Bah, we'll Yolanda and Denise deal with that at their next meeting.



Gods And Mods
Cassie and I were fast asleep. It is a way of life at our keep. That didn't last long though, mainly due to a familiar foe. I guess frienemy would be a better fit. Either way, once again we had to deal with his shit.

"Drazin wanted to go home, not end up with you fleabags."

"Thy demon better watch his trap." Pat threatened him with a spoon. Yeah, he was once again a loon.

"What do you want this time, godly mook?" Cassie yawned and tried to ignore. She found dealing with that bald headed buffoon a chore.

"Drazin didn't want this. Drazin wants to...Just great." Drazin rolled his eyes as we heard more cries.

The room then started to spin and it was time for another battle that we had to win.

"Bryan, what do you call an alphabet with no R?"

"Messed up?"

"Nope. Alphawrong."

"Is it just Drazin or were those two better when they had football heads?" Drazin curled his nose up at the beer guys while bloggers surrounded us like flies.

Did I mention a giant R floated above us too? R really needs to get a clue.

"Great meeting. Great post. Great reunion. Great post. Great death. Great post." R repeated that a lot as he floated in one spot.

Then all around us past foes started to appear. Zombie Betsy even cackled in my ear. The humans all strayed away from Silver Fox though. They remembered his snip snip the human show.

"Thy demon has really done it this time." Pat threw his spoon at R. That didn't get us very far.

"Don't look at Drazin. Drazin had nothing to do with this crap."

"It was me. Now give me my shoe while I wipe the land of repeats!" Blue Guy appeared above us all. I think someone stretched him and made him rather tall.

"So he tries to stop repeats by making everything come back and repeat themselves. Pffft what an idiot." Cassie swatted The Gawker away. Him and that eyeball sticking out of the top of his head was still a scary display.

"Damn it. My mod failed. Stupid Amazon seller sent me the wrong package." Blue Guy jumped up and down. He was like a child throwing a tantrum in crazy town.

"And there are those crazy nuts." Drazin eyed Truedessa and Blabber as they appeared. Actually, I think his red glowing eyes more like peered.

"I didn't get my shampoo!"

"Look at that sky." Truedessa twirled around, making an aww kinda sound.

"I think she got too much air on that mountain. Or maybe drank from a funky fountain." I couldn't help that one. It just slipped out before I began to run.

"All right, fleabags. Drazin is going to end this crap before Drazin gets stuck with that whiny one-eyed creep and that Irish nut again. Let's go."

"Thy demon is right. Let's take out the germ ridden blue man."

"I want my shoe, damn it." Blue Guy waved his arm and all wanted to cause us harm.

"Godly mook, handle them, we've got the shoe nut." Cassie nodded to me and off we did flee.

"What about your crazy human?"

"Use him as bait. At that he's first rate." I got a glare from Pat. He may have not liked that.

Blue Guy tried to run away while Drazin fought off any who got in his way. He used Pat as a shield a time or two. He may have even swung him around like a stick, too.

"Back, cats. Back I say!"

"Does he think we're dogs?" Cassie rolled her eyes at him while I slunk behind his shoe-less limb.

"See ya later, Blue. At least I didn't poo." I snickered as Blue Guy slipped on my puddle of pee and Cassie batted his machine free.

"See? I need my shoe. This is so eww for Blue."

"My turn." Pat grabbed a beer bottle from one of the beer guys and smashed it after three tries. He shoved the glass into Blue's machine and poof went the entire scene.

"Damn you, Amazon sellers," Blue Guy muttered while he backed away. He really wasn't having a very good day.

Drazin picked up his sparking machine while Blue Guy continued to make a scene. He then tossed it at Blue Guy and after a little hippy shake, Blue Guy vaporized like kids do to cake.

"Until next time Drazin has to deal with you and your crazy human, fleabags." Drazin went back to Plumtoad and we all soon returned to every day mode.

That means Pat went to cleaning our shit and we rested for more than a bit. I may have even relieved myself in Blue Guy's shoe. But he's not supposed to know I have it, so that's between me and you.

Word Count: 807

There we go. All done with today's flow. Wasn't that rather long? Bah, shorter than a trip to Hong Kong. Lots to take in today. There is even another story at Pat's other blogging bay. So I guess that would make three. Beats little old me. Odds are we'll be back to odds soon, so don't expect long arse posts from this loon. But so many questions still come due. Did Blue go to another planet at his zoo? Did Zombie Betsy really die once more? Did Truedessa get too much mountain air at her shore? Did the beer guys go lame? Does an R really want to maim? I even got a long question mass. Okay, after all that work, off I go to nap my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Odds Are Benched But Not Monkey Wrenched!

Why would a monkey have a wrench? Would it play with it on a bench? Would you call that monkeying around? Would it be dogging around if it were a wrench carrying hound? I guess you'll need to see that view from a bench at your zoo.

A Bench With A View Odds Are Ever So...True
Betty's on the bench.Not a stinky trench.Unless a bench is by a trench.Then she may be on that bench.
Wow, could get washed away.Straight into a stinky bay.That takes the odds down.Who knew benches could make one drown?
She finds a new bench.Here comes a psycho with a wrench.She stole his bench spot.Wowweee, odds go down a lot.
The bench may break.Toppled over in a lake.Maybe rolled down a hill.Benches really can kill.
Then it could be worse.What's worse than a psycho curse?Could get a splinter in your ass.Benches can have those in mass.
Of course you'd have to have no clothes.Or sucky fabric that falls off when the wind blows.Hmm, odds are low on that.So that ups the odds from the cat.
But she's a peeper.Not in the way of a creeper.At least the cat hopes not.That would drop the odds a lot.
Instead they drop a bit.She thinks the neighbors are a hit.Peeping as they come and go.They may not like that though.
Psycho neighbors take revenge.News at 11 from Stonehenge.Or would that be from Arizona?Heck, it's not from Daytona.
Neighbors have rallied.The odds are tallied.Can see them from a bench.They are even translated to French.
Odds = Highly BenchedBut No Splinters Leaving Butts Clenched
Ever get a splinter in your ass? Now how did that come to pass? The cat may not want to know. Any good benches at your show? Betty will be around still I bet. I'm usually a right pet. Posts may get benched though if her neighbors catch on to her peeping show. Hey, the cat won't tell and raise any hell. I can't say the same for that singing bass. He is more of a blabber mouth than my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Odds Are Rosey So Be Nosey!

Can something be rosey when it is not a rose? Or you know, named Rosey by friends or foes. Humans just have a weird way of describing things I guess. Anyway, will the odds be more or less?

mail4rosey The Odds Get Cozy
These odds are easy.May even smell cheesy.She could have such a contest.Isn't cheese the best?
Nah, we think not.A mousey type plot.That cat isn't a mouse.Kick them from our house.
But Rosey contests all.Meaning contests have a ball.May even give you a ball.Hell, she runs them all.
Except maybe R rated.Family friendly is only slated.That saves her from the creepy crew.Odds go up at her zoo.
But those mommy bloggers may not win.Now that is a real sin.They may hold it against her.Death threats may spur.
Hey, mommy bloggers can be mean.Watch out when they lose at her scene.Death by psycho mommy blogger.Be a better ending than becoming a logger.
Get the reference there?Odds are down at her lair.Plus she travels and does reviews.Now that could make the news.
Give a bad review.Uh oh, psycho comes due.The owner is at her door.Bad reviews no more.
She went to the beach.Giant litter box in reach.Oops, there was a mark.She got eaten by a shark.
Odds aren't looking good.She may never post again in her hood.Sharks and psychos galore.Maybe a casket contest should be run at her shore?
Odds = 666Too Many Crazies In The Mix
What was that? The odds were rigged by the cat? Rosey hates 666 coming due? Whoops, I was caught by you. Ever have a review nut come after you? Get eaten by a shark at your zoo? Piss off a mommy blogger yet? Got in your bet? So many questions have come to pass. I'm sure Rosey will still be around to curse my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wanna Buy Odds From Cods?

What? Odds doesn't rhyme with ducks and it felt like cheating using hockey pucks. Aren't the ducks all sold out? Yep, that's why I switched to trout. Cods, trout, same thing. All fish swimming in a fish poo filled spring.

Belva Block Odds Leave Ducks In Shock
Wanna Buy A Duck?Well you are crap outta luck.That blog went poof.No posts in over a year is proof.
So zero odds on that.Sorry, but those odds are flat.Moving on to Belva Block.No ducks, what a shock.
Got chickens though.They sure can grow.They may peck her eyes out.Odds are lower with them about.
That was such a Blabber thing to say.I feel ashamed at my bay.Not really though.But I'm sure that you know.
Knows how to heal.Doesn't reinvent the wheel.But that could backfire.She may not replace an old tire.
Pop it could go.Then you never know.Driving into a ditch,Would sure be a bitch.
Odds are I spun that silly.But it's all willy nilly.You should know that too.Taking odds on it at my zoo.
She came back twice.Isn't that nice?Ducks and Blocks.New digs, same docks.
Daily rhyme every day for...forever.The cat is too lazy to count the comment endeavor.But she's been here a very long time.Always ready to drop a dime.
Odds of a new post?Hmmm, 2 months as of now at her coast.Those odds are pretty slim.Especially with killer chickens making things grim.
Odds = Falling, FallingThe Deadly Eyeball Eating Chickens Are Calling
Did you know chickens were that scary? No wonder they aren't hairy. They get blood in their fur. That wouldn't make anyone purr. Considering she'll make triple digits at her sea, I'm sure she'll still be around and rhyming free. But watch those chickens and their peck. Ducks may come after her for ditching their selling trek. Birds sure are up in arms against that lass. She better hide under the bed like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Number One Is Oddly Spun!

Who will get number one today? Will Hank get it for his display? Maybe Betty will have insomnia and go for the win. Is insomnia ever a win at any bin? Blue may know as he gives copy and paste a go.

Hank Odds In The Bank
Odds of number one.They must be done.The rest is easy to guess.More or less.
No odds on that.Not need to be a broke cat.So those bets are out.Taking bets on #1 about.
Will Hank sneak in,With a 7 am spin?Will Blue copy and paste,Getting in post haste?
Will Betsy get up early?Nah, that would make her squirrely.So odds go up there.Saying What Off will make her glare.
Will blogger crash?Back in a flash.Will I even post?Hmm, guess so at my coast.
Odds are in.Hank may win.Wait, there's a toad.It's in the road.
Hank had to stop.Could be a flop.One the road with a toad.Can't go #1 mode.
But there's the phone.Can enter at the tone.A win times two.#1...#1..came due.
Nah, no double the wager.Blame the pager.Do they even use those anymore?Odds are they don't at many a shore.
Hank's internet may die.Oh me, oh my.The odds are creeping down.Who will have the #1 crown?
Odds = Topped UpLikely To Fill Your Cup
Are your bets in? Who will get the win? Hmm, you probably already know as this is read as a comment has been put to bed. Was number one you? Ever get stuck on the road thanks to a toad at your zoo? Maybe the toad couldn't hop because it had bad gas? Just a thought from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Halloween Nut In An Odd Rut!

That title could be taken all wrong. But so can Donkey Kong. No butt crack or things to mate. Candy Kong must not find him much of a date. Wow, went off there. Back to the odds at my lair.

Theresa's Mixed Nuts Odds Are In Downward Ruts
Halloween Nazi is here.Odds are something to fear.Since the cat outed her,She's scared people right out of their fur.
Hey, some people are furry.So hairy they make eyes blurry.She scared them out of that.Maybe they'll thank her where she's at.
But not everyone else out there.They now know to beware.The Halloween Nazi will scare.She may pull out their hair.
She has spells.Much like wishing wells.Hey, let's pretend they work.To her ego it's a perk.
The town wants her on a stake.Don't worry, the fire is fake.But that could still be had.Odds are lower at her pad.
She has mutts too.She may slip in poo.Landmines galore.Odds are now something of lore.
Was that a dirty look to the cat?Did you just see that she did that?Odds go lower just for the look.Yeah, I control the odds at my nook.
Or at least I pretend.Them I won't amend.So get your bets in.Is she still giving posts a spin?
Oh, and don't forget the honey.She thinks it is sunny.She may cause bees to attack.They may attack by the pack.
Offed by psycho bees.Worse than fleas on knees?Both are pretty pad.The odds are in for her pad.
Odds = Highly LowBetter Than Lowly Low You Know
Don't fear her voodoo. You can make it through. Are you Halloween crazy too? A few months and it shall come due. Ever get attacked by killer bees? I may be wrong on her blog freeze. I think I am wrong on a lot. But the odds are come up with by some statistics robot. The cat can't help how they amass. Now get your bets in to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Odd We Go With A Little Snow!

I know, such a yucky word. Well unless you are Betsy and a bit absurd. Piles of snow is sure not for me. But that you knew at my sea. Now on with it. The odds have to be lit.

Snowcatcher Odds Try And Snatcher
This looks grim.Better go out on a limb.Place your bets.Don't put up assets.
For she's on a bike.Or maybe out for a hike.Both near the woods.Got her goods.
As in camera and bike.No gutter to strike.Oh, there's a thief.Photos gone, good grief.
Wait, the thief was high.A very stupid guy.Colorado living at its best.He was nothing but a pest.
But look and stare.She's not aware.It's a big grizzly bear.Take a pic if you dare.
She sure dared.The grizzly bear cared.Cared a tad too much.He reached out to touch.
Out hiking away.Found a mountain display.Whoops, found a crazy mountain hermit too.Odds go lower just from his view.
Taking pics near and far.Maybe catch the license plate of car.It's an America's Most Wanted guy.Down the odds sure fly.
But wait, there is hope.No need to mope.Rocks and yarn abound.They litter the ground.
Patterns will still show.Odds aren't as low.May still be wise to bet a little.Like only the cost of a skittle.
Odds = That Of Snow In Summer.Damn, That Is Just A Bummer.
What was that? She's still where she is at? Was the cat wrong? Were the odds not as long? Hey, a crazy mountain hermit makes odds go way down. I can't help she may have them in her town. Ever face a grizzly bear? I hope you didn't stop and stare. That is not a wise move to let come to pass. On that you can trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Vanishing Act Kinda Pact!

The ninja wannabe is here. Is that not clear? The wannabe part gives him away. For he is seen at many a bay on many a day. What more can I say? It turns out a lot. But that is a lesson you need not be taught.

Alex J Cavanaugh aka Ninja Wannabe Odds He Will Miss This Post From Me
A ninja attack.It may kinda lack.Can see him coming.May even start humming.
Hey, he can sing.So a weird ninja ring?Mini Alex isn't so great.That's why he became a litter box mate.
He hurt the cat's ears.But he shed no tears.At least he could never wet the bed.Then he popped off his head.
What were the odds?Care for some fishing rods?I'm beating around the bush?Maybe the bush with the tush?
That I may be.Easy for me.Told you I can talk.At least I don't squawk.
Why you may ask?Odds are an easy task.Still movies that are showing?Yep, even if in remakes are blowing.
Still music at play?Yep, any old day.IWSG still running?Wasn't my last week's post stunning?
Are TV shows still on?Yep, from dusk to dawn.And dawn to dusk.May even see an elephant tusk.
The Gawker likes animal mating.His discovery channel gets no hating.So that tells you it there.Plenty of TV to spare.
So with all of that,Plenty at his blog mat.Only odds you have to find,Is that of the vacation kind.
Odds = 99.99%Unless On Vacation He Went
Well he could decide to go full ninja too and just disappear from view. But the mini one would give him away. He probably still stinks from his litter foray. Seen the ninja wannabe around? Do you think animal mating shows astound? Maybe you and The Gawker can have a thrill. Discovery channel fits the bill. I even got an agreement from the singing bass. This one has near perfect odds according to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.