Pat Hatt's Blog, page 108

Take A Hike, I'm On Strike!

Wow, you humans sure like to have a lot to say. I guess I do too as I rhyme away. I mean you just make it so easy for me to do. So I have to at my zoo.

I'm on strike.
Take a hike.
See my sign?
It's so divine.

Up and down.
Cheer across town.
An angry cheer.
May bend an ear.

Bend an ear.
That would cause fear.
I want all to get bent.
Can't you see I want to make a dent?

Yep, here is my tent.
Now go, get bent.
I'm bent and bending.
I hope I'm offending.

I'm on strike.
I'll say what I like.
It is so unfair.
See my deadly stare?

Striking out.
Has some clout.
Striking in.
Isn't a win.

Reverse that?
Bah, don't be a dingbat.
It stays that way.
Striking is at play.

I want a dollar more.
Here my encore.
I want that dollar.
I'll hiss and holler.

Signs go up and down.
See my cheery frown?
Oxymoron there.
But I don't care.

Can't you hear?
I bent your ear.
I'm on strike.
Now take a hike.

Some strikes are so pointless as can be. Lose more than you gain in the end with your striking spree. Some can be handy though. But in the end all about dough. The arbitrator gets their share the longer it goes on at ones lair. Ever go on strike at your sea? Thankfully it has been avoided by me. I'm not a fan of the yelling and the round and round mass. I'll strike out on my own with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Whether Or Not Comes To Pot!

The cat heard this again the other day and then the rhyme just popped in at my bay. Sometimes it works that way. But I'm sure I said that before with my rhyme play.

Whether you like it or not,
It has to be said.
Whether you like it or not,
You may hear it until your dead,

Whether you like it or not,
Things will change.
Whether you like it or not,
Life may rearrange. 

Whether you like it or not,
This and that can be said that and this.
Whether you like it or not,
Snip snipped means you get no bliss.

Whether you like it or not,
The Blue guy likes the shade blue.
Whether you like it or not,
Raid can make a numb tongue come due.

Whether you like it or not,
Bills need to be paid.
Whether you like it or not,
Sometimes there's no shade.

Whether you like it or not,
People will whine.
Whether you like it or not,
Some days the sun may not shine.

Whether you like it or not,
Some days it may shine on a dog's ass.
Whether you like it or not,
White Men Can't Jump taught that class.

Whether you like it or not,
The seasons will come due.
Whether you like it or not,
Some people won't have a clue.

Whether you like it or not,
I have written another post.
Whether you like it or not,
Man boobs may be seen at the coast.

Whether you like it or not,
I'm a little rhyming ass.
Whether you like it or not,
I will now go pass some gas.

The cat could go on forever with this like it or not endeavor. Anything you like it or not that comes due? I'm sure there are more than a few. Whether you like it or not I still need to pass that gas. So off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Stupid Takes A Hit As These Are Worse Than It!

Stupid really must be getting lonely now. Some people are so far past it they wow. You know how they say you shouldn't leave personal info online? Well some shouldn't put anything online to remain fine.

Why did the civil war have to happen? It'd be one less thing to study.
Yeah, school is so rough, buddy.
You got it so much rougher than those who fought.
Was that a new Iphone you just bought?

You know you love someone when you save their texts and re-read later.
Now that may make sense to even a gator.
Except it was a supposed quote by Marilyn Monroe.
Whoops, texting wasn't invented for her to give a go.

My teacher is so dumb he thought the sun was a star.
Boy, we can tell you are going far.
Maybe you'll go to Mars.
Maybe not, as they don't have bars.

Someone told me you can pay for stuff online by putting your credit card in the cd slot.
That someone must have knew you had brain rot.
If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you.
I takes all major credit cards too.

Organic ketchup and turkey burgers. I'm turning into a vegetarian. 
Yeah, and the cat just turned into a stinky barbarian.
Poor turkey's get the shaft.
Maybe they were born on a raft?

Correct use of their. Can I do what their doing?
Did I just hear booing?
Maybe correct has a new meaning?
You may need some grammar screening.

Just learned Africa is not a country.
Did someone tell you bluntly?
That may have been bad.
Hey, new brain cells may be had.

Just found a phone from the 90's with #. Why did they need a hashtag?
Hmmm one too many a doobie drag?
I think they call that symbol pound.
It has magically always been around.

Help find studies on how our generation is lazy.
The irony here sure isn't hazy.
Woweeee, you proved it for all.
Take a bow and stand tall.

Is the 4th of July being celebrated on the 3rd or 4th this year?
You sure kicked things into gear.
Maybe they'll change it to the third.
Wait, that would be absurd.

And that is why stupid people should not have internet access. Then they probably would never win at chess. Hell, angry birds would do them in. Tetris would probably be a sin. See any dumb things along the way? Oh what people will say. I guess ignorance is bliss though. Can't hurt if they are too dumb to know. Good thing it is not the whole human mass. I couldn't handle that with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Oopsy! I'm Not PC!

So back when Pat was job searching at our sea, at least I hope "back" can be used by me, as at the time of writing this he is still searching away, I kinda screwed him over with what I say. I got Pat in trouble. Hey, at least I didn't bury him in rubble.

Your interview was great.
Your resume was first rate.
Your cover letter too,
But we can't hire you.

You see we played stalker.
And then came the shocker.
You aren't PC at all.
You could be our downfall.

Stock price could plummet.
Then we'd all have to slum it.
That just can't do.
So we can't hire you.

Come back again when you clean up your act.
PC is now a fact.
You need to learn tact.
Delete your online presence to be exact.

Then we will hire you.
Pay will come do.
Why are you smiling?
Did I upset the filing?

Stop looking at me like that.
You can go now, Mr. Hatt.
No one will hire you,
Until PC comes due.

Take it all down.
Then you can get a job in town.
You need to watch what you say.
It can cause others dismay.

Hope to see you back,
When you decide to end the flack,
And get with the program of PC.
If that time comes I'll be glad to have thee.

Until then stay away.
Do you hear what I say?
Why are you smiling at me?
Did you not hear what I said to thee?

Now obviously that is an exaggeration a bit. But the windbag, who was full of PC shit, stalked Pat out. I guess he did not like what we shout. Maybe he'll see this and really hiss. If one has the PC stick up their butt then they can go yank it out and play mini-putt. Then shove back up their mass. No PC loving, nut job is going to stop my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall

A Make It Work Kinda Perk?

The cat was sleeping here at home and Pat went out to roam. Actually he went out to babysit but I guess that counts as roaming a bit. Glad we didn't have to go. Hair pullers are scary don't you know.

Fine and dandy,
Fill em full of candy.
That's the cat's way.
But then they'll play.

Whoops, it broke.
Poke, poke, poke.
Make it work.
Don't be a jerk.

Hmm the battery is dead.
Can fix it he said.
New batteries came due.
Fixed without glue.

Whoops, that broke.
Come back here bloke.
Fix this site.
I want to play minecraft all night.

Pulled the plug.
No more blocks to be dug.
Stuck it back in.
Poof, instant win.

Whoops, that broke.
I'll go get a coke.
While you can fix it.
I'll be back in a bit.

Hit the buttons right.
The TV took flight.
Easy as can be.
Now a show you can see.

All fine and dandy,
Shove in more candy.
Hey, it works.
At least for candy clerks.

Whoops, that broke.
Poke, poke, poke.
Fix this internet site.
It no longer sees the light.

Whoops, that stays broken.
There is no magic token.
The site is down.
On comes the frown.

Geez, things get broken a lot that aren't really broken. Maybe a new word needs to be spoken? Ever have to fix what isn't broken at your sea? Hey, at least it is as easy as can be. But when the real broken comes may get a few flapping gums. I'll just stay home with Cass and actually make sure I break things with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

With Round Fifty They Get Nifty!

We are now half way to 100 at my sea. Only took a few years for 50 to come to be. The search engine nuts keeping finding my place though. We may reach 100, you never know.

stupidity of black friday shopping rhyme

Humans are dumb. That's all you need, chum.

touch me boobie

Do you want yours to be felt or do you want to touch them as you have stuff below the belt?

my dog ate my booger

Protein I suppose. Wait! Were you picking your nose?

follow the nut

Does it roll away? Ice Age come to play?

butts nuts2015

Oh, those kind of nuts. I won't follow them or nuts attached to butts.

a little bit thick

Now you got me all gutter with your mind all a flutter.

pull my finger you over toned man

Umm err okay. Arnold came out to play?

why can't I type right today

Maybe your left went right and that screwed up your plight?

will there be toys in the 

In the what? Don't leave me hanging like an un-snip snipped mutt.

my grandma says profanity

Mine does too. Who knew?

horses eat hay and cows

He needs new facts. Maybe Adam will do some horse acts.

ride the pony tail express

Long hair is fine. Chewed on my the feline.

in for a penny in for a donut

A cop joke? Use it and you may choke.

make a face and slap it

That would hurt a bit.I'll just watch you slap your stupid shit.

And the winner for fifty you all may find nifty. Or you may have to scrub your brain. At least there is no visual pain. I wouldn't do that to you. Plus, I don't want to search it out at my zoo.

Scrubbed dicks raw for cold cash
Hmm, is that a nifty trick for some lass? Ouch, is all I can say to that pass. Even if I am snip snip you will never ever get a scrubbing trip. Is cold cash better than luke warm cash? Either way mine takes a dash. Have you ever tried the above? Doesn't it scream love? Yeah, screams more like a psycho lass. If that is your thing, stay far far away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Useless Thing Still Given A Ring!

Did you know that many countries have given pennies the heave ho? Wowee, that must mean things really went to shit you know. We can't not have a penny for your thoughts. We just need lots. Err umm, nope. Maybe the US should finally yank out the rope.

Pennies are great.
Idioms are first rate.
That we sure know.
Already gave that a go.

Pennies are worth one cent.
Duh, does your brain have a dent?
Are you saying that to me?
Thinking it at your sea?

But guess what?
They must be made by a mutt.
They cost more than one cent to make.
Hmmm, need a double take?

One cent costs more than one cent.
Damn, whoever made that has a dent.
Let's keep things that cost more to make than what they are worth.
That oh so very great knowledge should be spread across Earth.

Whoopsy, other countries got a grip.
They let the penny rip.
Saving some dough with ease.
Boy, was that a breeze.

But wait, there is a penny brigade.
Their mandate is to never let the penny fade.
Nope, can't have that.
Some have brains of scat.

Oh and we can't give them the heave ho.
We need to fill space in a news show.
That is right one and all.
Some days there are no shootings to give a call.

So we need to go throw pennies on the ground.
We love to hear their clanging sound.
Then we film and watch as people go by.
They don't pick up pennies when they catch their eye.

Woweee, that is first rate news.
How can such a story lose?
It has only been done 1000 times before.
What's one more encore.

And there is one other reason.
We surely can't commit penny treason.
People need them so they can throw them in the trash.
Garbage workers need a tip in cash.

Pfffft, do you pick pennies up off the ground? I had to give this a go when an article was found. All the reasons the penny won't die south of the border. Hmm, which is the lamest of that order? I'm not sure what would take the cake. But a penny millionaire they could make. Estimated to be millions of pennies in landfills. Go digging and you could have millionaire thrills. A disease may also come to pass. Those landfills are far too germy for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Little Brick Won't Do The Trick!

The cat has to clarify here and there because there seem to be nuts that aren't aware. They try what they see in a movie and think it grand. Idiot humans across the land.


Why are you so brain dead? We're you hit square in the head? Did you enjoy that falling brick?Nope, as it killed you some slick.
What about that car?You bounced really far.Or maybe you did not.Either way, by getting hit you'll rot.
You won't get up and walk away,Like it is just any other day.So enjoy that speeding bus,I'm sure no one will make a fuss.
Oh, and if you take up hacking,You're skills may sure be lacking.For many random key strokes hit,Won't help you one little bit.
You'll need to learn to code.Not go all actor mode,And letting your fingers fly.Hitting random buttons is a lie.
Oh, and jumping from a roof,Will be a rather big goof.You won't get up and walk away,No matter what movies may say.
There will be a mighty fall,You'll end up in a stall.Or would that be a drawer?Either way, you give the coroner a chore.
And a punch to the face,May seem like a fun embrace.But after one or three,Or however many comes to thee,
You won't heal fast,The pain will surely last.May even knock out some teeth,But hey, you'll get a fancy wreath.
It will say you're dead.Like taking a brick to the head.So unless that is your wish,I'd recommend the real life dish.
There you go. The cat just saved humans everywhere today at his show. Do you ever try what you see on TV? I hope not at your sea. Unless it is one of those cooking show things or maybe how to tie knots in strings. Other than that you may want to take a pass. You can trust my non brick throwing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Okay, I'll Show If You Must Know!

The cat got asked once again by some other person at our den. What was I asked once more? Something we already covered at my shore. Why don't you have Facebook? Ugg, but let's give our day a look.

First we awoke.
I jumped on that Pat bloke.
He had such a great dream.
I jumped in a place that made him scream.

Now on with day.
I have to share all, okay?
I can't miss a thing,
Or that canary may sing.

Sing for more blatant useless crap.
Boy, are many Facebook users a sap.
There is my thought for the day.
Now I'm digging in the litter tray.

One turd, two turd, three turd, four.
I buried it and then took a pee tour.
I didn't bury that though.
And now, away I go.

I ate some food.
Yeah, I'm rude.
I didn't share.
But I don't care.

I played with Cass.
She's a cranky lass.
She scratched my ear.
All I got is oh dear.

Won't you show sympathy for me?
Come on, create a sympathy tree.
I posted it to show you all.
Show sympathy on my wall.

And don't forget to like.
Like it or I'll strike.
Whoops, falling into the old habit.
Been there, done that, dagnabbit.

Blogger doesn't think dagnabbit is a word.
Isn't that just absurd?
It was so crazy I had to share.
Aren't you wiser for it at your lair?

I'm going to take a nap.
That's all that's on tap.
Boy, my nap was great.
This sharing thing is first rate.

Pfffffft is all I have left to say. Do you share stupid shit on Facebook at your bay? If you share when you go to the loo, sorry, but there is no help for you. That is the closest to Facebook I will ever get here. So the askers can stick it in their ear. And if that doesn't work I have another perk. Find some sand and pound it up your center mass. Dagnabbit, I'm such a crass little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

S Comes To Play Here Today!

You'd think we were back at the a to z for S has come to play with thee. Why is S here you say? It is because S wants to hit replay. Or maybe not. Just follow the plot.

S for what?
I'm a nut.
So S for sty?
Hate that in the eye.

S for stew?
Blah at my zoo.
Keep it and stew.
Stew over stew for you.

Are you stewing?
That brain brewing?
S for stimulation?
That needs no narration.

Even if you go gutter.
S is for stutter.
A stimulating stutter.
Boy, can you mutter.

S for snap.
My brain in a trap?
Damn, I've snapped.
Am I trapped?

Trapped and sedated.
That leave you elated?
Stimulated to sedated.
Maybe S was mated.

S mated with T,
And U came to be.
Hmm that could go deep.
Did in your brain it seep?

S is for stunt.
Did you just grunt?
Yeah, this rhyme is a stunt.
Hey, at least I didn't bunt.

Have you guessed yet?
I have a safe bet.
You think S is for shit.
Well you are close to it.

S is for news.
Whoopsy, you lose.
Never guessed that, did you?
Come on, admit it to be true.

Why is S for news? Because there is nothing new about paying the news dues. So you take the new out and what is left about? That would be S. See, it makes sense better than your guess. But when you make S = shit. You've got it by pretty much every bit. So you were sorta right in a way if you guessed S = shit at your bay. Watching any S lately that tries to dumb down the mass? It can all kiss what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.