Pat Hatt's Blog, page 82

To The Top Of The Crop!

The top of the crop can't be a flop. Or flopped and dropped. Has your mind been cropped? Who will be one? Blue may get it done. A copy and paste. Does that post haste. But nope, not about that. Follow the cat.

This comes with a warning.
It's 7 in the morning.
Isn't that nice of me?
I just warned thee.

A warning chime,
About the time.
Time to play.
It's a new day.

Actually it's not.
Newish is the plot.
Same old same old?
Nah, that won't take hold.

Hey, it may be.
But forget that spree.
Instead we're at the top.
So 7 hours in is a flop.

Unless time zones play.
Then I'll confuse away.
We don't want that.
Let's pretend it's flat.

So 7 hours in.
Still can get a win.
Look, it was Hank.
Blue walked the plank.

Maybe Blue is snoring.
Could be out exploring.
Switcheroo could be Hank.
Whoops, walked the wrong plank.

This is a new top.
A top that may flop.
A top that gets a drop.
After a skip, jump and hop.

Mixed that up a bit?
Who gives a shit.
All is jumping action.
A jumping type faction.

Yep, I'm done now.
Finished my morning meow.
So Top Of The Morning To You.
Damn, I'm a liar at my zoo.

What does that even mean? The top of the morning at ones scene? Does the morning have levels to climb? Does it do it like a mime at each chime? We'll go with when it starts. Which means I'm 7 hours late in my parts. So 7/12 top of the morning to you blogland mass. Now I'm a correct little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Dig Deep At Your Keep!

Are you ready to dig a little deeper? Some sure do it and become a weeper. The cat doesn't like that. They whine like they can't get out scat. Of course that can suck too. But we won't dig into that at our zoo.

Dig down deep.
Forget the weep.
Just dig on down.
Maybe to Chinatown.

Does China go the other way?
To America do they say?
Somehow I doubt that.
No digging into it for the cat.

Now what's with digging?
Are you sitting there wigging?
Wigging out you know.
Does your wig go with the flow?

Think about that.
I'll dig and bury scat.
My digging is now done.
Back to the digging run.

Dig a little deeper.
A saying not for a sweeper.
They just sweep it under the rug.
So things have to be dug.

Find things out.
That's what it's about.
But not where this is going.
Caught on to my showing?

Digging myself a hole.
Ah, now you got my goal.
Nah, I already dug that.
Can we get off the scat?

Found in a lie.
Oh me, oh my.
Sinking in debt.
Look, one final bet.

Two unrelated.
But both are fated.
You sure got it now.
Don't raise an eyebrow.

Digging a deeper hole.
Seems to be a human goal.
Can't admit and try to get out.
Nope, dig on down like a merry trout.

Do you dig deeper holes? Not the ones for places flag poles. Arguing and arguing even when you're wrong? That goes to the dig a deeper hole song. Even trying to get out of a lie with another lie. Whoops, hole dug some spry. Let's get out of debt with more debt. Yeah, that is a safe bet. Could dig deeper all day but the cat now needs to play. Now don't go disturbing the grass when digging near my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Lazy Joy Of The Employ!

The internet sure is great. It is first rate. You can find rats having sex or even turn up a hex. Hey, some search engine nut found me with the former one. And you can also help lazy ass employers a ton.

A resume you say?
What may I ask is that?
Who needs such a display.
You are just a stat.

Go to our site.
Fill out our form.
I assure you it won't bite.
This is our norm.

Answer questions galore.
Give it your best.
You may make it through the door,
If you pass the test.

Otherwise, you'll stay on file.
6 months to be exact.
Then you can hit redial.
Hopefully you're in on the act.

It isn't really a test.
It is more of a getting to know you.
We want to see your zest.
We can tell if you answer with one or two.

Actually we can't.
Nope, not one bit.
I'm just a worker ant.
The computer does that shit.

You are in the system.
Now let the computer factor it all.
We'll slowly twist em.
Scrutinizing each ball.

Actually we won't.
Nope, not one bit.
Sexual harassment we don't.
The computer does that shit.

Write the big long essay.
We want to know you more.
Don't just say hey,
If you want in the door.

In the system with a click.
Your data will be computed.
Wasn't that some slick?
Reading resumes has been muted.

Hiring sure is streamlined more and more. Ever have to fill out some system crap at your shore? They ask stupid things and then if you get picked out, they'll give the same stupid questions in the interview a shout. Redundant much? Yep, more than a touch. Lazy asses let computers do all the work. Gotta have that time saving perk. They are sure taking place in mass. So annoying filling the crap out 50 times over for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Purr Empire Part Three With A Voodoo Spree!

     We stared at the house like it was a giant talking mouse. At least we had not seen one of those yet. That would disturb this pet. Plus Disney may try and sue. But hey, we have to tell the story that is true.
     "Drazin thinks it is a good idea to get out of here."
     "I'm with the godly mook." Cassie hissed as the door creaked. Then out came one who squeaked. Her voice had such a high pitch that we instantly knew she was some sort of witch. Turns out we were instantly wrong. She was just another ding dong.
     "Are you my shampoo carrier? Have you brought me my shampoo?" Blabber asked fifty times over. It could have been forty eight times but I lost interest like some rover. How could I not? She squeaked and she looked like some Tarsier Man clone or robot.
     "Is that who Drazin thinks it is?"
     "Thy demon. It is the mouthy, whiny one. But what kind of spell has come upon her?"
     We all jumped back as she took of her head. It turns out the tarsier was rather dead. In this case it was just a suit. She was wearing a furry outfit of one she thought was cute.
     "How dare you say I'm whiny. I just want my shampoo. Did you bring my shampoo? Two kinds I asked for. My hair is so..."
     "And thou says thou aren't whiny." Pat rolled his eyes as Blabber put back on her disguise.
     "Here they come. They are out there watching. Those animals that want to put talking fleas on my knees. I'd rather be peed on." Blabber ran inside and left the door open wide.
     "I think she's more strung out than ever before," Cassie whispered, as we peeked through the door.
     "Drazin can't deal with this nut again. Drazin so hoped she was gone forever. What next? Those annoying beer guys?" Drazin grumbled as I kicked the door shut. I have some power in the hind legs of my little rhyming butt.
     "Now we're safe from prying eyes. Time I took off my disguise." Blabber yanked her furry tarsier suit off and then she began to cackle and cough. She then ripped off her actual skin and did some kind of tornado spin. She revealed herself to be a giant rat. Not sure what Disney will think of that. But she was no friend of the cat. Who can like a giant blabber mouth rat?
     "You've fallen for my trick. I am some slick. You may have made it through my backwards spell but now I will trap you here forever where I dwell."
     "So she really is a witch? Isn't that a..."
     "Quiet, feline. You shall not be fine. I will put a spell on you after I deal with the human two."
     "Drazin doesn't have time for this. The Great God Drazin will handle this stupid witch. Drazin has had enough of witches and blabber mouth, whiny humans and talking fleabags." Drazin marched up to her and tried to ruffle her fur. But that did not end well as she sang her merry spell.
     "Not this bad musical crap again." Pat tried to run away but he fell to his knees as she had her say.
     "Humans are gross, disgusting and mean. They are just so unclean. So with a little bit of magic I will make their life less tragic. A little human toe nail in my pot. Some human spit to add to the plot. Stir it up all nice and neat then these humans will make a tasty treat. I'll boil and cook and roast them tender. I'll even put the extra bits in a blender. You can't waste good human food. That would not be a good attitude. I remain merry with a twinkle in my eye, knowing you humans are sure to die." Blabber hummed and sang her tune on repeat. Her voice was anything but sweet. She was too busy focusing on Drazin and Pat, finding no threat in a cat. That was her mistake. One we are glad she decided to make.
     "That screechy voice is too much." Cassie uncovered her ears and slunk around the shack. She climbed up the potion shelf and gave things a whack. One by one they fell into her pot. The thing began to smell like something had started to rot.
     "What have you done? Are you trying to ruin my fun? This was to be an excellent meal. Now I'll have to eat them raw and give their skin a peel. That is so wasteful to do. But if I must, I must because of you." Blabber ignored Cassie and I still. She must have hit her head falling down a hill. All she could focus on was eating Drazin and Pat. I was having none of that.
     "Hey there, witch. I hate your high pitch. I am going to make you twitch and leave you to die in a ditch." Blabber eyeballed me and I took away her glee. She reached her hands out to grab my neck but that was a failed trek. I ran to the other side of the pot and thanks to Cassie it was jiggling a lot. I gave the thing a nudge at Blabber and she wailed like some giant cat did grab her.
     "My great meal is going to waste. I am turning to paste. This can't be true. Now I need a lot of shampoo."
     "Drazin never wished Drazin was deaf until now." Drazin caught sight of Blabber melting into a pile of goo. He was offended by that too. "And now Drazin wishes Drazin was blind and had no sense of smell. She stinks."
     "She looks like that goop from Ghostbusters 2." Pat covered his nose. All any of us wanted to do was suck up her nasty goo with a vacuum hose.
     "Do you think she was really that whiny human from Gawker Island?" Cassie asked, wondering if Blabber had truly be unmasked.
     "Drazin isn't that lucky. Probably just some voodoo this rat cooked up. Drazin can't believe Drazin is saying such things."
     "Oh, but talking in the third person and saying you're a god every ten seconds, is okay? What a godly mook." Cassie trotted away after having her say.
     "Let's get out of here before I puke and add to her goop." Pat was looking kind of green and so we left that scene. I guess Blabber goo makes him sane because for now he had gotten off the crazy train.
     "I think here is getting out of here before my rhyming rear." My voice shook along with the shack. It felt like we were under an earthquake attack.
     "Great job, fleabag. You kill the yappy witch and now we are going to get sucked into some black hole." Drazin kept complaining as he yanked at the door. The thing would not open to let us explore.
     "Would you rather have been eaten but a giant rat?" Cassie sighed and then covered her eyes as a blinding light circled us like a horde of fireflies.
     And just like that the shack vanished into thin air, taking the Blabber goo to who knows where. Sadly, the ground and lawn and everything went along. I think we were better off listening to her song.
     "What is going on? Are we in some road runner cartoon?"
     We all shared Pat's thought as we floated in the air like some hovering robot. Except we could not move one bit. Our lips could flap and that was it.
     "Godly mook, what did you do now?"
     "Shut up, fleabag. You're the one that threw all that voodoo into the pot."
     "Thy demon shall pay for sure treachery." Pat glared at Drazin without blinking. His crazy voices were once again back to thinking.Yeah, our eyes could not blink one bit. We could not even swallow our spit.
     "So we are stuck like a broken down truck?" I could do nothing else but speak. I could not even take a leak. This was so weird to experience after that glow. I am sure you get that by now though.
     "Fleabag, you moved." Drazin pointed that out to me and that caused me glee. "How did he do that?"
     "Easy as one, two, three. Just follow along with me. A rhyme is all it takes and then you get the shakes." I grinned but that was quickly lost. For into the big hole beneath us I was tossed.
     "I am going to regret this. Holes have given us no bliss. Probably creek full of crap down there because we never catch a break when away from our lair." Cassie sighed and fell into the hole below, knowing we would find a new foe.
     "Drazin hates this rhyming stuff. Of this place Drazin has had enough. Drazin will kill every last critter. This world has made Drazin even more bitter." Drazin's eyes glowed and he fell. He was ticked off, you could just tell.
     "If I fall in poo, I'm going to track down that Blabber goo. Then I'm going to send it to space. That will put on smile on my face." Pat fell down after us all and once again we continued to fall.
     Holes in the ground are becoming our thing. If only we would find some bling. Buried treasure is supposed to be buried after all. But all we find is stuff worse than what you would see in a public bathroom stall. We shall find out what comes to be when we stop falling endlessly.

************************
Wow, Blabber got turned to goo and smelled worse than poo. At least she still cared about her shampoo. Was that the real her at this strange zoo? Who knows with all this world hopping stuff. Keeping up with it can be rough. At least she got to sing a little ditty even with a voice one would pity. Now part three has come to pass from my ever so crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Little Deter If You Ruffle Fur!

People sure can kick up a stink. You humans do it with a wink. I'm not talking about gas. That can easily pass. May flare up a nostril or two. But that shall pass too. Right. On with it. No need to hiss and spit.

Look at you.
You have a new view.
A different way of thinking.
Did I just see blinking?

Not the good kind.
More like the, "are you out of your mind?"
Yep, I saw that indeed.
More are even following the lead.

Got a new idea that may work.
Now that could be a perk.
Could give you lots of fun.
It may or may not be done.

But whoops, there it is.
The crazy look biz.
You are just plain nuts.
No, you don't have guts.

Sit back and relax.
Work and pay tax.
Don't be crazy with any of that.
You may just end up with scat.

I mean it may be a good notion.
It may even cause a commotion.
But it probably won't do a thing.
So go have the same old fling.

You can't afford to waste time.
You won't always be in your prime.
Get a 9-5 and work it.
Then do the same old shit.

I don't mean to offend.
But you can't buck the trend.
That just isn't the way to be happy.
You'll end up always sappy.

Wait until you retire.
Then the idea you can admire.
You may very while expire,
But there will be no walking on a wire.

That is a neat idea though.
I just wanted you to know.
You are better off listening to me.
Nix any such notions and just let it be.

Hmm, just proves better off keeping new ideas to yourself. Don't want chicken shit humans putting them back on the shelf. Or maybe lazy shit ones. Of each there are tons. Ever have an idea crushed by a so called friend? They were though just trying to be helpful in the end. Pffft to such a pass. I'll do what I want with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Round Fifty Eight Is First Rate!

The search engine nuts are back and this time it's all us at our shack. Took a while to save them up to get enough because they usually search weird stuff. But here we are as they search nuts actually look for our sand bar.

It's Rhyme Time

That's the name the holds our fame.

Pat and Adam

It's fact, you're wrong with that act.

patthattbooks

Added an extra t as you searched for me.

patt hatt

The t sure shines through. Hey, why not have two?

pat hatt books

I guess not. A flip flop extra t with the lot.

rhymetime blog

That it is with the blogging biz.

Pat & cat

Times too at our zoo.

Pat hatt cowboys

Really wants Pat to ride a pony. We think that's baloney.

Pat under the sea

They are trying to drown Pat. We can't put up with that.

Pat hatt cat rhyme time blog

Geez, got it all in. Guess you really wanted to find our bin.

Gone away Pat

That is a new one to me. Pat doesn't travel much at our sea.

a rhyming nut

That we are. Beats being on par.

word volcano cat

Hmm okay. I'll erupt each day.

psycic ews cat

Can't spell right. Afraid I'll bite?

And the winner for today I'm sure some could guess at their bay. Not as vile as those of the past. Unless you think they are part of the fetish cast. But we won't care there. They may ask for it to be seen bare.

Cat's Little Rhyming Ass
That works for me. As it is used every day at my sea. And so the laid back search engine nuts have come and gone. They come back at bit at my lawn. Mostly It's Rhyme Time is the one that brings them under our sun. I guess they really like the gas that comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Pegged Them All At The Other Hall!

The cat sought out the weakness of each one as around I did run. I had to stay on top. So I made sure they all were a flop. Not that they could beat me. But finding their weakness causes me glee.


The first up is an easy one.He gets along with all cats under the sun.I just pretend to be nice.Then when he gets close, he pays the price.

Old shifty eyes isn't hard. He can't top a rhyming bard.He's actually just scared of my ass.Sees it and he runs after my sass.

 Mr. Lie Anywhere is fun.Fun for me to make him run.I just jump on him.His lying soon turns grim.

The counter surfer guy,Thinks he is rather spry.I just get there first.When he jumps up, his bubble does burst.

The old timer has no time for me.Pat makes sure I leave him be. I guess he's too old for my hiss and spit.Or would that be shit?

She is the opposite of the first. For one she may burst.And secondly she hates every cat.Sees me and scurries away like a rat.
 
The fluff ball makes me drool.That is so not cool.I get his hair in my yap.But I drool on him and he's a disgusted chap.

Buck tooth bouncer guy,Sure is rather spry.He watches the door for every cat. I just walk on past that dingbat.

And then there is prissy.Thinks she is quite the missy.I get enough of that with Cass.So I can just swat this prim and proper lass.

 And lastly another easy one.He makes noises by the ton.If I join in with him in the chirping and stuff.He runs because my vocal chords are rough.
Am I a mean cat? Maybe so at the other mat. But it gives me glee to be a bully to the ones at their other sea. Now that I know each weakness as well. I can raise even more hell. Or if all else fails I just chase them toward the mutt. They hate her as much as us at their hut. Cassie only hisses at one or two. She is no fun just picking on a few. You have to get after the entire mass. Show them that the boss is my cocky little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

All Kinds Of Art Taken To Heart!

Never fear. None of the cat's drawing is near. That would scare many away. Maybe not as much as zombie feet on display. But there is an art at the ready. So art may come steady.

The Art of the Sparkly Fart.
Whoops, a shameless plug to start.
Hey, I'm using the art of selling.
There is no need for yelling.

So I don't need to draw?
Not with paw or claw?
And I get to call it art?
Damn, artistic I can be with any part.

The art of walking.
The art of talking.
The art of nose picking.
The art of finger licking.

Preferably not two in one.
Although that is an art run.
Saw such "art" at a job interview.
A pick and eat came due.

Doesn't that scream work there?
They have art to spare.
So much that they eat it.
Blah, my ocd just had a fit.

But it did it to art.
Would you take part?
The art of blogging.
The art of logging.

One you type.
The other you gripe.
Yeah, screw the physical labor art.
Rather go to Wal-Mart.

Now there is some art.
The art of a person part.
Many show cracks to start.
It then delves deeper into art.

Now I'll demonstrate an art.
The opposite art of start.
The art of the finish.
Such art can't diminish. 

Whoops, I failed.
My art has been jailed.
Still no artistic skill.
Guess my art is set to chill.

Does you art chill out? Do you go all art of the shout? Could be art to anything and everything. Even the art of a fling. Hey, it is still spring. You can go for it at your blog wing. There is also an art to each season. Damn, this art thing works every which way for no reason. I think I'll go leave some art in the grass from my ever so artful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

When It Gets Away Through The Day!

The cat is not sure home time gets away from you. Does the clock just up and run away at your zoo? A Brave Little Toaster wannabe? Careful, may get sued at your sea. But we'll go with it for this rhyming fit.

Day all planned.
Things are manned.
Everything is ready,
Words can flow steady.

Whether book or blog,
Cleaning or walking the dog,
Everything is ready to go.
Whoops, it suffers a blow.

The phones rings.
Can be many things.
Some even bad.
Hopefully not more than a tad.

So you yap away.
Time gone from the day.
Now someone is at the door.
Damn, you missed another chore.

Look! There is breaking news.
Yeah, good for a snooze.
The kid or pet wants to play.
Or maybe makes a mess on display.

Add another to the list.
Damn, but that was missed.
Plan all shot to hell.
There goes that door bell.

Phones rings some more.
Another yapping encore.
Computer just got infected.
A virus was detected.

Now that must be fixed.
Plans are sure getting nixed.
Oh wait....help!
You hear that yelp.

Need help doing many a thing.
From homework to getting a fling.
Hey, some need more help than others.
Could even just be pestering sisters or brothers.

Where has time gone?
It was just dawn.
My list is still sitting.
Head against door comes a hitting?

Don't you love when things pop up? They sure can create a hiccup. Do you swear and whine when things don't align? If the computer breaks I may swear a bit. But then I just fix it. Still sucks time away from other things. But that is what always springs. Something else will always get in the way or you'll just stay long at play. My OCD helps when that comes to pass, keeping me a far ahead little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Flip Flop Type Of Crop!

The fun of a theory can make many cheery. Then again the flip side is true as many go all boo hoo. What is the cat going on about? Aren't I being predictable with my shout?

I have a theory.
It may be eerie.
It may be out there.
It may be rare.

It is all mine.
Look, others align.
The theory is out there.
Read and show you care.

Woweee, I was right.
My theory took flight.
But that isn't good.
I already guessed and understood.

So predicable that show.
The writers are just slow.
I guessed that years ago.
Following a predictable low.

What, you were surprised?
It wasn't that prized.
So find a new show.
You're brain dead, you know.

I was validated with my theory.
I am anything but cheery.
Who cares if I was right.
The thing I knew came to light.

I want surprise.
Why can't they be more wise?
Why can't they prove me wrong?
Follows the same steps as Donkey Kong.

Oh, I have a theory.
I'm once more cheery.
I bet that is where they are going.
It has to be such a showing.

What? I was wrong?
They didn't play along?
How can that be?
You weren't supposed to fool me.

I wanted to be right.
It should have came to light.
I'm going to stop watching out of spite.
My theories need to be wrong...I mean right.

Ever hear the flip flop theory nuts? They sure talk out their butts. No matter what the theory is for. If wrong they whine and if right they whine more. Have you got a recent theory? Will it being right make you cheery? Will you find it predictable if you are? Getting out the feathers and tar? Humans are such a predictable mass. Glad I'm just a little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.