Pat Hatt's Blog, page 137

With This Trait We Take The Bait!

Bait is everywhere and at it each day you stare. Did you ever consider the bait? Maybe you and some bait can mate. Hmmm, where that could go. But I really don't want to know.

You've taken the bait,
Reading my rhyming trait.
Really? Reading a rhyming cat?
How sensible is that?

Bah, who needs that sense.
That just leaves one dense.
So keep taking the bait.
Now let's make the bait mate.

Could help the law,
As your nails you gnaw.
I think they call that a rat,
Not the kind liked by the cat.

Oh look, money.
Damn, that is funny.
I bought my ticket.
Bait made you pick it.

Bait and allure,
Both are pure.
Both are bad.
Both can let fun be had.

Depends on the bait.
Some is first rate.
Some is in the hole.
Bait plays every role.

Bait is a drama queen?
A micro manager on scene?
Damn, such a greedy thing.
Bait must really like to sing.

Looky a headline.
That sounds fine.
Click bait made.
Hey, all's fair trade.

Win dough, win a car,
Bait has you near and far.
Horrible news, canceled show,
Bait has you in the know.

Eyes flirt at the bar,
You go to the back of a car.
Bait screwed you in the end,
And an STD is now your friend.

All the places bait can go would leave me here forever rhyming high and low. Do you ever take bait? Ever think about bait's trait? Hopefully you watch the bait when you mate. Don't need an STD bait on your plate. Now I'm done with my current pass and off I go with my baiting little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The 28th Day With Much At Play!

Wow, so much to do at every zoo. Just type in a number and you won't have time to slumber. Google is a nice friend. It will be with you to the end. Warning, it may spy or lead you somewhere where you may die.

It's the 28th today,
But that I bet you knew.
If you lost your way,
I don't forgive you.

What? I'm not a forgiving cat.
So friggin what?
Deal with that.
Am I in a what rut?

It's 28% day.
A 28th annual rib fest.
The other 72% sail into the bay?
Isn't ribbing the best?

It's the 28th pregnancy week.
Damn, I didn't even know.
Were you playing hide and seek,
Down there below?

28th in words.
I just don't have the skill.
28th in words of birds?
Mountain out of a mole hill.

That would be some mountain.
Or would it be some mole?
What if it drowned in a fountain?
Would it still leave a big hole?

On the 28th I went off track.
It was a bad thing to do.
A mole had a heart attack,
And I bankrupted the mole zoo.

Go to 28th ave. for a rest.
I hear the hotels are great.
Which 28th ave. has the best?
Sorry, you asked too late.

The 28th metro cruise.
That is big news.
How can you lose,
By going on a cruise?

And if that isn't enough,
The 28th has much more.
Get ready for some science stuff,
The 28th Fungal Genetics Conference is something of lore.

The cat just wanted to see what Google would give me. So I type 28th in and up popped this stuff for the win. Any fun things on the 28th at your sea? Do you want to go to the fungal conference with me? Maybe the 29th will be more fun. Okay, for the 28th I'm done. Until the next 28th comes to pass. Then I'll 28th away my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

2000 Today, Sorta Anyway!

So today I am writing my 2000th post. This isn't the 2000th post to post at my coast. Are you confused at your sea? That is nothing new when visiting me.

2000 have come and not gone.
I've written them for each dawn,
But they have not shown.
Did the bell ding at the tone?

That is right.
Scheduled at my site.
Even the 24 in one day.
Can celebrate twice that way.

2000 sure is a feat.
Never would have guessed it at my street.
Figured I'd make a rhyme or three,
Then run off on some other spree.

But here we are,
2000 at my sand bar.
Even if they don't show.
You believe me though.

And all original too.
Take that Hollywood redo.
You can't top the cat.
Maybe in $$ where you're at.

2000 is off though.
That 2 has to go.
Guess I'll have to make it to 10,
To appease my OCD at my den.

Hey, 2000 only took 5 years or so,
Means I got another 20 to go.
Wouldn't that be nifty?
Still rhyming when I'm fifty.

Any guess what post 2000 will be?
Could go anywhere at my sea.
But then I already have gone everywhere.
So maybe you'll just sit and stare.

A nice white screen.
Hopefully it will be clean.
I can't promise though,
Especially if you are as dirty as a crow.

2000 I'll say once more.
Took a ton at my shore.
How many words you think that is?
Quite a lot with the rhyming biz.

Got to 2000 yet at your sea? Do you schedule ahead like me? It can be rough to do if you have a current news of any kind zoo. Otherwise as easy can be. I wonder what the 2000th post is that you will see? Maybe Gloria will get her zombie feet? That might be neat. I bet I'll still have gas and still be a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Box You Say On Display?

The cat doesn't mind boxes at all. They are fine and dandy at our hall. But Cassie has another idea for everyone. I think humans already do this one.


Cassie wants Blanket Day.Easy peasy at each bay.Curl up and sleep.Works for our keep.

I prefer the box.It has no locks.In I can go,After running to and fro.

Cassie gave it a sniff.Maybe it was me she wanted to whiff.I chased her away.It was my box on display.

But she came back,On the box eating attack.I guess it was yummy.Could be hard on the tummy.

She came in,Sniffing my chin.I ran away.Damn crowds at our bay.

Can you see?There is Cassie.She claimed it after my dash.Pat didn't use the flash.

I remembered my box fondly though.It had quite the space you know. Cassie stole it from me.That caused me no glee.

So I found a comfy box.Nice carpet more comfy than socks. I'll just eat those,Leaving Pat with holey toes.

See? Said it was a box.This too has no locks.Two ways in and out.So I had no need to pout.

Cassie went back to her original plan.I guess of it she was more of a fan.The box remained empty after that. Oh the life of a spoiled cat.
Agree with Blanket Day at your sea? Or would you rather hop in a box with me? I may chase you out. That could make you pout. It may have a funky smell as well. Hey, gas can be hell. Enjoy your boxes class while I rest my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

We're Still Here With Christmas Cheer!

Did you think the cat wouldn't post? Pffft, you should know by now at your coast. The cat shall not miss a day, even if the fat guy comes our way. We were on patrol though and thankfully, none of the below did show.


There was no smoker,Or Santa toker. That made us glad.Who needs the bad?

Thankfully there wasn't a ton,As we have no room for everyone.Plus Santa germs we don't need,Here at our blog feed.

 And umm, just no.This guy would have to go.Thankfully he didn't show.We don't need a final blow.

And no skinny ones,Gave us the runs.Plus he wasn't dead,With a tilted head.

He came and went.We didn't get bent.He was rather spry,For a jolly fat old guy.
Hope you have a good day and none of the above Santa's came to play. That would just suck. Unless they gave you a shiny new truck. But it may be stolen or "borrowed" at least. So chew on that as you feast. Anyway, Merry Christmas from prissy Cass and my every so little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Day Of Done With The Fun!

The cat is relaxing away here at our bay. We are back from that other sea, I really hate visiting nanny. But shhh don't tell. Profanity Granny may raise hell.

Back to life,
Free from strife.
Or barred with it.
Like the 9-5 shit.

No longer merry,
Back to contrary.
How life goes.
People and their woes.

Like a flip of a switch,
From saint to bitch.
Whoops, did I say that?
Such a naughty cat.

The trees are out.
Done snacking on trout.
Or would that be turkey?
Some may chow down on jerky.

The red suits are gone,
No lights on the lawn.
All collecting dust again,
Unless you decorate "early" at your den.

The kids are in school,
The air is cool.
The snow is falling.
I find that appalling.

Bills to be paid.
Call that fair trade?
Or maybe dumb luck?
Yeah, go and pass the buck.

First you'd need a buck to pass.
Maybe use a loonie mass.
Could go all toonie.
Don't you love this cartoony?

No more cheery songs,
Unless nuts sucking on bongs,
I can't vouch for them guys.
Hey, I tell no lies.

I can now nap,
Without a butt sniffer chap.
Such a peaceful time.
Unless you're a mime.

What was that? I'm off where I'm at? I'm still stuck at nanny's you say? This horrible day hasn't gone away? Hmph, the cat will have to wish harder to go home. Pat is so rude for making us roam. But Merry Christmas Eve to all as you deck the hall. Hey, it's June with this pass, so I don't need to be a cheery little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Two Days To Go And There Is Quite The Show!

So last year this time I decided to write this chime, after watching nuts in a store. I just wanted to watch at my shore. I figured it would be good blog fodder for me and I had some time to kill before going to the other sea.

Two women fought over a turkey.
It looked as small as jerky.
I guess they needed more,
Or waited late at their shore.

There were more cars there,
Then a car lot has to spare.
If you wanted to park,
You'd have to find a place with no mark.

Carts were filled to the brim.
Are these people dim?
I can see forgetting a thing or two,
But enough to feed a whole zoo?

Shelves were good and bare.
I did spot some hair.
That made me think, yummy.
Want some hair with your gummy?

One guy elbowed a little old lady,
Yeah he was quite shady,
To grab a can of some crap.
He took off as she began to flap.

Another lady took the last cart.
A whiner had to go make a dart.
He found one in the corral.
He was quite the foul mouthed pal.

One took his whole arm,
And caused a shelf harm.
Yep, the guy took his arm and plopped all in his cart.
All that canned crap can't be good for the heart.

People were as grumpy as can be, 
Not very Christmas like at their sea.
Carts were rammed here and there,
You'd swear we were at an American lair.

Some whined they still had to wrap.
Another whined he needed a map.
Yep, he was lost in the store.
Or maybe he just needed to shop more.

And that was my walk.
I didn't even talk.
I just strolled on in and out.
My, what angry shoppers can shout.

Why wait until the last day? Are they that nuts at their bay? Think they are going to get some big deal? Like those things are ever really real. I guess the cheer doesn't count in the store. Nuts going in and out each door. Glad I needed nothing at all. But fun to watch at my hall. Not that I want to do it again. Rather go play with a hen. You shoppers sure aren't a merry mass. You scare my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

What Not To See Under The Tree!

The cat will save you some time with today's rhyme. Unless your mind has already be tainted by some. Then I guess you can just agree with my rhyming bum.


If the fat guy is green,When upon your scene,Turn the channel away.You'll have a better day.

If the fat guy needs Greyskull,It will turn out dull.Worse than that.Be pretty much scat.

Speaking of scat.Avoid this where you are at.A bad sequel rip off thing. No praises for it you will sing.

Pac-man stopped eating.I guess he skipped trick or treating.Or maybe it grew fleeting.Either way, well worth deleting.

Sonic is fast.So make this a thing of the past.Run away from it. Sure not a hit.

TMNT's singing a tune.Splinter even does like a loon.Sooo just not right. Your head may get a holey night.

Want to be hairy?Otherwise this is scary.Star Wars it is not.Barely has a plot.

If you gotta catch them all,Might want to rethink that call.Santa and Pikachu.Who knew?

Yoshi the stuff eating reindeer.When he comes near,He'll gulp you down,And poop you out as an egg over town.

And do I need a reason?This is just treason.Run the other way. Don't join the scary fray.
And now I have saved you time. No need to watch any old crime. Can keep the holiday spirit as these would make you fear it. Maybe if you have little time to waste and pretty poor taste, give them a go and see if you agree with my show. Otherwise avoid each and every pass. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Merry Whoopdi Friggin Doo Starring Many Of You!

Robbie Raisin is here to spread lots of cheer. Actually I just want to put on a show so my ratings don't blow. I need to make a buck too. Let's hope you all have something great to get people to tune in and view.

So Blue Grumpster guy, what would you start off with to make the ratings fly?

Not a toad
On the road
Or a fox
In a box
Wearing socks

That was so helpful as it ruled out 2 of a 100 billion things. Hank, I see you waiting in the wings.

Pity the mutt
A boner of sort
It has to live with it then, the nasty Vet!

A dog with a boner that's been fixed. Wow, Beer Guys, can you make that nixed?

Can't tell if yawning, or sneezing, or biting, or all of the above.

Do you really want to do what a boner dog does when boning? PL Keenor do your senses have another honing?

scared the you know what out of me!

Shit doesn't fly on air. Tabbies, anything from your lair?

orlin: " I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse "

cassie: "do I look like I give a damn " 

This isn't a puppet show you know. Bijoux what would you put on the show?

My kids could write a book called Paranoid Grandma.

How long would that take? Betty, tell me ratings you can make.

along with the image of the cat and pee

A kids book with grandma's, cats and pee. Gloria, say you have something for me?

Sounds funny!

We've hit the low audience today. Robyn, care to make them go away?

some cats ARE assholes and deserve to be bitten

Biting cats would keep them here. Betsy, bring a good idea near.

Biting a cat back is just funky!

We know that. Truedessa, anything wise where you are at?

I saw a naughty shot, the cat should give you a swat

You want to bring porn to this? Anne, anything besides such bliss?

She's so much like me, it's uncanny. Except that my tits still sit a little higher up than hers (for now anyway)

Anne, the porn star? Did you go very far?

I need professional help.

More than we needed to know. Suza, you have to have something to add to the show.

Made me spit out my drink

Backwash? That is it? Brian, anything to make it a hit?

Yep, that one will me in my head fur a while!

Anne's images must stick. Keepin It Real Folks, care to make your pick?

I'm impressed with how clean your house is!

This isn't for the OCD nuts. Jax, get us out of these ruts.

I can only imagine me trying to explain to my manager that I wanted to hear a rhyming cat sing a tune!

I'm sorry I asked. Susan, you have been tasked.

Thanks a lot for that irritating tune

So you made up the tune to her nutty ring? Miss Caitlin S, care to add something?

I can't believe you wrote this

I didn't, you did. Sandra Cox, make all viewers flip their lid.

I swear I've seen every size and variety:)

And now we're back to porn. Rosey, are you so forlorn?

Thanks for the new experience. -_- lol

I guess she likes porn. Fundy Blue, are you torn?

Now that was truly icky-scary!!!!!

Nope, guess not. Jacquelineand.... are you enjoying the plot?

the farty song, I fear

Guess she has too much gas. Mary Kirkland, care for a pass?

That cat is so cute that all else slipped my mind except cat cuteness.

Wasn't your thing rats? Theresa, what do you think of our stats?

I zone out, then someone asks me a question and I sit there with a blank stare.

Kind of like the one you have now? Wow, viewers are going to have a cow. There is no talent around here. I have to go elsewhere I fear. Robbie Raisin is through with you. Stay away from Whoopdi Friggin Doo.

***********************************
And you scared him away. At least until another day. My what dirty minds you all have at your sea. Anne even got two in with glee. Who knew Jacqueline had a thing for gas? Not my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Armed And Charmed!

So Pat was leaning against a wall, waiting for them to get done the dumb car recall. Yeah, stupid recalls are a pain. But better than crashing into a train. Anyway, was crossing his arms and that raised alarms.

Why are you so defensive?
It won't be expensive.
No need to cross your arms.
Sit with the rest on the recall farms.

No, I'll stand.
And I'll cross my arm or hand.
Just because I want to.
Now go somewhere and shoo.

See, I knew you were defensive.
Maybe a little apprehensive.
Why don't you go and sit.
I bet you will like it.

Sit on it.
You stupid twit.
Leave me be.
Go climb a tree.

That's no nice.
Recalls don't cost a price.
Don't be mad.
Not much time is had.

Twits are everywhere.
There are twits to spare.
I stand because I want to.
So go stick your head in a loo.

That can't be comfy though.
Come, sit and watch the talk show.
Maybe you can learn.
They'll call you when it is your turn.

Stick it up your ass.
Go choke on a bass.
Leave me be.
I'm not in the way, so flee.

You are rude.
No need for attitude.
I hate the defensive,
They are so apprehensive.

Finally took the hint.
Maybe she'll go pop a mint.
Bad breath and twit.
Bet she is a salesperson hit.

Yep, Pat was thought to be defensive at our sea because he was leaning against a wall, arms crossed, and waiting for them to finish their recall for free. Pffft, only got ticked with the twit wouldn't leave him alone. Ever get those who won't go away unless you change your tone? Or those who think crossed arms are bad? Damn, they come at my every which way at our pad. The twit can go choke on the gas that comes out of my not crossed little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.