Pat Hatt's Blog, page 136

You Should At Your Hood!

The cat has actually gotten a few "You Should" emails at his sea. I figured I could use them with a rhyming spree. So let's see what helpful people have to say. Some must have waaaaay too much time on their hands at their bay.

You should only blog one day a week.
Yep, got that advice at my creek.
Hmmm, lazy people anyone?
Maybe they don't like my 365 day run.

Make the poor sap look bad?
Poor, poor them at their pad.
All blog how they do.
So to that I give a big screw you.

You should do more in depth poetry.
Pffft and I'm a dog at my sea.
I'm about as much a poet as a frog.
Just a rhyming nut or a bump on a log.

You can take your pick.
But deep, yeah, and I'm a wood tick.
No blood sucker here.
So that idea can kiss my rear.

You should show yourself more.
What? You want a "vet balls" encore?
I'm here every day.
See that little pic on display?

I'm not an attention whore.
So no need at my shore.
Just have to settle for the cat.
So you can stuff that.

You shouldn't rhyme all the time.
Damn, now there is a crime.
What a load.
You a toad?

Maybe a cow?
You have one, wow!
That is my schtick though.
So shove your advice, you know.

Can you make a rhyme about me?
Asks someone who never came to my sea.
hahaha yeah, in a heartbeat.
But will I give you such a treat?

Okay, I guess I will.
I hope you get your fill.
Bite me you lazy SOB.
That's all you get out of me.

The last wasn't really advice, I know. But I had to give it a go. Get any advice at your sea? Maybe they just care about me? Yeah, nah, they are full of it. And by it, I mean shit. Their "advice" came in the run of a year, so it wasn't all at once for my rhyming rear. I may not have been able to handle it that way. It was such great things they had to say. Pfffft, I'd rather take advice from a singing bass. He is much more impressive to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Title Scheme By The Stream!

The titles are here for all to see. There are so many they may confuse thee. Hmmm, that is the point at each and every joint. A cash grab as they try and pick up the tab.

A book does well.
The author was swell.
Or just won out.
Either way, time to shout.

Shout, not in that way.
I'm sure the author likes their pay,
But now their title is grand.
It will get used across the land.

In come the sharks,
Looking to make their marks.
Time to rip off a ton.
Let's have some title fun.

Put a "the" in the title.
Now your book won't be idle.
Put a "A" in one.
Damn, you'll sell a ton.

Spell a word another way.
That will sure get you some pay.
Maybe even use the same one.
That just has to be done.

Then they will see,
How great you are with your spree.
You can rip off a title with ease.
I'm sure your writing will please.

Then they will buy more.
No need for a rip off encore.
You will be the next big thing.
Doesn't that have a nice ring?

All because you ripped off another,
Their words you didn't smother.
They got big and now it's your turn.
You deserve a great return.

Whoopsy, yours still pales.
Yep, you hit the third rails.
No jolts for you though.
You just ate crow.

Did it taste grand?
Was it fun in rip off land?
I bet you had the title first, right?
Damn that author for first taking flight.

Notice how the rip offs come when a book does good? Same for movies in ones hood. The titles get ripped off a ton, and usually, they are crappily done. Trying to trick the reader/viewer is all it is. Some make a good living off of such a biz. Like those direct to video guys. They trick many with their lies. Ever go rip off at your sea? Sure not the way to be. Better off going and eating some grass. It works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A New Year With More Fear!

 The year is new.Am I telling you?Are you telling me?Are we really free?
To in depth for you?Yeah, me too.Let's get going.With this iwsg showing.
The year is new.But that you knew.Knew and new.Ha, who knew.
I guess you.Is that true?Only you knew.In a minute or two.
Would that be know?A no and know show?No and new.Know and knew.
Aren't I confusing?I find it amusing.But that you knew.Hopefully at my zoo.
What is the point?Nose out of joint?That can be done.Not with my fun.
Unless screen meets head.Then that can cause dread.Who wants that?Sure not the cat.
But that you know.So don't be slow.Catch up to the cat.How about that?
You caught up.Quicker as a pup.Away any insecurities flew.But that's nothing new.
I knew a new year won't make them go away. Do you know without a no at your bay? New Year is not magic at all. You'll still have them as long as you let them be there at your hall. Toss them in the trash and then have your bash. Maybe add a little sass. Works for my secure little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Want A Funny Look Follow My Nook!

The cat can get plenty of funny looks at our sea. It is as easy as can be. I mean I could lie to get a few. But it is more fun when the truth comes due.

There is the look,
Like wtf at my nook.
Did he say that?
What a dingbat.

Head tilts to the side.
Their confusion they try and hide.
They mull it over a bit.
Then usually just dismiss it.

I'm a rhyming cat.
Comes up to bat.
That gets a good showing,
A wtf look will start glowing.

I'll blog about that.
Doesn't chew any fat.
A blog is so foreign to most.
Is that a journal at your coast?

I'm retired I've used.
That leaves me amused.
They sit and stare,
Thinking I'm some bum or millionaire.

I write a lot.
Like things without a plot?
I write that too.
Much accounting notes come due.

Nope, write books.
Bring on the looks.
But I never heard of you?
Aren't all authors rich at their zoo?

I don't like food.
This one gets looks and attitude.
How can you not eat that?
Don't you want to be like me...fat!

Pffft to any stupid shot
But oh no, you can't stop the flu plot.
Go get it now.
My finger makes their look have a cow.

Bring on the look.
Go all wtf at my nook.
It only amuses me.
Then I'll use it at my sea.

Have ways to get a funny look? Make any give you a wtf look at your nook? It is so easy to do for me. A rhyming cat I let fly free. Think I'm nuts as can be. Works for my sea. Then maybe I'll go roll in the grass with my bare little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Cheery As Can Be Are We?

The cat hears this thing about Christmas cheer. Pffft where is it for my rhyming rear? I must get the short end of the cheer stick. My end is just rather ick. Don't believe me? Look at this spree.


I know what's to come.So I hide my rhyming bum.Can you guess too?Cassie surely knew.

This was it.I hate this shit.Can't you see I'm not impressed?That doesn't even need to be confessed.

Then we get at the other sea,And a mutt starts to taunt me. Pffft like I'd fall for that.Not getting this cat.

Then we have another one.This one is more fun.I can chew on him. What is that he's eating on a whim?

Why it's a hairball. Isn't that yummy to all?Pffft a nasty mutt indeed.His tail though is tasty feed.

Hmm, what is this? Could give bliss.It can move about.I'll have to try it out.

Works for me.Whoops, time to flee. Pat is back to packing.I get no more attacking.

Ugg once more.Stuffed in for the encore.I'm still good and pissed.It still can't be missed.

Now I'm home.365 days or so until I roam.I have to get my energy back. So not cheery at my shack.

Of course she's as happy as can be.Posing there at our sea. Cassie is just a kiss ass.Although she did hiss at the mutts in mass.
Now do you see why the cat has no time for cheer? I get lugged around by my rhyming rear. Swatting ten cats, avoiding one big mutt and chewing on two more small mutts sure is a lot of work. I have no time to give a cheery smirk. Plus that cage fills me with rage. Cassie just sits there and hogs space in mass. But I hog back with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

An Adult Date For A Mate?

So the cat was told a while back that he should do an adult dating site where we are at. I knew my eyes would probably burn but I figured I'd give it a turn. I won't even repeat what is on some. They would make your mind go numb.

Join an Adult dating site today.
Wait? Isn't a dating site for adults anyway?
Damn, that may confuse.
Now go and peruse.

Are you back?
Did you have a heart attack?
They sure don't lack.
They are sure whack.

There the crazy you shall find,
But they'll grope your behind.
Or so they say anyway.
Take your chances come what may?

Nah, you'll get a disease.
That isn't the bees knees.
Even if you wrap it,
More than a bit.

You may get shot,
Yep, as there are a lot.
A lot as in "bored housewife"
Do you need that strife?

And then there are some,
Who don't look glum.
They want that bum,
And to crush you like a plumb.

Yep, you'd be screwed,
Whether or not they are crude.
One even had a whip.
Bet she'd bite off your lip.

Then there were the fakes,
That still give the shakes.
Obviously just a scam.
The equivalent of toe jam.

Good luck if you try,
Sure not for this guy.
The normal sites are dumb,
But these ones are scary and then some.

Now after seeing such nuts being flirty.
I feel a tad dirty.
I will go shower at my sea.
No bored housewives for me.

Damn, they are really scary there. Scary by the pair. But if that is your thing, go ahead and have a fling. Don't say the cat didn't warn you though. You could get dealt your final blow. I stuck to only each lass, they were scary enough for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Those Boots Are In Cahoots!

Cahoots is such a fun word that cat has to use it and be absurd. Maybe I'm in cahoots with cahoots today. Cahoots just doesn't get enough play. Cahoots wants to come a calling. Don't leave cahoots balling.

Come and be in cahoots,
Maybe with some newts.
Newts in cahoots.
That beats grassroots.

Cahoots is sure here.
Do cahoots you fear?
No need for that.
Cahoots with a cat.

Maybe a cat hoots?
Was it Puss n Boots?
Isn't hooting left for an owl?
Cats just hiss and growl.

Could be a bird going ca.
Then it hoots with a la la la.
Cahoots came of it.
So a bird and song were a hit.

The two were in cahoots.
Guess no room for newts.
Could that be the roots?
Those two in cahoots.

Cahoots to be in cahoots.
That would spawn some routes.
Maybe get some hoots,
By one in cowboy boots.

Cahoots for the cow and boy?
They are playing it coy.
Need to sell those boots.
Yep, they're in cahoots.

Businessmen and a tailor store,
They don't just bore.
They are in cahoots.
They make you buy suits.

Hmm, have any disputes?
Maybe they aren't in cahoots.
Or they need recruits,
To stay in cahoots.

Are you a cahoots recruit?
Don't sit and dispute.
Claim your cahoots roots.
Be proud of being in cahoots.

Isn't cahoots a fun word? Is my cahoots absurd? Are you in cahoots at your sea? Are you in cahoots with a tree? That would be a sight to see. Might even impress me. Have the tree fall on a head, poof, your enemy is dead. Cahoots can sure come in mass. But I won't be a cahoot-ing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

We Get Tragic With Stocks, Goals, And Magic!

The new year is here. 2016 is no longer near. So 2016 it is. 2016 has lots of biz. My, what a new year can do. So invigorating to each zoo. It goes up one whole number while most people slumber. Wow, that is so...wow. 6 should take a bow.

Time to do.
Release the glue.
It's no longer stuck to you.
Just do and do at your zoo.

Or maybe take stock.
That is a lock.
Sit back and stare,
Stare up in the air.

Yeah, that will help.
That won't make you yelp.
What a year it was.
I'll take stock just because.

Nope, no need for that.
Not where I'm at.
It's time for a goal.
Yep, that is a better stroll.

The stroll of the goal.
Could even impress a mole.
Let's set some goals.
That will fill some holes.

Or maybe we'll do all three.
Damn, that would be great to sea.
Live in the past,
It will be a blast.

But live in the future too.
My, how smart are you?
And don't forget the magic.
That is never tragic.

That just has to be done.
The year went up by a WHOLE one.
Doesn't that impress?
Come now, confess.

Wow, that was a lot of work.
Thinking and goal setting isn't a perk.
I have to go sit down.
It's like I ran across town.

The time to do is done.
I had my fun.
Time to reattach the glue.
Who needs anything new?

Pfffft once more says the cat. Just do it where you're at. A whole number change isn't going to help you out. You are the only one that can add such clout. But believe in magic if you must. In the Tooth Fairy you can also trust. The cat will now go pass more magic gas out my magical little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

All The Same Type Of Lame!

The cat is back with his end of year attack. Hmm, maybe I'll forgo it this year. I'll let all give their cheer. That might be nice of me? Think I can do that at my sea?

Here we are,
Many at a bar.
End of the year.
Ready to cheer.

Swear up and down,
All across the town,
That this will take form,
And bye bye to the norm.

Fast forward a week.
What they said was Greek.
Or maybe it was French.
Could have just been a monkey with a wrench.

The day is still the same.
Out goes their flame.
They still sit like a twit,
Not getting fit.

Still slave at a job,
With poor old Bob.
Still hate the job too,
Giving a familiar moo.

Still whine every day,
That there's no time to play.
Still blame the world,
Their life hasn't twirled.

But that is okay.
They have another magic day.
Jan 1, 2017 is it.
Then they'll change that shit.

And if that isn't a perk,
Jan 1, 2018 will work.
There is always a day,
For "magic" to play.

Until one faithful day,
You remember what you say,
But it is far too late,
Because you're at a pearly gate.

Whoopsy, you're dead.
Died in your bed.
The magic day was lost,
Because you let yourself get bossed.

A cheery way to end the year from my rhyming rear. Don't you want to go out and wish on that "magic" day for all your cares to go away? Pfffffft to any of that shit, every little bit. More magic in the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Here's The Brief On Belief!

I figure since my normal last year post is near, you know, the one where I tell people to stick their magic day in their rear, I'd give belief a go. Some just like to let it flow.

That can't be true.
I don't sniff glue.
I'm dead on.
It's not a con.

No way whatsoever.
I'm far too clever.
My belief is right.
It has the most bite.

Yours is wrong.
Dumb as Donkey Kong.
There is no other way.
Listen to what I say.

Believe in only me.
That way from sea to sea.
And if you don't agree,
Stay away from me.

I am all right.
Let your ideas take flight.
They are stupid anyway.
My belief shall not stray.

I know a kangaroo can hop.
I know the Yankees are a flop.
I know a cat has hair.
I know all at my lair.

I am in the know.
Your ideas are low.
They can't stop mine.
They must align.

If they don't,
Believe I won't.
Can't stop me.
I'm as right as can be.

I know you agree.
You just want to fight me.
I'm really the right one.
So stop this thing of fun.

Just settle and agree.
Come and sit with me.
I'll show you the way,
To a brighter day.

Pffft says the cat. Stuff your belief where you are at. Or stuff it further too. Like up what you use to sit on the loo. Belief is fine and dandy and it can come in handy, but it doesn't mean you're right. Yet idiot humans still try and sway people to their plight. Doesn't matter what it is with the belief biz. Believe what you want and no need to taunt. Otherwise you can believe you'll suck on the gas from my ever so believable little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.