Pat Hatt's Blog, page 69

A Marrying Way Here Today!

The other day the cat was out and he heard a shout. One guy was making fun as his divorce, I guess, was done. He married the devil at his sea. Damn, how did that come to be?

Married the dark guy.
The one that makes flames fly.
Maybe he was horny?
That could get a bit thorny.

The devil must be nice.
Wonder what was his price?
Was it a soul deal?
Maybe he ate it as a meal.

Never knew the devil got divorced.
I wonder if that can be enforced?
Do our laws apply in Hell?
Down there can they even spell?

Maybe it is too hot.
Pens melt on the spot.
Then that would mean he's stuck.
Unless Hell froze over and passed the buck.

Could make his relationship cold.
Things wouldn't get very bold.
That could be the reason why.
A shame for the poor limp guy.

But wait, there's more.
At least more to my enncore.
I'm thinking this through.
Don't roll your eyes at your zoo.

Okay, is the roll done?
Back to the fun.
The fun being if Hell is fake.
Whoops, he made a mistake.

He divorced an imaginary man.
Maybe he wasn't his biggest fan?
Those fake horns can be sharp.
He could have wanted to play the harp.

Or red wasn't his color anymore.
Wanted more white at his shore.
Found red such a drag,
So he waved the white flag.

Or maybe the white pen.
Dumped the devil from his den.
That imaginary mate took half his imaginary dough.
Where he went? Damned if I know.

The cat had to do that. Ever marry the devil where you are at? That would be rather bad. Did you get out of it at your pad? Hopefully you never had to sell your soul. Ever use or hear that saying as you are out for a stroll? I think I just gave the poor married to the devil humans gas. Oh where the mind goes of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Carve It Out With Your Insecure Shout!

 It's that time of year.The kiddies all cheer.They may get diabetes too,But that's nothing new.
And out they go.A pumpkin to show.They carve a face.A happy or spooky embrace.
Have their own style.Wide or scary smile.The eyes are weird.May even have a beard.
Things they have now,Can sure wow.Helping carvers all over.Can even do one of rover.
But to each their own.They have their own tone.They carve out their way,And then light their display.
Carving out the guts.Blah to many OCD nuts.They toss that aside,Enjoying the ride.
Carve out time to do.Maybe make pumpkin stew.Can you even make that?Sure beats this cat.
Carve out the pest.So they do their best.Can't stay full of goop.Throws one for a loop.
Goop is now lost.It has been tossed.Carved out and thrown.Happiness is now all alone.
No worries or care.They may carve a spare.They make their face,Then off they race.

So be like the kiddos out there. Carve the crap out at your lair. Then toss it away and have a brighter day. That goop will be a load off of you and then you can create something new. There is nothing wrong with that. You can trust the cat. Just stay away from me with a pumpkin's goop mass. I don't need that touching the fur of my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

Be Strong Like Donkey Kong!

Flex and trot around naked as can be. There you go at your sea. He does have a tie I suppose. And he has nothing down there for when the wind blows. Anyway, back on task as I have the strength to ask.

Strength is great.
Those muscles are top rate.
Can't deny that.
Unless steroid freak's at bat.

But that's not all.
Nope, more to it at your hall.
At least with idiots around,
Making many a sound.

Yell and scream,
Like a fan of some sports team.
Yell louder than the rest.
That will pass any strength test.

Be a bully to all.
Push them into a wall.
That will show your strength.
Shove anyone in arm's length.

Fast talk for the win.
Do all others in.
Come out on top.
Sure not a flop.

Follow what your told.
Don't upset the fold.
Stick with what is known.
Don't throw a dog a bone.

Don't comprise one bit.
Who needs that shit?
You are always right.
That is strength day or night.

Always fight.
Always look ready to bite.
Argue over stupid crap.
Be sure and be the winning chap.

Don't listen to any.
Opinions are many.
But ignore every single one.
Even if a new way should be done.

The key to it though,
For super strength to show,
Is just one little perk.
Come be an all around jerk.

Are you like that? Flex such strength where you are at? I hope not. The cat may make fun of you a lot. Probably not in a nice way too. Hey, I have the strength to warn you. Pffft to such people at their zoo. They can go fight with what I left in the loo. Do you have the strength to break logs like glass? Now that would impress my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

It Is Still Bad At Every Old Pad!

So I heard a nut once more give this an encore and the cat rolled his eyes. He sure wasn't going to win any prize. Stunk like smoke but he thought he was a clever few toothed bloke.

Movies cause violence.
Them we must silence.
They are so bad.
Wah wah wah at his pad.

Been there, done that.
Such logic is the equivalent of scat.
Desensitize they can do.
But other than that, some need a clue.

Let's go with it though.
Let's pretend it's a show.
Let's pretend it is true.
Let's see what we can do.

Cars cause drunk driving.
Damn, has to stink for those surviving.
How can they put a car in jail?
Maybe stick them on a boat and set sail?

Food causes you to be fat.
Well how about that?
Food is all to blame.
Food should feel the shame.

Bodies cause cancer.
From plumber to dancer.
No body and you won't get it.
That sure is some shit.

Cigarettes cause smoking.
So go and get toking.
Those cigarettes are there for the taking.
Look at them hippy hippy shaking.

Credit cards cause debt.
Yep, that's a safe bet.
They buy whatever they like.
Look at that brand new bike.

Computers cause crime.
I better drop a dime.
My computer is sooooo bad.
Shhhhh I don't want to make it mad.

Rhymes cause gas.
Better take a pass.
But get a tummy ache,
Or fall in a lake. 

What was that? Not agreeing with the cat? Damn, and I was about to sue my car. I heard its friend caused drunk driving some place afar. I can sue it because of that, right? Pfffft humans aren't so bright. Shifting the blame is all so many do. It's not what's in view, it's you. All comes back to you and what you do. But let's blame the magical gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Little Scoff Put Off!

The cat gets irked here and there and then rants away at his lair. Some nuts just very much annoy. That makes being whelmed hard to deploy. But that one must do or tell them off a time or two.

Appointment is made.
No need to trade.
It's ready to go.
Whoops, changed the flow.

Tomorrow it is.
We'll finish this biz.
Tomorrow I'll call.
I won't go to the mall.

Didn't you hear?
Tomorrow's not near.
It never comes.
Sorry about that, chums.

Tomorrow we'll meet.
We may even greet.
We'll get this done.
Away I won't run.

Oh, that was today?
Did today I say?
I know I said tomorrow.
Sorry if that brought sorrow.

Today you say?
That isn't at play.
It was tomorrow.
Days we can borrow.

I'll be on it.
Meet in a bit.
We'll get it done.
Look at that sun.

Oh, it's raining.
That sure is draining.
We'll meet when there's sun.
That is more fun.

Tomorrow is near.
Lend me an ear.
I'll let you know soon.
We'll meet some afternoon.

Aren't you ready yet?
Today was a safe bet.
But you missed it.
How dare you do that shit.

Pffffffffffffffft is all the cat can say to such idiots at play. Now I'm not talking dating, sometimes you must avoid the creepy that wants mating. I'm talking professional businesses and such. They can sure string you along very much. Then you tell them where to go and whoops, today is tomorrow. Funny how that works isn't it? Doesn't mean they still aren't a twit. Get any of those in the tomorrow class? They can bite my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

It Will So Ignore The Chill!

You know it is coming. I have a daily drumming. At least up until now. Hey, one day I may not post and wow. I have to croak sometime or maybe get a life that doesn't rhyme. The former will happen and so starts this rappin.

May and will.
Each a thrill.
Each a curse.
Not sure which is worse.

But one is right,
Here in sight.
The other wrong,
Yet many play along.

It will happen...
They keep yappin.
Like bippity boppity boo,
And poof, happens to you.

Yep, that is right.
Like a unicorn in sight.
It is oh so correct.
Should get no neglect.

It will happen...
Keep on a flappin.
I'll go and do,
And simply ignore you.

Taxes and death,
Your last breath.
That "will" happen.
The IRS will come a tappin.

But the rest.
Ha, you're a pest.
A positive pest,
But a pest at best.

You'll find a spouse.
You'll get a house.
You'll get a great job.
Your spouse won't be a slob.

You'll magically change.
Your life will arrange.
You'll even win big.
So come and dance a jig.

It will happen...
Keep that foot a tappin.
Just hear my continued yappin.
It's so true when I say it will happen.

Yeah, and I'll sprout wings and fly. I'll be a flying rhyming guy. Then I'll shoot flames from my eyes. A flaming, flying, rhyming guy in the skies. I'll also gain speed from super gas. A farting, flaming, flying, rhyming guy with sass. Hey, it will happen. Okay, I'll stop flappin. Do you use the it will happen pass? Pffft and what I just said will happen to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

30 Miles With Plenty Of Piles!

The cat didn't even know these were still a thing until they wanted to go at that other wing. Then he got roped in. Or rather Pat did with an out and about spin. I stayed in bed and avoided that dread.

Don't be squirrely.
Get up early.
Skip your meal.
You have to get that deal.

The good won't last.
Be a thing of the past.
Early bird gets the whatever.
Worms are even more clever.

Whelmed you aren't able.
That is just a fable.
Push, shove and grab.
A deal you may nab.

You have to be quick.
That's the trick.
Get a deal by the ton.
Don't walk, run!

Get to the next table.
Push the others if able.
If not crawl to it.
You need to get that shit.

So hit the trail.
Get to each yard sale.
Even if they are on the street,
And the yard part is left in defeat.

Can't go slow.
There is 30 miles to go.
They are so long,
You'll sing a happy song.

Finding that deal.
Touch and feel.
Know it's just right.
Buy it just for spite.

Drive, stop and....crash.
Isn't it a bash?
Idiots pulling off each way.
A deal could be on display.

Pffft first and last time for that. Sure did not impress the cat. Nuts were about every which way and mostly crap was on display. But oh, let's get the deal. It's a deal that is real. 30 miles of them too. Whoops, after driving more like 1 or 2. Maybe even half a mile. Ever turn such a yard sale dial? If not you may want to stick with taking a pass. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Don't Get Lost In The Cost!

Boy, that was cheap. Aren't you ready to take the leap? Am I getting ahead? This post hasn't been put to bed? Why would I put a post in bed? That needed to be said.

Look at this deal.
It is so for real.
You get all of this for that.
So cheap where you are at.

No, the fee is flat.
So don't be a dingbat.
Get it today,
Before it goes away.

$50 a month isn't bad.
You can afford that at your pad.
Just like the other stuff.
You can never get enough.

We've got you trained.
Whoops, income got drained.
Now it may be tough.
But don't you love your stuff?

Oh, it broke.
Sorry about that bloke.
Your warranty doesn't cover it.
In other words, tough shit.

But you can throw it away.
Although you still have to pay.
Can't get out of that.
Who cares if you can't feed the cat.

You could fix it too.
Only $5000 to do.
That is just so cheap.
Come now, take the leap.

That's only $99.99 every other week.
You can give it a peek.
Beats throwing it away.
Either way, you'll still pay.

There you are.
Fixed that car.
Or what was it?
I can't remember that bit.

But it was cheap,
And you took the leap.
Oh, it broke once more?
That's only $4386.54 to fix at your shore.

Things are so cheap, right? Until the budget gets tight. Or you make the budget tight by letting such things take flight. Then comes the added cost and soon everything is lost. Or at least the bank account has a far less amount. But oh it was sooooooo cheap. Ever take such a leap? I'll stick to the singing bass. If he breaks, I'll just chew on him with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Power Of Brand Across The Land!

You humans sure stick to this and that like your shoe would to dog scat. That is hard to get off by the way. Or at least that's what I heard Pat say. Beats bare feet though. Okay, away we go.

Stick to this.
Stick to that.
Can't go amiss.
You might go splat.

But there's the might.
There's the not.
Might ain't right.
There's the plot.

Might could be wrong.
Might could be right.
But just play along,
Same day, same night.

Complain anyway.
That you like.
Have your say,
But walk, don't hike.

Want the new.
But watch the old.
How dare you,
Let new take hold.

That's your brand.
Just like it's "your" team
We've unspun that strand,
So I'll let you dream.

You can't cheat.
Yeah, like a brand would know.
Need that same treat.
Even if it is so so.

Other could be worse.
Other could be better.
Can't risk a curse.
I may need to write a letter.

Email may be the way.
But that's for another day.
I'll still get my say.
My brand is here to stay.

Reboot the brand.
It's still alive.
Redos are at hand.
Or would that be sequel #5?

How can other brands ever becomes brands if people stick to the same old stands? And then people are given the same brands with movies and such, whining more than a touch, but they go for a view. Yep, that is really going to get something new. Each movie, book, product, etc. was new at some point. Are you stuck on brand power at your joint? The cat has no need to follow the mass so you'll never brand my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall. 

Way To Be At Your Certain Sea!

Did you know you humans are certain of things? Yeah, we went down that road in my past blog wings. So that you know. But did you know there was another certain blow?

Certain is the way.
The way of the day.
The way of life.
Not for husband or wife.

Nope, for the kid.
Certain isn't hid.
Everything comes to be.
Certain it is for each kiddie.

Certain at five,
School is your hive.
Depending on birthday date,
But still a certain fate.

Certain at six,
There are no tricks.
Next grade will come due.
Don't even need a clue.

Certain if marks are high,
Through the grades you'll fly.
Sometimes even if they're not.
Get pushed through with the lot.

Certain you'll graduate.
Through it you'll skate.
There is no caper.
Walk up and grab the paper.

Certain you'll go somewhere.
Certain you'll have education to spare.
Certain of the cost.
That certainly isn't lost.

Certain you'll take each class.
Certain you'll pass.
With high marks you did.
Certain wins the bid.

Certain is a way of life.
Built in with no strife.
Certain you'll get a job when you're done.
Applying.......Whoops, so ends your certain fun.

The programming is through.
Nothing is certain for you.
Except taxes and death.
Certainly you may need to take a breath.

Ever think about that? Popped in for the cat. Kids are so certain and it is programmed into them after a few decades or so. Then whoops, the real world strikes a blow. Certain gets chucked away and uncertainty comes into play. To such a wake up call we give sass. Certain, for some things, is liked way more by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.