Pat Hatt's Blog, page 81
June 7, 2017
Watered Down Without A Frown!
Watered down?That makes you frown?I did say without.What's the frown about?
Think I'd water it down?Stop you from entering confusion town?Pfffft don't worry about that.I'm still a confusing cat.
I can amuse.So I confuse,As you peruse,But that's not news.
Not insecure here?That is clear.But that you knew.Damn, stop it, you.
Now I have to think.Wait, I need a drink.Ahh, I got something new.New to you.
We interrupt this post to bring you breaking news.
Be sure to send away to give all clues.
Click Here for a peer.
Helping all far and near
You can send even if you're a mime.Now back to our regularly scheduled rhyme.Water and summer.Sure not a bummer.Beats the heat.Cools the feet.
But is that all?Do you stall?Nothing but a feet cooler?Should I get a ruler?
Oh, you went in.Is it a win?Wait, just the kiddie end?Is shallow your friend?
Wading with the kiddie pee. Wow, what a way to be.No wonder insecurities are around.Urine in the pool is found.
Now you're in the deep end.You bucked the insecure trend.And even if you sink.You never know what's at the bottom of the drink.
You could find new treasure at the bottom. Then get a hit come autumn. Or something else could come due. So go down in the water isn't always bad for you. Of course if you literally go down that may make you frown. Would suck to be dead. So don't take literally what I said. Look at those wise words that came to pass. Damn, I even surprised my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
June 6, 2017
Rugrat Ville Fits The Bill!
The cat sees you humans all the time. A rugrat gives an embarrassing chime. You then let them off without even a simple scoff. Of course they have very little filter in their mind but why keep it at one of a kind?
The hair puller is here.
They are something to fear.
We just run away.
Not joining that fray.
They say something bad.
At least a tad.
They get away with it.
Would you look at that shit.
No second thoughts.
They say things lots.
Each time getting away with their wonder,
Even when you get an embarrassing blunder.
That amuses the cat.
I can sit and watch that.
No ill will is even had.
None end up sad.
Just smile and away they go.
The rugrats rule the show.
Or maybe that is you.
You shrug off what comes due.
Isn't that a perk?
A perk that could work.
Logic says it is so.
No need for a foe.
Critics hate you.
Hate what came due.
There are always some,
Who like to talk out their bum.
Treat them the same.
They are far more lame,
But shrug off their claim.
Childish fools all the same.
What they say is wild.
Ignore the big child.
What they say is simple?
Treat them like a pimple.
Each time it's the same,
You shrug off their claim.
The rugrat conundrum wins out.
You no longer care what they shout.
Think that would work? Could be a new perk. Treat it like what your kid spilled to the grocery clerk. Just smile and ignore a critical jerk. Good feedback is fine indeed. But with nasty people follow your own lead. Don't let it bother you. They are just childish too. Hopefully no one has to change a diaper on them though. That would be nastier than a hair puller foe. So leave them in their own little "can't bother me" class. Much like the rugrats that try and pull the hair on my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
The hair puller is here.
They are something to fear.
We just run away.
Not joining that fray.
They say something bad.
At least a tad.
They get away with it.
Would you look at that shit.
No second thoughts.
They say things lots.
Each time getting away with their wonder,
Even when you get an embarrassing blunder.
That amuses the cat.
I can sit and watch that.
No ill will is even had.
None end up sad.
Just smile and away they go.
The rugrats rule the show.
Or maybe that is you.
You shrug off what comes due.
Isn't that a perk?
A perk that could work.
Logic says it is so.
No need for a foe.
Critics hate you.
Hate what came due.
There are always some,
Who like to talk out their bum.
Treat them the same.
They are far more lame,
But shrug off their claim.
Childish fools all the same.
What they say is wild.
Ignore the big child.
What they say is simple?
Treat them like a pimple.
Each time it's the same,
You shrug off their claim.
The rugrat conundrum wins out.
You no longer care what they shout.
Think that would work? Could be a new perk. Treat it like what your kid spilled to the grocery clerk. Just smile and ignore a critical jerk. Good feedback is fine indeed. But with nasty people follow your own lead. Don't let it bother you. They are just childish too. Hopefully no one has to change a diaper on them though. That would be nastier than a hair puller foe. So leave them in their own little "can't bother me" class. Much like the rugrats that try and pull the hair on my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
June 5, 2017
The Looky Lou Within You!
Are you a looky lou? Do you stop at accidents and gawk up the view? That is rather sad but we aren't going there at our pad. Nope, there is another looky lou. They are about as productive as what gets flushed at their zoo.
I'm ready for new.
I'm ready for change.
My words ring true.
They sure have range.
I bought this cookbook.
It has healthy recipes galore.
I gave it a good long look,
Now McDonald's is in store.
I signed up for a class.
Something I always wanted to learn.
But I stayed home on my ass,
Damn, there is no refunds or return.
I started a new hobby.
I bought what is needed.
I left it in a hotel lobby.
At least the thought was seeded.
I thought up a name.
I know the site address.
But I have nothing to claim.
Who needs a blog mess?
I applied for a job.
It sure sounds grand.
But I remained a snob,
Didn't even go shake a hand.
I booked a trip.
I'll go across the world.
By plane, train and ship.
Whoops, home I stayed curled.
I have a million dollar idea for a book.
I know it will be so great.
My blank pages are so worth a look.
A million bucks is my fate.
I've got myself a date.
Haven't had one in a while.
This one may be fate.
I'll stay in as dating isn't my style.
I'm ready for new.
I'm ready for change.
My words lie to you,
But don't think me strange.
Are you a looky lou like that? If so, you get a head shake from the cat. Wasting money and sitting on your bum. Now there is something to do and then some. The looky lou at least exercises their eyes I suppose. That may help, who knows. I'll stick with doing and providing sass. It's much more productive to my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
I'm ready for new.
I'm ready for change.
My words ring true.
They sure have range.
I bought this cookbook.
It has healthy recipes galore.
I gave it a good long look,
Now McDonald's is in store.
I signed up for a class.
Something I always wanted to learn.
But I stayed home on my ass,
Damn, there is no refunds or return.
I started a new hobby.
I bought what is needed.
I left it in a hotel lobby.
At least the thought was seeded.
I thought up a name.
I know the site address.
But I have nothing to claim.
Who needs a blog mess?
I applied for a job.
It sure sounds grand.
But I remained a snob,
Didn't even go shake a hand.
I booked a trip.
I'll go across the world.
By plane, train and ship.
Whoops, home I stayed curled.
I have a million dollar idea for a book.
I know it will be so great.
My blank pages are so worth a look.
A million bucks is my fate.
I've got myself a date.
Haven't had one in a while.
This one may be fate.
I'll stay in as dating isn't my style.
I'm ready for new.
I'm ready for change.
My words lie to you,
But don't think me strange.
Are you a looky lou like that? If so, you get a head shake from the cat. Wasting money and sitting on your bum. Now there is something to do and then some. The looky lou at least exercises their eyes I suppose. That may help, who knows. I'll stick with doing and providing sass. It's much more productive to my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
June 4, 2017
A Little Prevention Gets A Mention!
I prevent myself from missing a post as I stay ahead at my coast. See how easy that is? Way to go with the prevention biz. I guess I'll see where this goes, but I won't prevent myself from stepping on toes. Or chewing a few. Yeah, I do that too.
A little prevention,
Deserves a mention.
It needs some attention.
Attention to prevention.
A helmet on the head,
Makes you not dead.
Unless whacked in another part.
Like the dear old heart.
Playing it straight,
Prevents a jail fate.
Unless straight in bad,
Then the slammer may be had.
A posture correct,
Helps you stay erect.
Unless stabbed in the back,
May give erect some flack.
A little walk each day,
Prevents a bad body on display.
Unless you eat piles of crap.
Then you may as well just take a nap.
A little look around,
Prevents a bad cat or hound.
Unless you look to late,
Then smashed things may be your fate.
A few words a day,
Prevents no writing on display.
Unless all you do is say,
Then none will come your way.
A stop at a sign,
Prevents a jail time align.
Unless another doesn't stop,
Then you'll still need a cop.
A refraining from buying,
Prevents the need for lying.
Unless the bills are the liar,
Then set them on fire.
A lot of prevention,
Need not a mention.
Odds are at attention,
With a little prevention.
Do you do the prevention? Or are you more of a risk the detention? Or maybe risk death when you could have prevented your last breath. The latter may be dumb to do if a little prevention will see you through. A lot of prevention is rather restricting though. Can't always prevent what you don't know. But odds are most of what you do won't happen to you. As long as a little prevention comes to pass. Just don't try to prevent the rhyming of my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
A little prevention,
Deserves a mention.
It needs some attention.
Attention to prevention.
A helmet on the head,
Makes you not dead.
Unless whacked in another part.
Like the dear old heart.
Playing it straight,
Prevents a jail fate.
Unless straight in bad,
Then the slammer may be had.
A posture correct,
Helps you stay erect.
Unless stabbed in the back,
May give erect some flack.
A little walk each day,
Prevents a bad body on display.
Unless you eat piles of crap.
Then you may as well just take a nap.
A little look around,
Prevents a bad cat or hound.
Unless you look to late,
Then smashed things may be your fate.
A few words a day,
Prevents no writing on display.
Unless all you do is say,
Then none will come your way.
A stop at a sign,
Prevents a jail time align.
Unless another doesn't stop,
Then you'll still need a cop.
A refraining from buying,
Prevents the need for lying.
Unless the bills are the liar,
Then set them on fire.
A lot of prevention,
Need not a mention.
Odds are at attention,
With a little prevention.
Do you do the prevention? Or are you more of a risk the detention? Or maybe risk death when you could have prevented your last breath. The latter may be dumb to do if a little prevention will see you through. A lot of prevention is rather restricting though. Can't always prevent what you don't know. But odds are most of what you do won't happen to you. As long as a little prevention comes to pass. Just don't try to prevent the rhyming of my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
June 3, 2017
It's A Race So Keep A Steady Pace!
The cat likes to run here and there and you humans sure do it without a care. There is also the rat race too. But we've been there done that at our zoo. A new race is had. Can you keep up at your pad?
Ready, start, go!
Get your ducks in a row.
Hey, some may own ducks.
Cheaper than trucks.
Oh yeah, the race.
Born with a scrunchy face.
Elmer Fudd you resemble.
At least there's no disassemble.
Now you must speak.
Speak fast at your creek.
You must also walk and talk.
Or maybe talk and walk.
Now you must learn quick.
Everything is your pick.
Learn it all and get ahead.
Don't just lie there in bed.
Now you must choose a school.
Those big names sure rule.
Now you must get in and out.
Hmm not talking twist and shout.
That comes very soon.
First a job that shoots for the moon.
Work your way up from day one.
Kiss ass and brown nose a ton.
Now it's the twist and shout.
Let everything hang out.
Get married and have kids.
No time to take bids.
Now raise them really fast.
Back we go to the past.
Elmer Fudd needs to talk right away.
Get on that at your bay.
Walk and talk,
Learn and gawk.
Been there, done that.
Repeat, repeat, repeat each stat.
Now just die.
Wave goodbye.
The race is done.
Wait, you never won?
Pfffft a race is when you run and there is a winner. Not like some The Game Of Life spinner. Get everything that everyone else does. Just much much faster just because. That will prop you up and you'll win. Win what when you are done in? A fancy casket or little urn? Wowee, that is sure something to earn. On racing through life we'll take a pass. But I'll still race around the house with my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Ready, start, go!
Get your ducks in a row.
Hey, some may own ducks.
Cheaper than trucks.
Oh yeah, the race.
Born with a scrunchy face.
Elmer Fudd you resemble.
At least there's no disassemble.
Now you must speak.
Speak fast at your creek.
You must also walk and talk.
Or maybe talk and walk.
Now you must learn quick.
Everything is your pick.
Learn it all and get ahead.
Don't just lie there in bed.
Now you must choose a school.
Those big names sure rule.
Now you must get in and out.
Hmm not talking twist and shout.
That comes very soon.
First a job that shoots for the moon.
Work your way up from day one.
Kiss ass and brown nose a ton.
Now it's the twist and shout.
Let everything hang out.
Get married and have kids.
No time to take bids.
Now raise them really fast.
Back we go to the past.
Elmer Fudd needs to talk right away.
Get on that at your bay.
Walk and talk,
Learn and gawk.
Been there, done that.
Repeat, repeat, repeat each stat.
Now just die.
Wave goodbye.
The race is done.
Wait, you never won?
Pfffft a race is when you run and there is a winner. Not like some The Game Of Life spinner. Get everything that everyone else does. Just much much faster just because. That will prop you up and you'll win. Win what when you are done in? A fancy casket or little urn? Wowee, that is sure something to earn. On racing through life we'll take a pass. But I'll still race around the house with my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
June 2, 2017
A Helpful Way Here Today!
The cat figured he would be nice and help out. I told a few and they never knew it was about. Makes things easier comes to pass. On that you can trust my little rhyming ass.
What do we have here?Jello to fear?Nah, nothing like that.Who needs that scat?
Instead let's help,Before all yelp.I'm being helpful soon.I am a mouthy loon.
Say you wrote a story.All done in its glory.Whoops, a word needs to change.Oh no, that word has range.
You need to change them all.One by one wastes time at any hall.So hit ctrl+f in word.Then flip the one by one the bird.
Type in what you want changed.Hit replace all so it's rearranged. Poof, a minute instead of an hour.Now that is time saving power.
But ctrl+f is not through.Say you come to a yappy zoo.Like Blue here yapping about his shoe.You want to find the retort to you.
Hit ctrl+f at your sea.Type what you want to come to be.Then you can scroll through the page to your name,Or whatever other word you claim.
Did you hit it yet?That may be a safe bet.See how easy it is?But wait, there's a quiz.
What do you press in Word?Hint: it allows you to flip one by one the bird.Not that a computer cares about a finger.But it may feel good to let it linger.
What do you press in any internet window?Hint: it makes what you want easy to find and show.Not that you really want to skip.But sometimes you may just want to give me lip.
Did you know about those little tricks? Can get things done with a few clicks. A few I told never knew one bit. So I figured just in case I would share it. Helps a lot when you have to change many things at once because when you wrote it you were umm kinda a dunce. Yeah, been there done that in mass. No need to thank my ctrl+f - ing little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
What do we have here?Jello to fear?Nah, nothing like that.Who needs that scat?
Instead let's help,Before all yelp.I'm being helpful soon.I am a mouthy loon.
Say you wrote a story.All done in its glory.Whoops, a word needs to change.Oh no, that word has range.
You need to change them all.One by one wastes time at any hall.So hit ctrl+f in word.Then flip the one by one the bird.
Type in what you want changed.Hit replace all so it's rearranged. Poof, a minute instead of an hour.Now that is time saving power.
But ctrl+f is not through.Say you come to a yappy zoo.Like Blue here yapping about his shoe.You want to find the retort to you.
Hit ctrl+f at your sea.Type what you want to come to be.Then you can scroll through the page to your name,Or whatever other word you claim.
Did you hit it yet?That may be a safe bet.See how easy it is?But wait, there's a quiz.
What do you press in Word?Hint: it allows you to flip one by one the bird.Not that a computer cares about a finger.But it may feel good to let it linger.
What do you press in any internet window?Hint: it makes what you want easy to find and show.Not that you really want to skip.But sometimes you may just want to give me lip.
Did you know about those little tricks? Can get things done with a few clicks. A few I told never knew one bit. So I figured just in case I would share it. Helps a lot when you have to change many things at once because when you wrote it you were umm kinda a dunce. Yeah, been there done that in mass. No need to thank my ctrl+f - ing little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
June 1, 2017
Purr Empire Part Four Takes A Facility Tour!
We finally landed and I was left wishing we had kept falling. What we saw was very appalling. At least the vet put us under when he did the snip snip. I never thought I would ever long for a vet trip.
"Drazin thinks Drazin just threw up in Drazin's mouth a bit."
"I'm with him." Pat tried not the hurl or scream like a little girl.
We had appeared in some lab, in case you did not guess, and it was one screwed up mess. Animals dressed in hazmat suits were fixing humans left and right. As they did, the humans regressed on site. I guess that is why the gutter must always be on their brain. It keeps them from boarding the regressed caveman train. They also threw their parts in a furnace like thing. Never again will I play with a mouse on a string.
"Let's scram before they notice us and start singing." Cassie tried to find an exit door while we watched some more. It was so nasty we could not look away. Or we are just perverts as they were all naked, what can I say.
"Keep it up. This is how we fix the humans, fix the humans, fix the humans. This is how we fixed the humans all day long." Silver Fox was dressed like Santa as he gave his cheer. I guess he thought presents were near. Yeah, he was a silver talking fox. Not so out of the box.
He marched passed us still humming his tune. Thankfully, he never caused Pat and Drazin to become as stiff as a spoon. I guess they have to sing directly at humans to make them fall. That or he just could not sing at all.
"Mud? Who brought mud in here? Was it you, bud?" Silver Fox pointed to the nearest guy and I stared at the bare feet of that Drazin guy. It was the godly mook who had brought mud in. This was clearly a battle we had to win.
"Damn this. Let's go, Miss Priss." I hopped out and Cassie stopped looking for a door. Pat and Drazin stayed hidden for a little more.
"Don't call me that, you little pain in the..."
"Get the digressed felines. They could infect us all and mess with blood lines." Silver Fox pointed to his crew and the chase began to ensue.
"Any infection would be an improvement on you. Sorry, weird fox santa thing, but it's true." I hopped on the heads of a few, as they crashed into each other and stuck like glue. I am sure the substance was not glue. But I will leave that determination up to you.
"For talking animals, you sure are dumber than most humans." Cassie egged them on and they fell for her con. They ran at her and got stuck to the wall. Fixing humans has to be one of the nastiest things of all.
"I will not stand for such incompetence."
"Does that mean you are getting down on all fours?" Cassie snickered as Silver Fox bickered.
"Don't interrupt me, feline. I shall stop you and all will be fine." Silver Fox focused on us while all his lackeys were stuck and unable to kick up a fuss. We kept his attention through it all while Pat and Drazin freed the humans who could still stand tall.
"Brandon, what do you call a fixed human?"
"No longer screwed?"
"A fixer with no upper." Brandon laughed over his corny joke, annoying that godly bloke.
"Why did you free those two? Drazin knew they would be here somewhere. Drazin would rather have them fixed."
"Quiet, demon. Thou shall not fix another human."
"Why would Drazin do that? Drazin will just snap their neck. Less messy."
"Bryan, I think it's time to go."
"Not so merry Santa and his elves are in the know."
The Beer Guys skedaddled through a secret passage way and the rest of the freed humans followed with little to say. Silver Fox glared at Drazin and Pat. He tried to sing, but they were having none of that.
"Sick em." Drazin freed the humans that were snip snipped. We ran through Silver Fox's legs and caused him to be tripped. The snipped humans surrounded Silver Fox. They stared at him like I do Pat's socks.
"You have not won. I will never be done. I can stop humans such as these. They are no more wise that ancient fleas." Silver Fox hummed his merry tune but it did not work for the loon. The snipped humans pounced him and then went after his lackey crew. What was left I am sure I do not need to tell you.
"See, fleabags? That is how you obey a command."
"And this is how you ignore a godly mook." Cassie pranced on by, nearly tripping Drazin into the furnace with the pieces of each girl and guy.
"Drazin will still turn you into slippers, fleabag."
"Fat chance, demon."
"Oh shut up, Pat. We have no time for that." I nudged Pat in the butt and we ran away before we became the scientific experiment of some new nut. The hallway was long and the steel was strong. There was no way to break through. So running and walking and more running came due.
"Bryan, what do you call a door that won't open?"
"Closed off?"
"Hinged."
"That was lame. Get out of Drazin's way." Drazin pushed through the humans and the beer guys. He blended in with his disguise. They were all pretty much as naked as could be. Glad it was dark and I could pretend I could not see.
"So push it open, godly mook."
"Quiet, fleabag." Drazin's eye glowed red and against the door he pressed his head. He then turned the lock and found the code. Who knew he could go all bank robber mode?
"The godly mook is useful for something after all. What do we have behind this stall?" I trotted in and we scored a win. It was a treasure trove of human stuff. Thankfully, of clothes for everyone there was enough.
"Excalibur, how I've missed thee." Pat made love to an old rusty sword. He kissed the thing like he had won some great award.
"Good going, beer nuts. You've trapped our butts." I could find no way out. The beer guys had trapped us in a safe like trout. We were sitting ducks. Even if we were now armed with sticks and hockey pucks.
"Brandon, can beer have nuts?"
"Bryan, maybe we think too much?"
The pair went on about beer having nuts for a while when the door slammed shut and we heard the spinning of the dial. Tig Leader laughed, saying we would all be fixed soon. He really sounded like some bad Saturday morning cartoon.
The humans all shouted and want to be free. They were really hurting the ears of Cassie and me. But a safe is only meant to protect people from getting in and not getting out. So we had that going for us as we remained like trapped trout.
"Excalibur shall cut through and provide escape for all." Pat began whacking at the safe's back wall. We all ignored his crazy call. That is until it worked. Then up our ears perked. "I told thee that Excalibur shall set us free."
"Grenades? Now Drazin can do some damage." Drazin grabbed the grenades out of the safety deposit box Pat had found, laughing as Pat proved sometimes all you need to do is pound.
We used all the other useless crap in the safe to make a barricade and then our hole was made. Drazin chucked the grenades at the wall and they went off, freeing us all. Humans scattered this way and that as we all tried to figure out where we were at.
"This is going to end well." Cassie sighed and climbed some winding stairs. Drazin and Pat followed our cat hairs. We then shoved open some purple door and a giant litter box we once again had to explore. We were on a beach and our freedom was in reach.
"Not so fast. You humans are the past. You felines are too. We rule this planet through and through." Tig Leader stepped in our way. He was not going to let us get away.
"Why don't you go choke up a hairball, fleabag." Drazin grabbed him by the throat but was kicked away by a karate goat.
"Good going, godly mook."
"I'll skin you, fleabag."
"All right, dearie, time to take your flea medication." Pat tried sticking his sword down Tig Leader's throat, but he was also fought back by the karate goat.
"Take them back to the facility and have them fixed. Any plans you had for escape have now been nixed." Tig Leader began to sing when we once again saw that blue thing.
"My shoe! Give me back my shoe, you shoe thief!" Blue Guy yelled and ran our way. That caused the two much dismay.
"This isn't over. You'll never leave Purr Empire as anything but an ancient rover!" Tig Leader shouted and ran away. Him and his karate goat did not want to play.
"Who knew looking for a lost shoe could be so helpful." Pat stepped out into the sun shine and for a moment we felt things were fine.
"You! You've got my shoe." Blue Guy spotted his shoe on another human that had escaped the snip snip. He chased after him and continued to give him lip.
"I guess it was in the safe. Time to go." Cassie took off across the beach and we followed to stay out of Tig Leader's reach. We had no idea where we were going but nothing can be worse than a snip snip human showing. Not even getting your toes stuck in something I left in the sand. A giant litter box sure is grand.
********************
Don't you just want to see a human fixing station now as talking animals make you bow? No? Probably wise at your show. It was not a sight to see. Such things will give you nightmares and no glee. At least the snipped humans took care of Silver Fox though. Him and each lackey foe. Humans are good for something after all. I bet afterwards they found a mall. And so part four has come to pass as things just get crazier from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
"Drazin thinks Drazin just threw up in Drazin's mouth a bit."
"I'm with him." Pat tried not the hurl or scream like a little girl.
We had appeared in some lab, in case you did not guess, and it was one screwed up mess. Animals dressed in hazmat suits were fixing humans left and right. As they did, the humans regressed on site. I guess that is why the gutter must always be on their brain. It keeps them from boarding the regressed caveman train. They also threw their parts in a furnace like thing. Never again will I play with a mouse on a string.
"Let's scram before they notice us and start singing." Cassie tried to find an exit door while we watched some more. It was so nasty we could not look away. Or we are just perverts as they were all naked, what can I say.
"Keep it up. This is how we fix the humans, fix the humans, fix the humans. This is how we fixed the humans all day long." Silver Fox was dressed like Santa as he gave his cheer. I guess he thought presents were near. Yeah, he was a silver talking fox. Not so out of the box.
He marched passed us still humming his tune. Thankfully, he never caused Pat and Drazin to become as stiff as a spoon. I guess they have to sing directly at humans to make them fall. That or he just could not sing at all.
"Mud? Who brought mud in here? Was it you, bud?" Silver Fox pointed to the nearest guy and I stared at the bare feet of that Drazin guy. It was the godly mook who had brought mud in. This was clearly a battle we had to win.
"Damn this. Let's go, Miss Priss." I hopped out and Cassie stopped looking for a door. Pat and Drazin stayed hidden for a little more.
"Don't call me that, you little pain in the..."
"Get the digressed felines. They could infect us all and mess with blood lines." Silver Fox pointed to his crew and the chase began to ensue.
"Any infection would be an improvement on you. Sorry, weird fox santa thing, but it's true." I hopped on the heads of a few, as they crashed into each other and stuck like glue. I am sure the substance was not glue. But I will leave that determination up to you.
"For talking animals, you sure are dumber than most humans." Cassie egged them on and they fell for her con. They ran at her and got stuck to the wall. Fixing humans has to be one of the nastiest things of all.
"I will not stand for such incompetence."
"Does that mean you are getting down on all fours?" Cassie snickered as Silver Fox bickered.
"Don't interrupt me, feline. I shall stop you and all will be fine." Silver Fox focused on us while all his lackeys were stuck and unable to kick up a fuss. We kept his attention through it all while Pat and Drazin freed the humans who could still stand tall.
"Brandon, what do you call a fixed human?"
"No longer screwed?"
"A fixer with no upper." Brandon laughed over his corny joke, annoying that godly bloke.
"Why did you free those two? Drazin knew they would be here somewhere. Drazin would rather have them fixed."
"Quiet, demon. Thou shall not fix another human."
"Why would Drazin do that? Drazin will just snap their neck. Less messy."
"Bryan, I think it's time to go."
"Not so merry Santa and his elves are in the know."
The Beer Guys skedaddled through a secret passage way and the rest of the freed humans followed with little to say. Silver Fox glared at Drazin and Pat. He tried to sing, but they were having none of that.
"Sick em." Drazin freed the humans that were snip snipped. We ran through Silver Fox's legs and caused him to be tripped. The snipped humans surrounded Silver Fox. They stared at him like I do Pat's socks.
"You have not won. I will never be done. I can stop humans such as these. They are no more wise that ancient fleas." Silver Fox hummed his merry tune but it did not work for the loon. The snipped humans pounced him and then went after his lackey crew. What was left I am sure I do not need to tell you.
"See, fleabags? That is how you obey a command."
"And this is how you ignore a godly mook." Cassie pranced on by, nearly tripping Drazin into the furnace with the pieces of each girl and guy.
"Drazin will still turn you into slippers, fleabag."
"Fat chance, demon."
"Oh shut up, Pat. We have no time for that." I nudged Pat in the butt and we ran away before we became the scientific experiment of some new nut. The hallway was long and the steel was strong. There was no way to break through. So running and walking and more running came due.
"Bryan, what do you call a door that won't open?"
"Closed off?"
"Hinged."
"That was lame. Get out of Drazin's way." Drazin pushed through the humans and the beer guys. He blended in with his disguise. They were all pretty much as naked as could be. Glad it was dark and I could pretend I could not see.
"So push it open, godly mook."
"Quiet, fleabag." Drazin's eye glowed red and against the door he pressed his head. He then turned the lock and found the code. Who knew he could go all bank robber mode?
"The godly mook is useful for something after all. What do we have behind this stall?" I trotted in and we scored a win. It was a treasure trove of human stuff. Thankfully, of clothes for everyone there was enough.
"Excalibur, how I've missed thee." Pat made love to an old rusty sword. He kissed the thing like he had won some great award.
"Good going, beer nuts. You've trapped our butts." I could find no way out. The beer guys had trapped us in a safe like trout. We were sitting ducks. Even if we were now armed with sticks and hockey pucks.
"Brandon, can beer have nuts?"
"Bryan, maybe we think too much?"
The pair went on about beer having nuts for a while when the door slammed shut and we heard the spinning of the dial. Tig Leader laughed, saying we would all be fixed soon. He really sounded like some bad Saturday morning cartoon.
The humans all shouted and want to be free. They were really hurting the ears of Cassie and me. But a safe is only meant to protect people from getting in and not getting out. So we had that going for us as we remained like trapped trout.
"Excalibur shall cut through and provide escape for all." Pat began whacking at the safe's back wall. We all ignored his crazy call. That is until it worked. Then up our ears perked. "I told thee that Excalibur shall set us free."
"Grenades? Now Drazin can do some damage." Drazin grabbed the grenades out of the safety deposit box Pat had found, laughing as Pat proved sometimes all you need to do is pound.
We used all the other useless crap in the safe to make a barricade and then our hole was made. Drazin chucked the grenades at the wall and they went off, freeing us all. Humans scattered this way and that as we all tried to figure out where we were at.
"This is going to end well." Cassie sighed and climbed some winding stairs. Drazin and Pat followed our cat hairs. We then shoved open some purple door and a giant litter box we once again had to explore. We were on a beach and our freedom was in reach.
"Not so fast. You humans are the past. You felines are too. We rule this planet through and through." Tig Leader stepped in our way. He was not going to let us get away.
"Why don't you go choke up a hairball, fleabag." Drazin grabbed him by the throat but was kicked away by a karate goat.
"Good going, godly mook."
"I'll skin you, fleabag."
"All right, dearie, time to take your flea medication." Pat tried sticking his sword down Tig Leader's throat, but he was also fought back by the karate goat.
"Take them back to the facility and have them fixed. Any plans you had for escape have now been nixed." Tig Leader began to sing when we once again saw that blue thing.
"My shoe! Give me back my shoe, you shoe thief!" Blue Guy yelled and ran our way. That caused the two much dismay.
"This isn't over. You'll never leave Purr Empire as anything but an ancient rover!" Tig Leader shouted and ran away. Him and his karate goat did not want to play.
"Who knew looking for a lost shoe could be so helpful." Pat stepped out into the sun shine and for a moment we felt things were fine.
"You! You've got my shoe." Blue Guy spotted his shoe on another human that had escaped the snip snip. He chased after him and continued to give him lip.
"I guess it was in the safe. Time to go." Cassie took off across the beach and we followed to stay out of Tig Leader's reach. We had no idea where we were going but nothing can be worse than a snip snip human showing. Not even getting your toes stuck in something I left in the sand. A giant litter box sure is grand.
********************
Don't you just want to see a human fixing station now as talking animals make you bow? No? Probably wise at your show. It was not a sight to see. Such things will give you nightmares and no glee. At least the snipped humans took care of Silver Fox though. Him and each lackey foe. Humans are good for something after all. I bet afterwards they found a mall. And so part four has come to pass as things just get crazier from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
May 31, 2017
A Wind Down Out On The Town!
Sp spring is winding down at many a town. Unless you are going into winter in which case you can smash a printer. But you can still do with a fling. So here is some that will give you umm something.
I doing outside summer
Some may find that not a bummer.
Have you got room in you for me
Nah, far too skinny to fit thee.
Mothers are my foray.
Guess I lose at my bay.
Will you put a fork in me?
Sorry, not that kinky at my sea.
Got you a good time boy.
Can you mail it so I can enjoy?
Drop me like I'm hot
In any particular spot?
Why not hae you not found me
Not been not looking, dearie.
I'm free and fun and free
So there is no tax on thee?
I've ben heer all day
And there you will stay.
Why oh why must I wait fur you
Sorry, furries aren't part of my zoo.
I work which is a very rewarding time
So you are richer than a mime?
can't you give me the monkey
Is that some weird position that's funky?
May you fin your way to be
Dolphins are a fetish of thee?
I'm looking for my king
Sorry, rulers are an out thing.
mother nature is my will
Damn, that must be a mighty good pill.
Towns are overrrun with slim
I don't think you mean trim.
On the water with a fishing rod.
Sooo boring so you can keep the cod.
You'd think they'd open my heart
So you need many with a certain umm part?
Dress up, go out, go around, go home
You sure like to umm roam.
The love of many lifes searching for you.
Wouldn't you know if many lives before came due?
And there you go. You can now have a fling at your show. Although some may be scary as can be. At least I tried to help thee. Try any dating sites yet? Think any of the above are a safe bet? Probably not wise to come to pass. Good thing I'm a snip snipped little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
I doing outside summer
Some may find that not a bummer.
Have you got room in you for me
Nah, far too skinny to fit thee.
Mothers are my foray.
Guess I lose at my bay.
Will you put a fork in me?
Sorry, not that kinky at my sea.
Got you a good time boy.
Can you mail it so I can enjoy?
Drop me like I'm hot
In any particular spot?
Why not hae you not found me
Not been not looking, dearie.
I'm free and fun and free
So there is no tax on thee?
I've ben heer all day
And there you will stay.
Why oh why must I wait fur you
Sorry, furries aren't part of my zoo.
I work which is a very rewarding time
So you are richer than a mime?
can't you give me the monkey
Is that some weird position that's funky?
May you fin your way to be
Dolphins are a fetish of thee?
I'm looking for my king
Sorry, rulers are an out thing.
mother nature is my will
Damn, that must be a mighty good pill.
Towns are overrrun with slim
I don't think you mean trim.
On the water with a fishing rod.
Sooo boring so you can keep the cod.
You'd think they'd open my heart
So you need many with a certain umm part?
Dress up, go out, go around, go home
You sure like to umm roam.
The love of many lifes searching for you.
Wouldn't you know if many lives before came due?
And there you go. You can now have a fling at your show. Although some may be scary as can be. At least I tried to help thee. Try any dating sites yet? Think any of the above are a safe bet? Probably not wise to come to pass. Good thing I'm a snip snipped little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
May 30, 2017
Can't Comprehend Around The Bend?
The cat goes here and there and tries many a lair. That is just in blog land though and many go to many a show. Out of their little world too. Some get stuck in their world without a clue. But that you know, so away we go.
You are great at that.
You kinda suck at this.
You may even fall flat.
But can learn what you miss.
You stay in a rut.
Oh, but you're the winner.
Can't challenge your butt.
Use the same old spinner.
Trying something new.
Bah, I can't do that.
I'll stick with the same few.
They won't cause a spat.
I am so great.
Compare me to those.
They give me hate.
I send them to new lows.
I'm not that great.
Don't break my little fantasy world.
I can't take any other bait.
My hair may go straight from curled.
As in I'm scared to death.
They may ruin my status.
I may get out of breath.
Or I may go all flatus.
Surround myself with better?
That won't work.
I'll turn into a sweater.
That just isn't a perk.
Try something I'm not good at?
Why would I do that?
I could look like a dingbat.
That would create a spat.
Go to a place with people smarter than I?
Pffft who wants to give that a try?
My brain may fry.
Then I may die.
I'm the best around.
It's my simple claim.
Nothing new needs to be found.
I'll keep everything the same.
Do you stick to the same old same old thinking you are great as a win takes hold? You are only as good as those you top. If you fart around with the same old you fall to the bottom of the crop. Never learn and get better even if you think you do. Need to push and learn things that are new. The same with the same won't add to any claim. Need to add a new class. Can't be lazy like my feline little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
You are great at that.
You kinda suck at this.
You may even fall flat.
But can learn what you miss.
You stay in a rut.
Oh, but you're the winner.
Can't challenge your butt.
Use the same old spinner.
Trying something new.
Bah, I can't do that.
I'll stick with the same few.
They won't cause a spat.
I am so great.
Compare me to those.
They give me hate.
I send them to new lows.
I'm not that great.
Don't break my little fantasy world.
I can't take any other bait.
My hair may go straight from curled.
As in I'm scared to death.
They may ruin my status.
I may get out of breath.
Or I may go all flatus.
Surround myself with better?
That won't work.
I'll turn into a sweater.
That just isn't a perk.
Try something I'm not good at?
Why would I do that?
I could look like a dingbat.
That would create a spat.
Go to a place with people smarter than I?
Pffft who wants to give that a try?
My brain may fry.
Then I may die.
I'm the best around.
It's my simple claim.
Nothing new needs to be found.
I'll keep everything the same.
Do you stick to the same old same old thinking you are great as a win takes hold? You are only as good as those you top. If you fart around with the same old you fall to the bottom of the crop. Never learn and get better even if you think you do. Need to push and learn things that are new. The same with the same won't add to any claim. Need to add a new class. Can't be lazy like my feline little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
May 29, 2017
Pick Your Hit With What Day Is It!
The cat has seen even more weird ones creep in. Or just plan eye roll worthy ones for the win. So let's jump on the bandwagon today. Let's make up a day.
Hop on one foot day.
That may cause dismay.
It may not please.
Could blow over with the breeze.
Lick the ground day.
Isn't that a great foray?
You could catch a disease.
That day sure would please.
Blow with the wind day.
Blow back at your bay.
If you are full of hot air.
It could work grand at your lair.
Ask a random question day.
Go up to the nearest person on display.
Ask the strangest thing that pops in.
You may get chucked in the looney bin.
Kick the nearest thing day.
Could work as a double play.
Random question for one.
A kick for the second will be done.
Random research day.
Make up some stats about any foray.
That will be easy to do.
Just add one plus two.
Contradict stats day.
Join the fray.
Say the opposite of another finding.
The internet will be grinding.
The killer excuse day.
Give your best a say.
If people don't buy it.
Hey, maybe hiss and spit.
The flick an ear day.
Flick them at play.
When you see them on another,
Flick like an annoying little brother.
The make a day day.
Didn't think I'd give that a say?
I declare it make a day day.
Here on the 29th of May.
Hey, Monopoly and barbies have a day. Why can't a day making day join the fray? Although you may end up in jail with a few of these. But you won't blowing back at the breeze. Have any weird ones to add to the mass? Go ahead and make a day day on the day declared by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Hop on one foot day.
That may cause dismay.
It may not please.
Could blow over with the breeze.
Lick the ground day.
Isn't that a great foray?
You could catch a disease.
That day sure would please.
Blow with the wind day.
Blow back at your bay.
If you are full of hot air.
It could work grand at your lair.
Ask a random question day.
Go up to the nearest person on display.
Ask the strangest thing that pops in.
You may get chucked in the looney bin.
Kick the nearest thing day.
Could work as a double play.
Random question for one.
A kick for the second will be done.
Random research day.
Make up some stats about any foray.
That will be easy to do.
Just add one plus two.
Contradict stats day.
Join the fray.
Say the opposite of another finding.
The internet will be grinding.
The killer excuse day.
Give your best a say.
If people don't buy it.
Hey, maybe hiss and spit.
The flick an ear day.
Flick them at play.
When you see them on another,
Flick like an annoying little brother.
The make a day day.
Didn't think I'd give that a say?
I declare it make a day day.
Here on the 29th of May.
Hey, Monopoly and barbies have a day. Why can't a day making day join the fray? Although you may end up in jail with a few of these. But you won't blowing back at the breeze. Have any weird ones to add to the mass? Go ahead and make a day day on the day declared by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Pat Hatt's Blog
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