Pat Hatt's Blog, page 91

Private Nut In A Rut!

The cat doesn't want you to know he has gas. Whoops, posted that in mass. Damn, I'm sure confusing there. I don't want you to know but I tell you at my lair. Get it? You will with this fit.

I want privacy.
That is my policy.
A cheat rhyme in my prime.
I'll do it more than one time.

Back to privacy.
Don't want piracy.
Can be avast any land lubbers.
That could piss off umm rubbers?

Trojan may not find joy.
Hey, could be a pirate toy.
A bit off track.
Back on the attack.

Piracy I want.
Those crazies can haunt.
Shouldn't tell what I do.
Oh no, that is so bad at my zoo.

Look at my funny pic.
Like and click.
Look at my fancy car.
I can drive that far.

Pics galore of my house.
Doesn't even have a mouse.
It is brand shiny new.
All there for all to view.

Did we mention we are going away?
Yep, will be away a week at our bay.
No one will be home at all.
Don't you love our shiny hall?

But we are going to a private place.
That puts a smile on my face.
It's in Bora Bora.
There we'll umm whora whora?

I'll be sure and show pics too.
There will be plenty to view.
Be sure and like each one.
Now away I go to have fun.

I want my life private though.
That I really do know.
Don't watch me NSA.
But liking my pic is okay.

Pfffft are you one of those? Whine about all the privacy woes? Then you go and post all the crap on the internet for all to see. Such people deserve what they get with their not so private "like me" spree. Hit with the dumb stick as they try and choose and pick. If you put it out in mass then you are less private than my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

You Have It With This Fit!

You have a lot of it this day and age. You can be all the rage. It isn't that hard to do. You just have to get in view. Wait, it could be hard. But we will pull the non hard card.

You have it.
More power than spit.
You can do shit.
Every little bit.

Power to you.
Power through and through.
The power is true,
Whether on chair or loo.

The power to say.
The power to play.
The power to display.
The power to make a new way.

Just create this.
Create some sex video bliss.
That sure isn't a miss.
Morons will cheer and not hiss.

Play to fear.
Shake your rear.
Show it far and near.
People will still cheer.

Say something dumb.
You'll lay a bread crumb.
Many will beat your drum.
Cancer can be cured by gum.

Get numbers by the ton.
Then have lots of fun.
Say someone shot a gun.
Poof, you go from nobody to nun.

A saint you are.
Saved with a har har.
A pirate at a bar.
Whoops, lied from your car.

A simple click.
That was slick.
Take a pick.
Pull any trick.

You have the power.
Make all cower.
Do it once an hour.
No need for a tower.

Did you know you had such power? Damn, don't wipe it off in the shower. You can get the brain dead to follow you. All you have to do is put something in view. Then you'll be sure and win. All will follow your looney bin. It may end bad with such a pass. You may get loved by a cult mass. I'll stick to powerful gas. That will knock them out and keep them away from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Hunt That's A Stunt!

The cat will never run out of posts at his sea. You humans make it impossible with your dumb spree. A new thing every day and you probably do them many a way. But today is the stunt of the witch hunt.

The witch hunt is grand.
Humans take a stand.
They use it across the land.
Let's give them a hand.

But oh dear.
They do it out of fear.
I mean look at that scary toad.
It tried to cross the road.

All road crossing toads are bad.
We need to kill them at every pad.
We can't let them live each day.
We need to end their road crossing play.

If we don't they might....might....
Who cares. They cause a fright.
Let's get them all now.
They will screw us up some how.

I don't need a good reason.
Those road crossing toads commit treason.
They need to stay by a lake.
Warts they may very well make.

So follow me.
End their spree.
Join the witch hunt.
It isn't a stunt.

Let's get those windows too.
They allow people to see you.
We have to smash them all.
They let nude people be seen at each hall.

The mailman told me.
We have to end this spree.
Windows and toads,
Smash and kill by the loads.

Don't forget sand.
That stuff isn't grand.
Cats use it to bury their shit.
We need to blast away every bit.

This isn't a stunt.
I'm being blunt.
I'll stand up front.
Join my witch hunt.

Pffft to dumb humans near and far. Have you ever joined a witch hunt at your sand bar? Do you think a toad crossing a road will get to you? Better not answer that if a yes comes due. The cat may give you a rhyming pass. Hey, it would be more fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Exclusive Club In A Shrub!

The cat wouldn't mind hiding in a shrub. I could make it my hub. Bush #5 is already there. You can see it if at one of the headers your stare. But enough about that. Exclusive is where it is at.

Exclusive are we.
We merry three.
We may be lying.
No prices you are spying.

Guess we're average here.
An average rhyming rear.
We don't charge a fee.
So anyone can visit we.

But look at that...place?
Don't you want to embrace.
It's a run down shack.
In all want to pack.

Why is that?
It costs a mighty fine stat.
Yep, it costs $1000s to stay.
Screw that much better hotel across the way.

Anyone can go there.
Only a few hundred for that lair.
That just isn't right.
Only the exclusive ones see the light.

They stay in the shack.
Average we surely lack.
More like we have total crap.
But you aren't an average chap.

We got bad food.
Staff are rude.
Things may break.
Water is better in a polluted lake.

That is the way.
Exclusive we say.
If it doesn't appeal to you,
Then you can't afford it at your zoo.

That is our story and we're sticking to it.
We are exclusive and none of that average shit.
You'll want to stay for the exclusive alone.
So hit the bell and pay up at the tone.

We are oh so elusive.
Everything isn't inclusive.
But the evidence is conclusive.
All flock to the exclusive.

Do you stay at run down crap falling for the exclusive lap? Funny how they think that works and they don't have any perks. Just take your money and run. But hey, around you won't be the average by a ton. That has to be worth the extra money mass. Pffft says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Cross The Divides With The Besides!

The cat listened to a nut the other day. The same damn thing they did say. They said it 12 times and the I stopped counting. What was it that was mounting? I'll get there at my lair.

There could still be snow.
I hate that you know.
Know you do.
I just told you.

I told you before?
No need for an encore?
That's beside the point.
Did you hear about the butt joint?

Yeah, it really is there.
I know you really don't care.
That's beside the point.
Don't get your nose out of joint.

I didn't hold you at gun point.
I never hurt your wrist joint.
A new rhyme I should appoint.
But that's beside the point.

What was the point?
Do I really need to anoint?
Nah, that wasn't it.
Isn't this some shit?

There was a bear in the road.
It left a great big load.
That factored into what I was saying.
And look, you aren't even paying.

Should I charge for this?
That may bring bliss.
My wallet is in disjoint.
That's beside the point.

It can still fill.
Use it on a bill.
Who gets paper bills still?
That should be nil.

But that's beside the point.
Don't you love that hip joint?
That thing can sure cause pain.
Maybe that's a no pain no gain.

Some have said no pain no game.
That is really rather lame.
But that's beside the point.
This point I really should anoint.

Catch the point in all of that? Are you just confused by the cat? I could go on forever like some humans at my sea, but there are more important things to do for we. I never even got to the point that that saying was said a ton. There we go, all done. Don't you love the never ending roundabout way? Didn't that just make your day? But that's beside the point class. The butt joint better stay in for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Dog Eat Dog Treat?

The cat has seen many a mutt. They seem to invade my hut. I may invade theirs as well. Some I even find swell. Hey, I can chew on their tail and sit all smug as they wail.

Dog eat dog.
Not a brown log.
But dog eat dog.
Someone go through a bog?

Dog eat crap.
Check across the map.
Dog eat trash.
Check with its stash.

Dog eat shoes.
Check, may have had Blue's.
Dog eats roadkill.
Check, gets its thrill.

Dog eats litter.
Check, must be some bitter.
Dog eats leg of chair.
Check, eats the whole damn lair.

Dog eats grass.
Check, eats in mass.
Dog eats leftovers.
Check for many rovers.

Dog eat dog.
Nope, maybe a frog.
Does a frog look like a dog?
Confused between dog and frog?

Hot diggety dog.
You blamed a frog.
The frog that ate a dog.
Whoops, bad eggnog.

Reverse that.
Cat eat cat.
Who says that?
No one where they are at.

Like a dog with a bone?
Have to say it at the tone.
Human eat human though,
Has been done you know.

Don't want to offend cannibals everywhere?
So dog eat dog gets said out there?
Quite the dog and pony show.
Pony = cat? Damned if I know.

I suppose if dogs eat grass then they are eating all other animals in mass. Unless you get turned to ash then they are just eating trash. Used that saying at your sea? Makes little sense to me. Dog kill dog has come due indeed. But they don't really eat each other at their feed. But then it proves dogs are dumb enough to let humans get away with such sass. Never happen to a cat like my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Stupid Are Coming So Start Chumming!

Ready to get chummy are you? You humans like that through and through. Follow the one with the loudest yap even if it is a trap. Look at you go, flushed without a blow.

All alone.
Hold the phone.
A nut chimes in.
Eating is a sin.

Goop through a tube.
Fits many a boob.
Don't need lube.
Comes in a cube.

Wow, that's great.
All can relate.
Save cats, dogs, cows, rats, monkeys and man.
Good for even a happy cannibal fan.

That is the way.
The loud mouth idiot did say.
We all have to agree.
Let's join in from sea to sea.

Why not join?
Costs little coin.
Everyone else is doing it.
Can even suck out your shit.

Wait a second there.
I was not aware.
That could poison me.
McDonalds is the best eatery.

Everyone follow me.
You're only charged a minimal fee.
That is the best diet.
You sure should try it.

Oh what was that?
You could get fat?
We can't have that.
We make like a cat?

Pissing in an elevator is the ticket.
No one anywhere will picket.
It gets the McDonalds right out.
There is no need to shout.

Come now and follow me.
I am right you see.
Goop in a tube is so yesterday.
Hurry up, and don't stray.

That sure went into strange land. Hey, I had to let the stupid get out of hand. You humans sure follow stupid people near and far. Are you with stupid at your sand bar? I hope you have more sense than that. But if you want, piss in an elevator like a cat. I heard that line on TV as this came to pass. So it was worked in by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Repeat That Where You're At!

There is sure many a way for humans to have their say. That we surely know as they give it a go. Most of it rather bland. Like the "repeat that" used across the land.

Can you repeat that?
Nope, not me.
A one said and done cat.
Sorry if I talk too fast for thee.

Can you repeat that?
Wow, deaf and dumb.
Go chew some fat.
Now I'll just hum.

What?
That your best?
Quite the rut,
You put to the test.

What?
Who cares.
You're a nut.
See my glares?

Not to mention.
Been there, done that.
You get repeat attention,
As you chew that fat.

Not to mention.
Oh, go bite me.
You just want attention,
As it will be said anyway from thee.

You said it.
That I did.
Every little bit.
Don't flip your lid.

You said it.
This I know.
You like repeat shit.
Go watch a repeat show.

You're telling me.
That the cat is.
Go fall in the sea.
No repeat biz,

You're telling me.
Okay, I'll tell you.
Go and live free,
Dunk your head in a loo.

Use any of those ones at your sea? I'm betting they get slipped in from time to time for thee. The what Pat has used a time or ten. He must have a low attention span at our den. Now I'll go listen to the repeat singing bass. At least he asks nothing of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Which Is Fact With The React?

The cat has seen a few. They crop up at any zoo. Whether near or far they can sure hit like a car. Maybe literally too. Look both ways when a street is in view.

Do you shriek?
Do you run?
Maybe just squeak?
Dial 911?

But for what?
Following me yet?
Mind in a rut?
Yeah, I'm a confusing pet.

Did you freak?
That was bad.
Mind in the creek.
Not an emergency to be had.

Unless literally there.
Hannibal took it out.
Even cut your hair.
Brain swimming like a trout.

Would you ewww?
Would you walk away?
What would you do,
With an emergency at play?

Do you have a fit?
An arm is chopped off.
But who gives a shit.
It makes you scoff.

Are you all about me?
Call 911 about you?
Poor pitiful thee.
You are about to spew.

That is so bad.
Arm chopped off can't be worse.
Your emergency is had.
Maybe you just curse?

Calmly pick up the phone?
Calmly say what it is?
Shriek at the tone?
You sure like that yelling biz.

Wait! You dialed 911?
You are being attacked?
Wow, that spider made you run.
For the hospital you better be packed.

Act calm and do what needs to be done? Or do you shriek and run? Do people really shriek like in every single show? It's a dead guy, oh no. A killer is coming at you, shriek and stay in view. Pffft just hurts the cat's ears in mass. I'd rather do just about anything besides shrieking off my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Random That With A This Stat!

These just wanted to come out so the cat gave them a shout. Out they did flow. Why? Damned if I know. The brain said type it and so I did every bit.

There once was a man in a tin foil hat.
He fell down the stairs and then he went splat.
We don't know the why, we don't know the who.
All he said was, "They got me, boo hoo."

The window is blocked, the door nailed shut.
So says the one stuck in a rut.
The ceiling is steel, the floor is too.
There is an escape, the hole for the loo.

Spoilers are given at a free rate.
Some are new, some out of date.
With each one there is a whine.
Surfing such sites just isn't divine.

Up we went and down we go.
Where we stop, that you know.
Or maybe that you kinda knew.
Let's keep that between me and you.

Set in stone is the saying that's used.
That can leave many amused.
Others may cause an interruption to pass.
Can't amuse the whole human mass.

The bed was made and the floor was clean.
The whole house had some kind of glean.
Why is that? Well that is easy to know.
The house was for sale and up for a show.

The real world brings on the fake.
The fake makes you do a double take.
Between real and fake the medium lies.
Finding such a spot is rare beneath skies.

There was an old fat man with a white beard.
He was something the whole town feared.
Then he gave all toys and a wrapped gift.
Cut his work down to a once a year shift.

There were peas in a shoe and corn in a glove.
They wouldn't leave with any push and shove.
Like rocks they were while stuck in place.
The Great Corn Pea death is still an open case.

A meowing cat was seen on the street.
It was enticed in with a fancy treat.
The humans gave it a name and it was lame.
The cat didn't care ruling the fellow and the dame.

The cat really went off today. Anything your brain wants to make you say? There has to be something that pops on in and wants to be given a spin. Let it out with ease whenever you please. The cat does whether it's nice or sass. It just flows out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.