The Lines Blur With An If I Were!

What one could do when they don't rhyme on cue. Or rather just rhyme I suppose. If you try and make the cat do anything he will bite your toes. Or pull your armpit hair. Hey, I'm not above it at my lair.

If I weren't a writer,
Maybe I'd be a fighter.
Putting Cassie in her place,
As around the home I race.

If I weren't a rhymer,
Maybe I'd be Slimer.
Hey, I can play a ghost.
I'm just too busy making this post.

If I weren't a cat,
Maybe I'd be a rat.
Nah, I'd rather be a mutt.
Nah, neither make the cut.

If I were a dentist,
I may have had to apprenticed.
But at least I'd be rich.
Hmm nasty mouth would make me twitch.

If I were a vet,
I'd be a happy pet.
Nothing would go up my ass,
I'd never let thermometers trespass.

If I were an actor,
I'd probably own a tractor.
Run over all the crazies after me.
It would be slow so they'd live, you see.

If I were a politician,
I'd be on one big mission.
The mission to lie and swindle.
Until re-election then that love I'd rekindle.

If I were a mechanic,
I'd leave all in a panic.
Were those tires supposed to stay on?
Beats me, I'll fix it at dawn.

If I were a plumber,
I'd sure enjoy summer.
Then my ass crack wouldn't get cold,
As I bent under the sink ever so bold.

If I were...screw that.
I'll stick with rhyming cat.
A much better way to be.
I'll stick with just being me.

Ever think about the if you were? As there are sure many jobs that could make one purr. Also many many more that would still really bore. So much one can do it is no wonder so may want reincarnation to be true. Maybe someone even wants to be a singing bass? Hey, you will only be judged a little by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.