Pat Hatt's Blog, page 134

A Sci Fi Lack At Every Shack!

After the ninja wannabe brought it up a while ago the cat got thinking at his show. Sci Fi shows really suck these days. They are trapped in some endless, brooding, world ending maze.

Can't have fun.
That can't be done.
Nope, not a lick.
To dark and dreary we stick.

Battlestar Galactica got great reviews.
Copy that and you can't lose.
Just look at Stargate Universe,
That was a hit and not a curse.

Pffft to that.
Worse than my scat.
A rip off indeed.
But more shall take seed.

Doom and gloom.
Things went boom.
Now stuck with nothing at all.
Heed the alien call.

Forget adding much.
Just reach out and touch.
Touch the nearest hit.
Then rip off it.

Not in a good way.
Let the rip offs play.
Becoming worse with each one.
Sucking away any and all fun.

Everything is essentially a rip off.
Yes, I know, no need to scoff.
But blatant cookie cutter crap,
Is all that is across the sci fi map.

Nothing pushes the limits much any more.
Maybe we've run out of ideas at our shore?
Some science fiction is no longer fiction,
So could be we lost the fiction depiction.

More likely lazy as can be.
Copy the nearest concept at your sea.
That is how it goes.
Same old crap blows.

So do away with difference and fun.
Go all dark and gloomy with your run.
Then milk it for all it's worth,
As you spread it across the Earth.

I know many genre of show is sinking more and more low, but sci fi shows seem to be all gone. At least any good ones that aren't a con. Any you like that are on? Watch such a sci fi con? Enjoy the all dark and dreary crap? Ugg to that cliched crap. The cat is done with his sass and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

All You Can Eat Just Down The Street!

The cat doesn't mind snacking on this and that. I'll even eat rubber where we are at. I then spit that back up though. But hey, probably still more safe than the places you humans go.

All you can eat,
Sure sounds like a treat.
The "all" is correct.
You'll suffer no neglect.

It's an open buffet today.
Come join the fray.
Again, "open" is key.
Are you following me?

Go to the bar.
Free nuts aren't far.
"Free" is the word.
None flip you the bird.

All, open and free.
What do they mean you ask me?
They mean what they mean.
Have you turned green?

No? I'll help you.
Now you've got a clue.
At least I hope so.
As you may glow.

All for you.
Germs up the wazoo.
Spit, fingers, breath, boogers, unwashed hands and more,
Have touched it all at your shore.

Open is the name of the game.
For open is a fine claim.
The food is open to germs galore.
Need I really say more?

Free is sure wise.
Free tells no lies.
Those nuts come with free bacteria and such.
So reach in and touch.

Enjoy yourself each day.
Grab a bite to eat at some nearby bay.
All, open and free,
Are right there waiting for thee.

Are you ready for a snack?
None of them sure lack.
That buffet is now so enticing.
I hope they have cheap pricing.

Ready to go out to eat now? No need to have a cow. You can go eat one there though. Damn, I'm good at my show. Okay, I'm done tooting my own horn. Go let all, open and free be born. I will go back to my rubber singing bass, chewing away with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Pull A Card For Easy Or Hard!

Humans sure can confuse more than a bit. I guess they prove they are full off umm spit. Some more than others as they spit when they talk. Those are ones you wish would speak using chalk. Or a pen. Hey, didn't rhyme at my den.

That looks so hard.
Nah, it's easy as can be.
Nothing will end up chard,
Just follow along with me.

That looks so easy.
Nah, it is really hard to do.
No need to get sleazy,
Because you don't have a clue.

My, that was hard.
You were sure right.
I'll go mow the yard,
As long as no snow is in sight.

My, that was easy.
You are on the ball.
It was just breezy.
Feel free to stand tall.

My, that wasn't hard.
You are just dumb.
Is your brain scarred?
Can't you walk and chew gum?

My, that wasn't easy.
You lied to me.
I got all queasy.
Now leave me be.

Easy or hard?
What will it be?
Pull a card,
And set it free.

Can't you see?
It was so easy.
Hard to climb a tree?
Now you're just cheesy.

Hard or easy?
What will it be?
Are you all sneezy?
That can't cause glee.

All some kind of draw?
Maybe it's not.
Could be some law,
To the easy or hard plot.

I guess Pat uses that is easy or hard too. All humans do. Yet some things that are hard aren't hard at all. They just take humans forgoing their lazy call. Some things easy may not be as well. It may not be all that easy to get into Hell. Depends on what one can do. Do you use easy and hard a lot at your zoo? The cat always uses three words with his sass, that is just the way of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Wordy Today At My Bay!

Ever see some fun words at your sea that make you think the user is as crazy as can be? There are quite a few around it would seem. Nope, none of these are a bad, weird or a strange dream.

Would you like a taradiddle?
Is that like a cat with a fiddle?
Bumfuzzle is where it's at.
So a fuzzy butt sporting rat?

Cattywampus has you covered.
A crying cat that hovered?
Gardyloo is ready and waiting.
A guarded loo all would be hating.

Billingsgate is rather cheap.
Microsoft off sheering sheep?
Snickersnee is all yours.
Sounds like snicker eating chores.

Widdershins are second to none.
I bet kicking people there is fun.
Collywobbles are just the best.
Bobble heads that pass the test.

Gubbins are ready to serve.
See one, be sure and swerve.
Diphthong sounds rather umm sin like.
It'd be no good on a hike.

Blatherskite is an easy one.
Talking while flying a kite for fun?
Loblolly is a slow poke?
Or maybe on a lolly pop you choke?

Fartlek means cover your nose.
That type of gas must cause woes.
Codswallop really has to hurt.
You get whacked with a cod when you flirt.

Cockamamie sounds rather bad as well.
Putting that on display may be a tough sell.
Lagopodus sounds like a lego display.
Or maybe a bad disease that is hard to say.

Pandiculation means save the trees,
By giving the poor pandas fleas on their knees.
Pettifrogger is one getting ready,
He wants a kiss to come on steady.

And don't forget to be cool,
Get yourself a great new snool.
It may end up rather gory,
And I mean really vomitory.

Seen any fun ones that give you the runs? Yep, all the words are supposedly real. But the cat's meaning of them may be off as he spun the wheel. Hey, weather people guess every time. So a cat guessing isn't a crime. I may have even got one right. Or this has just been a cockamamie rhyme taking flight. See, I know one that came to pass. So excuse my fartlek little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

It's All Routine At My Scene!

The cat likes his routine each day. Sleep, play, eat and use the litter box at our bay. It's as easy as can be. Getting it messed up does not impress me. But you humans also don't seem to like it at your sea. At least to many it doesn't give glee.

Routine is down.
Can't be a clown.
That won't work.
So not a perk.

Time to write.
Morning or night.
Then comes a call.
It screws up it all.

Time to cook.
Hook or by crook.
Is that saying right?
Bah, something takes flight.

Something breaks.
You get the shakes,
Meaning a nasty cold.
Maybe you find gold.

It screws things up.
Could be a pup.
It comes to your door,
Enters, and decides to explore.

So many things it can be.
Could get eaten by the sea.
Now that would be a bad day.
A tidal wave on display.

But the routine is shot.
We hate it a lot.
Pat can adapt a bit.
But still can hate it.

Being ahead keeps us at ease,
Still, it doesn't please.
The cat likes to leave his scat,
When I want to at our mat.

That rarely gets screwed.
But still needs attitude.
Oh the ruining of my routine.
Plus, some are just so unclean.

Good to get out of the box?
Good to get great locks?
A routine can easily be busted.
But can save you from getting rusted.

Like your routine at your sea? Do you have one like me? Do you care if it is stopped? Maybe not if a feely is umm copped. Now I am back to my routine. That is so serene. It is even agreed on by Cass. So I have to be a right little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Make A Wish For A Dish!

The cat was lounging about while he heard a kid shout. They will get wishes and have tons of dancing dishes. I rhymed the last part. You know I had to at my cart.

Bring on the wish,
With a splash and a splish.
Worked for Aladdin, right?
So why not let it take sight.

A genie shall arise,
He or she may where a disguise.
Could be good or bad.
A fun time may be had.

Might get mad though.
That Jinn were not given a go.
Mixing up the names,
May get you burnt in flames.

Have to word your wish well,
Or could raise hell.
That could be bad.
Way more than a tad.

But first you have to rub,
Go all rub a dub dub.
Nope, not in the tub.
Unless you want to join the genie love club.

Could be a thing.
A genie fling.
Magically for you.
Maybe the genie too.

Anyway, mind from the gutter.
Rub that lamp and don't stutter.
Poof, they will pop out.
Obeying your every shout.

Wouldn't that be grand?
A genie in one hand.
Who can resist believing that?
Then I'd be a rich cat.

So go dig a hole.
Have to get the three wish goal.
Dig and dig and dig.
Stop to dance a jig.

Then a genie will show.
Three wishes will flow.
Oh, and the man in the moon will point the way.
Trust me, I never lie at my bay.

There was my genie rant. Maybe I should chant? Then a genie or jinn or whatever could appear. Think they could hear? Pfffft as dumb as wishing on a star. Not gonna help any at your sand bar. Have to do. Of course it's fine for kids to believe and not have a clue. But adults believe such things as well. Maybe they scooped out some brains and proceeded to sell? Or they listened to a singing bass. It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Some May Brain Numb With 2016 Movies To Come!

Once more the cat will show you some that are in store. Who knows if they will get pushed back though, just so you know. But here are some of the movies of 2016 that will come to a big screen.

Captain America Civil War.
Avengers 2.5 as out every hero will pour.
The Suicide Squad.
Another Will Smith movie you won't applaud.

Deadpool will come due.
With an R rating he'll give a bleep you.
Finding Dory is at play.
Cashing in once again at their Pixar bay.

It's Kung Fu Panda 3.
Jack Black needs to make a fee.
Batman Vs Superman.
Plus a whole other clan.

X-Men Apocalypse is coming,
Wolverine and Beast will be chumming.
And it's Tarzan the big ape.
Hey, at least he doesn't wear a cape.

Fantastic Beasts comes for a spin.
Whoops, I mean a Harry Potter cash in.
Moana is going to hit the trail.
Will The Rock singing be a big fail?

London Has Fallen, Oh No!
Bad guys attack wherever the US President will go.
Alice Through the Looking Glass.
Another cash in that may fall on its ass.

Then you have Doctor Strange.
Will Sherlock have range?
Dirty Grandpa is coming too.
Hmm, do I want to know at my zoo?

It's Ride Along 2.
Another cash in, who knew?
Ghostbusters 3.
That one can kiss my ass at my sea.

Those things with different color hair, Trolls!
Is rainbow making their goals?
You got Assassins Creed.
Another video game to movie to make your eyes bleed.

Journey 3: From the Earth to the Moon.
Hopefully the series dies in a moon dune.
And then you have Warcraft.
Think it was born on a raft?

There are just a few that will be out there to view. Any you want to see? A few will sure be seen by me. Not the stupid Ghostbusters remake though. They can stick that up their you know. If only creators made sure no remakes or redos could ever come due like the Back to the Future crew. Then we wouldn't have such crap spread across the map. Bet some will sure haul money in in mass. That is a given to anyone and my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Stuck And Blind To Beat The Grind?

The other day the cat was arguing away. The cat likes to do that. But you know that where you are at. The cat sure did balk as one went into the territory of the stock.

You should buy and sell.
I bet you'd do swell.
Come and buy some stock.
It is a big lock.

Pffft says me.
No way at my sea.
I'd rather bet on a horse race,
Then some stock embrace.

But that is gambling.
Blah, blah, blah rambling.
Gambling isn't the way.
Stocks are better at the end of the day.

Right, no gambling in sight.
Stocks won't bite.
Your money is tight.
Won't lose it in a fright.

That is right.
Come and join the fight.
I bet you make a killing.
The stock market is so thrilling.

Pffft go away.
Take your stocks and play.
You could get a mansion on a hill,
Or end up, broke, on the street and ill.

That will never happen to me.
I will invest with glee.
You really should too.
Time to get rich at your zoo.

Cheaper to buy a lottery ticket.
Maybe even go bet on cricket.
But that would bore.
So bother me no more.

It is not a gamble.
Listen to my ramble.
All is A okay.
You'll make some pay.

Can make it on roulette too.
Now go bug another zoo.
Bite me is all I have left to say.
Don't have a nice day.

The investing nut sure sounded like he was in a rut. Not gambling at all? Believe that at your hall? Unless you have inside scoop, but I hear that is illegal for any troop, it is still a gamble any old day. Maybe not as bad as lottery odds on display. I just say screw it all. Not gonna be joining any last call. Enjoy the stock market at your sea? Think it's a good money tree? I'll stick to my sass and not be a super duper broke little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Round Forty Two With More In View!

The search engines crazies are here. They sure like to come and peer. I bet they never find what they want. That is probably a good thing at my haunt.

pervert santa sex

Want to be jolly with a twinkle? May find many a wrinkle.

pat hatt drummer

Not very well. Sorry, no drumming where I dwell.

rats having sex

Eww to that. Them and their scat.

boats and goats 2015

Back to boat and goats? Need some oats?

Betsy on a train

Wrong place. Over at her zoo do trains they embrace.

toga in my ass

That has to be rough. Maybe get some pliers for that toga stuff.

grey grass sunny

Too sunny? No rain is runny? 

Your mine there kitty

Not on your life. Go get a wife.

going going going

Hmm, an auction at your sea? Or are you having a good long pee?


going through hell today

Don't burn. I hope you return.

hop a trash can

Why hop one? Two is more fun.

you have got to be kidding me

Nope, two is more fun. Three should even be done.

pervert snowman sex

Pervert seeks a pervert today. Might get cold down there, okay?

a mountain in a mole hill

Got that wrong. But I will nod and play along.

And for the final one, we continue with the fun. The fun that may scare you all away. Or make you go throw up in the bathroom anyway. Prepare yourself for this feat. It is a umm treat.

Sexy Squid Balls R Us
Maybe they thought R was their fan? Nasty, no matter their plan. I don't want squid balls or a toga up my ass. These people just have no class. But they give me lots to sass as they keep finding my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Nice Buy Try, Then Goodbye!

Everyone has seen it at one time or another. Hell, maybe one is even your brother. There are people that are as nice as can be, as long as they think they are going to get something from thee.

Oh, you need a new car?
Come and leave your door ajar.
I'll hook you up.
Make you a happy pup.

Oh, you don't need a new car?
Go play in tar.
I have other things to do.
But talk to me when you need something new.

You need a new internet/phone/whatever provider?
Come and sit on my divider.
It may be a little hard on the ass.
But we'll hook you up in mass.

You don't need a new whatever provider?
Go and be a horse rider.
As in ride far far away.
Come again another day.

You need a new house?
One without a mouse.
Come to me today.
I'll hook you up and get my pay.

You don't need a new house?
Go eat a mouse.
That is all I have to say.
Don't have a nice day.

You want to sell your home?
Come here and roam.
I am your man.
I'm your greatest fan.

You don't want to sell your home?
Pffft, go chew on Styrofoam.
I hope you choke too.
But be sure and chew.

You need a new this or that.
How about a new cat?
Come and buy from me.
I'll be oh so friendly to thee.

You don't need anything at all?
Pffft go bounce on a ball.
Leave me alone at my sea.
I don't have time for thee.

There are hundreds of examples out there. I could go on all day at my lair. Know any such people at your sea? A few are known by me. I just avoid or flip them the bird. Actually I'll probably just say the word. Then drop them a little gas. Works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.