Pat Hatt's Blog, page 104

A Heritage Hate Comes To Date!

The cat shakes his head at many humans every day. There is always something new at play. Or maybe today that would be old. I guess you can decide as this rhyme takes hold.

My heritage is great.
It is ever so grand.
From the farthest back date,
It is anything but bland.

Your heritage is bad.
Your ancestor did this and that.
That makes me so mad.
You are just a dirty rat.

Yep, I'm a great person.
My ancestors were top notch.
So nothing about me can worsen.
But you need a kick to the crotch.

You can't be a good person.
Not one single solitary bit.
All you can do is worsen.
Your ancestors were such shit.

Your country invaded mine.
That was just so wrong.
I am still going to whine,
And carry on the hateful song.

It may have been 200 years ago.
But it directly affects me.
It makes my hate grow.
That is all it takes you see.

Yeah, it was your fault too.
Your fault such a thing came due.
You were related to more than a few.
Every word I say is entirely true.

I'll revel in what came before.
It is my heritage after all.
I can't just shut the door.
I have to use it to stand tall.

Create a new heritage or way of life?
Pfffft who wants to do that?
I want to sit back and enjoy my strife.
Don't be some crazy dingbat.

Don't forget I hate you.
I hate all of your kind.
I'll turn you black and blue.
What was done 500 years ago is still on my mind. 

Pffffffft is all the cat can say. Hating someone for what their heritage is or what their ancestor did is moronic at one's bay. Unless they are actually as bad as what their ancestor was, but hating just because? I'd say get a grip with the stupid past trip, but most don't have the capacity to do so. Instead they just hang on to the past at their show. They say you shouldn't live in the past yet it is something many can't ever get past. Are you a hater from what one's ancestor made come to pass? Pffft once more says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Get On Track With A Sound Attack!

Today the cat will give you a thrill and it will only cost you a $100 bill. I like American money more. It is worth more at our shore. That is just an fyi. Now on with what you'll want to buy.

Meow, meow, meow.
Doesn't that wow?
It is such a clever tune.
It will leave you over the moon.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.
I can be a twerp.
It may annoy.
But some may get joy.

Cling, clang, clunk.
Nope, not in a funk.
I just knocked stuff over.
I'm more annoying than rover.

Hiss, hiss, spit.
Don't you love that shit?
You may even get some saliva in the eye.
That will impress any girl or guy.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.
That was me having lunch.
It was very tasty.
Satisfying to even the pale and pasty.

Hiss, hiss, spit.
A repeat bit?
Nope, that was Cassie.
I pissed off the lassie.

Grrrrrrrrrrr, meow, grrrrrrr.
You ruffled my fur.
I hate the cage.
But this one may be all the rage.

You want a song too?
Don't worry, there are a few.
As a bonus we'll through in two.
That qualifies as a few.

It's Rhyme Time!
Singing is sublime.
Got the job done.
As around we run.

Hand up my ass.
It has no class.
Hey, it is a puppet.
Not a cheery Muppet.

So act now. Get the meow, meow, meow. It is the soundtrack of my life. It is filled with happiness and strife. It only costs $100 or so. There may be taxes you know. What was that? You won't buy from the cat? Movies make them all the time. So come and drop a dime. My tunes may be in 3D too. Yep, I can do that at my zoo. Tack on some extra crap to up the cost of the pass. Enjoy the soundtrack of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Trying To Prove You Are On The Move?

Did you know sitting on the couch could be so exhausting? Maybe it is that cake with extra frosting? Chowing that down can be a hard task. You know the cat just has to ask.

Sitting there.
You can stare.
You can swear.
Time to spare.

Couch or chair.
Bland or flair.
You sit and stare,
Without a care.

But it's rare.
A magic square.
Maybe cat hair.
Say a prayer.

On the chair.
In your lair.
Still on the chair.
There's a glare.

Dive into it.
A diving fit.
Dive into a new show.
Dive into a task's new glow.

Spring into action.
Won't leave you in traction.
Spring into it with the remote.
A new channel gets your vote.

Fly the hell out of there.
Damn, no feathers to spare.
You are kinda stuck.
So you pass the buck.

Fly the coop.
Time to poop.
Hey it rhymed.
You won't be timed.

Fly, spring, dive.
Got out alive.
Bah, it's only five.
Follow your drive.

More to spare.
Away you tear.
Going nowhere.
Paying no fare.

Who knew so much can be done with just sitting around. No wonder so much sitting is found. Do you do such things when you sit? Now that is some talented shit. Can dive and spring and fly and drive without leaving your seat. That is so neat. Blame the singing bass. He brought this up to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Tech Kinda Day Here At Play!

So the cat was thinking the other day, yeah we know I do that at my bay, technology is supposed to save time, right? Hmm, I guess someone missed the memo that night.

Tech saves time.
It can stop crime.
It can do this and that.
Tech is where it's at.

Saving time is great.
Look, done at a fast rate.
So now you do more.
Don't you love busy work galore?

Oopsy, no time saved.
9-5 path still paved.
Stuck there the same hours.
Gotta love those time saving powers.

It can stop crime.
Yeah, and stun a mime.
Then the bad guys get it,
Whoops, can't stop the shit.

Create something to stop that.
Whoops, got it where they are at.
Create something to stop the that of the that.
Wowweeee, are you following the cat?

Tech makes one more in tune.
Hmmm and my face is on the moon.
That neck crap says otherwise.
Can't even wake up to see the flies.

Head down when walking.
TTFN and GTG said when talking.
Maybe even add a dash.
Yep, can sure be in tune with each newsflash.

Except for the car about to hit you.
Or maybe that pile of goo.
Or maybe that open man hole cover.
But oh, you still texted your flavor of the week lover.

Now keep saving time.
Keep on stopping crime.
You sure can do it.
Beat that 9-5 shit.

Wait, it's now 8-5.
Damn, will you get out alive?
All that time you saved is there.
You just lost an hour to spare.

Still think tech saves time? I suppose it does when used in its prime. Saves one from snail mail. But you still have other things that hit the trail. Anything can be used for bad too. But that you knew. So enjoy saving time in mass. I'll now go nap my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

I'll Pass The Buck With The I Suck!

Wowweee. Pat won at his other sea. And he didn't even rhyme. That is a crime. If you want to see the story he won for it is over at his, lame non-rhyming, blog shore. Just click here for a peer.
The cat is the best. Yep, the best at being a pest. That I can do with ease. It is such a breeze. I can also rhyme. I can kick a mime. I'm super at that. I'm one swell cat.

What can't I do?
Pffft nothing at my zoo.
I can do it all.
Read that writing on my wall.

I can't be clean?
Whatever do you mean?
So I flick a little litter.
No need to get bitter.

I can't draw?
Bah, it may have a flaw.
But my stick people are grand.
Some even get a hand.

I suck at dating?
Umm you know there is no mating?
I'm snip snip you see.
So who cares about being fancy free.

I can't leave TP be?
Hmph, that wasn't me.
You put your finger through it.
Never buy that cheap shit.

I suck at singing?
Don't you hear that ear ringing?
That was little old me.
Doesn't my tune send glee?

I suck at cooking?
Hey, weren't you looking?
There is nothing to cook.
I don't eat much at my nook.

I suck at being nice?
Pffft nice costs a high price.
I have to swat the cats at the other sea.
They deserve it and it gives me glee.

I suck at physics stuff?
Bah, I can't get enough.
E=MC2, right?
Did I win at my site?

Weren't you told?
Now all is above the fold.
I can't do nothing at all.
The cat is grand at everything at our hall.

Anything you suck at or are you more like the cat? You are good at everything. I'll blame Pat for the above at our wing. He made me channel him. He can be quite dim. Whoops, the litter thing and the TP may have been me. I'll never admit it at my sea. I am also a pro at passing gas. It is so easy to do for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Cold Not Sold!

 
The cold is here.Give a cheer.You'll be frozen.Hey, you've chosen.
Chosen to freeze.Ain't it a breeze?Whoops, I said ain't.Is Pat going to faint?
Will someone die?Oh me, oh my.This is so bad.Ain't can't be had.
Contractions abound.Contact a hound?Then noses abound.Up butts they are found.
Great visual there.Right! Frozen lair.Frozen you are.Stuck on par.
Frozen from cold.Bah, that's just old.It could still be warm.Or maybe a snow storm.
Unless you live south.Then shut your mouth.I didn't mean that.Pffft right says the cat.
Frozen you are.Stuck on par.Whoops, I said that.Such a repeat cat.
Frozen you are.Like a morning car.Didn't say that one.Time for a warm up run.
Frozen no more.Goodbye insecure shore.You warmed on up,And dropped the insecure hiccup.
Ever frozen in place with the same old insecure place? Maybe you just need that warm tingly feeling. Hmmm could be some gutter dealing. A car can be remote started, you know. I'll end this before I become a R rated show. Time to take a warm up pass. I sure don't want to be a cold little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Lines Blur With An If I Were!

What one could do when they don't rhyme on cue. Or rather just rhyme I suppose. If you try and make the cat do anything he will bite your toes. Or pull your armpit hair. Hey, I'm not above it at my lair.

If I weren't a writer,
Maybe I'd be a fighter.
Putting Cassie in her place,
As around the home I race.

If I weren't a rhymer,
Maybe I'd be Slimer.
Hey, I can play a ghost.
I'm just too busy making this post.

If I weren't a cat,
Maybe I'd be a rat.
Nah, I'd rather be a mutt.
Nah, neither make the cut.

If I were a dentist,
I may have had to apprenticed.
But at least I'd be rich.
Hmm nasty mouth would make me twitch.

If I were a vet,
I'd be a happy pet.
Nothing would go up my ass,
I'd never let thermometers trespass.

If I were an actor,
I'd probably own a tractor.
Run over all the crazies after me.
It would be slow so they'd live, you see.

If I were a politician,
I'd be on one big mission.
The mission to lie and swindle.
Until re-election then that love I'd rekindle.

If I were a mechanic,
I'd leave all in a panic.
Were those tires supposed to stay on?
Beats me, I'll fix it at dawn.

If I were a plumber,
I'd sure enjoy summer.
Then my ass crack wouldn't get cold,
As I bent under the sink ever so bold.

If I were...screw that.
I'll stick with rhyming cat.
A much better way to be.
I'll stick with just being me.

Ever think about the if you were? As there are sure many jobs that could make one purr. Also many many more that would still really bore. So much one can do it is no wonder so may want reincarnation to be true. Maybe someone even wants to be a singing bass? Hey, you will only be judged a little by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Plot Of The Scary Thought!

So today is the big day. The day Halloween Nazi waits for all year at her bay. She stretches it into a month or so though. That is why she is the Halloween Nazi at her show. Back to the scary kick as we go on another run some slick.

Scary thrown around,
From hay to killer hound.
Godzilla comes to play.
But all crazy at ones bay.

Make believe they are.
Killer hounds could wait in the car.
But rabies is a thing,
Still probably won't feel that fling.

Like the thoughts in your head.
They'll be there until your dead.
Some voices may too,
If you are like my zoo.

Scary they can go,
As you dig down below.
For you make them up.
Just like that Chihuahua being a killer pup.

Oh, this may occur.
Oh no, I'm covered in fur.
I believe that's called a hairy back.
Won't give you a heart attack.

Oh, what if this comes to be?
I may drown in the sea.
I don't even own a boat.
But I could get one that won't float.

Oh, what if the place burns down.
It could take me and the whole town.
I could kill one and all,
Thanks to a spark in my hall.

Oh, what if the plane crashes?
That may give me more than rashes.
I may be blown to bits,
That sure is the pits.

Oh, what if that was poison I drank?
Oh, what if someone put a bomb in my gas tank?
What if the ceiling caves in?
What if killer birds take my eyes for a spin?

Can go on all day.
Scary thoughts can play.
But in most cases make believe they are,
As they will most likely never happen at your sand bar.

Sure, a plane could crash and aliens could drop off a giant killer fire breathing monster that turns all to ash. But will it come to be? Probably not at any sea. More likely to croak from the stress or thinking more and not less. Are the scary thoughts up there? Do they haunt your lair? Need to give them a one way pass. That works for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Here's To Magic However Tragic!

Look at the day. Magic may come to play. It is resolution time. Who needs to wait 2 more months for such a chime? Now is the time with magic in its prime.

Bippity Boppity Blue,
He stopped to have a poo.
Then he lost his shoe.
It was stolen by a kangaroo.

Wait! That is wrong.
Not a resolution song.
I resolve to stay on task.
Now you have no need to ask.

Elephants can fly.
Oh my, oh my.
Whoops,  magic didn't work.
Off track is a perk.

Look! A black cat.
So scary where it's at.
Wait! It may be magic.
A cat can't be tragic.

Bippiy boppity boo.
I want a golden loo.
Waiting, waiting, nope.
Just a litterbox in which to cope.

Magic in the air.
It is oh so rare.
Not a smelly box,
Or a pair of socks.

I resolve to lose weight.
Yep, on this magic date.
Look, it didn't work.
Damn, I blame the mail clerk.

Why? I don't know.
Now on with the show.
I hear that magic tune.
It is enough to make me swoon.

I resolve to get a wife.
Yeah, I need one of them in my life.
I see a magic site.
I can order one overnight.

Look! It worked out.
A wife is now about.
Magic really does exist.
This magic day thing shouldn't be missed.

Wowweee, aren't you impressed now? The magic sure took a bow. No need for the new year you can now give a new magic day a cheer. Hey, same shit will occur. As in no magic will happen and you won't purr. But if you have the dough, a new mail order bride may show. Could make magic there, right? All through the night? Or get scammed in mass. Hey, I never said you should trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

You Better Beware Of The Nonsense Scare!

The cat will go scary today. I already did that at my bay? Bah, not this way. This is so scary you'll run for a pile of hay. Jumping in that may itch. That can be a bitch.

A roll in the hay,
Come what may.
A giant itch.
An itch to hitch.

Your hitch of an itch,
Makes you twitch.
Twitch from the toe,
To where things flow.

Flow as in nose?
That's how it goes.
Unless you go gutter.
Then you may shutter.

The twitchy glitch,
Has made you rich.
Rich with twitches.
Can't blame witches.

You rolled in hay.
Or maybe all you did was lay.
Lay or roll,
You took the stroll.

Now you twitch.
Twitch and itch.
Hay fever upon you.
It is old yet new.

New yet old.
Either way, it takes hold.
Hold and golden.
Gold and holdin.

Rich with disease.
Rich with fleas.
Rich with twitches.
No need for stitches.

Now twitch for life.
Twitch with your wife.
Twitch with your man,
There's not a twitch ban.

Your wish granted,
However slanted.
You became rich.
Rich with the twitch.

Are you now twitchy? No need to get bitchy. Or blame something witchy. That may make them twitchy. Then you may get boiled in a pot. That could scare a lot. So thanks to you hiding in the hay you now twitch for life at your bay. Enjoy the fleas too. We hate those at our zoo. Wasn't that of the scary class? I told you so with my nonsense writing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.