Pat Hatt's Blog, page 77

Here To Flip The Offending Trip!

We all know, even those who are rather slow, that humans gets offended by anything these days. The cat just thinks they are lost in some silly maze. One their brain doesn't want to get through. They'd rather be offended by you.

A simple task laid.
Stuck up to see.
No statement made.
Just the belief of thee.

No push on others.
No tirade or spiel.
No talk of mothers,
Like some 90's ordeal.

Just a simple notion.
A one and done.
Oops, a commotion.
Out to offend everyone.

It offends my belief.
It offends my sight.
It causes me grief.
I'll think about it all night.

This is my retort.
Take that, you.
You I'll report,
What I say is true.

I'm the one?
Me and not you?
Don't be a nun.
That isn't true.

My words are truth.
You offended me.
Here in my booth,
I'm king, you see.

Mine was a statement?
Yours was just a share?
Oh, go and get bent.
You put it out there.

That's offending to me.
Pushing your views like that.
What? I didn't have to come see?
There was no welcome mat?

I saw your hidden meaning.
Now I'm offended in every way.
You need a censor screening.
Truth is every word that I say.

Pffft to such nuts. They can go sniff dog butts. The only ones offending in such cases are the offendees. As they get offended by a breeze. Then what they say is oh so true. I think the cat telling them to pound sand up their ass may come due. Whoops, did I let that slip? Damn, I offended so many with that little blip. Notice how the offendees are usually the offenders? Maybe they need to get beaten up by The Defenders? The cat does enjoy offending such a low tier human class. For they can just suck on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Find A Groove To Always Improve?

Some humans say to always improve. On that point they never move. And would you believe in some cases that is a lie? I shocked you? Oh me, oh my.

Get in the groove,
To always improve.
Shake and move.
Easy to prove.

A better skill.
Fits the bill.
Practice each day.
Learn a new way.

Simple or hard.
Cm or a yard.
The change is great.
So improve, mate.

Improve your learning.
Improve your turning.
Improve your writing.
Improving is igniting.

Improve a spoon...
Don't be a loon.
That can't be done.
Damn, ended the fun.

Improve ass wipe...
Do you have a gripe?
Just take the leap.
Don't buy cheap.

Improve your plate...
Yep, a great idea mate.
Make it wash itself and cook the food.
Put everyone in a good mood.

Improve your shoe laces...
Yeah, love such embraces.
Tying different color improves it.
I better get on that shit.

Improve your cat...
Pffft, damn that.
We are God.
Bow down, human cod.

But can always improve.
I won't budge or move.
No matter what you say.
Improve with each day.

The cat can always prove humans wrong. Did you think of such things with the improving spiel of each ding dong? It is said every day in some sort of way. In most cases it is good and can be done. In others, not so much with an improving run. Can't improve tp or spoons. Take that, improving loons. The cat would like to improve the singing bass. Needs a new song to sing to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Fill The Gap You Silly Sap!

Point A to Point B is where you go. But there is a middle you know. Wait, you do? I guess you are one with a clue. Other humans tend not to have one. I guess they think fake things like luck will be spun.

I've got a plan.
I'm a big fan.
Here's where I start.
Start with a fart.

As I know where to end.
No need to amend.
Start and end done.
Time to enjoy the sun.

Awww, such a nice day.
I think I'll go play.
Time just slipped away.
Not enough hours in the day.

I still have my start.
I've filled my cart.
I'll soon fill the gap.
Everyone will stand and clap.

Oh, there's a new game.
I'm ready to kill and maim.
Come here you online troll.
Such a noob as you stroll.

My ending is still in tact.
That is still a fact.
I'll close the gap,
It'll fall in my lap.

Netflix has that show.
Always wanted to give it a go.
Let's watch all 100 episodes this week.
A sure fire challenge at my creek.

It seems so far.
My start is on par.
My end is still there.
I have no time to spare.

You want to go play ball?
Sure, I hear that call.
I bet I help you win.
Let's give it a spin.

What was it?
Start some hit?
End it that way?
Forget it, time to play.

Does the gap scare you? Can't do it at your zoo? Poor poor you has no time and such? Pfffft the cat says more than a touch. A start and finish gets one nowhere at all if all they do it make excuses and stall. Could have the best idea for whatever and you can think it oh so clever. But if you are afraid of the gap between Point A and Point B. Whoopsy, may as well go climb a tree. Or maybe you should go roll in the grass. That is enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

To Impress With Less!

Wow, the cat can look good. Not hard in our hood. There are so many of them around that it is easy for good to be found. What's around? Follow along as we exit the pound.

Life is easy.
Life is great.
Not to sound cheesy,
But work I hate.

I live off my mother.
I live off my dad.
I sponge off my brother.
The government gives me a tad.

What more do I need?
I can sit on my ass.
Move at one speed,
And use another's gas.

The food bank is there.
Other hand outs too.
Life sure is fair.
If only everyone knew.

I'm living the high life.
I've got it made.
Not even for a wife,
Would this life I trade.

Work? What's that?
Such a foreign word.
I live like a cat.
So don't be absurd.

I'll get it done.
Next year maybe.
I live for fun.
Don't press me.

Don't push.
Don't shove.
Oh shush,
You above.

What was that?
Cut off and done?
I'm like a gnat?
Boy, you're no fun.

Hey, how are you?
Would you let me stay?
Sister, you have no clue,
Time to sponge away.

Just wow, the cat has to raise an eyebrow. There are so many around that are just fine doing nothing at all. Sponging away they do at their hall. They always find a way as well. Know any spongers where you dwell? There are so many around here. I've seen them giving many a cheer. They make the cat's output seem even more great. Pathetic they are at any rate. Now I'm done with my lazy person sass and I think I'll go rest my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

To The Hilt Comes The Guilt!

The cat just shrugs it off and trots away. I may make you feel it at the end of the day. Ignoring you for being gone so long. After all, leaving all day is just so wrong. Catch on yet? You will with this pet.

Out to work.
So not a perk.
With the 9-5,
You try and survive.

Slaving away.
Out all day.
Can't stay and play.
Need that pay.

Kids get less time.
That's just a crime.
Pets see you less.
House is a mess.

Spouse isn't around.
No one is found.
Tired at the end.
Guilt becomes a trend.

I'm not there.
Must think I don't care.
Those poor dears.
They must shed tears.

Therapy will come.
A need and then some.
From all my neglect.
Time I did deflect.

Gag me a bit.
Who needs that shit?
Stay whelmed each day.
Guilt won't stay.

Guilt you made.
Let it fade.
For it's easy to defeat,
Even if not sweet.

Guilt where there's none,
Now that sure isn't fun.
Poor poor you.
Weighs heavy, so true.

Err umm, not!
Add to the plot.
They aren't living on the street.
Hmm, maybe life is sweet.

Do you let stupid guilt come over you? Pffft to that says the cat at our zoo. Slaving away for pay may suck. But it beats living in the wilderness and bathing in a pond like a duck. So to such guilt you can say fluck and pass the buck. Although you should feel guilty in mass if you miss a post from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

All In The Wrist So Give It A Twist!

The cat likes a good twist, makes you see what could have been missed. The best are when they aren't hyped as can be. The others you can easily see.

A big twist coming,
Many are humming.
You see it in spades.
Your interest wades.

Yep, it was true.
That twist came due.
Oh well, it's done.
Now on with the fun.

What was that?
Chewed no fat.
There was a twist.
That I surely missed.

Out of left field.
Sure didn't yield.
Now off I go talking,
After a little more gawking.

Whoops, spoilers now.
It no longer will wow.
Isn't that lame?
The twist is now tame.

I guess there is a twist.
With a flick of the wrist.
The twist gets a twist.
No longer is it missed.

Or the twist of the twist,
Leaves some pissed.
They read it online.
Whoops, that isn't fine.

Umm, twist their words.
Go play with the birds.
For the twist of the rub,
You went to the site, bub.

No one made you.
You came to view.
How's that for a twist?
Now go and be pissed.

Of course another twist,
With a flick of the wrist,
Is you may get a blister,
From falling over at Twister.

All twisted up today? Like a good twist at your bay? Did you see Twister coming? That just fit in with my rhyme humming. Or would that be typing? Bah, not talking as we aren't Skyping. I'll stop twisting words in mass and just twist off with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Oh Dear, We're Going Super Clear!

You heard that right. Today I am going to rhyme at my site. Don't get confused by that. I am a rhyming cat. Don't worry, I won't make your eyes go blurry. At least for 99.99% of people out there. So most eyes I will spare.

Today is a rhyme
Rhyming is a chime.
It can take many forms.
ABAB or AABB are the norms.

For example this is AABB.
It is so clear and easy to see.
The last words will rhyme twice in a row.
You got it now, I know.

By a rhyme at my site,
I don't mean you have to take flight.
I mean by my blog on the Internet.
If you don't get it, don't fret.

You have a modem and log on.
A password will need to dawn.
Your internet provider gives you it.
You sign in where you sit.

Sitting is when your bum is on something.
Like the throne of a king.
Picture him and you'll get sitting.
That example was rather fitting.

Next you open your browser,
Don't go searching for Bowser.
Him and Mario are far away.
What was that I heard you say?

Yes, they are fictional video game guys.
Video games are so full of lies.
You can't jump down a hole and survive.
There is no checkpoint to bring you back alive.

A checkpoint is a saved place in a game.
There you can return if you die and are lame.
Death is the wrong choice of words though.
More like you didn't make it so have to go back to go.

Now you have to type in rhyming cat.
It can be anything sorta like that.
Then links will show up from whatever you searched in,
And you can take each one for a spin.

By that I mean you click on each.
Take your mouse and hit click to teach.
Now you may or may not have found my place.
You'll get there. Just keep that smile on your face.

Was that clear enough for you? The cat tried at his zoo.I think I hawked up a hairball there somewhere. Are you that super clear at your lair? Do you need someone to be that clear? It would drive me to be a non rhyming rear. We can't have that ever come to pass. So I guess I'll stick to being a not so clear little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Tarsier Man Return As Out New Tales Churn!

The bug eyed creep is back. This makes 19 adventures for him at my shack. How can he have so many? A bug eyed creep shouldn't have any. Fans seem to like him though. So away we go.

Tarsier Man was winning.
Then bugs started spinning.
They were kind of thugs
Those nasty old bugs.

They sent him in a hole.
It was quite the stroll.
He went down, down, down,
Finding a whole new crown.

Even got freaky love.
Now he has to get above.
Kisses and hugs.
Blah to the bugs.





Click Here For A Peer!
Tarsier Man was on a stroll.No one was there to see his patrol.The place was bare.No humans to spare.
But he searched away.Found many on display.They were buying cars.Looked like drunks at bars.
The evil car people had them in a stupor.Each thought their deal was super.Tarsier Man had to save the day.The car people were taking all their pay.




Click Here For A Peer!
Borlin was out and about.
He got many a shout.
He knew something was wrong.
Not wanting to play along.

He found Tarsier Man,
After beating back the clan.
Then everything went wackadoo.
All had a polka dot view.

They had to find the polka dot creep.
Those polka dots were going deep.
They were tacky too.
What could they do?





Click Here For A Peer!
That makes three more that has come ashore. About 116 now at play. Tarsier Man sure likes to put on the weird come what may. Ever deal with nasty car people at your sea? Call Tarsier Man and he'll set you free. A fee may come to pass. Hey, he's not as nice as my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

New Fees For You At My Zoo!

You better get your credit card ready. New fees are going to come at you steady. You will have to pay more just to visit my shore. What for? Bah, that's something of lore.

It's the same post.
Length and rhyme at my coast.
It's the same cat,
Even still Cassie and Pat.

But we're upping fees.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
So they are being increased.
Hey, at least we aren't a TV priest.

The content still the same.
Making fun of things humans claim.
The time is even in check.
Another post is always on deck.

But we're upping fees.
Just because we please.
Oh, I mean because we're broke.
Yeah, that's it, so don't choke.

No increased cost on our end.
Nothing in the mail we have to send.
Actually it got cheaper for us.
But shhhhh that may cause a fuss.

Because we're upping fees.
Like high socks to your knees.
They are being upped today.
So get ready to pay.

We're just oh so overworked.
Around our bodies are jerked.
It is just no fun.
So we'll charge everyone.

As we up our fees.
Have to keep away fleas.
Get ready to pay.
Don't forget to have a nice day.

Not even a new design.
The same spotted feline.
The same blog pics and such.
But we'll up them more than a touch.

Because we can do what we please.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
We need to take it all from you.
So look for increased fees to come due.

Pfffffft damn whiny sites out there. Making money by the bucket load at their lair. Oh, but they are still soooo poor. They have to charge more. Or charge other fees back to you. Who needs business expenses coming due. Nothing else changes but the fees. Yeah, I'd like to send fleas to all their knees. Ever see such sites like this come to pass? They can all kiss my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Body Part Taken To Heart!

Look, I did it right there. Are you on the ball today at your lair? If you are then you'll get this fast. Maybe you can then go have a blast. What will you blast? Beats the hell out of this cast.

Taken to heart.
Wow, that's a start.
You put it inside you?
Damn, did death come due?

Scratching your head?
Yeah, that gets said.
Do you sit like a monkey?
You may look rather funky.

Tickled your funny bone?
Is the funny bone known?
Do you stick your fingers right through the skin?
They call that a need to go to the loony bin.

On the nose.
There she blows.
Snot and whatever.
A brown nosing endeavor?

Caught someone's eye?
Blah, nasty to this rhyming guy.
Did they pop it out and throw it to you?
That is so ewww.

Give someone a hand.
Isn't that grand.
Your very own Thing.
I can just hear the cha-ching.

Give them the finger?
One is more pivotal to no longer linger?
Can you tell me which one you gave?
I bet you are now all the rave.

Foot in your mouth?
Damn, does it head south?
From mouth to ass.
That foot must have class.

Lend an ear.
That would cause fear.
How do you get it back on?
Sure it's not a con?

A broken heart.
You sure are falling apart.
Maybe you need stitches.
Or were you cursed by witches?

See how fun going literal can be? All of those turn out rather nasty at any sea. Some can even bring on death as a taken heart means you breathed your last breath. Silly humans and their sayings. So many of them get repeat playings. The cat will stick to his known sass and just end things with his little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.