Pat Hatt's Blog, page 101

Melt Away Those On Display!

 
The cat is back,Back at my shack.To be back wouldn't I have to go?Damned if I know.
Though I do.So damned at my zoo? Damn, need to watch those words.Whoops, how about them birds?
Yeah, on with it.As here we sit.I'm sitting, are you?Bet more than a few.
Insecurity is the name.Isn't that word lame?Who needs it?Hey, gives a rhyming fit.
Want it gone?Easy with no con.Just let it melt.Screw the hand dealt.
Frosty is toast.He sure can't boast.He went down under.Whoops, the sun did plunder.
Now he's a puddle.Around him kiddies huddle.He just wanted to see a kangaroo.One that wouldn't steal his shoe.
He came, he saw, he died.The poor kiddies cried.The kangaroo hopped away,All went on with their day.
Wow, that was depressing.Is that what you're guessing?A mythical snowman died. Pfft screw the depressing ride.
Melt like mythical him.Insecurity gone on a whim.Then a new hand can be dealt.For you skipped folding and went with melt.
Wasn't that wise of me? Hmmm yeah, I'm a bit crazy at my sea. But there could be something in there. At least I didn't repeat the fart one at my lair. Look! I used the new badge too. I guess that means this was the first post written when that came due. Could also mean I'm a tad slow or too lazy to make the other one go. We'll go with the first one of the mass. That is much better sounding to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

An I Know It Friendly Bit!

The cat was here and there, heck the cat was anywhere, and I hear this time and time again. I'm sure you have at your den. It is not hard to spot. It seems to be a familiar plot.

You were where?
They get in your hair.
You did what?
They're right up your butt.

I've done that.
They chew the fat.
Yap on and on like they know,
When really full of crow.

You could say that,
And they'd still chew the fat.
I've eaten crow before.
They'd say it at their shore.

But then there is more,
More to the chore.
Yeah, it's a chore to listen to.
Rather go watch a mutt eat doo doo.

For these people are already full of shit.
I may as well watch a dog show it.
Then I can say I've seen that too.
Isn't that something you want to do?

These nuts would.
As well they should.
They have to have done it.
Wait! There is the other fit.

My friend has done that.
They chew more fat.
No wonder they are wide,
As they take you for a ride.

I have a friend like that.
They are where it's at.
I have a friend like that.
They aren't where it's at.

The need to agree.
A friend or me me me.
To outshine with a friend,
Why is that a trend?

A nut on the loose?
Bet they even humped a moose.
Maybe they threw in a goose,
As they talk out their caboose.

You have to know a few like that. They are everywhere with brains of scat. They have seen it and done it all. They must be immortal at their hall. Them and their friend stash. Think they even have friends after away they dash? Pfffft is all the cat can say as I ignore and go about my day. I do leave them a little gas. That is all they get though from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Don't Bank On The Blank!

Last year people went bat shit crazy because Star Bucks was hazy. Yeah, no Christmas on the side. Woweee, that is something to talk about far and wide. But the cat will join in. We don't want a repeat spin.

Look at you,
Christmas in view,
Can't say another thing.
Nope, just tunes you sing.

Forget the rest.
Christmas has to be the best.
No others holidays.
Christmas just pays.

Happy holidays is even bad,
At least to some at their pad.
Can't have that.
Not even from a rat.

Look, it's a red shirt.
With you I can't flirt.
You are wearing red and it's blank.
Go get hit by a tank.

Oh my, a red towel.
That makes me howl.
It has no Christmas pic.
You are such a dick.

Some red shoes.
Those sing the blues.
They don't even have an elf.
You should be ashamed of yourself.

A red painted house.
I curse you and your mouse.
That is sooooo wrong.
I hope you get crushed by King Kong.

Look at that red car.
My, that can take you far.
I hope it goes right into a ditch,
You Christmas hating bitch.

You have red undies.
Maybe even red fundies.
Both is such a shame.
No sex you will claim.

Red makes me see red.
Red with no Christmas bed.
You must clearly say Christmas only.
Who cares if other holidays get lonely.

Pfffffft says the cat. Wowee, only red where one is at. That is oh so bad. Let's rant about it from pad to pad. Being forced to say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas is dumb. Should be able to say what you want, chum. But whining because of the color of a cup makes the cat realize there is more brains in a pup. I better go hide after this rhyming pass because I've been sitting and now I have a red little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The I Is Ever So Spry!

Maybe you thought I meant eye? Your eye can be spry as it gives reading a try. A confusing read from me may come to be. It could hurt the brain of thee. We used them all. Get it yet at my hall?

Here is the cat.
I am where I'm at.
That much is true.
A least true to you.

Maybe true to me.
True as can be.
Me and I and you.
We may as well go to the zoo.

I did whatever alone.
Whoops, hold the phone.
Don't you hold a phone anyway?
Not like you throw it in the bay.

Anyway, hold that thing.
Let the thing ring.
For two did it.
I wasn't the only bit.

It was a we.
We made it come to be.
But nope I used I.
Maybe me was given a try.

Me, me, me.
Look! Times three.
There was no you.
No we came due.

It was said.
Put to bed.
Now we is I.
I told a lie.

Was done by I,
But we did fly.
The we beat the I.
We are now upon high.

I was what did it.
But we took the hit.
Now we is the true.
Even if I had the only clue.

I did that in the end,
But you bucked the trend.
You got the blame.
I relinquished the claim.

Get where the cat went? Or did you gent bent? As in brain out of whack. That has to suck at your shack. Don't you love how I can become we or you or me? We can become I or you or me to be. Vice versa and flip flop. People tend to believe where the buck does stop. Or maybe they believe he or she who shouts in the loudest mass. It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Intruders Galore With The Same Encore!

So as we gave the month's notice a while back and prepared to move from our shack, which we may or may not have written about by now, intruders galore came with a raised eyebrow.

You have cats?
Asked the dingbats.
Like they didn't see us run away.
Blind as a bat I say.

But there is no smell.
Like what the hell?
Pat has OCD.
He cleans the litter after we pee.

That cat house is huge.
No shit, stooge.
Humans are dumb.
Stating the obvious and then some.

How many cats are here?
We heard that come near.
Heard it more than once.
Three times from the same dunce.

That cat house is a palace.
What is this? Reruns of Dallas?
At least it beats a remake.
Sadly, there was many a double take.

You have two cat towers?
Idiocy must come in showers.
There was two in sight.
So two took flight.

That is one big litter box.
They may or may not have got litter on their socks.
Serves them right we say.
It was the month of obvious statements at our bay.

Do the cats use it?
Nah, they squat and have a shit.
They do it anywhere it all.
Pffft and I'm a dog at my hall.

That is a mighty large house for the cats.
And back to the repeat dingbats.
Can I go take a nap?
Gotta love, not really, the repeat crap.

And what about the place?
What did they say to it's embrace?
Why that one they all repeated too.
There isn't much of a view.

Really, that is all 99.99% of them said about the place. The rest of the time they were taking about us in our space. Don't you think they'd want to know about it and not about the big litter box in which we shit? We ran away most of the time. Once I stalked them and they thought that a crime. I gave a little growl and they stayed clear, quite afraid of my rhyming rear. I like when that comes to pass. Can't beat a ruling little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

By Hook Or By Look?

The cat was out and about and then I didn't hear a shout. Nope, I didn't hear a one. At least until a look was done. Pffft is all I can say. All I wanted to do was be on my way.

Why didn't you save?
A path I did pave.
I gave you the look.
The look of the crook.

The look of the look?
Beats me at my nook.
A look can say a lot.
Each look has its own plot.

A look of despair.
Get out of my hair.
A look of, Oh Shit!
Sure isn't a hit.

A look just to look.
Looky Lous on book.
A look up and down.
Are we into yes town?

The look of shame?
Look at that claim.
Look at me.
I'm not looking at thee.

That is a shame.
A missed look claim.
A look I missed
The look turned pissed.

Then came the words.
Rather watch birds.
The look was still there,
One that said beware.

My ears may hurt.
Blood won't spurt.
But back way just in case.
Don't let them near your face.

Looks can say a lot.
My, aren't they hot?
Or maybe not.
Catch on to this plot?

Look! I have to go.
Why? Damned if I know.
It looks like something to do.
Look, it has to be done, you.

Ever get ranted at from the look? The look in which you never partook? Would that be partake? Bah, beats a germy handshake. They gave the cat a look and wanted help at their nook. An annoying person was yapping away. So instead of saying "see ya" at their bay, they gave me a look. Pffft I had to go write a new book. But they can still look at the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Time Of Year For The Cheer!

The cat is here and I'll give you a chocolate calendar to fear. Warning, may not smell well after a while. Hmm, would that be rather vile? Do you get my drift? My, you are swift.

The 1st is back,
Back on the attack.
A 1st not like another.
This first has a brother.

It's a magic day.
Pffft so they say.
Who are they?
What the hey.

We'll get there.
Time to spare.
31 days or so,
Depending on when given a go.

You could read today.
Maybe tomorrow at play.
Would that be a replay?
You may be too busy either way.

Back on the attack,
A literal one with a smack.
Steal that marked down thing,
You won't have a happy fling.

Hands will be flung.
Kids pop a lung.
Screaming, I want that.
Some plastic scat.

Trees get chopped.
Birds get dropped.
The Tabbies would like that.
Unless they showed up where they are at.

Electric companies smile,
They are cheery by a mile.
Glad for all the lights.
Take them to new heights.

Elbows are flung.
Kids pop the other lung.
Everything is packed.
You car may even get attacked.

Bad parking galore.
That can be a chore.
Round and round you go.
Where you find a spot, damned if I know.

Isn't this month so great? The holidays are first rate. All the crazies out at one time. That can even scare a mime. The cat is glad he has nowhere to go. I'd make many a foe. I might even run over a toe. Otherwise I'll leave that to Tarsier Man to stoop that low. Ready to be oh so cheery in mass? I'll watch from far away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Need To Read?

The cat has seen another trend that is about. People need to hear others shout. Or at least read it before they ever do the shit. Not sure what I mean with my spree? You'll see!

I can't save dough.
Oh friggin no.
It is such a shame.
I need someone with fame.

101 ways to save.
100 ways to avoid a financial grave.
50 ways to save more.
101 ways to save the encore.

Wowwee, now I know.
I can save some dough.
I just can't spend.
On these gurus I sure depend.

My house is a mess.
That I will confess.
But how do I get it clean?
Isn't there advice that is so serene?

De-clutter now!
101 cleaning tips the will wow.
Tricks to a clean home.
Cleaning when in Rome.

Wowweee, now I know.
I just have to clean my show.
Clean and throw stuff away.
Now I can have a nice day.

I can't get a date.
Where is my mate?
I really need one.
How can this be done?

101 dating tips!
Dating on cruise ships.
101 more dating tips.
Dating words for your lips.

Woweee, now I know.
I just have to give it a go.
Who knew all you had to do was speak?
A mate I can now seek.

One for that and this.
Read and don't miss.
101 ways to help with anything at all.
Read away and have a ball.

Who knew I needed to read 50,000 words so that I can de-clutter? Maybe my brain had a stutter? Who knew I needed to read 50,000 more to talk to a date? Damn, I hope that advice doesn't come too late. Hmmm didn't I already know all of this? Do you need someone to tell you such bliss? Wowwweeee, if yes was answered by thee. Maybe I should make one come to be. 101 ways to get rid of that gas. It could be a huge hit for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Burn A Bridge Just A Smidge?

The cat hears it time and time again. I seem to hear a lot at my den. Maybe I just notice it. Can you notice and hear at the same time each fit? Maybe not if some spit when they talk. That can sure make you balk.

Don't burn bridges.
They may ignite ridges.
Bridges may fall down.
Like the one in London town.

Isn't that a city?
It burnt down, pity.
Wait, it's still there?
I've been lied to at my lair.

Can bridges even burn?
Maybe ones from which they don't earn.
They being the greedy sobs.
They do whatever they please.

Like covered ones made of wood.
I think that is understood.
But metal ones burn?
Wow, some heat you must churn.

Then again a rope is cheaper.
You could be a Tarzan creeper.
Dress in a loin cloth and swing.
A rope will get you across the thing.

Or just hop a boat.
One with or without a goat.
Get a motor so you don't have to row.
But then if the later your muscles may grow.

Or learn how to swim.
The sea/river/whatever may be grim,
But you'll get there with no time to spare.
You also may shrink down there.

Hey, it had to be said.
I know it popped into your head.
Just blame the pool.
That seems to be cool.

Could learn to fly.
Like in a plane in the sky.
Seems wasteful to do though.
Plus you'd need lots of dough.

Do bridges burn?
That had to return.
Maybe those imaginary ones,
They can burn by the tons.

All from a burning bridge. I guess they can burn a smidge. But metal on fire? Yeah, the burning would expire. Burn any bridges at your sea? Did the fire bug-ness give you glee? Wait, fake bridges you say? Burn any of those at your bay? Can be all fire bug with that pass. Although that is probably safer for all and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Thousand Miles Adds To The Piles!

The cat has to promote a new non rhyming book. That is so mean of Pat to do at my nook. But then he did write 75K words in 11 days with one hand. Yeah, bragging a bit in our land. This was probably one of the funniest he has ever done too as a new novel came due.

Click Here For A Peer!
Will and Ray Stinger are two brothers that have not seen each other in over a decade. Will lives a simple life with his family and wants nothing to do with his self absorbed, reality TV star brother. But the two are brought together by the passing of their Uncle Frank who left them what could be the best gift of all, an ugly shoe pendant.

When the pendant breaks Will and Ray each take half and go their separate ways, suspecting to never see each other again. The next day all of that changes as they wake up in each other's body. Through the pendant they quickly experience life from the other's point of view. Not wanting to waste any time, they search for answers and soon learn that the only way to reverse it is to walk a thousand miles.

Will, Ray, Will's two young kids, Sarah and Oliver, and their dog, Sammy, set off across America to reverse what they believe to be a curse. And through one giant mishap, they now must do it while avoiding law enforcement, crazy Ray Stinger fans, gun toting hillbillies, Ruth and her master race and the many other colorful characters they meet along the way.
Sound interesting to you? A mix and match of two. Body swapping and a buddy road trip. Don't think anywhere that sail did ship. But who knows indeed. This idea popped in and sure wanted to take seed. So away Pat went with it. And it is more adult as one character is a douchebag and swears a bit. But that may end up less as the story does progress. I guess you will have to see what comes to pass as another non rhyming novel comes from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.