Fake Beluga :) > Fake Beluga :)'s Quotes

“Wheeee! This is so much fun!” yelled Maky as she zipped by a slime block. I laughed. “Yeah, it’s kinda fun!” But then… Bam! Another slime cube to my face.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob 39 (An Unofficial Minecraft Book)

“Uh, don’t worry, General, the monsters are going to go away.” With hopeful eyes, I looked up at the guard. “They are?” Raymond nodded. “Yes, sir, in about five hours when the sun rises.” I slapped my forehead.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob 43 (An Unofficial Minecraft Book)

“The elder guardian swung his tail at Pingu and then- Hey!”
― MiniCraft Man, Diary of a Nooby Villager

“Aren’t you worried about mobs attacking you in the night?” said Dave. “Nah,” said Biff. “Our old leader, Bogg, used to worry about that, but not me.” “What happened to him?” asked Poker. “He was slain by mobs in the night,” said Biff.”
― Dave Villager, The Legend of Dave the Villager 2: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Hunting them down with a sword is perfectly safe.” “What happened to Bock?” asked Porkins. “He was slain by endermen,” said Boff.”
― Dave Villager, The Legend of Dave the Villager 2: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Hey Porkins,” said Carl, “you reckon you could hit that cactus over there? You’re a good shot with an arrow, but how about pearl throwing?” “Watch and see,” grinned Porkins. “Your old pal Porkins is a terrific shot—even if I do say so myself!” He threw the pearl and, true to his word, it hit the cactus. Porkins grinned, but then suddenly he was gone—disappearing into thin air. “Where is he?!” said Dave. Then he heard a familiar voice nearby: “Owwww!” Somehow Porkins was on top of the cactus. He jumped off, clutching his behind. Carl was laughing hysterically. “What happened?” said Dave, feeling very confused. “Throwing the pearls makes you teleport,” said Carl, wiping away a tear of laughter. “I found out the other day when I accidentally dropped one.” “You little blighter,” said Porkins, coming back over. He was pulling cactus needles out of his back.”
― Dave Villager, The Legend of Dave the Villager 2: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Arrrghh!!!” said Carl. “Arrrghh!!!” said Dave. “Oh my!” said Porkins.”
― Dave Villager, The Legend of Dave the Villager 2: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“What’s a hacker? Someone who hacks stuff?” “Yeah, basically.” “Um, I’m more of a smasher, because my main weapon does blunt damage. I guess Alex would be more of a hacker since she uses a sword.” “What? What are you talking about?” asked The101greatone with a confused look on his face. “Uh, what are you talking about?” “Er… okay, maybe you’re not hackers. A hacker wouldn’t say something stupid like that.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob: A New World (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) (Book 1) (Steve the Noob in a New World

“Alex followed me over to some trees. Then I said to her, “We went from being leaders of a huge army to wood gatherers, huh?”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob: A New World (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) (Book 1) (Steve the Noob in a New World

“You try swimming without arms and tell me if you’re ok,” grumbled Carl.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 3: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“What?!” snapped Alicia. “I’ll have his head!” “You’re too late,” said Carl. “His head’s blown up, along with the rest of him.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 3: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Thank you for all your help,” Princess Alicia said to Dave. “I’m sorry if I was a bit mean to you. You’re a real hero.” She kissed him on the cheek, and Dave went bright red. “Er, thank you,” he muttered.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 3: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“I’d love to biff that smug face of his, thought Dave bitterly. Biff him right on the nose!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 4: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Heh,” grinned one of the villagers. “He’s given up.” “The only thing that’s given up,” said Carl, “is your FACE!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 4: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“I’m in a danger zone again!” wailed Colin. “Why can’t I ever catch a break?!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 4: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“If it weren’t for you, we’d all be zombies,” said the mayor. “Is there anything we can do to repay you?” “Er, you could lend us three horses,” said Dave. “No,” said the mayor. “We won’t lend you three horses, you can have three horses. The best horses in our stables.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 6: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Ten thousand?” gasped Dave. “How can we ever defeat him?” “I told you,” said Future Dave. “You cut off the head of the creeper and the body dies.” “Hey!” said Carl. “Sorry,” said Future Dave. “I meant, if you slay the Robot King, his army will power down. That’s why we must keep our presence a secret from him for as long as possible.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 6: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“There must be another way,” said Dave. “There is,” said Tom. “But it’s not pretty.” “Don’t worry,” said Carl. “Neither is Dave.” “In fact,” said Tom, “it’s downright ugly.” “So is Dave,” said Carl.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 6: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Long ago, before time began, there was only the Void. So it is said.” “So it is said,” repeated the other illagers. “From the Void the world was born,” she continued, “and the first hero was spawned. So it is said.” “So it is said,” they repeated once more. “But unbeknown to the hero, another was spawned: the hero’s dark twin. Just as the hero existed to create, the twin existed to destroy, and to help him with his dark deeds the twin spawned four children. So it is said.” “So it is said.” “The greatest of these children was Spidroth, the spider queen. But such was her greatness that Herobrine, the dark twin, feared his daughter would replace him, so he cast her down, trapping her in the endless void beneath the bedrock. There she sleeps, her body trapped but her spirit free; awaiting the day when a host strong enough will appear.” “Let me guess,” said Carl, “so it is said?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 7: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“I’m begging for mercy now,” said Carl, “please stop with the preaching. You’re boring me to tears.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 7: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Have you given them all names yet?” Dave asked Carl. “Well,” said Carl, “the first wolf I tamed was called Bark, so I thought I’d give them all names along a similar theme. So there’s Bark 2, Bark 3, Bark 4, Bark 5, Bark 6, Bark 7, Bark 8, Bark 9, Bark 10, Bark 11, Bark 12, Bark 13, Bark 14 and Alan.” “Alan?” said Dave. “Named after my uncle,” said Carl. “He blew himself up when he was frightened by a sheep. He was a bit of an idiot.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 10: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Um, maybe…. Mayor Birchwood: the mayor who destroyed the city to save the city,” suggested Simon. “Simon, you genius, you’ve done it again!” said Mayor Birchwood.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 10: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Stop blabbering and let us in, fool!” shouted Carl. “We have no time to waste with the likes of you!” “AT ONCE, SIR,” said the robot. “OPEN THE GATES!” The gates swung open. “That was pretty good,” Dave whispered to Carl as they rode into the city. “I just tried to act more like Spidroth,” Carl whispered back.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 20: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“What can I get for you chaps?” a pigman in a chefs hat asked them. “We have rabbit stew, mushroom stew or baked po—” “BAKED POTATO!” said Carl. “Um, ok,” said the pigman. “Er, and for you two?” “Rabbit stew for me, please,” said Dave. “And I want the head of my father on a golden plate,” said Spidroth darkly, staring at Heroprime.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 20: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Your allies will lose faith in you if they see your fear, and your enemies will feel more confident. Keep your fear buried deep down inside, sister, because that is where it belongs.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 20: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“And then I’m going to find Herobrine and kick his butt,” said Alex. “I’m going to kick his butt… to DEATH.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 20: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Can you use a bow?” Dave asked Jean-Cowphio. “Can I?” said Jean-Cowphio. “You’re asking me, Jean ‘J-Meister’ Cowphio, if I can use a bow?” “Yes,” said Dave. “No,” said Jean-Cowphio. “I can’t.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 23: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Yo it’s Jean-Cowphio and my rhymes are hot, “Serve them up to your gran, put them in a teapot. “If you think your beats are better, I’m here to tell you that they’re not, “Now you’ve heard my words, and baby, baby that’s your lot.” “Idiot,” muttered Carl sleepily.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 23: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Uh, uh. This one goes out to the haters. You think you can keep Jean-Cowphio down? No way. I rise like baked bread. I’ve got higher durability than an enchanted diamond pickaxe. I’m about to drop beats on you like a—”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 24: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Everyone who can’t fight, get inside,” shouted Dave. “Anyone who wants to fight but doesn’t have a weapon, come to me and I’ll give you one.” “What about those of us that have weapons but don’t want to fight?” asked Jean-Cowphio.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 24: An Unofficial Minecraft Book