Tony Fahkry's Blog, page 50
June 26, 2014
The Unexamined Life
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates
The Search for Meaning
Many of us sail through life impervious to the choices we make each day. Such decisions are often made without even second guessing ourselves. We discover that many of these choices are programmed, that is they are devoid of conscious intent. As time goes by we may pause and reflect how such choices were made, perhaps realising that we have not been as present after all.
Socrates, the Greek philosopher and founder of Western Philosophy coined the phrase, “The unexamined life is not worth living” circa 470 – 399 BC. There have been countless explorations of this passage over time. Whilst I do not wish to analyse the phrase in this article, I do however wish to offer my thoughts on how we can live a virtuous life through regular self-examination.
Self-awareness is one of the key attributes humans possess, which distinguishes us from the animal kingdom. The notable mirror test developed by the psychologist Gordon Gallup Jnr. is used an indicator of awareness in animals. In this experiment, animals are presented with an image of themselves reflected back via a mirror. If they recognise the image reflected back (often a marking is made on the animal to determine if they identify it), then it is deemed that they are self-aware. Interestingly, children tend to fail this test until they are at least 1.5 to 2 years old.
Therefore self-awareness is the bedrock upon which we identify with our beingness. It allows us to interact with others and our environment through our experience of the world. Being self-aware not only attributes an awareness of self, it signifies an understanding of one’s personality, i.e. strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs and motivation.
In contrast, there are many people who sail through life oblivious to their behaviour. They rarely learn from their mistakes, since they are programmed from early childhood to disregard the impact of their actions. It might be said that their self-awareness is limited. Such people are unaware of the mental and emotional prejudices accrued over time. It has been said that we spend the first half of our life accumulating knowledge and the second half letting go of that knowledge.
Devoid of our capacity for self-examination, it may seem as though life is acting upon us as we fall victim to the forces of life. Alternatively as we let go of the distorted thinking, we appreciate that as free choice agents acting within the container of free will, we are indeed co-creating our life’s circumstances.
“There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self-examination.” - Mencius
Awakening the Authentic Self
It posits favourably that since we have free will, we should strive to make decisions that are in line with our best interests. Our aim should be to uphold the essential virtues of human existence: wisdom, justice, fortitude, self-control, love, positive attitude, hard work, integrity, gratitude and humility. Authenticity then is used to describe the act of living in congruency with our highest nature. Rather than abide by our external environment, we become blissfully aware of our inner nature as we strive to uphold the human virtues.
Self-examination in this context becomes an expression of knowing oneself. Fundamentally, our aim at this level is to overcome our mistakes by refusing to invite them into the future. Two vital ingredients then are required for self-mastery: personal growth and self-awareness. Much like brushing our teeth to keep them clean, attending to our personal growth on a daily basis is like exercise for our mental well-being. Moreover, self-awareness coupled with personal growth may be akin to a gardener pulling weeds while simultaneously harvesting new crop. In time, not only have we cultivated an entire garden devoid of weeds, we have simultaneously allowed our authentic self to emerge.
In my recent book, The Power to Navigate Life, I invite the reader to consider two ideas dutifully essential to the mastery of life. I affirm that you are either Navigating Life or Parked. A Parked state may be characterised by the metaphysical relationship one experiences while in a motor vehicle when stationary: stopped, stuck, enclosed, stagnant, not moving and trapped. Navigating Life on the other hand denotes a movement of outward energy: expansive, moving freely, navigating, exploring, discovering and expressive.
These two states represent the metaphysical relationship we have with ourselves at certain times of our life. As we learn to master life and reclaim our internal state, we move from a Parked state to Navigating Life. It must be said that even while you may be Parked, it serves as a valuable opportunity for self-reflection so you do not carry those mistakes into the future.
A deep and meaningful life is only worth living if we become self-aware and strive to lead an authentic life. Through regular self-examination we come to appreciate that there are no rights or wrongs, only consequences. In order to reduce the likelihood of experiencing untoward outcomes, we must connect with our deepest self which is the essence of our authentic nature.
The Search for Meaning
Many of us sail through life impervious to the choices we make each day. Such decisions are often made without even second guessing ourselves. We discover that many of these choices are programmed, that is they are devoid of conscious intent. As time goes by we may pause and reflect how such choices were made, perhaps realising that we have not been as present after all.
Socrates, the Greek philosopher and founder of Western Philosophy coined the phrase, “The unexamined life is not worth living” circa 470 – 399 BC. There have been countless explorations of this passage over time. Whilst I do not wish to analyse the phrase in this article, I do however wish to offer my thoughts on how we can live a virtuous life through regular self-examination.
Self-awareness is one of the key attributes humans possess, which distinguishes us from the animal kingdom. The notable mirror test developed by the psychologist Gordon Gallup Jnr. is used an indicator of awareness in animals. In this experiment, animals are presented with an image of themselves reflected back via a mirror. If they recognise the image reflected back (often a marking is made on the animal to determine if they identify it), then it is deemed that they are self-aware. Interestingly, children tend to fail this test until they are at least 1.5 to 2 years old.
Therefore self-awareness is the bedrock upon which we identify with our beingness. It allows us to interact with others and our environment through our experience of the world. Being self-aware not only attributes an awareness of self, it signifies an understanding of one’s personality, i.e. strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs and motivation.
In contrast, there are many people who sail through life oblivious to their behaviour. They rarely learn from their mistakes, since they are programmed from early childhood to disregard the impact of their actions. It might be said that their self-awareness is limited. Such people are unaware of the mental and emotional prejudices accrued over time. It has been said that we spend the first half of our life accumulating knowledge and the second half letting go of that knowledge.
Devoid of our capacity for self-examination, it may seem as though life is acting upon us as we fall victim to the forces of life. Alternatively as we let go of the distorted thinking, we appreciate that as free choice agents acting within the container of free will, we are indeed co-creating our life’s circumstances.
“There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self-examination.” - Mencius
Awakening the Authentic Self
It posits favourably that since we have free will, we should strive to make decisions that are in line with our best interests. Our aim should be to uphold the essential virtues of human existence: wisdom, justice, fortitude, self-control, love, positive attitude, hard work, integrity, gratitude and humility. Authenticity then is used to describe the act of living in congruency with our highest nature. Rather than abide by our external environment, we become blissfully aware of our inner nature as we strive to uphold the human virtues.
Self-examination in this context becomes an expression of knowing oneself. Fundamentally, our aim at this level is to overcome our mistakes by refusing to invite them into the future. Two vital ingredients then are required for self-mastery: personal growth and self-awareness. Much like brushing our teeth to keep them clean, attending to our personal growth on a daily basis is like exercise for our mental well-being. Moreover, self-awareness coupled with personal growth may be akin to a gardener pulling weeds while simultaneously harvesting new crop. In time, not only have we cultivated an entire garden devoid of weeds, we have simultaneously allowed our authentic self to emerge.
In my recent book, The Power to Navigate Life, I invite the reader to consider two ideas dutifully essential to the mastery of life. I affirm that you are either Navigating Life or Parked. A Parked state may be characterised by the metaphysical relationship one experiences while in a motor vehicle when stationary: stopped, stuck, enclosed, stagnant, not moving and trapped. Navigating Life on the other hand denotes a movement of outward energy: expansive, moving freely, navigating, exploring, discovering and expressive.
These two states represent the metaphysical relationship we have with ourselves at certain times of our life. As we learn to master life and reclaim our internal state, we move from a Parked state to Navigating Life. It must be said that even while you may be Parked, it serves as a valuable opportunity for self-reflection so you do not carry those mistakes into the future.
A deep and meaningful life is only worth living if we become self-aware and strive to lead an authentic life. Through regular self-examination we come to appreciate that there are no rights or wrongs, only consequences. In order to reduce the likelihood of experiencing untoward outcomes, we must connect with our deepest self which is the essence of our authentic nature.
June 24, 2014
Fear Is Your Best Friend
“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” - Jim Morrison
A Mind-Made Illusion
In his book Influence Science and Practice, author Robert Cialdini shares a story capturing the transformative essence of fear. In a tribe in southern Africa, the Thonga people hold an annual initiation for young boys prior to becoming a man. A young Thonga boy must endure a series of intense physical challenges before he is admitted to adulthood.
The three-month ritual consists of six major trials: beatings, exposure to cold, thirst, eating of unsavoury foods, punishment and the threat of death. As bizarre as some of these rituals may sound, the young boy emerges a man and in doing so has learned to silence his inner demon – fear.
Whilst the idea of spending three months subjected to mental, emotional and physical hardship might seem harsh, consider that many of these young boys become strong and powerful leaders within their tribes. This story illustrates how fear, despite the brutality of the ritual, can be channelled toward personal growth.
In civilised society fear impairs the lives of many who buy into the notion that fear is real. It was the French philosopher René Descartes who said, “I think therefore I am.” In other words if there are thoughts, there must be a thinker behind the thoughts. Moreover, many people unknowingly buy in to the false premise “If I think fearful thoughts, they must be true.”
You’ve heard it said that fear is an illusion created in the mind. A great deal of what we fear rarely comes to fruition, yet fear seems to predominate our thought landscape. Since fear is a survival instinct which alerts us to impending danger, it only becomes a threat when our thoughts become stuck in a repetitive cycle. When fear rules your life, you are at the mercy of the emotion.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” - Nelson Mandela
Transforming Fear
How can we reframe fear to view it as friend rather than a foe? Firstly appreciate that fear is a feedback mechanism alerting you to forward progress. You are stepping out of your comfort zone and moving into uncharted territory. Rather than oppose fear, embrace it by viewing it as an opportunity to gain new insights as you advance onward. Embrace the fear by observing it as part of the process of evolving. Many people view fear as a brick wall, while others see it as an opportunity to overcome it.
Fear is your best friend since it inspires a call to action. It advises us to avoid that which is deleterious and take affirmative action. Take for example the fear of public speaking which is considered one of people’s greatest fears. The American comedian Jerry Seinfeld offers us the following comedic observation, “According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
In this instance fear forces us to brush up on our speaking skills through rehearsal. Rather than appearing incompetent, fear forces us to show up prepared. As we overcome fear, we not only build character and inner strength, we overcome an impediment on our path to victory. Therefore fear becomes a great teacher, since it provides us with the experience before the lesson.
Reconnecting to the Present Moment
Moreover fear reminds us to stay connected to the present moment. Given that fear is a future occurrence, it allows us to reconnect back to the present moment when our minds wander into the future. We are reminded that all we ever have is contained within the perfection of this moment. There is no need to worry or fear a future which seldom arrives as we hope for. Therefore fear reminds us to let go of the incessant thoughts of an anticipated tomorrow.
It must be stated that we cannot eliminate fear from our lives, not in the way many people believe. We can turn down the volume on fear by not becoming a slave to it. Susan Jeffers’ acclaimed self-help book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway is an appropriate axiom for learning to befriend fear. When faced with the prospect of taming our fears, we are reminded that fear helps us sharpen the sword as it were by making better decisions in lieu of perceived danger. We must have our wits about us as we confront our fears.
Your response to fear provides you with a glimpse into your deeper psyche. Are you continually running away from fear or brave enough to face it head on? Fear is a call toward inner growth and inner freedom. Running away from your fears makes them grow stronger until they overwhelm you. Rather than oppose your fears, approach them with compassion and an open heart. Forgive yourself and others who may have contributed towards your fears.
You might be surprised to learn that a number of our fears are passed down through generations. Wars and hatred stem from the paralysis of fear. First we fear that which we do not understand, then we ultimately go to war with it. If we dislike parts of ourselves, then this becomes a call to make peace with that aspect of our nature.
Ultimately you have a choice – to make peace with fear or allow it to control your life. Hopefully I’ve provided you with some valid points to choose the former. Transcending fear is liberating since it frees you from the self-imposed fortress, which is the illusory mind of fear.
A Mind-Made Illusion
In his book Influence Science and Practice, author Robert Cialdini shares a story capturing the transformative essence of fear. In a tribe in southern Africa, the Thonga people hold an annual initiation for young boys prior to becoming a man. A young Thonga boy must endure a series of intense physical challenges before he is admitted to adulthood.
The three-month ritual consists of six major trials: beatings, exposure to cold, thirst, eating of unsavoury foods, punishment and the threat of death. As bizarre as some of these rituals may sound, the young boy emerges a man and in doing so has learned to silence his inner demon – fear.
Whilst the idea of spending three months subjected to mental, emotional and physical hardship might seem harsh, consider that many of these young boys become strong and powerful leaders within their tribes. This story illustrates how fear, despite the brutality of the ritual, can be channelled toward personal growth.
In civilised society fear impairs the lives of many who buy into the notion that fear is real. It was the French philosopher René Descartes who said, “I think therefore I am.” In other words if there are thoughts, there must be a thinker behind the thoughts. Moreover, many people unknowingly buy in to the false premise “If I think fearful thoughts, they must be true.”
You’ve heard it said that fear is an illusion created in the mind. A great deal of what we fear rarely comes to fruition, yet fear seems to predominate our thought landscape. Since fear is a survival instinct which alerts us to impending danger, it only becomes a threat when our thoughts become stuck in a repetitive cycle. When fear rules your life, you are at the mercy of the emotion.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” - Nelson Mandela
Transforming Fear
How can we reframe fear to view it as friend rather than a foe? Firstly appreciate that fear is a feedback mechanism alerting you to forward progress. You are stepping out of your comfort zone and moving into uncharted territory. Rather than oppose fear, embrace it by viewing it as an opportunity to gain new insights as you advance onward. Embrace the fear by observing it as part of the process of evolving. Many people view fear as a brick wall, while others see it as an opportunity to overcome it.
Fear is your best friend since it inspires a call to action. It advises us to avoid that which is deleterious and take affirmative action. Take for example the fear of public speaking which is considered one of people’s greatest fears. The American comedian Jerry Seinfeld offers us the following comedic observation, “According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
In this instance fear forces us to brush up on our speaking skills through rehearsal. Rather than appearing incompetent, fear forces us to show up prepared. As we overcome fear, we not only build character and inner strength, we overcome an impediment on our path to victory. Therefore fear becomes a great teacher, since it provides us with the experience before the lesson.
Reconnecting to the Present Moment
Moreover fear reminds us to stay connected to the present moment. Given that fear is a future occurrence, it allows us to reconnect back to the present moment when our minds wander into the future. We are reminded that all we ever have is contained within the perfection of this moment. There is no need to worry or fear a future which seldom arrives as we hope for. Therefore fear reminds us to let go of the incessant thoughts of an anticipated tomorrow.
It must be stated that we cannot eliminate fear from our lives, not in the way many people believe. We can turn down the volume on fear by not becoming a slave to it. Susan Jeffers’ acclaimed self-help book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway is an appropriate axiom for learning to befriend fear. When faced with the prospect of taming our fears, we are reminded that fear helps us sharpen the sword as it were by making better decisions in lieu of perceived danger. We must have our wits about us as we confront our fears.
Your response to fear provides you with a glimpse into your deeper psyche. Are you continually running away from fear or brave enough to face it head on? Fear is a call toward inner growth and inner freedom. Running away from your fears makes them grow stronger until they overwhelm you. Rather than oppose your fears, approach them with compassion and an open heart. Forgive yourself and others who may have contributed towards your fears.
You might be surprised to learn that a number of our fears are passed down through generations. Wars and hatred stem from the paralysis of fear. First we fear that which we do not understand, then we ultimately go to war with it. If we dislike parts of ourselves, then this becomes a call to make peace with that aspect of our nature.
Ultimately you have a choice – to make peace with fear or allow it to control your life. Hopefully I’ve provided you with some valid points to choose the former. Transcending fear is liberating since it frees you from the self-imposed fortress, which is the illusory mind of fear.
June 15, 2014
How To Live An Inspired Life
Every morning after a cup of coffee while catching up on the daily news, John retreats to his studio, a small space situated at the rear of his house. This has been John’s ritual for as long as he can remember. As the hours pass, John is completely consumed by painting. It isn't until evening draws near that he soon realises he has been painting for over ten hours with only a break here and there.
Now in his late fifties, John has been painting since his early twenties and has managed to carve out a successful career. His artwork is regularly featured in corporate foyers across the country, not to mention the regular art exhibits and private buyers who flock to buy his work.
John represents one of many artists who are inspired and, more importantly, not afraid to put in the dedicated hours to create masterpieces. Inspiration is the call from the soul to express itself through you. Inspiration is not only confined to the arts, it may express itself in various forms. You may be inspired if you’re a stay-at-home mother tending to your family. Inspiration is not defined by WHAT you do, rather it is defined by the state of being one experiences when inspired.
Inspiration is the expression of creativity and the mind of the universe flowing through you – and it is not exclusive to artists. If you yearn for direction, inspiration may be beckoning. How can you tell the difference between inspiration and happiness, since they both share similarities? Inspiration is characterised by a deep sense of joy and fulfilment. When you are inspired and pursuing your passion, time stands still. You are oblivious to your surroundings.
Those who are inspired find meaning and purpose to their work. They view their purpose as a calling rather than a job or career. Because of this they operate from a higher frequency, allowing the source of their inspiration to flow unimpeded through every cell of their body. Happiness on the other hand is a fleeting experience. You may be happy one moment and sad the next. We might conclude that happiness is ephemeral, bound by the constraints of external reality.
The following points are ways in which to cultivate and nurture inspiration in your daily life. It is worth reiterating that you need not be an artist, musician, dancer, etc. to connect with inspiration. Cooking and sharing a delicious meal with your loved one at the end of a long day may be regarded as an act of inspiration, since it is a calling from the heart.
1. Discover your passion and connect with purpose: What are you most passionate about? What stirs your soul and leaves you daydreaming throughout the day? Those who find passion and purpose report an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, joy and bliss throughout their life. Their spirit is alive. Not only does time stand still, one feels the expression of their soul come alive. Happiness becomes an extension of universal intelligence, which serves as the conduit of this life-force flowing through you.
2. Identify with thoughts which foster inspiration: It seems nowadays life has become a constant battle for survival. Amid the backdrop, inspiration takes a backseat as the mind is caught up in ‘survival mode’ rather than ‘inspired’. Weeding out thoughts which do not resonate with your deepest self allows inspiration to make its way into your life. Let go of disempowering thoughts of lack or limitation since that can stifle inspiration. As you distance yourself from such thoughts, you create a space around them rather than becoming invested in every thought. Drop those thoughts which no longer have a place in your mind and replace them with empowering ones. It won’t happen overnight, yet with persistence and compassion you can entertain thoughts which serve your highest good.
3. Develop a purposeful vision: A purposeful vision is one that is connected to your WHY? A purposeful vision is the pursuit of that which resonates with your deepest self. To others it may seem trivial or a waste of time. To you, it is an opportunity to connect with your purposeful self – pursue it with determination. Your determination to succeed will be governed by how strong your why? is. If you have a strong enough why? success becomes an extension of your efforts. Your why? is your call to action. It is your internal reference and guidepost leading you towards your purpose-filled vision.
4. Inspired people can’t wait to wake up in the morning: Inspired people don’t sleep in. You might be surprised to learn that inspired people are often insomniacs. Many of them ruminate in a positive way about their passion even while asleep. They live in the present moment. They practice infinite patience, since they are not bound by the constraints of tomorrow or yesterday. Inspired people make time in the afternoon for brief power naps in which to recharge. Not only does a twenty to thirty minute nap serve to lower stress, it improves cognitive function and stimulates right brain neural activity.
5. Inspiration is an act of Flow: I previously wrote about Flow as a way to deeply connect with a pursuit or passion. Termed “Optimal Experience” by the Hungarian psychology professor, Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi, Flow is the internal state one experiences when consumed by their passion. Therefore a violinist may be said to be in Flow during a live performance on stage. Inspiration is heightened when one is in Flow since they are connected with higher brain regions, notably the right hemisphere. The good news is that inspiration crosses over into other areas of your life as you become open to it. Inspiration loves to be called upon, so the more space you make for it, the more readily it is available to you.
Now in his late fifties, John has been painting since his early twenties and has managed to carve out a successful career. His artwork is regularly featured in corporate foyers across the country, not to mention the regular art exhibits and private buyers who flock to buy his work.
John represents one of many artists who are inspired and, more importantly, not afraid to put in the dedicated hours to create masterpieces. Inspiration is the call from the soul to express itself through you. Inspiration is not only confined to the arts, it may express itself in various forms. You may be inspired if you’re a stay-at-home mother tending to your family. Inspiration is not defined by WHAT you do, rather it is defined by the state of being one experiences when inspired.
Inspiration is the expression of creativity and the mind of the universe flowing through you – and it is not exclusive to artists. If you yearn for direction, inspiration may be beckoning. How can you tell the difference between inspiration and happiness, since they both share similarities? Inspiration is characterised by a deep sense of joy and fulfilment. When you are inspired and pursuing your passion, time stands still. You are oblivious to your surroundings.
Those who are inspired find meaning and purpose to their work. They view their purpose as a calling rather than a job or career. Because of this they operate from a higher frequency, allowing the source of their inspiration to flow unimpeded through every cell of their body. Happiness on the other hand is a fleeting experience. You may be happy one moment and sad the next. We might conclude that happiness is ephemeral, bound by the constraints of external reality.
The following points are ways in which to cultivate and nurture inspiration in your daily life. It is worth reiterating that you need not be an artist, musician, dancer, etc. to connect with inspiration. Cooking and sharing a delicious meal with your loved one at the end of a long day may be regarded as an act of inspiration, since it is a calling from the heart.
1. Discover your passion and connect with purpose: What are you most passionate about? What stirs your soul and leaves you daydreaming throughout the day? Those who find passion and purpose report an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, joy and bliss throughout their life. Their spirit is alive. Not only does time stand still, one feels the expression of their soul come alive. Happiness becomes an extension of universal intelligence, which serves as the conduit of this life-force flowing through you.
2. Identify with thoughts which foster inspiration: It seems nowadays life has become a constant battle for survival. Amid the backdrop, inspiration takes a backseat as the mind is caught up in ‘survival mode’ rather than ‘inspired’. Weeding out thoughts which do not resonate with your deepest self allows inspiration to make its way into your life. Let go of disempowering thoughts of lack or limitation since that can stifle inspiration. As you distance yourself from such thoughts, you create a space around them rather than becoming invested in every thought. Drop those thoughts which no longer have a place in your mind and replace them with empowering ones. It won’t happen overnight, yet with persistence and compassion you can entertain thoughts which serve your highest good.
3. Develop a purposeful vision: A purposeful vision is one that is connected to your WHY? A purposeful vision is the pursuit of that which resonates with your deepest self. To others it may seem trivial or a waste of time. To you, it is an opportunity to connect with your purposeful self – pursue it with determination. Your determination to succeed will be governed by how strong your why? is. If you have a strong enough why? success becomes an extension of your efforts. Your why? is your call to action. It is your internal reference and guidepost leading you towards your purpose-filled vision.
4. Inspired people can’t wait to wake up in the morning: Inspired people don’t sleep in. You might be surprised to learn that inspired people are often insomniacs. Many of them ruminate in a positive way about their passion even while asleep. They live in the present moment. They practice infinite patience, since they are not bound by the constraints of tomorrow or yesterday. Inspired people make time in the afternoon for brief power naps in which to recharge. Not only does a twenty to thirty minute nap serve to lower stress, it improves cognitive function and stimulates right brain neural activity.
5. Inspiration is an act of Flow: I previously wrote about Flow as a way to deeply connect with a pursuit or passion. Termed “Optimal Experience” by the Hungarian psychology professor, Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi, Flow is the internal state one experiences when consumed by their passion. Therefore a violinist may be said to be in Flow during a live performance on stage. Inspiration is heightened when one is in Flow since they are connected with higher brain regions, notably the right hemisphere. The good news is that inspiration crosses over into other areas of your life as you become open to it. Inspiration loves to be called upon, so the more space you make for it, the more readily it is available to you.
