Pat Hatt's Blog, page 76

Not There By A Hair!

The cat has had it done and then I have a little fun. Some are just so lazy, but that isn't something any find hazy. Except maybe for the brain dead and the lazy crew. So I guess there may be quite a few.

It's not there.
Nope, not at all.
I checked at my lair.
I followed the bouncing ball.

It lead me nowhere.
I could not find it.
I had time to spare,
But it never showed a bit.

A site, information or even a pic.
Nothing was there as I went, click!
Is there some trick?
You can do it slick.

Why don't you do it?
I'll settle for that.
You make it a hit.
Come on, rhyming cat.

Do it for me.
I can't find it.
You'll cause me glee,
As here I sit.

I searched and searched.
I tried and tried.
As here I'm perched.
Oops, I lied.

I wanted easy.
I wanted you to do it.
I won't get cheesy.
But you're a hit.

Do it for me.
I declare it now.
You'll love such a spree,
It will just wow.

Then send me the link.
Send me what you know.
I'll read as I drink.
I've also got a lawn to mow.

Feel free to do that too.
You are just the best.
I haven't a clue.
But you pass the test.

Pfffft such idiots put more work into not doing it themselves than the collective work of Santa's elves. Some can't use a search engine worth a damn. Others have a brain of spam. Ever get asked to do it for someone instead of them giving what they needed a run? The cat will screw with them and then give sass. That is the best the lazy sobs will get from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Look What I Own At The Tone!

Now we all know about the Jones's type nuts. That has been said at many huts. Been there, done that. But there are more Looky Lous that chew the fat. They want you to be so impressed. Frankly, I'm surprised they can even get dressed.

Look at me.
Share my glee.
I've got stuff.
Can't get enough.

Not a hoarder.
All is in order.
You've been there?
Hoard to spare.

What we want,
Sure does taunt.
It allows a touch,
Or fame and such.

I've got Will Smith's trash.
Stole it in a flash.
Isn't that great?
Won't you be my mate?

I've got so dead celebrities hair.
Her name I can't share.
I don't want you to steal it.
But she had many a hit.

I've got her toe nail clippings too.
Want to see a few?
They are in pristine condition.
But it's paid only admission.

I've got Elvis's mowed grass.
I have it in mass.
It's all frozen in the freezer.
Sure to be a people pleaser.

I even got...shh don't tell.
This one is really swell.
It's Harrison Ford's used condom.
I used the force to bond them.

But that's not all.
I've got a whole wall.
Such things are totally rare.
Like...shhh..hair from down there.

Other stuff I've sold.
These things are pure gold.
Don't you want to view?
Maybe even make an offer on one or two?

Pfffft and pfffft some more a sadly such things are considered "collectible" at many a human shore. Really? Hair and trash and many many other weird things in a stash? That just scares the cat. Less impressive than my scat. Do you have any such "collectible" items like bottled Luke Skywalker gas? Best not to tell my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Little Age Change Wage!

The cat hears humans say they don't change even if life were to rearrange. For some that may be true, as they whine in mommy's basement all the day through. But for others we shall see. Change sure comes, for better or worse, to thee.

Add a day.
Add a year.
Much will play.
Cheer or fear.

Each an add.
Each a loss.
Change is had,
Comes like moss.

Grows more cold.
Grows more happy.
Truth be told,
May get more yappy.

Less is more.
More is less.
Damn the chore,
Leave the mess.

More days behind.
Less days ahead.
Some mean, some kind,
Time has sped.

The less you care.
The more you do.
Either way you're aware,
What others think of you.

More grumpy, more bitter.
Less selfish, less about me.
Can sure take to Twitter,
Or just let it be.

A decision here.
A decision there.
Change is near,
Whether or not aware.

A little more of this.
A little less of that.
Could be bliss or hiss,
Or some extra fat.

Change shall grow.
Change shall come.
Unless, you know,
You just sit on your bum.

I suppose it will come then as well. For you may get wide as Hell. That is some sort of change, right? Change sure happens whether or not we want it to take flight. Age brings it along and we may sing a new song. May not always be a good one and could hurt the ears a ton. But I'll leave that to the singing bass. Now I have to get Pat to change the litter of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A How Dare Sympathy Stare!

So the other day the cat listened to a human have their say. More like rolled my eyes in dismay. Then they caught on to it. Ranting and having another fit. So came the rub along with a "see ya later, bub."

Were you listening to me?
I was talking to thee.
Don't roll your eyes.
Hear my whiny cries.

I'm in such bad shape.
May need duct tape.
It can keep anything together,
Even in the worst weather.

I'm in need of this.
It would sure give me bliss.
Why is it amiss?
Hear me hiss.

What am I to do?
Nothing will come through.
What was that?
Shut up, cat!

You know nothing at all.
That was a mean call.
Stay away from me.
I can't believe that came from thee.

Why would you say that?
You are such a mean cat.
That isn't how people act.
That is a simple fact.

You should be ashamed.
Your upbringing must be blamed.
That human is worse.
I hope you fall under a curse.

You have no clue.
Can't believe that came due.
I am now going away.
I am in such dismay.

I can't believe it was said.
I'll go cry in bed.
Are you happy now?
Don't you raise that eyebrow.

All right, I'm going.
My tears are growing.
You are so mean.
I'll go elsewhere and make a scene.

Any guess what the cat said to the whiny one as they went on their oh so whiny run? It was as simple as can be. You'd think I swore at them at my sea. All that was said was what popped in my head. "I have no sympathy for you because you do nothing to fix things at your zoo." Now I may not have rhymed it but you get what caused the fit. Ahhh the whiner class. They'll get no sympathy from my little rhyming ass.


Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Rated Time With This Chime!

The cat did the whelmed bit. That was sure a hit. Good and whelmed some can be. Who needs the over and under at their sea? Here is another that never gets love. Not even when push comes to shove.

The path is gated.
Poor old rated.
Add at the tone.
Can't be alone.

Overrated it is.
Damn that biz.
Gets my hate.
Overrated out of the gate.

Underrated it is.
Here is a pop quiz.
For you need to get to know,
This underrated show.

What if neither is true?
Can rated come due?
You never hear it said.
Is rated better off dead?

X-rated gets play.
PG rated comes your way.
R rated joins in.
14+ is given a spin.

G even lends a hand.
NSFW joins the band.
But plain old rated?
Must really be hated.

The truth is true.
99% believe it at their zoo.
Never will all agree,
That's known by you and me.

But most from coast to coast,
Neither under or over they boast.
They just love what has come due.
Wouldn't that mean rated is in cue?

Was that a no?
Is rated your foe?
Why all the hate?
Can't rated ditch the over under mate?

It wants to be whelmed.
Not over or under helmed.
Just whelmed and rated,
With no need to be inflated.

The cat just made a case for rated. Ever think rated is ill fated? Rated sure gets the hate. It's never used without a mate. Unless asking what something is rated and then a new rated is gated.That must get on its nerves. Can a word have such swerves? Can't even get on nerves at one's sea. Even if one has them come to be. Rated just threw me into a whole other sass. I'll just stay a whelmed little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Pick A Name Not So Tame!

The cat makes fun of humans as a whole. That is such an easy stroll. You make it far too easy for me. But I never meanly going after one person at my sea. That sure isn't the way of the whole. Many humans need a bash to the head with a lump of coal.

Her I don't like
Him I rather hate.
A fine way to strike,
But then you take the bait.

She's just a bitch.
I don't know her for real.
But oh what a witch.
I say it with zeal.

He's just an ass.
I'd hate his ugly face.
I just know he's crass.
I put him in his place.

Let's up the ante.
Can be so easy.
Go down the umm slanty?
Get even more breezy.

She's a bleep bleep bleep.
I know it to be true.
I read it at my keep.
The internet gave me a clue.

He's a bleeping bleep bleeper.
I heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend.
I never dug any deeper,
But him I'll still offend.

Oh, I'm not done.
Did you see that bleeping bleep?
I hate them a ton.
They are such a useless heap.

I don't agree with that.
I think it is wrong.
I hope you go splat.
I'm right all along.

Because I'm right I have the will,
The will to call you names.
Here, have your fill.
Bleep you, you bleeping bleep and your bleeping claims.

Can't be civil.
Can't sound wise.
Let brain cells shrivel,
As the mud slinging flies.

Pfffft all humans can do as they hide away at their zoo. Okay to dislike something and not agree. But yeah, let's just shout hate at every one of those bleeps from behind a computer screen at our sea. Don't you love haters? Toss them all in moon craters. That will suck the hot air out of them in mass. Such a thing sure wouldn't get any hate from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Try Your Best...Not That Pest!

It's been said a time or ten. All have heard it at their den. But is it ever really done when given a run? Some may say yes and then later no they may confess. They cat can prove it as there you sit.

Try your best.
Pass the test.
Don't be a pest.
Be best of the best.

Working or not.
Best is hot.
Hotter than hell.
Best not to dwell.

Relative at best.
Like a hit or miss fest.
Feast your eyes on that.
Whelmed where you're at?

Best get to it.
May cause a fit.
You're not trying your best.
Come, be a polite guest.

Oh, you were to those guys?
Now you tell lies?
Your best is better for them ones?
Don't tell the nuns.

Best is better at work,
For those with a perk.
Boss best kiss his ass.
Oh look, a pretty lass.

An awful great tipper,
Best beat a free double dipper.
They get more attention.
Maybe even a mention.

Best ways to teach,
High scores in reach.
An either or approach,
That some may broach.

The best across the land.
Isn't that grand?
Those with money get the care,
With much best to spare.

But really, I'm trying.
So quit your spying.
That just makes you a pest,
You'll get a whole different best.

So are you trying your best? Best with winner or pest? Different levels can be at play. Did you even realize that at your bay? Ease, money and what it does for me, can more often than not decide which best comes to be. The more of each and the more many's best seems to be in reach. The cat better now go best Cass. She best watch out for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Maybe Comes To Thee!

Are you in a maybe rut? That can be good at your hut. No, not the maybe way or answering crap. That can just prove you to be a sap. More like a maybe it could be there at your sea.

As you write away.
As you go out to play.
The maybe comes along,
Singing its cheery song.

Or it could be eerie,
Making one weary.
Either way, it's there.
Even if you aren't aware.

The tension grows,
As the maybe shows.
Could go this way or that.
Most kept under your hat.

But it's there.
Now you're aware.
I've said it twice.
Maybe I'm being nice?

Yeah, maybe not.
Free the brain rot.
See? Not nice here.
In case that wasn't clear.

Maybe you'll find nice?
Maybe you'll catch lice?
Maybe around the next bend,
You'll start a whole new trend?

Maybe you'll safe a life?
Maybe you'll find a wife?
Maybe sure has lore,
If you just open the door.

Maybe there's more.
Pffft to that encore.
A setting far far away,
For another long off day.

But maybe and seek,
Gives you a peek.
Maybe could arise,
Whether or not one is wise.

The maybe is there.
The maybe doesn't care.
It's a part of life's will,
Could be more or run of the mill.

Does the maybe make you think or drive you right to drink? A lot of actual maybes that can arise, maybe even right before your eyes. The tension in maybe is good too for a book or movie at ones zoo. But it is there in life and maybe sure can bring strife. The maybe if you did this or that pass sure can fly out like gas and rise up like many blades of grass. It can also be rough on the head if you aren't a crazy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Furry Balls Upon The Walls!

Now that is a loaded title there. Some may sure stop and stare. But no need to go to the gutter. Although the cat will sit here and mutter. Cassie is greedy as can be. She tried to hog the whole cat tree.


Here we are sharing away.Look at those shadows at play. They just dance about,With a twist and shout.

Cassie spots something over there.I must see if it is rare.I jump down for a look. Then Cassie becomes a crook.

See where I have to sit? I blame her for it.No, the cat is not fat.We kinda, maybe, sorta broke that.

And here she goes.Why? Who knows.Hogging the middle,As with a furry ball she does fiddle.

Now the middle and a perch. Should leave her in the lurch.Whatever that means.Hey, I've seen it on human screens.

And she's laughing at me. How dare she.I will get her for that.You can't beat the cat.

Two perches in one.Time I ruin her fun.She is just being a hog. Still not as bad as a dog.

Ready to whack me?I don't think so at my sea.I will get the tree,As the furry ball flies free.

She tries the same trick.She thinks she is slick.I'm not looking this time. Even if it is a scary mime.

And so to Cass,The tower hogging lass,I don't give her sass,Instead I just give her my ass.
Now she can't fool me. I won't see if she tries to let a lie fly free. I may just pass some gas on her head. That will cause her dread. Do furry balls give you such glee? Oh that is a loaded question from me. Maybe you can play with them with Cass? Just don't hog the tower of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Round Sixty Is Here In The Clear!

I think 60 may be the last. Seems searches are a thing of the past. Not a one by words have come on by in weeks. I guess Google stopped with the sneak and peeks.

walmart men's swimwear

Why bother with that? Already got cracks showing where you're at.

parkaing garage signs

Are they that great? Back to pay an hourly rate?

best rhymes ever

Damn, I'm clever to get found for that endeavor.

all seeing eye

The cat sees all. I'm just that tall.

tarsier

The bug eyed creep takes a leap.

Cat pees

I didn't yet. But I will and it's a safe bet.

mooning woman panties

Doesn't that defy the point? Not really a full moon at your joint.

homeward bound

This cat talks too. Who knew?

my thing is stuck

Stuck and thing? Don't need to know at our wing.

mega cats

That like a Pokemon thing? Can the cats sing?

boring boredom

Redundant there at your lair.

housing crisis at five

Not at six? Are you playing time zone tricks?

movies at my place

Depends what one. But we'd probably run.

blue shoe kangaroo

Almost right. One Shoe Kangaroo at our site.

And what could be the final winner at my sea sure when on a spree. A spree of something dumb. Don't you want them to be your chum?

Robbed Granny Panties Neighbor
Did they rob the neighbor of the granny panties or her stuff? Maybe they wanted to see granny in the buff? That visual may be bad. I'll stop now at my pad. Whoops, is it already in your head? Oh the dread. So there is the latest search engine pass as people now just use links to find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.