Pat Hatt's Blog, page 142
November 9, 2015
Just A Little Bit In The Thick Of It!
The cat finds some humans so dumb that he has had better conversations with dried chewing gum. I would never touch such gum though. But that you probably know. Do some humans have a block? Maybe they hit their head on a big rock.
That won't work.
You will fry.
I'm the jerk?
Fine, go ahead and die.
Told you so.
But oh know.
You are slow.
Rub your poor toe.
Try, try again?
Are you nuts?
Like an egg laying hen,
Or the snip snipped nuts of mutts?
That is a bad thing,
Just so you know.
The dong before ding,
Made you eat crow.
I know it will.
I know it must.
I guess the stupid pill,
Gained your trust.
I'll try this way.
No, it isn't the same.
It's the next day,
Yesterday was lame.
It still is broke.
It still is busted.
Did you take a toke?
Maybe that brain is crusted?
I'll have it done.
I'll get it through.
I need more sun.
Not try something new.
Beat a dead horse.
Beat the mutts nuts.
Par for the course,
When in repeat ruts.
I will wait for rain.
I don't need the sun.
At least you feel no pain,
From the stupidity spun.
This could apply to many who do things one way and never get it right at their bay. Those idiots and their remakes too. Those you can flush down the loo. But the cat watched one person try a search and they were always left in the lurch. They typed the same thing each and every day, expecting things to change in their display. Hmmm slow on the uptake I suppose. I guess that is the way the wind blows. Now I will go release some pent up gas from my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
That won't work.
You will fry.
I'm the jerk?
Fine, go ahead and die.
Told you so.
But oh know.
You are slow.
Rub your poor toe.
Try, try again?
Are you nuts?
Like an egg laying hen,
Or the snip snipped nuts of mutts?
That is a bad thing,
Just so you know.
The dong before ding,
Made you eat crow.
I know it will.
I know it must.
I guess the stupid pill,
Gained your trust.
I'll try this way.
No, it isn't the same.
It's the next day,
Yesterday was lame.
It still is broke.
It still is busted.
Did you take a toke?
Maybe that brain is crusted?
I'll have it done.
I'll get it through.
I need more sun.
Not try something new.
Beat a dead horse.
Beat the mutts nuts.
Par for the course,
When in repeat ruts.
I will wait for rain.
I don't need the sun.
At least you feel no pain,
From the stupidity spun.
This could apply to many who do things one way and never get it right at their bay. Those idiots and their remakes too. Those you can flush down the loo. But the cat watched one person try a search and they were always left in the lurch. They typed the same thing each and every day, expecting things to change in their display. Hmmm slow on the uptake I suppose. I guess that is the way the wind blows. Now I will go release some pent up gas from my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 8, 2015
When They Pop Do You Stop?
So you just never know when an idea will show. It could come here or there or could come when changing your underwear. Hey, ideas don't judge even if you have a umm smudge. Good visual there? Okay, on with it at my lair.
When they pop,
Do you stop?
Do you plop,
Or does it flop?
The idea may show,
High or low.
While on a roof,
Or rolling like a goof.
Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Add it to the crop,
Or let it flop?
The idea may come,
When groping a bum.
Maybe while cleaning the litter,
Or screwing with the babysitter?
The idea would judge.
Divorce court you may trudge,
Or maybe to jail.
Could be in need of bail.
Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Even if there is a cop,
Beating you with a mop?
The idea may show,
In a nice fancy bow.
Or it could show,
And bring hell from below.
Do you toss it,
If it is hard shit?
Do you ride it out,
Slippery like a trout?
Or do you let it go.
I know, I know.
Stupid damn song.
Now let it go is strong.
Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Or do you carry on,
Hoping a new one will dawn?
Ideas can hit wherever and they can be clever. But do you stop and write them down? May try to remember them as you drive across town? Hopefully you leave the babysitter be. But hey, ideas don't judge what they see. Now the cat will pass some gas and get another idea for a post for my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
When they pop,
Do you stop?
Do you plop,
Or does it flop?
The idea may show,
High or low.
While on a roof,
Or rolling like a goof.
Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Add it to the crop,
Or let it flop?
The idea may come,
When groping a bum.
Maybe while cleaning the litter,
Or screwing with the babysitter?
The idea would judge.
Divorce court you may trudge,
Or maybe to jail.
Could be in need of bail.
Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Even if there is a cop,
Beating you with a mop?
The idea may show,
In a nice fancy bow.
Or it could show,
And bring hell from below.
Do you toss it,
If it is hard shit?
Do you ride it out,
Slippery like a trout?
Or do you let it go.
I know, I know.
Stupid damn song.
Now let it go is strong.
Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Or do you carry on,
Hoping a new one will dawn?
Ideas can hit wherever and they can be clever. But do you stop and write them down? May try to remember them as you drive across town? Hopefully you leave the babysitter be. But hey, ideas don't judge what they see. Now the cat will pass some gas and get another idea for a post for my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 7, 2015
A Little Chew Between Me And You!
So the cat is fine with letting mutts take the rap, after all, they do eat their own crap, but I'll put a theory to rest. It's not just dogs that can chew with zest.
You see this corner here?It is shiny I fear.But it got chewed.The table never found it rude.
Who did that?Not Cassie cat.Nope, it was me.Caused me glee.
Even the rocking chair.The whole Pat rocks incident at our lair.Do you remember that?The ninja wannabe said it to Pat.
How rude is that?So I chewed the chair, stat. It was tasty as can be,And still caused me glee.
When there is no mouse,I'll settle for the cat house.It is furry though.Could make a hairball show.
But with a little chew,It doesn't taste so eww.Just suck it back.The fur doesn't lack.
Pat can't understand why,I chew the scooper on the fly.It is just there, okay.So I chew it each day.
Plastic is yummy.Not hard on my tummy.I don't chew the scoop part though.That is just nasty, you know.
And back to the corner.Nope, not for Jack Horner.That guy was horny?Maybe he was just thorny.
That one isn't the same.Two corners are my claim.Have to make them match.I chew so no need to scratch.
See? It's not just mutts. They may sniff more mutts, but cats can chew too. I enjoy it at my zoo. Pat just doesn't care, telling me I'll get a splitter in my lip at my lair. Like I'd let that come to pass. Pffft to any splinters says my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
You see this corner here?It is shiny I fear.But it got chewed.The table never found it rude.
Who did that?Not Cassie cat.Nope, it was me.Caused me glee.
Even the rocking chair.The whole Pat rocks incident at our lair.Do you remember that?The ninja wannabe said it to Pat.
How rude is that?So I chewed the chair, stat. It was tasty as can be,And still caused me glee.
When there is no mouse,I'll settle for the cat house.It is furry though.Could make a hairball show.
But with a little chew,It doesn't taste so eww.Just suck it back.The fur doesn't lack.
Pat can't understand why,I chew the scooper on the fly.It is just there, okay.So I chew it each day.
Plastic is yummy.Not hard on my tummy.I don't chew the scoop part though.That is just nasty, you know.
And back to the corner.Nope, not for Jack Horner.That guy was horny?Maybe he was just thorny.
That one isn't the same.Two corners are my claim.Have to make them match.I chew so no need to scratch.
See? It's not just mutts. They may sniff more mutts, but cats can chew too. I enjoy it at my zoo. Pat just doesn't care, telling me I'll get a splitter in my lip at my lair. Like I'd let that come to pass. Pffft to any splinters says my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 6, 2015
Lose Or Win Not Always A Sin!
Today Pat Has An Interview Here, Discussing My Rhyming Rear!
As many authors know, you may never win a lot of dough, as in get sales. Not like the lottery fails. That is just throwing away money, pretending you'll win and all will be sunny. It's a chance, but only at a far, far away glance. But even if you don't win still doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a spin.
You just never know,
How things will go.
But if you sit on your ass,
Nothing will come to pass.
A fail is a fail.
But you made a trail.
A trail with some strife,
But that is just life.
Learned what won't work.
Learned a new perk.
Not all is bad.
Fun can be had.
Done more than most,
As in life they coast.
Never climbing that hill,
Buried in a landfill.
Where as you may smell,
But what the hell.
You can shower it off,
No need to scoff.
Try, try again.
Said at many a den.
But that is only true,
If there is a point at your zoo.
Learn one way it won't work.
That is a perk.
Learn another and another,
Until a win you smother.
But knowing when to cut the cord,
Is its own reward.
Then there's a new path.
You can always take a bath.
A fail may come once more,
Maybe even a fail of lore.
But what the hell.
You rang the bell.
A win is grand.
Liked across the land.
But a fail you learn,
Both have their turn.
Afraid to fail at your sea? Afraid to fail miserably and fall from a tree? Better to fail than to never try. But that is what keeps the cat spry. Try this and that, maybe chew some fat. Hey, helps with the mass of my trying little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
As many authors know, you may never win a lot of dough, as in get sales. Not like the lottery fails. That is just throwing away money, pretending you'll win and all will be sunny. It's a chance, but only at a far, far away glance. But even if you don't win still doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a spin.
You just never know,
How things will go.
But if you sit on your ass,
Nothing will come to pass.
A fail is a fail.
But you made a trail.
A trail with some strife,
But that is just life.
Learned what won't work.
Learned a new perk.
Not all is bad.
Fun can be had.
Done more than most,
As in life they coast.
Never climbing that hill,
Buried in a landfill.
Where as you may smell,
But what the hell.
You can shower it off,
No need to scoff.
Try, try again.
Said at many a den.
But that is only true,
If there is a point at your zoo.
Learn one way it won't work.
That is a perk.
Learn another and another,
Until a win you smother.
But knowing when to cut the cord,
Is its own reward.
Then there's a new path.
You can always take a bath.
A fail may come once more,
Maybe even a fail of lore.
But what the hell.
You rang the bell.
A win is grand.
Liked across the land.
But a fail you learn,
Both have their turn.
Afraid to fail at your sea? Afraid to fail miserably and fall from a tree? Better to fail than to never try. But that is what keeps the cat spry. Try this and that, maybe chew some fat. Hey, helps with the mass of my trying little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 5, 2015
The Say And Do Of A Few!
The cat loves the say and do types who have all kinds of excuses coming from their wind pipes. They find one out their ass if they need to with this class. Seen them high and low? Bet you have at your show.
The say and do,
Here for you.
Do this and that.
Chew no fat.
Whoops, to that.
It went splat.
Why is that?
We fell on a mat.
We bumped our toe.
A bruise did show.
Can't do that now.
Don't raise an eyebrow.
It is true.
The say and do.
But our poor toe,
Became a foe.
So now we can't.
Go ask an ant.
They have a say and do.
They have an army too.
We said we'd help.
But now we yelp.
We'd said we'd do this.
But now we are a miss.
If you must know,
We stubbed our toe.
That is why we lied.
In it we take no pride.
Or maybe we do.
But not telling you.
With the say and do,
We screw over a few.
How about that?
We chewed the fat.
A lie times two,
With the say and do.
The say and do,
Hasn't a clue.
It's the say and don't.
Do what we say, we won't.
Don't you love those people all around? Better off listening to a hound. At least they don't have a lose screw when it comes to the say and do. Do it and it's done and then away we run. At least it works for us in mass, even my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
The say and do,
Here for you.
Do this and that.
Chew no fat.
Whoops, to that.
It went splat.
Why is that?
We fell on a mat.
We bumped our toe.
A bruise did show.
Can't do that now.
Don't raise an eyebrow.
It is true.
The say and do.
But our poor toe,
Became a foe.
So now we can't.
Go ask an ant.
They have a say and do.
They have an army too.
We said we'd help.
But now we yelp.
We'd said we'd do this.
But now we are a miss.
If you must know,
We stubbed our toe.
That is why we lied.
In it we take no pride.
Or maybe we do.
But not telling you.
With the say and do,
We screw over a few.
How about that?
We chewed the fat.
A lie times two,
With the say and do.
The say and do,
Hasn't a clue.
It's the say and don't.
Do what we say, we won't.
Don't you love those people all around? Better off listening to a hound. At least they don't have a lose screw when it comes to the say and do. Do it and it's done and then away we run. At least it works for us in mass, even my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 4, 2015
You Control How You Roll!
Insecure are you?Insecure you say?Insecure is true?Pfft it can go away.
Can't control the weather.Can't control the moon.But insecurity is a feather,Not the weight of a baboon.
Can't control the gas price.Can't control the redo.Actually if you think twice,That isn't entirely true.
But it takes work.Like not getting gas.Walking on a freeway isn't a perk.But insecurity is an easy pass.
Can't control the Earth.Can't control the cat.But you can control your worth,So no need to go splat.
Can't control the clouds.Can't control the traffic.But no need to draw crowds,Insecurity needn't an info graphic.
Can't control the heat.Can't control the cold.But insecurity can be beat,Before it takes hold.
Control how you roll.Control it through and through.Then when it comes for a stroll,Flush it down the loo.
Insecurity controlled.It has been sent away.It came and you patrolled,Flushed it into the bay.
Can't control the this,Can't control the that.But insecurity you can miss,Just tell it to scat.
Control it at your sea? Hopefully you aren't on a controlling spree. That would be bad. Just control things that can be had. Then poof, they go away. On to a brighter day. Don't want them to give you gas. That is no fun to my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 3, 2015
I've Been Caught For I'm A Robot!
Stupid Google came up with a bright idea yesterday. Unless it is just my bay. They can stick this in their ear and I hope it gets stuck in their rear. What's so lame? The Robot Where's Waldo Game!
It's easy to play,
Any old day.
Comment and done.
Nope, there's more fun.
Are you a robot?
Nah, no Skynet plot.
Click the little box.
Google gets chicken pox.
Up they pop.
It won't stop.
You can't flop.
Look at the crop.
Where's Waldo?
Is he a baldo?
A cheat rhyme.
Blame a mime.
Oh wait!
Waldo's a lame date.
You can't find him.
Go out on a limb.
Pick all images that are trees.
Watch as they sway in the breeze.
Oopsy, you missed one.
Die you and your robot fun.
Pick all flower pics.
Those pretty thinks on sticks.
Wooden ones don't count.
Sorry, you missed the amount.
Play the Where's whatever game.
It will bring you fame.
Pick the pics of what we say,
Or your comment won't display.
That is the new in.
No spam will spin.
We'll screw them all,
At every last blog wall.
Pick all things that are lame.
#1 is this stupid comment picture game.
It sure doesn't seem to be sparse.
Blogger can stick that up its arse.
Did you get that stupid picture captcha yet? The numbers/letters are a waaaaaaay better bet. At least you just have to stick them in. This you actually have to go and waste time looking to get a comment win. STUPID in every way and it seems to be being forced on every blogger bay. This idea can go choke on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
It's easy to play,
Any old day.
Comment and done.
Nope, there's more fun.
Are you a robot?
Nah, no Skynet plot.
Click the little box.
Google gets chicken pox.
Up they pop.
It won't stop.
You can't flop.
Look at the crop.
Where's Waldo?
Is he a baldo?
A cheat rhyme.
Blame a mime.
Oh wait!
Waldo's a lame date.
You can't find him.
Go out on a limb.
Pick all images that are trees.
Watch as they sway in the breeze.
Oopsy, you missed one.
Die you and your robot fun.
Pick all flower pics.
Those pretty thinks on sticks.
Wooden ones don't count.
Sorry, you missed the amount.
Play the Where's whatever game.
It will bring you fame.
Pick the pics of what we say,
Or your comment won't display.
That is the new in.
No spam will spin.
We'll screw them all,
At every last blog wall.
Pick all things that are lame.
#1 is this stupid comment picture game.
It sure doesn't seem to be sparse.
Blogger can stick that up its arse.
Did you get that stupid picture captcha yet? The numbers/letters are a waaaaaaay better bet. At least you just have to stick them in. This you actually have to go and waste time looking to get a comment win. STUPID in every way and it seems to be being forced on every blogger bay. This idea can go choke on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 2, 2015
Get It Here First With This Burst!
The cat will help all today. Plus I'll make some pay. Isn't that grand? I'll be helping out all across the land. So get it here first. Those other guys sell the worst.
Come one, come all.
Read the writing on the wall.
It is as safe as can be,
You can trust little old me.
I'm a feline after all.
We don't lie in the fall.
We lie in the sun.
I bet you liked that one.
Got you sucked in already.
It will be coming steady.
What? You don't know what it is?
Bah, you'll be begging for my new biz.
As long as you don't sniff a butt.
Leave that aspect to a mutt.
You'd look funny doing that.
But you're money would still be taken by the cat.
Hey, I can be bought.
Just don't sniff a lot.
What is it you ask?
First let me put on my mask.
Don't I look so wise in it?
I'm really the shit.
I read it in a book so it must be true.
Damn, I'm so great at my zoo.
Now come and sit,
Of course after you've paid for it.
No freebies for anyone.
Hey, I want to make a ton.
Now show some skin.
Don't worry, this isn't sin.
This is what you have to do.
Get ready, we go on two.
One, two, jab!
Did you like my stab?
Didn't I do that well?
Now your health is so swell.
I just gave you a shot.
It works a WHOLE LOT.
Now you won't get the common cold.
What? On my snake oil shot you aren't sold?
Are you lining up at my sea? Come on, show me the money. I'll save you from the common cold. My shot full of water is pure gold. Who needs one for the flu when you got my placebo at my zoo? So stick out your arm, water will do no harm. Hmm, may cause diarrhea, bloating, headaches, heart attacks, strokes, the common cold and gas. But that only happens to 0.000001% of those jabbed by my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
Come one, come all.
Read the writing on the wall.
It is as safe as can be,
You can trust little old me.
I'm a feline after all.
We don't lie in the fall.
We lie in the sun.
I bet you liked that one.
Got you sucked in already.
It will be coming steady.
What? You don't know what it is?
Bah, you'll be begging for my new biz.
As long as you don't sniff a butt.
Leave that aspect to a mutt.
You'd look funny doing that.
But you're money would still be taken by the cat.
Hey, I can be bought.
Just don't sniff a lot.
What is it you ask?
First let me put on my mask.
Don't I look so wise in it?
I'm really the shit.
I read it in a book so it must be true.
Damn, I'm so great at my zoo.
Now come and sit,
Of course after you've paid for it.
No freebies for anyone.
Hey, I want to make a ton.
Now show some skin.
Don't worry, this isn't sin.
This is what you have to do.
Get ready, we go on two.
One, two, jab!
Did you like my stab?
Didn't I do that well?
Now your health is so swell.
I just gave you a shot.
It works a WHOLE LOT.
Now you won't get the common cold.
What? On my snake oil shot you aren't sold?
Are you lining up at my sea? Come on, show me the money. I'll save you from the common cold. My shot full of water is pure gold. Who needs one for the flu when you got my placebo at my zoo? So stick out your arm, water will do no harm. Hmm, may cause diarrhea, bloating, headaches, heart attacks, strokes, the common cold and gas. But that only happens to 0.000001% of those jabbed by my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
November 1, 2015
Something New From Orange To Blue!
The cat was just thinking the other day, I do that now and then at my bay, what if there were colors out there humans didn't know about? Like on some world with alien trout. Would we be able to see them all? What would we name call?
Orange and blue,
Are are a fine two.
Black and white,
Used day and night.
Some turn red,
From toes to head.
Others are tickled pink,
When brought to the brink.
There are shades of grey,
Not that smut book at my bay.
Let it go, okay?
Two in one today.
Anyway, time for new.
Would it hurt our view?
Would our brain fry?
Could it be seen by our eye?
A bit hard to comprehend?
Is the cat around the bend?
Humans think they have seen everyone,
But what if there is more color fun?
Leitus could be it.
Might cause you to spit.
Froom is another one.
Doesn't that sound fun?
Wroll brings something new.
It can be mixed too.
That creates trool.
It turns out rather cool.
Who knew there were more?
I made it up at my shore?
Pfft to that.
Trust the cat.
Nuun will be one.
Could make a pretty gun.
A pellet one.
No bullets are spun.
Colors that are new.
Think there are a few?
Or is the mind stuck?
Should anyone really give a umm duck?
Can you imagine waking up and a new color is in sight? Would that give you a fright? Be cool to the cat, as long as it wasn't the color of a probing alien where we are at. On that we'll take a pass. They won't be getting near my colorful little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
Orange and blue,
Are are a fine two.
Black and white,
Used day and night.
Some turn red,
From toes to head.
Others are tickled pink,
When brought to the brink.
There are shades of grey,
Not that smut book at my bay.
Let it go, okay?
Two in one today.
Anyway, time for new.
Would it hurt our view?
Would our brain fry?
Could it be seen by our eye?
A bit hard to comprehend?
Is the cat around the bend?
Humans think they have seen everyone,
But what if there is more color fun?
Leitus could be it.
Might cause you to spit.
Froom is another one.
Doesn't that sound fun?
Wroll brings something new.
It can be mixed too.
That creates trool.
It turns out rather cool.
Who knew there were more?
I made it up at my shore?
Pfft to that.
Trust the cat.
Nuun will be one.
Could make a pretty gun.
A pellet one.
No bullets are spun.
Colors that are new.
Think there are a few?
Or is the mind stuck?
Should anyone really give a umm duck?
Can you imagine waking up and a new color is in sight? Would that give you a fright? Be cool to the cat, as long as it wasn't the color of a probing alien where we are at. On that we'll take a pass. They won't be getting near my colorful little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
October 31, 2015
A Future Day As The Ghosts Play!
So way back when Halloween started someone must have farted. That is the only reason for this. The Celts sure were amiss. It was said that because spirits and everything were out and about, seeing the future was as easy as catching a trout.
I can do it too.
Right here at my zoo.
No need for a boo.
I can do it on the loo.
Just a little flick.
I'll do it right slick.
Brick by flippin brick,
Everything will click.
Don't believe me?
Go climb a tree.
Human stuck in a tree.
That would be a sight to see.
The future is here.
I can see it in my sphere.
It is so easy to peer.
No need to shed a tear.
What was that?
Where are you at?
Listen to the cat.
I'll chew the fat.
You are here.
You are near.
You have no fear,
Of my rhyming rear.
Wow, I'm wise.
The future flies.
No second tries.
I tell you no lies.
You read my post.
You read it at my coast.
Read or read boast.
Say it right like most?
Or maybe say it wrong.
Sing the same old song.
Why not sing along.
Rap like Donkey Kong.
And now for the mess,
I saw so much less.
Because as "publish" I press,
It's still June I confess.
Maybe on Halloween night I'll see so much more. Do you think so at your shore? Do you think the future can be seen on that day of Halloween? Pfffft says the cat and Santa decided to drop the fat. Silly humans are found in mass. But you amuse my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
I can do it too.
Right here at my zoo.
No need for a boo.
I can do it on the loo.
Just a little flick.
I'll do it right slick.
Brick by flippin brick,
Everything will click.
Don't believe me?
Go climb a tree.
Human stuck in a tree.
That would be a sight to see.
The future is here.
I can see it in my sphere.
It is so easy to peer.
No need to shed a tear.
What was that?
Where are you at?
Listen to the cat.
I'll chew the fat.
You are here.
You are near.
You have no fear,
Of my rhyming rear.
Wow, I'm wise.
The future flies.
No second tries.
I tell you no lies.
You read my post.
You read it at my coast.
Read or read boast.
Say it right like most?
Or maybe say it wrong.
Sing the same old song.
Why not sing along.
Rap like Donkey Kong.
And now for the mess,
I saw so much less.
Because as "publish" I press,
It's still June I confess.
Maybe on Halloween night I'll see so much more. Do you think so at your shore? Do you think the future can be seen on that day of Halloween? Pfffft says the cat and Santa decided to drop the fat. Silly humans are found in mass. But you amuse my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
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