Pat Hatt's Blog, page 135

A Whale Of A Tale Hits The Trail!

The cat is back once more with another kids book encore. It was actually one of the first ones I wrote, for those who were around years ago who take note. I changed it up a bit. And now, on with it.

A whale of a tale,
Hopefully won't fail,
As two get a ride.
They go out with the tide.

The beach wasn't a beach.
Their home no longer in reach.
Now they go on a trip,
After spotting a big lip.

A whale of a trip.
That deserves a flip.
They see a ton.
Could make some run.

A turtle and a flea.
They have such glee.
They are out and about.
They love being out.

At least for a while,
Swimming a good mile.
Or a mile or more.
But what of their shore?










Click Here For A Peer!
And there we are. Another book added to our sand bar. I think that makes 54 or so kids books at my show. Nearing 100 works overall. Getting closer at my hall. I'm sure it will come to pass from my ever so rhyming little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Fill Your Cup With The Next Up!

Humans sure are strange. That will never change. The cat never tires of saying it though. I enjoy making humans eat crow. Anyway, what have we today? Next up is going to be on display.

What have we here?
The greatest concert ever.
I would give a cheer.
But what's their next endeavor?

What have we now?
That movie was great.
It sure did wow.
But what's next on their plate?

What is that?
A really great show.
My, it has a huge Nielsen stat.
Now where will they go?

I need the next, now.
Even if I like.
I will have a cow,
If next doesn't strike.

Come and tell.
I want to know.
Don't cause me hell.
On with the show.

Yes, this was great.
I will admit that.
But waiting I hate.
Don't be a gnat.

Oh, and it is here.
It was great too.
But what's next to come near?
I want it in view.

And that one came.
I loved it as well.
Don't play a game,
What's next? Do tell.

I just have to know it all.
I have to know what's coming.
The writing must be on the wall.
I can't just go slumming.

Next is soon here.
Next after the next is soon.
Next after the next after the next will kick into gear.
Tell me now, you loon.

Humans sure can't appreciate anything at the time. They keep up with their next upon next crime. Then they tend to miss out. Or at least, can't enjoy much as next is all they shout. Next up I will still get crass. No need to thank my next spilling little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Lying About With This Shout!

Pat thinks he can get us to do this and that. Pffft says the cat. He wants us to lay and look. That isn't happening at our nook. Does it look like we are appeasing mutts? Pat is just nuts.


I'm staying still.That flash is no thrill.I won't open my eyes. No matter your cries.

I'll turn a bit.But that is it.All you shall get out of me.Go and bother Cassie.

Well she is looking at you.You just can see her in view.There is a little white. Should have used the flashy light.
 
Not looking up.I'm not a pup.I see a bug.I'll go get that thug.

Cassie snubbed you too.That is fun to do.At least you got one eye. That is worth a try.

Damn, I looked up.Consider that a hiccup. But you didn't get all of me.I still win at our sea.

 I'm doing both for you.What? Not a good view?Hey, tough for you.You need a clue.

Almost there.Sticking it through a square.That was wise.Do you expect a prize?

I guess not.Still stuck on the spot.Squares galore,As I hang on the door.

Fine, I'll look.Now leave me be at our nook.You still didn't get all of me.My toe is out for none to see.
I guess if I make Pat take 1000 pics at our mat, I can be a nice cat. I can still give him a dirty look though. My leg is ready to kick at our show. He gets too close and my rabbit feet will go wham. He can suck on my toe jam. I guess that would be crass. Yeah, I'm not a nice little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sponsor That From The Cat!

The cat got an email a while ago, why do I even read these at my show? It asked if I wanted to sponsor some crappy post thing. My, I must really be the rhyming king. I get to sponsor now. Maybe I should go back to just saying, meow?

We like you.
We really, really do.
So come on down.
To sponsor town.

Is this the Price is Right?
Do I win a free flight?
Maybe a big boat?
A car of note?

No way.
Just have your say.
And of course pay.
Then you'll be on display.

Where's the fun in that?
Nothing in it for the cat.
Go piss up a rope.
Don't forget to use soap.

But you'll get views.
You'll be in our news.
That is the best.
We beat the rest.

Wow, more views.
But I don't get a cruise?
That is just not neat.
So this email gets a delete.

But it is for us.
No need to cuss.
We just want to help you.
And make some money too.

Sure, help me out.
Go eat a trout.
Choke on it too.
Helped me out at my zoo.

How mean are you?
We no longer want you in view.
You are not a nice cat.
How about that?

Took you that long to learn?
Did you feel the burn?
If it's a burn down there,
May want to visit a Dr. lair.

The cat screwed with them for a bit. Hey, I need my fun somewhere as here I sit. But then just told them to pound sand. Has a nut ever wanted you to sponsor their land? Did you just ignore or screw with them like me? The later is as fun as can be. But in the end they can suck on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Repeatville For A Thrill!

Never fear it is still a post from my rhyming rear. This hasn't turned into Al Penwasser's place. No repeated post for the umm third time we will embrace. Not a remake either at our sea. Or a reboot, redo and whatever other word can be thought by thee. But you humans do like to repeat as you walk down the street.

Better get better at being better.
Damn, knit that on a sweater.
Or better yet, print it on a shirt.
That will make your better half flirt.

Guessing guesses that were guessed is okay, I guess.
That is one big guessing mess.
Did you guess my post yet?
I guess you can tell the pet.

You changed change right for a change.
Did you do it at Wal-Mart or the gun range?
Something different for a change?
Change sure can be strange.

Writing writers write writing writes.
That will keep you up nights.
Damn, it can make sense too.
What's a writing writer to do?

Fake fakers faked faking fake fakes.
Put that one on birthday cakes.
Be a great fake out,
For a birthday shout.

On the inside insiders hide inside insides.
Unless my insider isn't gross and lied.
Then I don't have the inside scoop,
And I was thrown for a loop.

Walkers walk while walking on walks.
And the cat just sits and gawks.
Wow, that is wisdom there.
Err umm maybe not at my lair.

Twirling twirlers twirl by twirling.
That is a lot of whirling.
Twirl three times around.
I bet what is lost is found.

Shopping shoppers shop while shopping at shops.
Sometimes they even do bunny hops.
At Easter maybe they do.
Don't go shopping around at another zoo.

Why did the why why the other why?
Why should I give that a try?
Why are you asking me?
Why not go jump in the sea?

Do you know more? There are tons from shore to shore. So why did the why why the other why? Was it all one big lie? Can you answer me? Why not at your sea? Why be like me and ignore? Why am I why-ing so much at my shore? I'll now go back to sassing sass with my sassy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Exploring Into The Boring!

The cat was asked the other day, "Don't you get bored at your bay?" Yeah, I made it rhyme. To not to would be a crime. Hmm, do I look bored to you? Just because you do doesn't mean I do too.

The cat is bored?
Yeah, say it is so.
It has to be explored,
Because whiners want to know.

It can't be.
You have something to do?
That is a mystery to me.
It can't be true.

How do you find the time?
Boring and that go hand in hand?
Hmm, already did a time rhyme.
So to that, pound sand.

And bored is easy,
Even for me.
I just have to get cheesy,
And listen to thee.

Whoops, harm your ego?
That is a shame.
Not really though.
You can be lame.

Look a cat video for me to view.
Nope, still not bored at my zoo.
Called procrastination coming due.
I hope the difference you knew.

So why not?
Like some super plot.
There is a lesson to be taught?
Yeah, don't piss in a kitchen pot.

There is your lesson from me.
Doesn't that sound great?
I know, with my advice spree,
No one can relate.

Now if at the 9-5,
I'd be bored a ton.
You only do that to survive,
As mostly, it isn't fun.

But boredom in life,
Pffft screw that.
No need for such strife,
For this rhyming cat.

Why do people care if you aren't bored? It's like you are offending the lord. Then they go all, "you must be." Like you are lying at your sea. Pffft they can go play with a singing bass and kiss my non-bored little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Cheer Of The Volunteer!

You hear it all the time, you should volunteer your time. Hmm, a cheat rhyme? Bah, not so much a crime. You should do it here and there. You should do it everywhere. It is as easy as can be. Volunteer with me.

Here comes another sap.
I'll reel this one in.
We have much on tap,
That they can take for a spin.

Come and join our cause.
Volunteer your time.
You're sure to get an applause,
And you won't make a dime.

But that is what volunteer means,
So join in with us.
You'll be more famous than those on screen,
Maybe even get to drive a bus.

Doesn't that just ignite you passion?
And here is the best thing,
We don't care about fashion,
Just cover up your ding a ling.

So what do you say?
Ready to join this great group?
It will be just like play.
You will be one of the troop.

Then comes the perk.
The thing you will love.
You'll do lots of work.
Like it was destined from above.

You'll put in hours,
You'll clean up the shit.
Not even able to hit the showers,
Because we demand it.

Your time is ours now.
You can even quit your job.
You can stay and bow.
Don't you want to help Bob?

Don't worry about a thing.
We'll take care of it all.
Until you lose all your cha-ching.
Then you'll get a call.

We found another sap,
So you can take a break.
But come back to our trap,
When more money you make.

Now not all are like this, some are hit or miss, but many want you to work to death. They want you to do so until you are out of breath. Then guilt trip you some more. Pffft to them at my shore. Ever get a bad one? Maybe I'm umm pessimistic with my run? Bah, it provided sass. So it works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

It Works With Tons of Perks!

Don't you love the fly by night crap? They always try and suck in a sap. It works they always claim. When it ends up being very, very lame. But I'm sure that you know. Still giving it a go though.

100% effective it is.
Listen to our biz.
We tested it out on 99% of all.
Shhh, all that was stationed in an abandoned hall.

You won't regret this.
It brings such bliss.
It will heal your back.
Shhh, may give you a heart attack.

We've got just the thing for you.
It was tested thoroughly at our zoo.
You may just buy two.
Shhh, we really tested it at a zoo.

Will make your life great.
Nothing else can relate.
Buy it now and have it forever.
Shhh, forever is a short endeavor.

As seen on TV.
That means it is great for thee.
If you see it in view it can't be wrong.
Shhh, just nod with the model and play along.

Guaranteed to work or your money back.
It is so good it will never lack.
We know you want it.
Shhh, there is fine print about that first bit.

The next big thing.
Grab your phone and ring.
You'll want it right now.
Shhh, it's not yet a cash cow.

You can't live without one.
It helps life a ton.
Get yours today.
Shhh, we may exaggerate what we say.

Get yours while supplies last.
They are going really fast.
Soon they will be all gone.
Shhh, our full warehouse doesn't know about our con.

Won't ever let you down.
It holds the crown.
You just can't get another.
Shhh, we're out to fool you and your mother.

Love these claims at your sea? Are they believed by thee? See these things in ads everywhere. They think they can just say something rare. Next up people shall buy. Pfffft, most of the time just one big lie. All a pile of crap. Tested on nothing but some poor chimp or chap. Oh, but it is 100% true for every landmass. Pffft again says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Offend Or Defend With Room To Amend!

No matter what you say you can stir the pot at your bay. But it seems some can say more than others. They can shout it until it smothers. Then others can say a thing or your a whatever at your wing.

Let's make fun.
Come on everyone.
It's as easy as can be.
But you can only do it to me.

You can't do it to her.
She sure won't purr.
And just watch him.
Even if he's dim.

You can't do it to them.
They may spit phlegm.
Whoops, their black.
Watch your back.

Oh, a religious nut,
They are fine at your hut.
Making fun of them is A okay.
Go ahead and have your say.

Whoops, watch those guys.
They are far too wise.
Don't diss the female.
She may come and wail.

And watch out for men.
They may show up at your den.
Those people could be on you.
That just wouldn't do.

Celebrities are okay.
Say what you want to say.
But normal people, nope.
Watch out for the Pope.

That country you can go ahead,
Nope, that one will cause you dread.
May even hack off your head.
So watch what is said.

And watch the defend.
Now that too can offend.
Defend someone like that.
And you may get pelted with scat.

And above all,
Read the writing on the wall.
You have to stay PC.
That is just the way to be.

Rather pathetic how some are okay and others you are supposed to watch what you say. As long as poking fun not in mean way, whoopdi friggin doo I say. Can make meme's on religious nuts up the ying yang, but do it on this or that or that or this and dang. Now you are just soo mean there at your scene. I'll stick to being an equal opportunity insulter with my sass. It seems to work for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Best Ever With My Vacation Endeavor!

The cat just had the best vacation ever. Did you even know I had pulled the lever? Did you think I was here the whole time? Damn, I fooled you with my daily rhyme.

The cat was bored,
And done with the hoard.
Hoard as in the cats at the other sea,
They are such a pain in the butt of me.

So I struck out.
I packed some trout.
I got things ready.
I began to trot steady.

Cassie came too,
After using the loo.
You never know how far it will be,
Until we find another litterbox in which to pee.

We left Pat snoring.
He is really boring.
Maybe he was just dreaming.
Who cares with his TV streaming.

There we were,
No ruffled fur,
Each trotting away.
It was a great day.

There was no snow.
The sun did show.
I even saw grass.
The sure impressed Cass.

We jumped a bit,
But missed it.
So we tried again,
Like we do at our den.

We made it with ease.
That was a breeze.
Cass had to try a time or three,
A little heavy is she.

Must be all the grass.
Hey, at least she doesn't have gas.
That is just me.
And now we were free.

We stretched out in the sun,
Just watching everyone.
The balcony was grand.
All need one in their land.

What? You thought we went far at our hut? Do I look rich? Pat just had a glitch. He threw a bug out the balcony door and both Cass and I decided to explore. Yeah, we darted out to see what was what. Pat grabbed us each by the butt. He said we might jump over the rail. Like I'd do such a fail. We were almost free. Actually he was watching us at our sea. We'll pretend he didn't let us stroll though. It was really my idea you know. Such a vacation for me and Cass. The ten seconds out there impressed my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.