Pat Hatt's Blog, page 94

Kiss And Tell Where You Dwell!

The Wabatat is back. Him and his spit attack. Don't you remember him? He spits on you and you get love on a whim. Yep, it's as easy as that. But let's not re-chew that fat.

Kiss anything.
Have many a fling.
Then go and tell.
Create one big yell.

Take a kiss.
Isn't it bliss.
Say it was musty.
Get hit with something rusty.

Take a kiss.
Back to bliss.
Say she's fat.
You got splat.

Take a kiss.
Something is amiss.
Say it's small.
He'll dash down the hall.

Curl your nose,
Not your toes.
Say there's a smell.
Raise a little hell.

One toe too big.
Dance a jig.
No kiss for you.
Maybe some fat to chew?

Say that's not needed.
Shouldn't be seeded.
Who needs the calories.
May only be able work jobs with small salaries.

Shout bingo.
Add some lingo.
Say you remember their name.
May piss off a dame.

Take the kiss,
But then you miss.
Bad breath you say.
Won't have a nice day.

Kiss and tell.
Raise some hell.
The day will see red.
Could end up on your death bed.

You humans should not kiss and tell. Isn't wabatat spit more swell? Some should know to keep their yap shut or they'll get snip snipped like a mutt. But then it can be fun to watch all run when a little telling is done. Do you kiss and tell where you dwell? A different kind of red may come in mass. Not one wanted anywhere near my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Share With Care!

The cat just has to get this news out. It could help all that is about. I know I've shown one before. But this is sure one that beats everything at any shore. You need it now. It can really wow.

Friepitix is the name.
Saving lives is the game.
At least the game we tell.
But what the hell.

It cures the common cold.
Yep, a cure takes hold.
Friepitix does the trick.
Cures those sniffles some slick.

Friepitix is the future of pills.
So shell out those bills.
That is all I have to say.
Have a nice day.

May cause severe bleeding.
Don't take if breast feeding.
May cause heart attack or stroke.
Don't give to a high risk bloke.

May cause you to go blind.
May cause bleeding out your behind.
May cause your hair to thin.
In some cases baldness was given a spin.

May cause ear aches.
May give you the shakes.
May cause numbness in limbs.
At least during testing prelims.

May cause a migraine.
May cause other body pain.
May cause brain cell death.
May leave you with shortness of breath.

May cause blood clots.
May cause your body to hurt lots.
May cause bloating.
Also worth noting:

In some rare cases,
Rare as in only 1 in 50 faces,
Cancer of any part of the body may occur.
P.S. your words may also slur.

Should any of these symptoms show,
Take a few more pills to know.
No need to stop right away.
But seek a doctor some fine day.

Don't you want your bottle of Friepitix now? It can really wow. Just ignore that fine print. It is nothing but the likes of window tint. It is just there. Don't let it scare. For 1008 bucks a pill you can cure a cold that's run of the mill. In rare cases you may cause more severe stuff to occur. But don't let that ruffle your fur. We've got pills for that too. Got you covered every which way at your zoo. So trust me like you would a singing bass. Or maybe just blow your nose away from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Con Is Sure On!

Do you think the cat would con you? Nah, I've got better things to do. But then again you may get conned in the end. This is quite the con trend.

Con is on.
Used as a pawn.
Con Artist need not.
Con has a plot.

Contest is here.
Conned I fear.
Con vexed a bit?
How about that shit?

Convincing I must do?
Well who knew?
Conveying I must go.
On with the show.

Convict you won't.
Con I don't.
Consist of bad grammar.
But you won't stammer.

Console a Grammar Nazi.
Wouldn't that be fun to see?
Converse with one though,
And you may get a language blow.

Context of this?
Did that you miss?
Concoct a simple plan.
Soon you'll be a fan.

Conceit in my words?
Tell it to the birds.
Continue can I?
That was a good try.

Consult a psychic pal.
Or maybe ask HAL.
Conspire and you'll fry.
That is no lie.

Constant you must be,
Or a con may find thee.
Confirm that to be true.
I double dare you.

Contain yourself, will you?
I have other things to do.
Conquest is now complete.
Isn't going all con neat?

I'd be here all day conning you at my bay. Con sure gets thrown around a lot. Think language is conning a connect the dot? Notice con words a plenty? There are way more than twenty. I'm all conned out now. I'm sure you'll get over that some how. How does it feel to be conned in mass? I'm just a conning little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Schedule Rut At Your Hut?

The cat sees many not able to do this. Does it not cause bliss? Even a cat can change about should something sprout. So that is sad. Some humans must be a bit mad.

I'm all done.
Time for fun.
My schedule is complete.
Isn't that neat?

What was that?
It fell flat?
Damn, no way.
Can't change my day.

Not one bit.
Can't change it.
Nope, not coming due.
Go now, shoo!

You change yours.
I've got chores.
I can't change it.
Look, I'm having a fit.

My schedule is clear.
I don't want you near.
You'll ruin it.
Can't have that shit.

You have a schedule too?
Well, whoopdi friggin doo.
Mine is the best.
It passes any test.

I won't change.
I won't rearrange.
But you can though.
Just so you know.

I may have a heart attack.
Change causes too much flack.
I have to do this, this and this.
I just can't miss.

No changes can come to pass.
Don't be an ass.
I can't change a thing.
Talk to me next spring.

I'll fit you in then.
Maybe around ten.
It's a date.
Enjoy the wait.

Are you one who needs a schedule that's set? Can't fit in even the meow of a pet? No change allowed? Would you rant and draw a crowd? That would be scary. Changing a schedule can make some hairy. The cat can change if need be. As things will happen at ones sea. Later you can always mow the grass. You can trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Log Of Real And Blog!

The cat has noticed a thing or three. As I do at my sea. I'm sure you do as well. Not hard when in blogland you dwell. Unless you dwell in the dark side of blogging. Then you can enjoy your umm flogging?

Blog of this.
Blog of that.
No kind of kiss,
Toward things like scat.

Life going out.
Life going in.
What's that about?
How do I win?

Need a task?
Just let it fly.
With a little ask,
Bloggers give it a try.

Need a task?
Run far away.
On comes the mask,
What's in it for my bay?

Need a hand?
Settle in.
Ask blogland,
They give it a spin.

Need a hand?
Hide your two.
Bury them in sand,
As a chopping may come due.

Not even a need.
Just something there.
Helped at a blog feed,
No ask to spare.

Not even a need.
Wave bye bye.
Walk away at top speed,
Like they can fly.

Together they pull.
Together they try.
Not dealing with bull,
Reaching for the sky.

Together they flock,
A whole other way.
At best they balk,
With a face as if they have an egg to lay.

Bloggers will sure do a lot with ease, just ask and away they breeze. Real life people can be more tricky. Many a time they seem to think the what's in it for me dohickey. Ever notice that? Or is it just the cat? Not that I bother much, but bloggers are much nicer by a touch. Let's ignore the scary and poor pitiful me blog class. They don't count for this post from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Not Tagged But Flagged!

You can't say much now a days or you'll get looked at with a hateful gaze. Not that the cat cares. I'll take all the evil stares. Then just smirk away and go about my day.

You did what?
Kiss my butt.
You said what?
Are you a nut?

You've been flagged.
That post lagged.
Flagged for it.
Every little bit.

Person was said.
You should drop dead.
"son" is all male.
That is such a fail.

Crazy was used.
I'm not amused.
You are insulting the mentally ill.
You are so run of the mill.

Flagged, flagged, flagged.
You'll never get shagged.
Not with your evil ways.
You are lost in some hateful maze.

You made fun of an elf.
You made fun of yourself.
Degrading little people everywhere.
Showing for yourself you don't even care.

You rolled your eyes.
That is not wise.
I'm offended by that.
Flagged you where you're at.

Now you'll get banned.
I hope you get canned.
How can you say such stuff?
Per"son" is so manly tough.

Equal it should be.
Say people at your sea.
You got flagged for that.
I flagged you where I'm at.

But don't use "you people."
I'll throw you from a steeple.
After of course you get flagged.
I can't believe you bragged.

Ever get threatened by a nut saying they will flag you for some stupid thing at your hut? I just saw a comment on some blog as I was hopping and they gave the flagged dropping. So I went with it. In blogger can you even do that flagging shit? Such people are nuts, crazy, bonkers, whatever in mass. I guess I just offended a whole bunch of cashews, peanuts, etc. with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Neighbor Nut In A Rut!

The cat is glad we got out of that last place. It was becoming a crowded space. Not really crowded for me. But annoying as can be. A bum moved in. That is a sin.

Hey neighbor, how are you?
A greeting to come due.
A grunt they got.
The feeling we caught.

Do you have this?
It must cause bliss.
Can I borrow it?
Soon took the hit.

Pat said no,
And away he did go.
No to the do we have it.
Ended that asking fit.

But then you'd hear,
Just perk up an ear,
Hey neighbor, how are you?
And the same shit came due.

Bugged one and all,
Out in the hall.
If he heard them coming,
That same crap he kept humming.

Yep, he'd open his door.
Couldn't sneak by at your shore.
Like he was staring out the peep hole.
Maybe a peeper is his goal?

Peeper in training.
A bummer who's draining?
Draining all of their stuff.
Never getting enough.

A pack rat maybe?
Hoarding others stuff with glee.
Beats the heck out of me.
Never got a thing from our sea.

Can we have that back,
Heard at my shack.
Some fools gave in.
He must have thought that a win.

No! I'm not done.
I'm still having fun.
I'll get it back soon.
Yeah, and I'm a raccoon.

Ever have neighbors like that? Get suckered in where you're at? Some people are just annoying as can be. Scam artist wannabes that make me flee. Neither a borrower or a lender be. That works for our sea. Especially with idiots like that. They can be peed on by the cat. On neighbors we'll take a pass. They can stay far far away from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Any Time, Any Where At Your Lair!

The cat is here all the time. I have a daily chime. So should I say you can read it anytime, anywhere? Hmm, not unless I want to lie at my lair.

Anytime, anywhere.
That doesn't get a care.
No one gives it a second thought.
Except we see through its plot.

Watch, read, play.
All use it on display.
Commercials or ads.
Fun things or fads.

It's used a ton.
But they jumped the gun.
How is that?
Follow the cat.

You're in Timbuktu.
Try to read my zoo.
Whoops, no good.
Need a new hood.

You're out to sea.
You try to read me.
Whoops, not a chance.
Can't even get a glance.

You're high on a mountain top.
You want to leave a comment drop.
Whoops, no connection near,
As you freeze off your rear.

You're in outer space.
A new rhyme you want to embrace.
Whoops, NASA says Hell no.
You miss out at your show.

You're in a deep dark hole.
Criminal deeds were your goal.
But you still want a rhyme.
Whoops, you did the crime.

You have no dough.
No internet in tow.
Whoops, no can do.
But that you knew.

Anywhere, anytime.
A lying chime.
Has been proved.
Weren't you moved?

Moved to think there at your rink? Can't believe all. The cat proved it at his hall. Anywhere, anytime I'll rant away. Unless my tongue got chopped out at my bay and there was no computer on display. Then be screwed with my say. See? Anywhere, anytime is a lie. Proved by this rhyming guy. Now I'm done with my proof pass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Not So Universal Fate Comes To Make Eight!

The cat doesn't get to rhyme once more. That is so mean at our shore. But Pat does get to release a new book. So we will go with it at our nook.

Click Here For A Peer!
In A Not So Universal World, Book 8 in the series, Jeremiah and Trudy have finally made it to Olympus to save their son. After saving Earth's time fraction and destroying the Freton all they want now is to get Trent home and relax. But Crackle has other plans for them. Drazin seems to have plans of his own. A mysterious old man going by Chappy has plans set in motion. Even Zeus and Tripit become involved. What they thought was a straight forward task turns into their most dangerous adventure yet.
The pair quickly learn that the quest to save Trent proves to be more than they could have ever imagined. Traversing through time, other universes, parallel planets, fake worlds and even old age, Jeremiah and Trudy are left with only one option. They must fight once again to save those they love and themselves. Grudges come to light, true friends and enemies take form and more questions arise as to the true purpose of Olympus. All while Jeremiah and Trudy fight ever closer to finally saving their son.
And that makes eight in that series done. Only four more to be spun. Then the 12 set out from the start will come due. Will sure get there with all in view. Until nine here is eight. A fine non rhyming fate. 9 will bring together the entire character mass. That will sure be quite the pass for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Length And Time For A Chime!

A bit slow are you? Well many humans seem to be at their zoo. But that you knew. The cat just can't help telling you. What one is it today? I don't have any length of time to have my say.

Whoops, I was wrong.
I can sing a cheery song.
Those blue guys can join in.
Those movies were a sin.

Fall for the trap,
With the DK rap.
Maybe talk to inka dinka do.
But that few knew.

Have I proven it?
Yep, just a bit.
Proved also I'm full of it?
Yeah, I have such wit.

You can't hold it?
You're having a fit?
Not for any length of time?
Damn, ruined that chime.

You can't stand them?
You are spitting up phlegm.
You hate them that bad?
Not for any length of time at your pad?

You can't write?
Not day or night?
Not for any length of time?
Damn, by typing it you ruined the chime.

You can't exercise?
Is that wise?
Not for any length of time?
So you move less than a mime?

You can't talk?
Not even as you walk?
Not for any length of time?
Whoops, you said that chime.

You can't understand?
Damning my confusing land?
That will amuse.
I like to confuse.

For any length of time.
I'm in my prime.
At least for a time.
Now go kiss a mime.

How long did it take? Figure out the point I was trying to make? No? You failed? Damn, I bet it was nailed. You just have to take the time. Okay, I'll drop a dime. Even a millisecond counts as time, so you can't even fool a mime. The any length of time excuse doesn't fit. Maybe you can't do things for long before you take a hit. But you can do most things for some length of time. Even if you are a mime. I'll stop picking on humans and the mime mass. They may send killer mimes after my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.