Pat Hatt's Blog, page 95

Can I Irritate On This Date?

The cat can irritate with ease. It really is a breeze. Maybe it is a skill? No way will I chill. If I want that lap. You are going to give it to me and let me take a nap. I'll bug until you do. Better go before I irritate you.

Time to irritate.
Might lose a mate.
Might lose an eye.
All depends on the girl or guy.

But is it bad,
Or rather sad?
This you don't see.
Irritation is free.

Free to you.
Free to come due.
Free to list.
Free to be missed.

What's with free?
Have I lost thee?
Confused and abused.
You know I'm amused.

But stay whelmed.
My point will be helmed.
As in ready to show,
As away we go.

Irritation is free,
Like a repeat spree.
I said it again.
Irritating at my den?

Irritation is free.
Irritation is free.
Irritation is free.
Rolling eyes at me?

Who got irritated?
Who was just baited?
It wasn't little old me.
It was thee for free.

Starving and broke.
No irritation for that bloke.
Busy with health.
Irritation has no wealth.

It holds nothing at all,
To many a hall.
Why? Because it has a cost.
The free is then totally lost.

Did you follow the cat? Got it good where you are at. If you can afford to be irritated at your sea then you are in the irritation for free. If you can't afford irritation because your time has much more important a delegation, like finding food or dough, then it is a costly show. Are you irritated that I showed you your irritations are pointless as can be? Especially sense they are free. Free to have and free to lose. You are the one that lights that fuse. Now I am done with my eye opening pass. I'll go back to being an irritating little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Cue The Song And Sing Along!

The cat needs to up life. We don't need any strife. Well we will get it. But it too can be a hit. We just need to make life like TV and cue a song for thee.

Driving along,
Singing a song.
Away you go.
That you know.

What happens later?
Like falling in a crater?
Because I got High,
Plays from the sky.

Meteors strike.
That no one will like.
Great Balls of Fire.
It plays as things get dire.

You stub your toe.
The tears do flow.
You and Me plays.
You and your toe get a starry eyed daze.

You get dumped.
Never get humped.
Hit The Road Jack.
Humping you lack.

Things go wrong.
Worse and worse before long.
You even hit a moose.
Highway to Hell let's loose.

You get humped.
Things are bumped.
Nothing is wrong.
Shook Me All Night Long.

The moon makes you wacko.
You can't blame umm Jacko.
Bad Moon Rising chimes in.
You go for a nutty spin.

Things look bleak.
You're up the creek.
You need to be cheery.
Hakuna Matata ends that theory.

You are now cheery.
Nothing about it is eerie.
Who needs any talkin.
You Can't Stop Rockin.

The cat could go on all day. Wouldn't you love tunes to chime in each day? They'd always fit the moment at hand. You'd be right in TV land. Unless maybe if the wheels on the bus chimed in. That may not be a win. Plus they could block out any unwanted sass. Annoying songs would probably play around my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A New Loving Mate To Lovingly Date!

You know the cat has to. I have to help at my zoo. I want you all to have love. So I'll give you many choices from above. You'll want every single one. I just know it with today's run.

Looking for the one to grow old
Sorry, no life insurance pay out will take hold.
I love to spend time washer, fishing, hiking...
Is washer some kinky thing to your liking?

Courtney girl
So you give two country names a whirl?
I love everything about the woods
Even bear poop or scary banjo playing hoods?

I don't have anything to say here
My, won't you get many a peer.
I'm very down in earth.
Journey to the center of worth?

Major unsolved date.
So you are a mystery mate?
Business as usual down here
Do I even want to come near?

I'm in your area so gie me call
Nah, go back to your Facebook wall.
Sweep me off my hands.
You have a thing for hand stands?

Let's sea how it goes.
Nah, no sinking woes.
I like long walks on short beaches.
Hmmm, maybe your math skill reaches?

If I like you...can I keep you?
No Misery wannabes allowed at my zoo.
Looking for someone with a gambling problem like me.
Now that is a great first line for any to see.

Be my good boy
Get a job for that joy.
Why can't this be quick and easy?
Isn't that not so umm pleasy?

Like being outside garding
Do you have a gift for carding?
I'm trying this seen for a change.
You still may need a little rearrange.

I want failure of the heart.
Damn, maybe you need to fart?
I have no body to call my own.
So you are a robot that leaves a message at the tone?

Don't say the cat never helped you out. Now you can have some love about. Don't you want to grab one today? They sure sound so great with their say. Yeah, you may be better off with a blow up mate. At least they'd be a cheap date. The cat is through with his dating sass. They are just scary to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Test To Rid The Guest!

 Time for a test.Try your best.Do not fail,Or you may wail.
Whoops, I mean nope.You will cope.Easy as can be.I'm testing thee.
You didn't wail?That's not a fail.So you passed.You didn't get gassed.
Copped you did.No flipping a lid.Flipping a bird?That's absurd.
Or is it?Who needs that shit.You flipped it the bird.Two for two is the word.
I'll have to try,For an oh me oh my.How is that?Who gives a scat.
Yeah, who cares.Get some stares.Walk away and wave.Brave or grave?
The wave was cocky?The grave was rocky?The wave wins?Fill your tins.
Now bury the tin.You get another win.Tossed it aside.3 for 3 with pride.
You passed the test.Aren't you the best.You can now rest.Freeing yourself of that insecure pest.
Can sure spin it around when insecurity is found. Wait, did you go all grave? You have an insecurity that is a fav? Damn, you failed the test? Pffft don't give in to that pest. Flip it the bird and don't give it a word. The cat will give all a pass. You wouldn't want to be failed and gassed by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Come And Learn When We'll Return!

The cat is here today to have his say. Yeah, that is every day at my sea. But this one is special to thee. I know it is so don't use that denying biz. For it tells all when I'll return at my hall.

I will return.
I rhyme will spurn.
Or maybe just show.
Damned if I know.

Wait! I do know.
Okay, on I go.
Going going gone?
Could work at my lawn.

Won't be after a commercial break.
That takes time to make.
Plus you fast forward through those.
Who wants those kind of woes?

Won't be after the summer.
So hide away the rummer.
No summer season break.
That is too hot to take.

No winter hiatus.
Screw that status.
Depends on how you say,
If that rhymes away.

No We're On Vacation.
That may give elation.
But depends on where we go.
Plus we'd have to come in tow.

No technical difficulties from the blogger beast.
We hope so at least.
Anytime they can strike.
Making all take a hike.

No hiding away,
From the light of day.
Apocalypse isn't now.
You can trust my meow.

No I have nothing to say.
Pffft to those posts on display.
My muse is always fine.
Can't stop the feline.

No...so wait, when?
When at my den?
A lot of nos but no when.
Is that some kind of zen?

Have you guessed yet? Are you saying fluck this pet? That is illegal in most states you know. Just stay away from the window. What poppy cock? Bah, don't use such dirty talk. You guessed right. The cat will return tomorrow at 7 at his site. Wasn't that harder to guess than passing bad gas? It's alright if you assumed otherwise for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

No Tricks As That Makes Six!

Six years have come and gone here at my rhyming lawn. That is a lot of rhyme that I have given a chime. Does 6 do anything special for you? It must feel sad getting left out while 1, 5 and 10 impress at every zoo.

Here's to 6.
Six can do tricks.
It can spin upside down.
Now 9 has come to town.

It can go straight.
Then flips to mate.
Now d comes to pass.
6 can sure impress in mass.

It can flip flop too,
Creating something new.
That would be P.
Does that make 6 in me?

What's in a name?
Who cares about that claim.
6 is one of a kind.
Yeah, I've lost my mind.

Like some out there,
"cough" Rosey's "cough" lair.
As 666 scares her at play.
Can do tricks and scare any day.

6 can mean things too,
If you believe that stuff at your zoo.
Like 666 going, Boo!
Hey, 6 can have fun in view.

6 is the first perfect number.
Eat your heart out cucumber.
6 can make veggies jealous as well.
6 surely does raise hell.

6 is considered the number with the most harmony.
Is that why the dating site isn't called disharmony?
Would 6 even be the cause?
With my detective work I should get an applause.

Did you know 6 was a she?
Damn, sure looks likes a he.
Don't see what I mean?
With d6 you get a bit unclean.

But 6 has negatives too.
Bet that you never knew.
It can be small minded.
Maybe after d6 it got blinded?

Expect the 6 to get such exposure from me? Hey, it is 6 years of blogging at my sea. 5 and 10 get all the exposure everywhere. I'll give it to 6 at my lair. Sure has been 6 years of fun and the cat still isn't done. Many have come and gone and come and gone. I sound like umm never mind at my lawn. Are you at 6 years of blogging sass? I know some have even more than my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Down The Drain On The Useless Train!

Let's all get a degree today. We can do it at my bay. I'll help you all out with ease. It will be a breeze. Just stick your credit card number here. I promise you will cheer.

Need that degree.
Here it is for thee.
But that isn't all.
Plenty more at your hall.

All here for you.
You and me too.
But ignore the me part.
Take the you to heart.

Me? I get the money.
That makes all sunny.
But you get the degree.
Now be a busy bee.

Take what you want.
Go ahead and flaunt.
I'll get you in the end.
Hey, have to keep up the trend.

What trend is that?
Why it's add more fat.
Yep, that is it.
No need to have a fit.

I want you to be well rounded.
Many courses will be surrounded.
They are called elective.
You can be kinda selective.

But you need some.
Beat that drum.
Take the stuff you don't need.
Money for me sprouts up like a weed.

What was that?
You need no fat?
Bah, can't get picky.
That would be tricky.

You still need to pick.
Adding things up brick by brick.
You have to be well rounded and such.
So you must take much.

Glad you agree.
Now you have a degree.
Who cares about the extra debt.
You just made me a rich pet.

Don't you want a degree with me? It will be so great for thee. Forget about the me. Let the money fly free. If you know what you want to do, I still will shove courses down your throat for you. Damn, how did a college person get here. Who authorized that cheer? I'll have to look into it for each class. But you can still get a degree from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Serious Day On Display!

Today we can't have fun. We have to be serious with everyone. That is just so rude. The cat likes his attitude. But we have to. Humans made us at our zoo.

I broke my toe.
Oh no!
That may hurt.
Blood may spurt.

Seriously? You broke it?
Nah, I just said that shit.
I wanted to see what you'd say.
Now seriously, go away.

I won a new car.
Boy, I'll travel far.
It is great on gas.
Others I can now pass.

Seriously? You won?
Nah, I lied to everyone.
I just felt like it.
Seriously, you're full of shit.

I almost died.
Everyone cried.
It was a rough day.
Caused much dismay.

Seriously? You died?
Took a short bus ride?
That was you I saw?
At least you admit your flaw.

I won an election.
President is my detection.
I'll get there soon.
Maybe I'll get my own cartoon.

Seriously? You ran?
Nah, I got a tan.
I rested on a beach.
I chowed down on a peach.

I walked today.
I went to the bay.
I walked back.
I walked in my shack.

Seriously? You walked?
Is your brain stocked?
Is everything wrong mysteriously?
Why do you insist on saying seriously?

Ever get a nut like that? Saying seriously every time to make you repeat each stat. Pffft once in a while I can see but some use it like leaves on a tree. As in many a time. Seriously, I have no use for that chime. Unless you win a billion dollars or grow golden grass. Then you may hear it said from my not so serious little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Buggy Treat To Come And Eat!

The cat touched on this in a fact or two but now you'll get the full blown scoop at my zoo. Soon you may even make some dough. It's a growth sector, you know.

You can pick it,
Whether ant or cricket.
Soon it will be here,
And everywhere far and near.

Right at your door.
At the grocery store.
Need that protein.
It will make you lean.

Might taste like chicken.
None Pat is pickin.
But the cat takes them all.
I eat them down the hall.

Ants you can squeeze.
Forget those fleas.
Have some cricket legs.
Have them with beer kegs.

A caterpillar or two,
May sure fill you.
The butterfly effect?
That may make you umm erect.

A ladybug meal.
Now that's a deal.
It won't get spotty.
So says Scotty.

A stink bug stew?
That may be eww.
But some may enjoy.
Could be a nasty ploy.

Hop to the beat.
Grab a treat.
Don't be a flopper,
Snack on a grasshopper.

Weave a web line.
All will align.
Spiders are other.
But with ketchup you can smother.

And there are more.
Get creative at your shore.
Have a meal of bugs each day.
Soon many will be on display.

Hear that yet? Fine by this pet. Bugs will be the newest food. You'll use them to feed your brood. Aren't enough chickens to go around. So bugs galore will be found. Are you ready to snack on bugs in mass? It would be amusing to see for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The What Is In A Rut!

The cat is typing out a rhyme right now. No, he is not giving a meow. I am going to type and hit post soon. But that you knew at my sand dune. Didn't you? Some humans don't have a clue.

I'm typing away.
All through the day.
Just typing right here.
Have no fear.

Maybe fear for you,
And many in view.
For they are dense.
Maybe sat on an electric fence?

Why is that?
Why fall flat?
Too many reasons to name.
But this post has a claim.

What are you doing?
Umm, I'm not chewing.
I'm typing like I said.
Can't get that through your head?

What are you doing?
You I'm now shooing.
Get the hell away.
Go drown in the bay.

What are you doing?
Is this some kind of wooing?
Are you as blind as a bat?
Maybe drowning in scat?

What are you doing?
Soon I'll be suing.
You won't like that.
Sued by a cat.

What...shut up.
Go bug a pup.
Can't you see?
I'm having a pee.

I'm driving a car.
I'm walking far.
I'm vacuuming the floor.
I'm resting at the shore.

I'm sitting on my ass.
I'm passing some gas.
You I'm now booing.
But what are you doing?

Can't you humans see? Why ask when you are beside me? That is like talking about the weather when two humans are together. I'm doing what I'm doing. No fat needs chewing. Not like I'm chopping a foot off. So there is no need to scoff. Now I'm passing some more gas. It just wants to come when humans are near my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.