Pat Hatt's Blog, page 83

Purr Empire Part Two Comes Out Of The Blue!

     I kept leading the way through the trees and I have to admit that it was a breeze. At least it was a breeze until the others chimed in. I guess I was taking them for a spin.
     "The fleabag is taking Drazin in circles. Why is Drazin following the fleabag anyway? Those animals screwed Drazin up." Drazin kept mumbling to himself as we saw a familiar hole. Hey, I had to go in the middle of our stroll.
     "Thy demon is right. We have been forsaken in the land of..."
     "Shut up, Pat. It's just a bunch of trees. Not some..."Cassie stopped yapping as shadows covered us all. They were smaller than her furry ball. That is a cat toy in case you don't know. No need for the gutter to show.
     "Humans have come into our den. We like to see such men. We will suck them dry. They will surely cry."
     The shadows grew closer an closer and kept repeating the same crap. Then we saw the things who continued to yap. They were tiny talking wood ticks. I think I would prefer super powered zombies hicks.
     "At least we know why the talking creatures didn't follow us," Pat blurted out, as his eyes rolled about.
    Those blood suckers had us all on edge. We could not even find a ledge. It was just a web of trees in every direction. We ran but had no time for further inspection. Those things were on us like a..well...tick to a rear. They surrounded us drawing ever so near.
     "Can't you burn them with your fake contact lenses, godly mook?"
     "Fleabag, if Drazin could don't you think Drazin would have already?"
     "Back foul creatures, back!" Pat waved a puny stick as their lips they began to lick.
     "A juicy meal for us all. We'll no longer allow you to stand tall."
     "Do you have to all talk at once and sound like that rhyming dunce?" Drazin questioned the wood tick crew, realizing a rhyme came due. "Drazin is so hating this world."
     Cassie and I clawed a few as they eyed us like yummy stew. We could not even dig into the ground. They were popping out of there as they continued to surround. They then hummed all in sync and each gave us a wink. It was strange to see. I swear they were like wood tick robots unable to talk free.
     "Not this again." Drazin grumbled and fell to his knees. Their singing once again made he and Pat freeze.
     Their legs reached out for each of them, mouths dripping with a little phlegm. Cassie and I continued to swat but it did not do a whole heck of a lot. We were going to be done in by blood sucking, singing wood ticks. That as an obituary title would sure get a few clicks. Then came a whistle and a whole new tune. The wood ticks quickly scurried away like a frightened racoon.
     "What foul creature saved thy, demon?"
     "How should Drazin know?"
     We all searched for the whistling nut. He was clearly in a rut. He was whistling the same tune over and over. I prayed it was not a rabies ridden rover. And then he came in view. He was a human, yet his skin was blue. He also had on only one shoe. He walked a bit lopsided as he stepped up to our crew.
    "You haven't seen a shoe around here anywhere, have you?" Blue Guy asked and glared. Did I mention he was spiky haired?
     "A shoe? Who gives a flying crap about a shoe? Drazin wants to know what you did to make those blood suckers go away."
     "Them? They're no trouble. They sucked on me a time or two and died from my blue blood. My bad reaction to their fixing human process gave me super powers. Now where is my shoe?" Blue Guy talked like it meant nothing at all that we were almost sucked dry like a shopper at the mall. I think he was a little touched in the head. But at least he saved us from winding up dead.
     "Let's get out of here before they come back," Cassie stated. Those blood suckers she really hated.
     "Drazin is with the fleabag. And you're coming with Drazin. How does Drazin get out of here?" Drazin questioned Blue Guy. He clearly did not get it on the first try.
     "Who is Drazin? Does he or she have my shoe?"
     "Good going, godly mook. You confused the poor, simple human." Cassie rolled her eyes. Blue Guy truly was not very wise.
     "Yes, dearie. He has your shoe. Would you kindly lead us out of here so we can show you where he is?" Pat said, sounding like some old lady. If he was not nuts, the cops may find his act shady. They would probably check him for drugged candy. But Blue Guy fell for it, so his crazy voice mind came in handy.
     "Sure. There is a way. You just have to walk backwards to go forwards." Blue Guy begin walking back. He laughed at the peering wood tick pack. Their faces sure were not vague. They stared at him like he carried the plague.
     "Let's give it a try. He looks like a trust worthy blue guy."
     "Drazin will strangle him if he is not."
     "The guy who has my shoe is mean. We have to stop such a crook."
     "Maybe you should stop talking, godly mook." Cassie laughed at Drazin. Blue Guy's mind may have been smaller than a raisin.
     We trotted backwards, watching each step. Blue Guy was the only one with any pep. The sticks had to hurt his foot with no shoe. He barely missed the hole where I buried my poo. That I just had to add. It is okay for some filler to be had. It beats saying we walked backwards for an hour and that Drazin and Pat smelled like they each needed a shower.
     "And here we are. Back safe and sound. Now where can I find Drazin to get my shoe?" Blue showed us the edge of the tree line. We peered out and saw that giant feline. They were all still there. We had to find a way to avoid their ear piercing blare.
     "That's Drazin. Right there! He stole your shoe," Drazin stated, pointing to Tig Leader.
     "I knew it. That is my shoe stealing foe. No wonder he is leader. He steals everyone's shoes." Blue Guy jumped into the lake and all the talking animals began to shake. They scattered as he neared their shore. I guess his powers from the allergic reaction must be more. But we did not stick around to find out when we spotted a singing trout.
     "I will have you all. Your reproducing will stall. We'll fix you good. Then humans no longer are understood."
     "Shut it." Cassie kicked dirt in the trout's face. That stopped his bad singing embrace. "Get going, you two."
     "Drazin needs earplugs."
     "And some real clothes, dearie," Pat added. His brain still in need of a cell that's padded.
     We ran down the shore line to get away. We could still hear the Blue Guy having his say. He was shouting about his shoe at every turn. That fire within for his shoe sure did burn. We thought we heard the last of him when our situation once again turned grim. We were back where we started. Blue Guy screaming for his shoe as all the talking animals had departed.
     "What is this place?" Drazin was clearly not impressed as this place had become quite the pest.
     "It's crazier than Pat and that is saying something."
     "Quiet or no dinner for you tonight, kitty cat." Pat threatened Cassie in a cheery tone. At least with all the voices in his head he is never alone.
     "Backwards with me. Let's go on three." I trotted backwards along the shore line and they all followed this rhyming feline. After a few minutes of walking and talking or moaning and droning, whatever the case may be, we no longer even saw a tree. Blue Guy's screaming about his shoe was gone and here we stood in an over grown lawn. There was a shabby shack at the back and we just knew we were in for more flack.

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That Blue Guy really wants his shoe. I wonder if he'll find it before this is through? Who knows how that will go. Who knows what the hell will show. I just hope Drazin or Pat doesn't get fixed. No brain cells would mean our feeding gets nixed. And so part two has come to pass from my ever so crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

An Alter That From The Cat!

Can you alter this or that? That and this proves that stat. Altered it was indeed. But a different alter will take seed. Or would it be the same with just a longer name? Maybe the latter but it won't matter.

There was an altercation.
It involved a carnation.
It took place at a station.
And resulted in probation.

Does it require a narration?
I think I can take a vacation.
For there isn't even a need for a summation.
Could result in some sedation.

Results are a confirmation.
One made from concentration.
Or pure dumb agitation.
An altercation invitation.

Agitation and altercation.
Quite the congregation.
They may be blood relation.
Distant, but still a good illustration.

Could result in inflammation.
After such an installation.
Can you install altercation?
I'm betting yes on that observation.

It's like an invitation.
An invitation for agitation.
Then agitation becomes altercation,
And along comes castration.

Sure has some preservation.
Must be it's own occupation.
Throw in a little stimulation.
That could be a stipulation.

Too bad there's no vaccination.
Could be an end to the violation.
Maybe one needs a transformation,
Using a little transplantation.

Could avoid the assassination.
That does take coordination.
Who needs that aggravation?
That just ups the altercation.

But hey, it brings confederation.
A not so equalization.
Just one long perpetuation,
Spinning back to the altercation.

My where we can go with an altercation flow. Ever have an altercation? Was it one with a carnation? Or was it to do with commercialization? Did it result in litigation? I hope you beat the allegation. Or are now in an undisclosed location. Of course that may mean no green grass which could result in an altercation from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Following Is All Kinds Of Hollowing!

Did you know that the following post is intended for mature audiences from coast to coast? You didn't know that? Now you do from the cat.

A word to the wise.
Adult situations arise.
So take care.
May blind a pair.

A naked bun or two.
So adult in view.
A shooting of some bad guy.
Oh me, oh my.

Adult in every way.
Make sure the kids stray.
Speaking of which,
There in lies a glitch.

Adult it is.
But no child care biz?
No screaming in the night?
No kids on a long flight?

No pets anywhere?
No bills to spare.
No filling up on gas.
No condom needed in mass?

Hell, not even gas,
Will come to pass.
Not in the fill up way.
Just in case you're lost at my bay.

No mortgage to pay.
No events for the kids to play.
No running to and fro.
That is a lot of no.

No bags under their eyes.
But yes, the bad guy dies.
Or maybe he fries.
Watch it girls and guys.

So adult this post.
It's adult the most.
Not even a vet bill,
Or recycling for the land fill.

There is no need to eat,
Unless advertising a treat.
Not even a need to shit.
But yep, it's adult where you sit.

Damn, those adult warnings are a little inflated. Maybe they were done by adults who never mated? Heck, they never mated, owned a pet, ate or went to the loo. A robot must have put the discretion warning in view. Skynet is truly coming to pass. You heard it here first from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Rare Find From My Behind!

This will be the day you remember forever. It was when I pulled back the lever. The lever to the curtain that is. You don't even need to take a quiz. You get this all for one low price. Aren't I sure nice?

The cat has traveled near.
That cat has traveled far.
I walked and wiggled my rear,
Sometimes I even took a car.

Then I came across it.
It was a wonder to behold.
I almost had a happy fit.
This stuff was better than gold.

It was found through fog.
It was found through snow.
I even crossed a bog,
I never got wet though.

There on a hilltop it was revealed.
The hill is more like a mountain.
The place should have been sealed,
But instead it had a wishing fountain.

I don't buy that stuff.
So we'll skip that tourist trap.
Instead I couldn't get enough,
And I even had to clap.

Clapping with claws is hard.
But I did it just for you.
I'll even give you my card,
When you buy more than two.

The people there were young.
They were all so healthy and fit.
Some of them even sung,
No matter if they sounded like shit.

Heaven on Earth it was.
There is no better term.
They shared their secret just because.
I didn't even have to fear a germ.

The secret was so simple.
It was sitting there all along.
It can even cure a pimple.
You'll want to sing a song.

So get this magnificent discovery today.
It was verified by Dr. Asilfailed Horne.
You'll see every result that we say.
No longer will life be corny.

Don't you want to buy right now? You have to after such a meow. I mean it was from deep, deep, deep in the unknown. A Dr. even approved it after given a kickback err umm loan. Such products are so super rare. You'll get everything from extra inches to shiny hair. For just 5 easy payments of $99.99 your life will now align. Did I mention this is a monthly thing? We can't let you run out in winter, fall, summer or spring. Just plug in your credit card today and we'll ship across any bay. Wait! I think that came out in my gas. You may want to ignore my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

It's Combo Time With This Chime!

A combination may take form and become the norm. Or it may take form and send one hiking back for their dorm. As in it is very scary. Some could sure get hairy. That we do know. But in case you don't, here you go.

It's combo time.
Don't drop a dime.
Not that kind of one.
No need to clog the arteries a ton.

Elvis and Bieber together.
A combo one could weather.
Err umm yeah, not.
That may not sound too hot.

Microsoft and cats.
They screw up like dingbats.
Just make mechanical ones.
The thought gives me the runs.

Movies and video games.
Pffft plenty of crap worthy claims.
Very few of them good.
Can that Mario one even be understood?

Pizza and squid.
One to be hid.
Both nasty to me.
But would ruin much glee.

McDonald's and a diet.
Go ahead and try it.
But the combo won't work.
Double the combo perk.

A mime and a dog.
Nope, miming lost in a fog.
Try to get a dog to mime.
They'll yap and have a grand old time.

A car and trash.
BTTF had a bash.
Sorry, doesn't work yet.
Never is a safe bet.

Some rum and dish soap.
Boy, you have to be a dope.
Yeah, I actually saw that.
Not pretty where any are at.

A combo with a combo.
Did a wtf you just go?
I raise it with another one.
A wtf in a wtf for fun.

There are millions that could be spun, especially with a nasty food run. Think of any at your sea? Any scare you that came from me? Squid and pizza some may find grand in some far off land. I think we will pass on them all. Maybe a combo wtf can befall. I'm sure we left some like that in mass. Thus is the way of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Some Friendly Spice In Advice!

The cat will go all friendly today. That may be rare for my bay. But it has to be done. I just want to be friendly to everyone. Don't believe me? Just wait and see.

You want a date?
Take any old mate.
Doesn't matter the one.
Give even a psycho a run.

Hey, just friendly advice.
You wanted to entice.
I'm just saying you can get one.
All friendly like with my run.

Want to get rich?
Not live in a ditch?
Have money with ease.
Get a job, it's a breeze.

Hey, just friendly advice.
Can roll the dice.
Get all kinds of dough.
May take 50 years though

Want to lose weight?
Not a hard trait.
Well maybe for you.
Don't have food in your zoo.

Hey, just friendly advice.
Eat less than mice.
Then you'll do it,
As there you sit.

Want to do a blog?
Suffering from brain fog?
Just put up anything at all.
No one will care about your hall.

Hey, just friendly advice.
Go get a slice.
A slice of whatever you like.
Call it a strike.

Want to retire?
Is that where you aspire?
Give up that dream and work.
Unless you want to live like a grocery clerk.

Hey, just friendly advice.
So friendly it's like sharing lice.
The advice was just given.
It is so friendly it will help you with liven.

Pffffft friendly advice is hardly ever that. Heard any friendly advice that was more like scat? Those that give it and hide behind the friendly bit are usually very full of shit. But hey, I'm just being friendly to that mass as they are such a friendly class. So friendly that they can suck on some friendly gas from my ever so friendly little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

An I Never Type Of Endeavor!

The cat sure knows humans aren't whelmed sometimes. They sure go into the over exaggeration crimes. I guess they like the old !!!!!!!!!!!! mark. So the I never they bark.

While I never.
Actually not.
With that endeavor,
Holes in the plot.

I never smelled anything worse.
What? It was just a fart.
So skunks don't make you curse?
Do you take them to heart?

I never scene anything like that.
Two humpers that are fat?
A cat eating a rat?
Are you just a dingbat?

I never saw that before.
Back to the eyes.
A changed encore.
My, aren't you wise.

Well I never.
Then you stop.
A huff so clever,
As words just flop.

I never thought it possible.
You mean your mind is stuck?
For in the head nothing is impossible,
In real life it may pass the buck.

I never dreamed of that.
Two humpers that are fat?
A cat eating a rat?
Back to you being a dingbat?

I never ate anything so bad.
No? Not one little thing?
Try something that drives you mad?
This one may have some truth spring.

I never seen anyone like that.
My, you are sheltered as can be.
Back to the chewing of fat?
Are zombie feet scary to thee?

Well I never.
Yeah, yeah, we know.
Pull back the lever,
All can be seen on the internet show.

Do you use I never a lot? Think it all hot to trot? You may have nevered until you never the never. Does that sound clever? Maybe that just confused you a bit. Can't say you never been confused here. I'm sure I could throw a curve ball near. But I would never ever let that come to pass. You may never get anywhere if you believe that last one from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Purr Empire Part One Everywhere Animals Run!

     I thought I was having a nap on the lap of that Pat chap, but that turned out to be fake because we all awoke in some lake. Cassie was not happy with it. She hated water and began to hiss and spit. I had no fear and swam to shore. Pat shook off and then we heard a familiar roar. Once again he was back. It was way easier when all that godly mook did was attack.
     "Drazin was in the middle of..." Drazin's eyes were filled with love.
     "The godly mook and Plum were touching...his bum!" I looked away. That was such a scary display. Give me water any day. Drazin bare was now burned in my mind come what may.
     "Thy demon is in the nude."
     "Way to state the obvious, Pat." Cassie rolled her eyes and stared at Drazin's man parts like they were flies.
     "Don't even think about it, fleabag. Drazin isn't into such things like your crazy human." Drazin searched for something to wear while he used his hands to cover up being bare.
     "Demon, thy shall perish for such remarks."
     "What did you do now, godly mook? Pat wasn't nuts for a whole year. Now he is. Where are we?" Cassie badgered Drazin some more while Pat and I scanned the shore. There was nothing in sight. Not even a sand flea tried to bite.
     "Would it be a shocker if we were back on Island of the Gawker?" I had to point that out. It was familiar until we spotted a talking trout.
     "We swim from here to there searching for some hair. If only we weren't so slippery and wet our hair dream would be met."
     "Is Drazin going nuts or did that meal just talk?"
     "Ahhhhh. Upright humans! Feral cats! It's the end of days." The trout went beneath the sea and we knew this was not the Gawker's place to be.
     "First talking cats. Now talking fish. Drazin is in a Disney movie."
     "Hopefully it's more Lion King and less Princess and the Frog," Pat chimed in, back to his normal self with a movie spin. "I can't look at this any longer." Pat took off his shirt and tossed it to Drazin. Thankfully he wrapped it around himself and we no longer had to look at the thing the size of a raisin.
     "Let's get this over with and find out what the godly mook got us into this time." Cassie sighed and trotted away while we each kept an eye on the bay.
     "This isn't Drazin's doing, fleabag. If Drazin wanted to go anywhere Drazin wouldn't do it while Drazin was bare. If this is like that deranged candy land or those zombies with powers, Drazin is going to throw you fleabags and your crazy human in a vault and lock the door."
     "Give it a try and you'll lose an eye." I trotted behind Cassie with my tail in the air. I too could show my rump all bare.
     "Demon, what has thou done? Where has thou taken us?" Pat grabbed a stick and held it like a sword. His eyes widened as we were being marched on by an animal horde.
     "How is this Drazin's fault? Drazin doesn't want to go to a land with walking, talking animals."
     Animals dressed and walking like humans surrounded us. They were sure all making a fuss. They were even armed with guns. A few looked like they were about to have the runs.
     "Where have you come from? The Island of Forbidden? This will mean war if so. State your business or be shot," a jittery tiger stated to us. We really kicked up a fuss. He was dressed in a suit and tie. The suit was a bright blue and hard on the eye.
     "Great! A stupidly named place. I bet that name drop means it will come into play by the end of this. You'd think talking animals would have less obvious plot devices." Pat mumbled for a while and they found him and Drazin truly vile. We on the other hand were looked on with pity. I guess we did not fit into their animal city.
     "Bring out the humans!"
     "Right away, Tig Leader." A Zebra ran to the back of the crowd and then some snarling was heard and became rather loud. He was yanked back to us by three humans on all fours. These humans clearly had taken far too many brain cell losing tours. The were drooling and howling at us like mutts. This place was completely nuts.
     "Now tell us your intentions and why you are here before we unleash the deadly humans on you." Tig Leader became less jittery. Boy, his hair was so glittery. It was like he got back from some teen group sing a long. A glittery fur, suit wearing tiger was all kinds of wrong.
     "Drazin has had enough of this. Drazin will..."
     "Not like that you disgusting human. You know the drill. You want to live, you sing it." Tig Leader crossed his arms and grinned. It was clear Drazin wanted to see him skinned.
     "Godly mook, this is on you." Cassie scratched a human and he whimpered licking his hand. She wiped off her paw in the sand.
     "Cat, you are lucky you are so naive. If not you'd suffer the same fate as the disgusting humans. Release the humans," Tig Leader commanded. He sighed and then clarified what he had demanded. "Release those humans who are in their correct place on the ones standing."
     "The Great God Duke Drazin has far better things to do." Drazin picked up a rock and left the human coming at him in shock. He whacked him upside the head. I am sure nothing was permanently damaged as these humans were already brain dead.
     "I can't hit a woman." Pat tried to push back the woman biting at his heels. She bit him and the animal horde cheered with some giving weird squeals. "But she devils I may." Pat kicked dirt in her eyes and she shouted howling cries.
     "Humans are so worthless. They can't even take down their own kind. Now we do this the hard way." Tig Leader and his horde eyeballed us while the humans made a fuss.
     "Demon, is thy self bullet proof?" Pat feared the guns as this animal horde had tons.
     "Drazin's armor is. But you had to bring Drazin here while Drazin wasn't wearing it."
     "You touch crazy Pat and we'll turn you to scat." My threat may have been rather bad but I was miffed more than a tad.
     The animal horde raised their guns to the sky and then all looked to that Tig Leader guy. He placed his hand on his chest and then nodded to the rest. They aimed at Drazin and Pat and we got ready to attack the big cat. Before we could they fired and it turns out they never expired. Weird tones filled the air. Eventually they became some tune worthy affair. Then Tig Leader started to sing and Pat and Drazin acted ready to bow to this cat king.
     "We no longer roar and squawk. Now we walk and we talk. We took over where humans failed and the planet is no longer derailed. Purr Empire holds the power and beneath us all surely cower. Humans are mindless cronies. They are the one true phonies. All we had to do was grab and twist'em like a plumber unclogging the system. They fell into line and things were fine. Then you two came to shore and threatened to derail our lore. But we admit a few humans we may have missed and so you will go into the twist. There you will be snipped and sucked. All within you will be tucked. Life will move on as it should when all humans are no longer understood. So fall to your knees and prepare the way to your less thinking brighter day."
     Cassie and I tried to get through the marching hooves and feet but there was no room for retreat. So we dug a hole while he sung, secretly hoping he would pop a lung. That never occurred as Tig Leader simply purred. He was almost done his tune when I did something familiar in the sand dune. I let loose some gas. It was not such a stinky mass but it was what I do in the litter. They all became quite bitter. The tune of my gas screwed up the harmony of the animal mass. They became as bewildered as could be and then I scratched Pat on the knee. Cassie did it to the godly mook and he was about to puke.
     "Drazin can't believe Drazin succumbed to that."
     "The harmony of the animals must have encumbered our brain with some sound wave that in turn..."
     "Shut up, Pat. Run with the cat." I led the way and we ran back toward the bay.
     "No way. I got wet once. That is enough."
     "Cassie, don't be prissy or you'll be a dead missy."
     "Drazin has a better idea." Drazin knocked over a tree with one kick. That thing fell some slick.
     "Score one for the godly mook. I guess you aren't all bad." Cassie hopped on the tree and we followed suit. It is a good thing Drazin is a brute. We floated out into the bay with the animal horde yelling that we would pay. Thankfully we all held onto the bark and never got eaten by a talking shark. We made it to the other side and disappeared into the trees. I was hoping we would not run into talking fleas. The would be the last thing we needed to see. Maybe the second last, after seeing Drazin as bare as could be.

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The cat figured it was time for another tale and this one hit the trail. The first to pop in as I wrote away. So figured it wanted its say. Been a while since a long arse blog post came due. Now there may be a few. How will the tale go? Damned if I know. The cat shall just go with the flow. But that you probably know. Score one for me passing gas. It's only in tune with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Not Any With Popularity Among Many!

The cat has gone down the idiom road but today we'll take the popular load. I guarantee no one reading this hasn't ever heard/said one. If not then you live under a rock with no sun.

We're going the whole nine yards.
That is what is in the cards.
A taste of your own medicine you'll receive.
Hopefully that doesn't prompt you to leave.

Unless here you wouldn't be caught dead.
That can play tricks with your head.
Your guess is as good as mine.
Actually I may be a smarter feline.

Making it a piece of cake.
No cake you even have to make.
Maybe once in a blue moon.
But then I'm just a loon.

At least my mind isn't a wreck.
Like some not playing with a full deck.
I'm just off my rocker.
Yeah, that's not a shocker.

Should I let sleeping dogs lie?
Pffft I'd rather let the hair fly.
Could kill two birds with one stone.
Or just throw a dog a bone.

Gonna jump on the bandwagon?
I used gonna and turned Suza into a dragon.
Whoops, I let the cat out of the bag.
Isn't that a redundant flying flag?

Hey, every cloud has a silver lining.
So quit your poor pitiful me whining.
Okay, drastic times call for drastic measures.
I now revoke all human pleasures.

That may cost an arm and a leg.
Not sure I can lift a keg.
But I'd sure burn the midnight oil.
Humans would be out to foil.

Of course I could be barking up the wrong tree.
But at least on a tree I don't lift my leg and pee.
That ball is in your court.
At the drop of a hat you can file a report.

Actions do speak louder than words.
Like taking a rock and killing those birds.
In the heat of the moment it may seem right.
But not when you hit the sack at night.

A penny for your thoughts? Did you guess lots? Sorry, no real penny for you. Up here the pennies are through. Did I hit the nail on the head with anything I said? Should I not give up my day job? Even if that job is to rob? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Shaking your head at my idiom fit? I could go on all day with my idiom pass. Stopping may be a blessing in disguise from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Real Wow Is We Can Do It Now!

Aren't some nuts so optimistic it isn't funny? Or maybe it is rather funny as they think all is sunny. Like a nut I heard yapping the other day about driver-less cars coming our way.

They're ready to go.
They will be the next wave.
Keeping traffic at a steady flow,
No one will go to their grave.

Can play with the kids.
Can send them out alone.
So start taking bids.
And stay near that telephone.

They will change life.
No more driver error.
Can sleep with the wife,
Tinted windows stop any terror.

Isn't that neat?
Sex while driving.
Oh what a treat.
And all are surviving.

Driver-less cars are here.
They just need to change the law.
Then we'll kick them in gear,
And they won't have a flaw.

Old human powered ones will go.
They will become illegal for roads.
Maybe see a few at a car show,
But otherwise they won't carry loads.

The car will do it all.
It will avoid snow and rain.
You can just sit and make a call.
It's like you're on a small train.

So throw out the old.
Bring in the new.
They are pure gold.
You'll probably want two.

No soccer games missed.
No school bus needed.
No needing to follow a list.
Taxi's no longer are deeded.

The car does it all.
The car gets you through.
It will take you to the mall,
Or maybe even Timbuktu.

Pffffft like that is going to happen fast and make human drivers a thing of the past. He claimed the only thing in the way was the law. Hmmm there is one big flaw. People everywhere CAN'T afford a new car. Going to give them away for free near and far? I doubt that one bit. So saying it could happen now makes one full of shit. Plus would you let your kids go off alone in one anywhere? Pffft that would raise my neck hair. Rather deal with the idiot drivers in mass. They won't be working any kinks out on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.