Pat Hatt's Blog, page 141

Be Aware Of The Stare!

You don't have to say a word to get what you want. You don't even have to taunt. You just have to have the right stare. That will get you everything at your lair. Don't believe me? Wait and see.


Don't look the other way.Don't look at what you want. But make eye contact at your bay.And don't sit and taunt.

But don't get to near.Or stick your nose up.But nose beats rear.Unless trying to impress a pup.

Act kind of cute.But don't lose your attention.That sun is a brute,It can leave your eyes in detention.

And watch that itch.Don't spread the fleas.That can make humans twitch.Maybe even sneeze.

Don't look back.Keep eye contact. That may get flack,For such an act.

You can stand and stare.But don't show the ear.Need eyes by the pair.That's what I hear.

This is about right.But it has a little tilt.It'll do day or night.The stare is well built.

Act anxious too.That can work.They can't ignore you,And you'll get your perk.

Here comes the grass. Yippee for us.At least for Cass,She makes the biggest fuss.

I could care less.But I'll continue to stare. I do like to turn it into a mess.And now you are aware.
Got the stare down at your sea? Can you get what you want with a stare spree? Do you stare like the cat? I hope you don't look like a dingbat. Do you enjoy grass as much as Cass? I'm just a messy grass eating little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Round Forty Gets Sporty!

40 rounds have come due. That is sure a lot at my zoo. We'll see if the search engine nuts keep it up. May make it to 100 with their hiccup. They do seem to have slowed down though. Maybe people no longer sink low? Yeah right. On with it at my site.

"it's close in here" euphemism farts

A tight fit? Don't follow through on that shit. Get it? I'm a hit.

fluck not a bad word

Fluckity fluck fluck. Nope, not bad says a duck.

kinky maids

Are they kinky because of what they do with a slinky?

tops off

I guess not. No tops off here are caught.

going, going, gone

Baseball now? Sorry, don't think that cat will be playing that somehow.

Special kitty nip

Can I have some? Sure it won't make me glum.

Average  size okay?

Don't ask me. Snip snipped at my sea.

Gone are the days I played

Played with what? You average size at your hut?

Have you any of that

I have some of that and some of this. Does that leave you in that and this bliss?

kome catch me woman

No thanks. Keep your umm spanks.

burnt and burned

A pot head. Oh the dread.

home is where the pussy is

hmmm was it a cat you sought? Somehow I think you had another thought.

snap itno a slim jim

I think you snapped and backwards you were trapped.

fruit and veggies plate

Gloria has that. Find her blog mat.

And the winner of the big 4 0 has something to say that all should know. You'll never forget this. I hope you seek help if it brings you bliss.

Taxidermy deer heads suck dick
And on that note. That is all she wrote. Don't go sticking anything in there and if you do, don't tell my lair. Ever had such a taxidermy thought? Damn, glutton for punishment at my spot. I'll go talk to the singing bass and stick up my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Tragic Of The Magic!

The cat has made fun of magic shows and we know how luck goes. The cat thinks the later is fake. Made up like a sunny snowflake. But then there is some who sound kinda dumb. It was magic. Oh so tragic.

Why did it work?
How did you get that perk?
It was as easy as can be.
It was magic you see.

Magic is behind it all.
See the writing on the wall?
Nope, because there was none.
It was magic having fun.

You made it.
You were quite a hit.
Effort in every bit.
Wait, magic did it.

No effort from you.
That can't do.
It was all magic at play.
Magic in every way.

Just like that coin.
You and your ear I can join.
Or maybe yank it away.
It is like magic every day.

Magic is back.
I stopped your heart attack.
Pffft no pill did that.
Any Dr. went scat.

Magic saves the day.
So let the magic play.
I put a spell on you.
Yeah, I went there at my zoo.

You're in need?
Just come and read.
No problem at all.
Wait, no writing on the wall.

So no need to read.
Let magic take seed.
How did you do it?
Magic, every little bit.

So don't try at all.
You will never fall.
Magic is at play.
Magic saves the day.

Do you say magic did it? Enjoy my magic fit? Maybe you can pull a coin from the ear. That is such great magic far and near. What, you don't believe me? Magic caused you to roll your eyes at your sea. Now I will go pass some gas out my magical little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Three More To Add To The Lore!

The cat figured why not. Hey, may as well add to the book plot. Let the pile get high. I need to have stuff for every girl and guy. From kids books galore to novels at my shore. We've got Imagine Hatt episodes too and some adult books like the below in view.



 Profanity Granny is back.This time on a crime fighting attack.She stops purse snatchers and politicians too.Even an animal abuser at her zoo.
Stopping crime every day.That's the Profanity Granny way.She may beat your rear.Click Here for a peer.





Happy Humper is alive.He has to hump to survive.I know, a dog, right?A dog at my site.
He humps with glee. Not gonna let him hump me.Equal opportunity humper as well.Click Here to see his humping where you dwell.





And Ready Eddie is the third.This cat is really absurd.He will piss on anything. He lets it fly and fling.
Sadly this is based off of a real cat.His piss always went splat.He let it fly at the other sea.Click Here to see on what did he pee.
And so now three more books have come about. That makes four this month I put out. Not bad at all. I should be nearing 100 works overall at my hall. Any of the three appeal to thee? Yeah, I know I'm crazy as can be. The third one is all true. I may have embellished with the other two. Now I'm done with this book mass and I'll go use the litter with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

In A Rut With 15 What?

Hmm the cat is trying to figure out your math. I guess it all follows the same path. Humans take their shoes off one foot and count. That sure gets the 15 amount. 15 what you ask. Let's follow the task.

Do something dumb.
Do something smart.
Maybe just show your bum,
To the people of Wal-Mart.

Do something silly,
Do something wise.
If you flash your willy,
You'll hear jailhouse rock cries.

Isn't wise and smart the same?
That depends with some.
But either way they seek fame.
Most by doing things dumb.

Fame is the name of the game.
That lights their flame.
Idiots everywhere should know your name.
Hey, at least they know who to blame.

But can't know long.
15 minutes is all you're allowed.
Can't come on too strong,
Or you may draw a crowd.

If you break the 15 minute rule,
You will just be so bad.
15 minutes is enough for a fool.
Enough for people to see they are sad.

Sad as in pathetic as can be,
Trying to get attention and such.
Whoopdi friggin doo says me,
To those that try too much.

15 is all you are given.
So you better not waste it.
Time to get really livin.
Do some stupid shit.

The other possible millions of minutes in life,
They don't matter at all.
Those 15 minutes is needed to show the wife,
You are the star of having a great fall.

What goes up must come down,
Or at least that's what they say.
Just like the 15 minute thing in every town,
And all strive for it night and day.

Got your 15 minutes yet? Pffft says the pet. Fame is nonsense anyway. But then it can get you pay. The sheep shall follow for a while. At least for your 15 minute mile. Then you are screwed and left in the grass. So sad, not really, says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Really Really Kinda Dealy!

A bit of a cheat rhyme but I do that from time to time. Hey, some of you do too. Don't go curling your nose up at my zoo. I don't want to see that nose hair. I've got enough hair at my lair.

But you really want to?
Fine, stick your nose in view.
Let the sucker fly.
You may get the evil eye.

What was that?
You cursed the cat?
Pffft curse away.
I do it at my bay.

What is this?
Sure not bliss.
I'm snip snip.
Pat could throw out a hip.

But what is this?
Did the point you miss?
Maybe the point is there is none.
But that has been done.

You really want to know?
Really, really give it a go?
Really, really high and low?
Okay, really, really start to crow.

I really want it.
I need every bit.
6 months later I want it.
I need it every bit.

Wait a second there.
I lived without with time to spare.
6 months at my sea.
But it is really, really needed by me.

It is still a real need.
I really need it at my feed.
Another year flew by.
I still really need it to fly.

A year and a half.
Did someone say calf?
How about moo?
I still really want it to come due.

Really, really need it.
Really, really need every bit.
Now I'm really, really dead.
I guess I really don't need what I said.

Did you really, really read it all? Do you really, really need something at your hall? Is the need really a want? Did you really get my taunt? I am really asking too many questions today. I should really go away. Maybe I'll really pass some gas out my really tiny little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Jefigoop Comes To Have A Poop!

What the heck is a Jefigoop? Did the cat throw you for a loop? Never fear because all will become clear. Much like Bohlingaringding that cat made it up. This one also includes a pup. You'd think I'd stop using butt sniffers in these. But I guess you do need some animals to feed fleas. Now on with the show as another book can be seen below.

The Jefigoop that had a poop.
That is quite the troop.
Ever meet a Jefigoop?
They can sure droop.

Why did it poop?
Ask the Jefigoop.
Don't ask me.
I know nothing at my sea.

But it had to poop,
To throw something for a loop.
Could that something be a mutt?
Have to find out for yourself at your hut.

The cat won't tell.
Whoops, what the hell.
That cat maybe just did.
Don't flip your lid.

There is a Jefigoop in your shoe.
That might be fun from Grumpy Goo.
Did you see it in there?
Go and look at your lair.







Click Here For A Peer!
That makes a whole 52 kids books that are done. I guess they are still fun. So I will keep giving them a run. At least for now under my sun. 100 would be a ton. I may get there with my book mass as I keep rhyming away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Big And Grand Want A Hand!

So the other day the cat was out and about at his bay. A nut I had not seen in a while gave me a smile. He thought he was so grand. You know, the bragging without bragging type across the land.

Look at me.
Come and see.
Look at my cash.
Who needs small trash.

I'm so great.
None can relate.
My ego will rise.
I'm just that wise.

I've won the prize.
I hope no one dies.
Whoops, I bought it.
Same type of shit.

Bought my own reward.
Hey, I pulled the cord.
I'm just that good.
Admire me you should.

Look my way.
Look at my new display.
Look at it and be impressed.
Your life is so messed.

Mine is so grand.
I can't even carry it in each hand.
I need a trolley to get it out.
Don't I have such clout?

That is right.
You love the site.
Stare at my big TV.
It is such a sight to see.

It makes me so great.
Everyone will want to be my mate.
All because I have a giant TV.
You can see it from a far away tree.

So admire and hang your head.
This is bigger than your bed.
You have to be jealous of me.
That is how it's supposed to be.

I'm not overcompensating.
My ego is not inflating.
I'm just that good.
Bow down to me you should.

Pffft whoopdi friggin doo. I didn't give him the time of day once he entered my view. Wow, you have a big TV. You are still a douchebag to me. And there was my little rant of the day. Big TVs are fine at my bay, but that doesn't make one anymore likeable to me. I'll still give them a flea on the knee. Or maybe just some gas out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Hope On A Rope!

The cat sees it all the time, all the wishing and hoping with every chime. Does a wish work? Is hope a perk? It sure beats the cat but we will see where hope is at.

I hope you read.
I hope you care.
I hope your cat you feed,
Even if it has no hair.

They do look funny,
I hope you stick with me.
I hope I'm on the money.
I hope I can finish this spree.

Yeah, no hoping for that.
Easy as can be for the cat.
I hope you do not go splat.
Hoping for tit for tat?

That would be good.
No splat needed here.
Hope you understood.
Hope there is no fear.

I hope you do not mind,
That I took the I away.
Hope is just as kind.
I is not needed at my bay.

Hope can go far?
Hope can get things done?
Hope you are not at a bar,
Hope you like a growing bun.

Or would that be two?
Hope I have not lost you.
That would be nothing new.
I do that at my zoo.

Hope for a dope?
Hope on a rope?
Like that kind of soap?
Hope you do not mope.

A hoping stops moping.
Hope makes you happy.
A hoping prevents noping.
Unless you are flappy.

My hope is through.
My hope is done.
Hope all is good with you.
Hope you had fun.

Ever notice all the hope at your sea? Hope, but nothing is done by thee or around thee. You can hope and wish but still be flopping like a fish. I suppose you need to hope and do and not just sit on the loo. Now I am through my hope pass with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Rhyme Time Puppet Show Sinks Really, Really Low!

Welcome the the cat's first puppet show ever, unless you count mini me or that hand up the ass endeavor. This one is done by me. You never know who may get Puppet-ed at my sea. Just another thing to come due. My, what will I think up next at my zoo?


My paws are bare.But what do you care?They do have things to say.From others anyway.

 But how do I adult?Maybe go join a cult.But what about bear caves?Good place to throw raves.

 What's the Idiot's Guide to Colorado?Don't know, but making that would take bravado.Yeah, that didn't really rhyme, did it?Nah, but we're too drunk to care about that shit.



How to write a best seller like a writerly writer? Why are you asking me? I just pulled an all nighter.I do know writerly isn't a word though.Is there another career you want to give a go?


Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Mr. Tuck WatleyI'm waiting and don't see squatley.We're getting good at this made up rhyme stuff.Add making up words and this author thing is tough.
Reimagine the Possibilities!  Like with a cat paw up our ass we'll never need the facilities.But those claws can get rather raw.They ought to make a claw free law.


My New Neighbors Hate Me Because I ExistIf they see you like this they may get pissed.Yeah, they missed out on any organs from me.That and they never got to play kickball with thee.



The Startup Company: Where Dreams Become Poverty Do we really have to go through that noverty?That wasn't even a good attempt to hide that we can't rhyme.Maybe we'll sound poverty stricken and be paid like a street mime? 


Please Stop Telling Me About That Weird Dream You HadI hear listening to them can drive you a little mad.Like your head being tossed on badly drawn skirts?Or having cat paws stuck up your ass while the fleabag flirts.

Satan Claus Is Coming To TownHe threw us away and we're stuck in this gown.At least you don't have pine needles up yours.No, I just got some blue man rooting through my drawers.
And there you are. The first puppet show has come due at my sand bar. The beer guys were Puppet-ed today. Who could be next at my bay? Which one is saying which? Bah, you can guess with my bait and switch. Would you like my paw stuck up your mass? It is okay, you can tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.