Pat Hatt's Blog, page 70

Get Ready To Throw And Ho Ho Ho!

We need to get it done. This post must be spun. It just has to be. Bah, that I can see. I don't want to think about it. Nope, not one bit. So I'll fix that. I'll follow a human stat.

Today I can't post.
Nope, not at my coast.
I just can't work.
That is so not a perk.

The keyboard is screwed.
It is being rude.
Or maybe it's me.
I'm not telling thee.

Here you go.
I rhyme from a foe.
I paid them off.
Come now, don't scoff.

I can rhyme.
I keep time
I can rhyme.
I keep time.

Wow, that was a perk.
Hmm, maybe needs work.
I'll throw more money at it.
We can't have it be shit.

I can rhyme more.
I get an encore.
I can rhyme more.
I get an encore.

That was sad.
It's borderline bad.
Maybe a bit more dough.
I don't know though.

I can rhyme more more.
I get an encore encore.
I can rhyme more more.
I get an encore encore.

That gave me a rash.
I need to find more cash.
Here, have some more.
I know you can soar.

I can rhyme more more more.
I get an encore encore encore.
I can rhyme more more more.
I get an encore encore encore.

I somehow don't think it got fixed. I guess that idea is nixed. You humans have such dumb ideas at your sea. Good thing I have no money anyway to go on a spree. Do you just throw money at it and hope it gets fixed? That idea may need to be deep sixed. Sometimes it crumbles like glass. That would hurt if it stuck in my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Remembering Plot Or Not!

The cat looks here and there and all registers at our lair, but do we remember all at every moment of every day? Pffft we aren't an elephant at our bay. Some days in they won't click. Others they shall some slick.

A remembering time.
Easy as can be.
It is a crime,
If not done by thee.

A crime just because.
Because you never thought.
Oh look, some fuzz.
I've forgotten that plot.

You were on the go.
Making sure life stayed sane.
But oh know,
Forgot one thing in your brain.

That is so bad.
So bad of you.
I'm now mad.
So mad I'll moo.

It's the end of times.
Cats and dogs as one.
Everyone loves mimes.
There will be no more fun.

It was only one time.
One time it slipped your mind.
But that is a crime.
Who cares about the grind.

I remembered it.
So should you.
You have the wit.
But you haven't a clue.

I never said a word.
I still remembered though.
You are just a lazy turd.
Tonight you'll eat crow.

Literally eat it.
That's all for you.
Hear my fit.
Every word is true.

It is all up to me.
I remembered every bit.
That plant you can clearly see,
You forgot to water it.

Ever get someone nag at you like that? When with all their whining they could have done the task in no time flat? I've seen it a time or two. Many get upset about the stupidest things coming due. It's especially dumb when someone has a ton of things on the go. They can't remember every little thing every minute of every day at their show. Yet upset one surely turns to instead of just turning to do. Do it and it's done, no need for poor you to be spun. Do you hold a grudge against such a lad or lass? Pffft is all that can be said by my once in a blue moon forget to remember little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Time To Appease The Many Fleas!

The movies can't be good. Nope, can't just make them like that at any hood. That is just uncalled for. They may then actually be worth an encore. We have to stick to the script. The one that you don't see flipped.

Here you go.
Tied in a bow.
Before you start,
Fill the cart.

Your idea is great.
But all can't relate.
You need more.
So open the door.

Time to appease.
Appease the fleas.
You need them all.
Follow the ball.

Damn if it's good.
Who cares if it's understood.
That isn't our goal.
Have to appease the whole.

A character must be gay.
That is just the way.
You must add them in.
It's a must for a win.

A character must be Latino, Asian and Black.
We don't want any flack.
Plus we have to appeal to the Chinese market.
Want them to fill the seats and park it.

Wait, it's an all color cast?
That won't last.
Throw a white guy in.
Force it so we win.

A character must have muscles.
Can even be from Brussels.
Don't forget the shirt off scenes.
Can be with or without jeans.

A character must have big breasts and be skinny.
She can have a stupid name like Babs or Winnie.
She doesn't even need to talk.
We just want people to come and gawk.

What was that?
This movie feels flat?
Who cares, it has it all.
That is all we need so follow the bouncing ball.

You can so tell when they force such things. Nothing but puppeteers pulling strings. If it is part of the story, great, add it in. Otherwise pfffft is all I can say at my bin. Do you force characters or such in just to appease? The cat can give some extra audience of fleas. I'm sure they are around here somewhere in mass. There may even be one waiting to view on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Without A Flaw In the Claw!

Let's lay down the law. There can't be a flaw. Nope, not a single one. That would just make many run. Flaws are soooo bad. Can't have them at any pad. Nope, not one bit. They aren't a hit.

Everything is great.
Everything is grand.
I've got the perfect mate.
The perfect ring on my hand.

Everything is swell.
Everything is good.
I never misspell.
I'm always understood.

Everything is neat.
Everything is rad.
I've nothing to delete.
I've done nothing bad.

Everything is super.
Everything is nice.
I haven't a blooper.
I need no advice.

Everything is here.
Everything is there.
I've got a perfect ear.
I've got perfect hair.

Everything is ready.
Everything is done.
I remain steady,
No matter what's spun.

Everything is wise.
Everything is right.
I always win first prize.
I'm a perfect sight.

Everything is high.
Everything is tops.
I don't ever have to try,
Nothing ever flops.

Everything is true.
Everything is firm.
I am so above you.
I've aced every term.

Everything is great.
Everything is grand.
You cannot relate.
Such perfection can't be planned.

Not even the cat is that stuck up. I'd rather deal with a pup. Know any humans like that? They scare the cat. If you don't think you have a flaw in anything at all. You may need a smack to the head as a wake up call. Flaws are more fun anyway. Perfection is pretty much nonexistent in everything on display. But some still like to believe it within their perfect class. No flawless record or flawless anything else for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Can't Afford Chokes On A Cord!

What was that? You can't afford it where you are at? Yeah, that million dollar house is probably out of reach. I don't think you'll be flying off to space to teach. But what was that? You can't afford "that" is still your chat?

Can't afford a 2 dollar ticket.
I think I'll picket.
That I can't do.
Nope, can't afford one or two.

Can't afford a 50 cent bar.
Not good at ones and bar.
But doesn't matter to me.
Can't afford it you see.

Can't afford a shoe lace.
Nope, I just can't embrace.
I have to walk in bare feet,
As I go down the street.

Can't afford a bucket.
Yeah, $3 I say fluck it.
That is far too much money.
No, I'm not being funny.

Can't afford a toe nail clipper.
Hey, at least they look chipper.
My zombie feet are in.
Don't you think them a win?

I can afford a cruise.
And with it much booze.
That is so great.
I got to be first mate.

I can afford a $100 cell phone bill.
That is such a thrill.
I can be connected everywhere.
Unless in a deep, dark bear lair.

I can afford a $10 coffee with ease.
I buy them whenever I please.
They are just soooo good.
I won't share in my hood.

I can afford designer clothes.
I can even get a new nose.
Don't I look good striking a pose?
Look at my manicured toes.

I can afford the latest trend.
Not having it may offend.
I need to get it first.
That old one may burst.

A bit of a conundrum there. Pfffft to such humans at their lair. Are you one that cries poverty at your sea when it is clearly the fault of thee? Hopefully not. The cat would make fun a lot. There are a ton of those though. Oh no, a 10 dollar haircut I can't afford at my show. But oh yes, a $5000 designer bag I can afford because it has class. Pfffft again to such humans says my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Time For Play All One Way!

The cat plays two way here and there. Mostly with Cassie at our lair. But I eat the dog for fun. That is more one way as I bite his bun. Seems to be one way a lot though. But still fun for me, don't you know.


This is my play.They didn't see it that way.I guard the hallway.No one getting through is play.

Oh, I see more.I give a roar.They give me a few glares. Then they go back downstairs. 
I'm still playing one wayI'm having my say.Thinking how I will play with your toes,While I strike a pose.

 Cassie wants in.She'll take one way for a spin.A little whack near,And howling I could hear.

She did not care. In one way play all is fair.Even standing on his house.Or treating him like a mouse.

 Staring at him works too.Look at his angry view.Isn't that fun to see?One way play amuses me.

Get even closer still.That is sure a thrill.He's got nowhere to run. Stuck with her fun.

 Did you wail?Oh look, my tail.I bet I can get that in.Time to go for the win.

 See? Shadow's on the wall.That means she won it all.She is standing tall.The other guy isn't having a ball.

Grumpy he is still.Cassie got a thrill. Now time to stretch.One way play sure beats fetch.
Do you do one way play? What? It's fun for the one way player at any bay. The grumpy guy didn't want to join in for a playing fit. I guess he's too old for that shit. Cassie was more annoying to him than me. I better up my game at our sea. I can't be out shined by Cass. I will have to be a more one way playing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

It's Official Now So Doesn't It Wow?

You can count on me to bring you everything at my sea. Who needs products that are great? These ones have been proven to be top rate. That is all you need to know. I'll even tell you so.

Pee Water, The Official Water of Dogs.
Nope, not those lazy hogs.
You can be sure it is great,
Because mutts take the bait.

Flip Flops, The Official Shoe of Texas Rangers.
Damn, they'll sure stop dangers.
It's official so buy, buy, buy.
Off the shelves they will fly.

Moose Print Bed Sheets.
The Official Sheets of The Streets.
Millions of streets vouch for these.
Buying them should be a breeze.

Piss Warm Beer.
The Official Beer Of Doctors Who Study The Ear.
We were too lazy to look up the correct name.
But 100% we back our claim.

Walkie Talkies, The Official Communication Means of The NSA.
Now doesn't that just make your day?
You'll have to get them next time you're out.
Antique stores may be about.

Trees With Branches.
The Official Trees of Cow Ranches.
So that is how they grow.
It is always good to know.

Butt Cracks and Shopping Carts.
The Official Product of All Wal-Marts.
Hmm, that one wasn't very new.
I think everyone has seen that view.

Alarm Clocks, The Official Clocks of Bosses.
My, they sure don't want to suffer losses.
Bosses everywhere want them sold.
Alarm clocks are pure gold.

Chewed Gum Under A Seat.
The Official Gum For An Early Childhood Treat.
And best of all it is free.
Hmm, I think we'll go back to the tree.

A Filled Up Litter Box.
The Official Box of The Makers of Socks.
Because then they'll get you to buy more.
Hey, can't help if we miss at our shore.

I have so many more to share. You can email me and I'll send you thousands at your lair. These Official products really help you to buy. Who cares if they aren't used by the Official girl, team, or guy. They have The Official in the name. So that is all you need to light your flame. Pfffft and I'm really a singing bass. So says The Official little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Upped Our Game All The Same!

The cat's goal was done with last years run. But I guess I'm just as mouthy as can be and you just can't stop me. At least not yet. You humans provide plenty of material to this pet.

I've missed this.
I've missed that.
Given plenty a hiss,
Chewed plenty of fat.

I've skipped a chore,
I've skipped a day.
I went out to explore,
Damn the 9-5 bay.

I've skipped a day of writing,
At least here and there.
Hey, had to do some fighting,
With the cats at the other lair.

I've missed a movie.
I've missed a show.
It may have been groovy,
Later I gave it a go.

I've skipped eating.
I've skipped shopping.
Something needed completing,
Or maybe some cropping.

I've skipped a meeting.
I've skipped a class.
Both were so fleeting,
And boring to my rhyming ass.

I've skipped a trip,
I've skipped a move.
Don't give me lip,
Of moving crap I don't approve.

I've missed a deal.
I've missed a job.
At least I'm no seal,
Or some kind of slob.

I've missed a sign.
I've missed a bird.
Lost never did align,
And death to the flying rat wasn't the word.

I've missed a...post?
Whoops, nope not yet.
At least for 6 years at my coast.
Damn, I'm one mouthy pet.

Today makes 6 years that I have not missed a day. I have before way way way back at my bay. But the cat was finding his groove back then. Spelling was scary too back then at my den. Have you ever posted every day at your bay? I know a few who do, at least when the a to z comes into view. I guess we'll see how long I can pass daily verbal gas, as the goal was already met last year of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Single Look, Hook Or By Crook!

Don't look anywhere else today. Stare at what I say. You are going to repeat it everywhere. Are you ready to stare? You can't talk about anything else to anyone. Remember, that's not part of the fun.

This just in,
Famous Bloke no one cares about got a new chin.
Now they care.
Now you stare.

Now you know.
Tell it to friend and foe.
Don't skip a beat.
Tell it to all on the street.

This just in,
Famous Bloke we care about got a new chin.
We heard it already.
But it still comes steady.

You still must tell.
Such news does sell.
Tell and tell everyone.
Write stories on it by the ton.

This just in.
Famous Bloke receives new chin.
You may have heard it before.
But it deserves an encore.

Isn't it great?
Such a fine trait.
Don't forget to tell.
Spreading news is swell.

This just in.
Famous Bloke bought new chin.
That is wowing.
Sure beats new eye browing.

That's not a word.
But don't be absurd.
Talk about the chin.
Not to is a sin.

This just in.
Famous Bloke improved his chin.
That is so neat.
Doesn't it look sweet?

Even the cabbie knows.
Your focus sure shows.
World War 3 is at hand.
What was that? Oh yes, his chin is grand.

Wow, you humans focus on one thing 1000 times over. You have a worse attention span than rover. 500 channels and 1,000,000 sites and they all say the same thing. With a new chinned bloke do you want to have a fling? What does it matter anyway? Wowweeee that is something to talk about at any bay. I just passed some stinky gas. Feel free to spread the word about my gassy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Not In The Know High Or Low!

The cat has seen it a time or ten. By now what haven't I seen at my den? I'm sure there is probably quite a bit. I have yet to see real alien spit. But who'd want to see that? Hey, could have healing properties you can market where you are at. I better stop. This could make too much writing up top.

Keep on a going.
The same old showing.
It may be bad.
You may get mad.

No fun is had.
Back to bad.
Worse and worse.
You just curse.

Keep on a going.
Whoops, did that flowing.
But it keeps growing.
That showing of knowing.

Knowing nowhere is there.
Nowhere to spare.
Nowhere is somewhere.
But pulls out your hair.

Bald and mad.
Lex Luthor is had.
At least you got dough,
If that were so.

On we go.
That you know.
Because we're you.
Confusing at my zoo.

That we know.
So eat crow.
They are tasty.
Enough time umm wasty.

The end is near.
Still bad I fear.
So let's keep on going,
With this showing.

Sinking deeper into a pit.
How about that shit?
Let's keep on going.
We'll get our showing.

Our relationship will magically work.
You magically won't be a jerk.
I'll magically get a promotion.
Can't board the quitting motion.

Pfffft is all the cat has to say. Quitting is fine in many a way. Shifting gears it will allow you and new can come due. Or at least a change of scene. Why beat a dead horse, besides it being mean? Just because something didn't reach the finish line doesn't mean you didn't learn. New ideas and things you can earn. So sometimes quitting must come to pass. On that you can trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.