Pat Hatt's Blog, page 96

Spruce Up Your Pad With An Add!

Your browser is bland there in your land. We can't have that. Come and follow the cat. There is so much more we can add. This isn't some fad. Add on with glee. It really will help thee.

Add ons for you.
Add ons for me.
So many in view.
No whelmed for thee.

I'll help you pick.
No problem at all.
This rhyme does the trick.
Start your own mall.

That's right indeed.
A stalker add on.
Let it take seed.
It's not a con.

A show your face one.
Now that is fun.
You can be seen a ton,
By each and everyone.

A new search engine.
That is a need.
Soon you'll be binge in,
Some cheap dirty deed.

Why not a blocker?
Block out the worst.
We wouldn't want a shocker,
To cause your heart to burst.

The money tracker is here.
Add it with glee.
You'll always have it near,
Plucking away at your money tree.

The daily planner is on.
Don't miss that one.
It starts at dawn.
Now go for a run.

The cute cat pic.
Now that is slick.
It's a good trick.
So go ahead and click.

And the best of the best,
It beats all the rest.
The extra little pest.
Let the NSA be your guest.

Don't you love the cat's suggestions today? Go and add on at your bay. Let your browser get so full that it no longer has any pull. Then you'll go so slow, but who cares, the NSA will know. Facebook will too. You can wave at them from the loo. Do you add on in mass? I don't have any thanks to the OCD of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Feel The Points In Your Joints!

The dating nuts aren't back yet. But one day having them back is a safe bet. Still who needs those nuts. We got more to help you get out of dating ruts.

Step right up.
Fill your cup.
Meaning fill in each blank.
Tick the box or walk the plank.

You need to do it.
Fill in every bit.
If you don't we can't match.
Don't you want the best of the batch?

How old are you?
Have any kids come due?
Would you date one with kids?
Do you take gambling bids?

Do you like to stare?
Do you want to be a pair?
Do you like to run?
What do you find fun?

Are you in shape?
Shaped like a grape?
Need a mate like that?
Don't worry, we won't fall flat.

Are you into older?
Are you into bolder?
Are you into younger?
One to thirst your hunger?

Do you really care?
Do you like long hair?
Do you have money?
Do you think you're funny?

Congrats to you!
Your matches have come due.
You've got so many.
Now don't neglect any.

Here they are.
Near and far.
Many on hand.
Isn't it grand?

They are a 95% match.
Open that latch.
You got so many more.
So open the door.

Pffft says the cat. Do you love the same old survey crap where you're at? Still shows the same matches. They just stick them in different batches. But oh, they are 95% in tune with you. They are even in tune when they poo. Doesn't that just make you want to join the online dating mass? You could get matched with a furry little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Generation One Is Spun!

A generation one rhyme today. What is that at my bay? Why it is when I just go on about that and this. Don't I do that every day without a miss? I suppose the cat does that indeed. But this is going back to the past at my feed. When the cat was testing things out and just rhyming everything that was out and about.

Do you see what is going on yet? I think that is a safe bet. It is far easier to read the rhyme the way the cat got it down then to go on and on in old paragraph town. Hey, at least I'm not white font on black. That gives many an eyesight attack. Do you know any blogs that give you an eye attack? I know a few that give some flack. Large font isn't so bad but small font makes it very annoying by a tad.

See how I can go on about anything at all? It is as easy as can be at my hall. The cat enjoys running down hallways too. But I'm sure that you knew. Do you run down hallways as well? Don't trip, that isn't swell. We really get annoyed by small hallways here. They are hard to clear. Moving anything down them can be a pain. Another thing is when people block the lane. Let's put tables and other crap in the small hallway. Yeah, it may get in the way but it is such a nice display. Pffft cluttering it up is annoying. Clutter filled hallways we aren't enjoying.

What about the nuts that only buy a lottery ticket when it is really high? Your odds are the same no matter when you try. Yet they think 500 million is so great. Like winning 45 million is such a bad trait. Pffft once more. Yeah, you could never ever live off of 45 million at your shore. Oh, and don't forget that if you don't win it is rigged and such a sin.

Does one have too much time on their hands if they blog? I heard that once through the fog. Yet the same nut whined on Facebook every chance they got. Some people just can't be taught. Dumb is dumb I suppose. Some dumb just really glows. If it really glowed all Glow Friends like, the dark would forever take a hike. We'd never need lights again. They'd shine up every den. Feel the glow. Know that show?

Enjoy the generation one rhyme? That was before the cat was in his prime. He just went on his way and had his say. I still get it with ease and will rhyme what I please. Generation 2 rhymes are just easier on the eye. Aren't I a nice guy? I still have the same generation of gas. That stays the same as it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

What's In An All At Your Hall?

So what is in all? Deciphering that may be like an endless bouncy ball. It may just go on and on like that dumb bunny. It may also cost you a bunch of money.

That is all.
So stand tall.
That is all.
Find a stall.

Hide there.
All to spare.
Pull your hair.
Maybe swear.

That is all.
Don't fall.
That is all.
Enjoy the mall.

Just a need.
Like a weed.
Knock it down,
Back in town.

This must be done.
Then off for fun.
That is all.
Whoops, hit last call.

Add more to it.
Don't throw a fit.
Take out the trash.
Put something on the rash.

Go to the store.
Don't sit and explore.
No time for that.
Can't chew the fat.

Need more of this.
No time to miss.
Have more to do.
Get a clue.

Add in some of that.
Take away some scat.
Throw in a helping hand.
Don't pop a gland.

Fix it with that, this, that, this and that.
Add in some of that, this, that, this and some other scat.
Climb, bend, scoop, pull, run and stand tall.
Don't worry, that is all.

That is all they say. That is all can turn into a full day. Hell, can turn into a full week. Can leave you up the creek. Has that is all gone on long at your sea? That is all can also be costly to thee. That is all hardly ever seems to be all. More gets added to the call. But the cat can say that after this sass that is all until tomorrow  from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Why Even Ask The Long Task?

The cat even uses this one a time or two. I think everyone does at their zoo. But does it really need to be asked? It seems the long gets masked.

Bake a cake.
A car to make.
A swim in a lake.
How long will it take?

A game of Donkey Kong.
A sing a long.
A trip to Hong Kong.
I have to ask, how long?

Burnt on a stake.
Catching a snowflake.
Spotting a fake.
How long will it take?

A movie with King Kong.
To make muscles strong.
A movie with Cheech & Chong?
I have to ask, how long?

Done today?
Done when through play?
Done tomorrow afternoon?
Done on a full moon?

Whoops, not done.
Lied a ton.
This got in the way.
That was on display.

I found something wrong.
It screwed the how long.
It needed more fixing.
Original time I'm nixing.

The stove broke.
I never awoke.
I was late getting in.
How long needs a new spin.

Maybe tomorrow.
Forget the sorrow.
Maybe next week.
I have to fish in a creek.

How long will it take?
No plans you better make.
Could be a wait.
I can't nail down a date.

Ever get screwed on the how long it will take? Did the how long jump in a lake? Things get changed and screwed a time or ten. The how long is at best an estimate at many a den. Especially if say the cops are behind you. Then your trip may take a little longer to the zoo. How long did it take you to read my sass? Hopefully that is similar to most days from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Round Fifty Four Takes The Crazy Tour!

They still keep on coming, although a few do the same old strumming. It's a good thing I'm far enough ahead that I can bring you some different brain dead. Is that a good thing? Bah, on with it at my wing.

pat ahtte

That like scrabble? An extra E in which to dabble?

hot blonde with big ass

That surely isn't me. But I can give you a flea.

dick slurpy poem

No thank you. I won't go there at my zoo.

animal rights signs

My ass in the air works at my lair.

money wal mar figures

Do I look like a stock broker? I'd rather play poker.

Casie in the bath

She'd bite your arm off and drown you in a horse trough.

stalker in my pants

Damn, was those pants. Could be more than ants.

hats off pat

If I don't wear one can it come off me? How about that flea?

i found my pat

Hmmm, stalker alert. Sorry, I don't flirt.

Hoping for wishes

Don't lose hope your wish may be granted by the Pope.

More money please

Me too! Send it to my zoo.

Under the bed dust

Use a vacuum and duck. The dust will be shit outta luck.

busting a shit

That new slang? If not, dang.

klomperstomper guffs

Anyone know? Damned if I do at my show.

And the winner for this round sure gets umm around. A cheat rhyme there but you won't care. Just look at this nut. Sniffed one too many a butt?

Hooray Hooray dicks hands to stay
Is that some rap song? That sounds all wrong. Maybe they got married and have someone to umm yank? But can't they themselves walk that plank? On second thought, I don't want to know that plot. This has been another crazy pass as the nuts that find my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Care For An Advance Glance?

The cat has to join in. This just has to be given a spin. You are all here everyday so you just deserve it at your bay. What is that? Just follow the cat.

For the special ones,
Comes an advanced screening.
Now don't get the runs,
And no stomping, pushing or leaning.

Each take your turn.
Sit down and wait.
For then you will learn,
What will be on plate.

Maybe that's on deck.
But I really don't care.
What the heck,
Could use a spare.

Now that your seated,
A new rhyme shall show.
Today you will be treated,
To an advanced screening glow.

Others have to wait.
Those not here at seven.
Be glad you took the bait,
This screening will be heaven.

Remember not to tell.
I don't need bad press.
But then if you raise a little hell,
People may come more not less.

The credits shall run,
And my name shall be shown.
More credits when we're done,
And maybe a hidden scene all alone.

Get your food now,
And maybe a drink.
You better hold it somehow,
Because you won't want to miss a wink.

Plus I have no human loo,
So you'll have to use the litter.
That doesn't go over well with a human crew,
And may make some bitter.

And now you've seen it.
The screening has been shown.
Wasn't that some good shit?
Leave your reviews at the tone.

Aren't you happy now? You were all chosen to see an advanced screening of my meow. You were only the special chosen few. The cat knew that would impress you. Now you may go use the loo. Just be sure and give a review. Ever see an advanced screening come to pass? Now you have, thanks to my rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

In It Goes The Nasty Nose!

On top of getting as nosey as can be, you humans sure nose around from sea to sea. That nose is stuck everywhere. Remind me never to touch a nose at any lair.

You nosed it out of the way?
Nosed what at your bay?
Was it nosing a bus?
Hopefully your nosing didn't make a fuss.

Was it on the nose?
Smell like a rose?
Hopefully so.
On your nose things could grow.

Would that be brown nosing?
Suck if you were posing.
Such a nose would take away,
From everything else on display.

Wouldn't need your nose in the air.
A brown nose is rare.
At least rare to see.
Many brown nose like a busy bee.

Guess that wouldn't work,
For a clean nose perk.
Keeping one's nose clean,
Can be tough in the brown nose scene.

No skin off your nose?
Is that how it goes?
Can you scrape it off?
That may make one scoff.

Couldn't poke your nose in.
That wouldn't be a win.
You would be spotted.
No spy time would be allotted.

But could avoid it.
Who needs brown shit?
Just put your nose to the grindstone.
That may hurt and make you moan.

That could make it bleed.
Would be a rough deed.
End up paying through the nose?
Who'd want the snot that flows?

Maybe humans are just blind.
Wouldn't be the first time for mankind.
Can't see past the end of their nose.
Striking a nose in the air pose.

Did you know your nose was into everything? Ever stick a nose to a grindstone at your wing? That would sure hurt a bit. Who wants to do that shit? Speaking of which, a brown nose would make us twitch. You sure can nose around in mass. Although I'd avoid nosing around me gassy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Delay Here Today!

The cat was going to post this 10 years ago. Even before I had a blog it was going to show. Yeah, isn't that a feat? I'd have still been in university and on that party street.

This post was made.
The path was laid.
But the host got drunk.
Whoops, lost in a trunk.

It finally rose.
That's how it goes.
Whoops, host got a job.
Beat out poor Bob.

Still working elsewhere.
You can sit and stare.
Won't make it come faster.
You may as well plaster.

Ran out of money.
That isn't funny.
So we're stuck on pause.
I know, no applause.

The cat did another post.
This one got sent to the coast.
It was burnt like toast.
Damn, I may roast.

It will post today.
Whoops, went astray.
It needs more work.
6 stanzas isn't a perk.

The post is glitchy.
That may make some bitchy.
We have to fix it.
Can't have that shit.

This post is against another.
It will sure smother.
We want our post to be seen.
That other more popular post is so mean.

This post needs new marketing.
Maybe some telemarketing.
See? It used a cheat rhyme.
More marketing isn't a crime.

Finally it's out.
Doesn't it have clout?
Only took ten years.
Now let out your cheers.

Don't you love delays? They come in many a ways. Games sure get delayed their fair share. Some movies and books do by the pair. Many a thing sure can get a delay. Many excuses too at play. Some delays are needed to come to be. Others are just excuses for all to see. But had to poke fun at delays in mass. It was delayed long enough by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Please Wait For Every Trait!

Please wait comes due a time or two. The cat is seeing it right now as a slow ass site loads some how. That set me off for today and so we'll have our please wait say.

Please wait...
A fine trait.
They are nice,
No screw you or lice.

Phones and sites,
Have it in lights.
Need help or a PIN.
Please wait gets the win.

But it gets very thin,
When for everything it's given a spin.
Could cause strife,
If please wait was for all of life.

A bomb is about to go boom.
The whole city will be covered in a mushroom.
Can disarm with a few seconds to go.
Please wait...boom, a crater below.

A heart transplant is taking place.
Everything is done at a steady pace.
Whoops, the various thingys stop.
Please wait....damn, you joined the dead crop.

You are about to be shot dead.
Someone wants to shoot you in the head.
The gun trigger is pulled,
Please wait....you run away not lead fulled.

You go to a bank machine.
Those buttons sure aren't clean,
But you use it to get your dough.
Please wait....the line up continues to grow.

You go to a new job.
You beat out poor Bob.
You get to the door ready to work.
Please wait...eventually we'll need a new clerk.

You wait for a rhyme.
The cat's daily chime.
It doesn't show up.
Please wait....stuck with a hiccup.

Please wait....I'm soon done.
Please wait....look there's sun.
Please wait....a new rhyme will be spun.
Please wait....at least I'm polite to everyone.

Any more where please wait would suck? I'm sure there are many where please wait would pass the buck. Please wait sure can't be used for all. Then things would really stall. Yeah, I know fulled is a bad grammar pass. But please wait while I decide if it bothers my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.