Tony Fahkry's Blog - Posts Tagged "dreams"

Every morning after a cup of coffee while catching up on the daily news, John retreats to his studio, a small space situated at the rear of his house. This has been John’s ritual for as long as he can remember. As the hours pass, John is completely consumed by painting. It isn't until evening draws near that he soon realises he has been painting for over ten hours with only a break here and there.

Now in his late fifties, John has been painting since his early twenties and has managed to carve out a successful career. His artwork is regularly featured in corporate foyers across the country, not to mention the regular art exhibits and private buyers who flock to buy his work.

John represents one of many artists who are inspired and, more importantly, not afraid to put in the dedicated hours to create masterpieces. Inspiration is the call from the soul to express itself through you. Inspiration is not only confined to the arts, it may express itself in various forms. You may be inspired if you’re a stay-at-home mother tending to your family. Inspiration is not defined by WHAT you do, rather it is defined by the state of being one experiences when inspired.

Inspiration is the expression of creativity and the mind of the universe flowing through you – and it is not exclusive to artists. If you yearn for direction, inspiration may be beckoning. How can you tell the difference between inspiration and happiness, since they both share similarities? Inspiration is characterised by a deep sense of joy and fulfilment. When you are inspired and pursuing your passion, time stands still. You are oblivious to your surroundings.

Those who are inspired find meaning and purpose to their work. They view their purpose as a calling rather than a job or career. Because of this they operate from a higher frequency, allowing the source of their inspiration to flow unimpeded through every cell of their body. Happiness on the other hand is a fleeting experience. You may be happy one moment and sad the next. We might conclude that happiness is ephemeral, bound by the constraints of external reality.

The following points are ways in which to cultivate and nurture inspiration in your daily life. It is worth reiterating that you need not be an artist, musician, dancer, etc. to connect with inspiration. Cooking and sharing a delicious meal with your loved one at the end of a long day may be regarded as an act of inspiration, since it is a calling from the heart.

1. Discover your passion and connect with purpose: What are you most passionate about? What stirs your soul and leaves you daydreaming throughout the day? Those who find passion and purpose report an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, joy and bliss throughout their life. Their spirit is alive. Not only does time stand still, one feels the expression of their soul come alive. Happiness becomes an extension of universal intelligence, which serves as the conduit of this life-force flowing through you.

2. Identify with thoughts which foster inspiration: It seems nowadays life has become a constant battle for survival. Amid the backdrop, inspiration takes a backseat as the mind is caught up in ‘survival mode’ rather than ‘inspired’. Weeding out thoughts which do not resonate with your deepest self allows inspiration to make its way into your life. Let go of disempowering thoughts of lack or limitation since that can stifle inspiration. As you distance yourself from such thoughts, you create a space around them rather than becoming invested in every thought. Drop those thoughts which no longer have a place in your mind and replace them with empowering ones. It won’t happen overnight, yet with persistence and compassion you can entertain thoughts which serve your highest good.

3. Develop a purposeful vision: A purposeful vision is one that is connected to your WHY? A purposeful vision is the pursuit of that which resonates with your deepest self. To others it may seem trivial or a waste of time. To you, it is an opportunity to connect with your purposeful self – pursue it with determination. Your determination to succeed will be governed by how strong your why? is. If you have a strong enough why? success becomes an extension of your efforts. Your why? is your call to action. It is your internal reference and guidepost leading you towards your purpose-filled vision.

4. Inspired people can’t wait to wake up in the morning: Inspired people don’t sleep in. You might be surprised to learn that inspired people are often insomniacs. Many of them ruminate in a positive way about their passion even while asleep. They live in the present moment. They practice infinite patience, since they are not bound by the constraints of tomorrow or yesterday. Inspired people make time in the afternoon for brief power naps in which to recharge. Not only does a twenty to thirty minute nap serve to lower stress, it improves cognitive function and stimulates right brain neural activity.

5. Inspiration is an act of Flow: I previously wrote about Flow as a way to deeply connect with a pursuit or passion. Termed “Optimal Experience” by the Hungarian psychology professor, Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi, Flow is the internal state one experiences when consumed by their passion. Therefore a violinist may be said to be in Flow during a live performance on stage. Inspiration is heightened when one is in Flow since they are connected with higher brain regions, notably the right hemisphere. The good news is that inspiration crosses over into other areas of your life as you become open to it. Inspiration loves to be called upon, so the more space you make for it, the more readily it is available to you.

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” - Dr. Seuss

Whether you’re starting out or a season veteran, following your dreams remains an elusive yet fulfilling quest. Ask any person who has traded their career to follow an endless dream and they’ll advise you they have not worked a single moment in pursuit of their passion.

Yet for many, chasing one’s dream may be filled with fear and intrepidation. The fear of the unknown is stifling to some. For others, placing trust in a universe that rarely interacts with them can be soul-destroying.

Since early age, children are encouraged to “follow their dreams,” the advice eschewed by parents and teachers alike. Whilst the guidance is well intentioned, there is an apparent shift which takes place by middle school.

High school counsellors are quick to recommend one pursue a course of study streamed in maths, science, arts or humanities. Given university entrance scores depend largely on final year high school grades, it makes sense to shift the focus from ‘dreams’ to grades.

Therefore, as teenagers approach their formidable years of educational life, the nostalgia of pursuing dreams shifts towards a fixed reality. Almost overnight the notion of following your bliss, as the American mythologist Joseph Campbell so eloquently conveyed, is extinguished.

Nevertheless whether you’re starting out or following a meticulous plan to pursue your dreams, the following points will help you chart your course. I leave you with a small caveat – do not be soothed into believing that pursuing your dreams is lined with the romanticism Hollywood films have espoused.

Henry David Thoreau, the American author and poet, wrote in his masterpiece book Walden, “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” He was of course referring to the hard work required to bring your dreams to fruition.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” – Michelangelo

1. Dreams Come From the Soul: Your dreams are a call from your soul to pursue that which you love, yet similarly serves others at the same time. You have been awarded unique gifts that help you paint your life’s canvas. Such gifts may be tied to your talents, skills and genius. Listen to the call of your soul by harnessing your potential – develop them; polish them until they are brilliant enough so that even the blind are aware of them.

2. Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams: Many people give up on their dreams, believing them impossible to achieve. Pursuing dreams are hard – dare I say challenging at the best of times, with little signs of success along the way. However almost overnight everything can fall into place if the timing is right. Oftentimes with persistent effort, your dreams may miraculously turn into reality when you least expect it. Be vigilant and tenacious in your pursuit of them.

3. Focus on Small Steps: At times you may feel powerless to navigate your way ahead – do not be concerned with your next steps, for they will be made known to you at the appropriate time. Each step and process unfolds in good time, to reveal the path ahead. Rush the process and you risk leapfrogging into uncharted territory. Given your intentions are well meaning through sustained daily effort, success is imminent.

4. Be Flexible: Flexibility is crucial when pursuing your dreams. Sometimes opportunities you never anticipated will land in your lap. As a successful former TV personality once advised me – “The key to my success has been the ability to take what was offered to me at the time and run with it.”

5. Let Go of Excuses: Your excuses may be holding you back allowing you to feel safe. Those who achieve big things, dream big. They fail often and are not afraid to keep trying. Don’t compromise your dreams by keeping them at arm’s distance because it ‘feels’ safe. Safe does not yield the results you deserve.

6. Discover a Burning Desire: To achieve your dreams, one must have an undeniable burning desire. Establish deep roots for your dreams to grow and nurture them daily. Create a powerful WHY? Connect with purpose and intention. Demand the very best and invariably the universe will greet you with the same desire. Doors will begin to open in strange and mysterious ways when you are aligned with purpose.

7. Focus on the Journey: The most overused advice delivered nowadays is that one enjoy the journey rather than focus on the prize. Ask anyone who has achieved a level of success and they’ll inform you of those times of uncertainty which remain etched in their minds. Life will never be the same once you have achieved success. There is no turning back – savour the people you meet, the time to yourself, the struggles, the laughter and most importantly enjoy yourself while pursuing that which you love.

8. Embrace Failure: Fail often, fail fast and mostly importantly LEARN from your failures. If you’re not failing often, you’re not taking sufficient strides towards your dreams. Therefore it is vital that you reframe failure by viewing it as a guidepost toward success. It is an opportunity to improve, not a STOP sign.

9. Sacrifices are Inevitable: It was Oprah Winfrey who said, “You can have it all, just not all at once.” Sacrifices do not equate to deprivation. You needn't work around the clock to succeed, and besides that will only lead to burn-out. You must be willing to give up aspects of life that will inevitably yield long-term results. Never sacrifice family life, since that is one thing you can rarely win back.

10. Be Willing to Compromise: Make adjustments along the way where required. Sometimes life will present you with unexpected detours – take them. Trust and have faith that you need to acquire an essential skill for your dream to thrive. Steve Jobs credits taking a calligraphy class at college, which later helped him create fonts for Apple computers. There are no mistakes.

“We must have a pure, honest, and warm-hearted motivation, and on top of that, determination, optimism, hope, and the ability not to be discouraged. The whole of humanity depends on this motivation.” - The 14th Dalai Lama

What does motivation represent to you? How do you motivate yourself? Do you require constant motivation? I want you to consider these questions throughout this article.

Motivation has come to embody a pivotal role in people’s lives within the developed world. Those from non-English speaking countries often lament how lazy we are in English speaking countries. Work ethic remains consistently high within the Asian and European countries. This cultural ethos is passed down from generations and instilled in their young.

Motivation implies one is lacking in this virtue. I gained an exhaustive education in motivation at the mercy of highly motivated parents. They were working class immigrants who arrived in Australia shortly after being married. Like many other migrants who settled early in the sixties, they worked hard to provide a quality of life for their loved ones. However, the idea of motivation still remains a non-descript term for my mother. I cannot recall a time in her life when she needed motivation.

Motivation stems from two main principles: desire and will. It encompasses a purposeful intent to give life to an aspect of one’s personal character.

I hold firm to the belief that you cannot motivate other people if they are lacking in desire and will. Rather you may inspire them, or as the idiom reminds us, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”

Recall an experience where you had to motivate someone against their will. No doubt there’s been an instance where a friend, family member or loved one required a gentle nudge. Was it a challenge to motivate them? Did they achieve their desired outcome?

An aspect of my work entails working with individuals as well as small to large groups. My duty of care is to inspire my clients by guiding them to explore their talents and inner resources. Over the years the more I sought to motivate a person, the less likely they were to achieve their chosen result. Motivating a person devoid of inspiration is futile in the long run, since there is no inherent drive arising from within.

Many of my regular clients present themselves to training since they have sought the motivation to do so long ago. Anyone who gets out of bed at 5am in the morning to exercise is motivated. I am simply providing the medium and the expertise to deliver a directed training program tailored to their specific goals. They are clear on their health goals. They simply require the expertise and know-how to deliver results.

I may often provide them with sources of inspiration as the going gets tough. Due to their hectic work-life schedules, many of them find it difficult to exercise consistently, while simultaneously remaining motivated.
So how do you attain motivation to achieve any number of goals? Listed below are three useful summaries for acquiring motivation when experiencing a brief lapse in enthusiasm.

“Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” - Lou Holtz

1. What is holding you back?: This may be a crucial question to consider for overcoming a lack of motivation. Remaining stuck is an indicator that you have plateaued or reached your highest point in your journey. Perhaps you have hit a sticking point in relation to exercise, nutrition or other personal matters and require expert assistance to guide you to the next phase. Exchange ideas with people whom you trust and have a sympathetic ear to your plight. Seek the advice of those who have walked the path before you.

2. A blessing in disguise: In his book Way of the Peaceful Warrior, author Dan Millman reminds us that our setbacks may be paving the way for something greater, “When we feel stuck, going nowhere - even starting to slip backward - we may actually be backing up to get a running start.” What may initially appear like failure on first impression might in fact be your greatest opportunity for success. Oftentimes being stuck serves to prompt you to find a way out of your dilemma. When you meet with painful moments, the mind hastily signals its aversion for this state and seeks to find a way through. Your mind is habituated toward seeking pleasure, not pain.

3. One step at a time: We are lured in to a false promise that when we acquire something or someone, we will be happy and fulfilled. This inaccurate way of thinking conditions your mind to neglect the most important process which lies in-between, i.e. the journey. I am reminding you to enjoy the journey by reconnecting with the purpose of your pursuit. Your journey entails the people you meet, the friendships formed, the person you become, the knowledge you acquire and the lessons gained. Without these significant measures, you risk becoming an unfulfilled somebody waiting for the next adventure. Following this line of thought, you are continually arriving at your destination instead of striving.

Wherever you are in your life’s journey, take some time out to reflect on how far you have come. Examine the root cause of your suffering and where necessary, make adjustments to your goals as required. Don’t be fixed on HOW you will achieve your goals or plans - be open and flexible. You’ll know you’re on the right track when your goals begin to manifest with ease and perfection.

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.” - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

The journey to reach your goals far exceeds the goal itself.
Furthermore, the final outcome may not be as significant as you’ve been led to believe.

Two bold statements, yes I know. Indulge me for a brief moment as we explore further.

Reflect on a substantial goal you accomplished in the past year. Would you have reached the goal were it not for the steps taken to get there?
Goal attainment is a by-product of one’s journey. In the same way, losing weight is inevitable when you implement healthy nutritional habits and lifestyle changes.

The journey to achieve a goal is governed by: the person you become along the way, the skills acquired, the connections made and the inner growth which takes place.

Goal setting is a term burned into our psyche from an early age. We are told that goals represent the cornerstone of every victory, notwithstanding the foundations which are crucial to support those goals.

Whilst there is some merit in that advice, you’ll be surprised to learn many successful people set out with little or no goals, yet still managed to achieve notable success. Their underlying motivation was grounded in continuous improvement and acquiring valuable skills.

Nowadays, countless self-help books, blogs and master classes are devoted to coaching people on goal setting. We’re counselled against setting unrealistic goals, since they’re less likely to be realised. Rather, it is advised to outline clear and manageable goals which affords you the opportunity to chart your progress more effectively.

Depicted in the following quote by Woody Allen is the understanding that there is a greater force operating in the backdrop of our lives managing the finer details, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
The underlying message is that life never goes according to plan. Life becomes replete with the meaning you assign it. It is upheld by your passion toward your purpose.

In keeping with the message of shifting focus off your goal, author Michael Neil reaffirms this point in his book Supercoach, “Obsessing about goals is like playing a game of fetch with yourself, using your happiness and self-worth as the bone.”

I wish to offer you the following thoughts echoed in the advice to savour the journey rather than having a fixed outcome for your goals.

“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” - Arthur Ashe

1. Arriving Rather Than Striving: Life is a series of smaller destinations. The goal in life is not to acquire things or certain people to complete you. Such goals are bound to cause suffering once they vanish from your life – easy come, easy go.

When your focus is on the goal alone, you forfeit the lessons and wonderful experiences that lie in-between. Your subconscious mind and accompanying biology are formed in such a way as to support your success.

Appreciate the journey by trusting that you have the wherewithal to accomplish any task you set your mind upon, once your will and intention are firmly grounded. The journey is the essence of where life exists in all her glory.

2. Take Your Eyes Off The Prize: Have you ever undertaken a goal to lose weight, with a certain number in mind? Do you recall what method you employed to arrive at such a figure? I’m confident it was about as random as selecting numbers for the weekly lottery.

Goals are meaningless without the intermediary process to get you there. The journey is where your goals are formed and realised. You may find that in losing weight, you acquire certain skills or undertake several lifestyle changes which you previously would not have considered.

If you rush the process and achieve your goal in the shortest amount of time, you forego the experiences along the way which cement your new habits.

As you take your eyes off the prize and enjoy the journey, you develop the ability to sharpen the saw as Stephen Covey lays out in his acclaimed book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. That is, you learn to preserve and enhance your personal self.

3. The Journey Builds Character: Character is shaped on the path to your goals. Strength of character is developed throughout the journey via the trials and lessons experienced.

You will call upon these lessons when you attain your goal, much like an athlete who spends countless hours in training, honing their performance. Those skills will be harnessed at the appropriate time.

Helen Keller reminds us of the virtue of character in the following quote, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” You see, the journey becomes the focal point, since you gain innumerable resources along the way which renders the goal far more rewarding in the end.

You’ve heard it said that successful people are adaptable. They know what they want and pursue it with intense determination. They are receptive to the process of life and do not have fixed outcomes on how their goals will be achieved.

Now is a good time as any to take your foot off the accelerator and slip into cruise control. Rest assured you’ll continue to arrive at smaller destinations, which pave the way for a rewarding and fulfilling journey, replete with fulfilling life experiences.

More importantly the journey becomes a continual process of refinement, leading you toward your ultimate victory – the accomplishment of your goal and the strength of character to match.

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned." - Edward Bulwer Lytton

In an ancient Greek fable, the playwright Euripides conveys a story of an army general who buries a large treasure in his tent, following his defeat in battle. When the conquering general and his troops could not locate the treasure, they consulted the Oracle of Delphi who advised them to look under every stone. The conquering general returned to the site where the tent was situated, ordering his troops to search under every stone until the treasure was uncovered.

The tale by Euripides, used since the 1500s, depicts man’s unbending desire to pursue every course of action to achieve his outcome. Consider the relevance of this story in your own life. Is there a goal or dream you are determined to achieve with a vehement desire?

Giving up is an easy way out since it abandons the need to concede failure and the ensuing emotions which arise from defeat. Yet character is formed in defeat, similar to the process where carbon dioxide when applied with intense heat and pressure, gives rise to form a diamond.
I’d like you to consider leaving no stone unturned in your pursuit to realise a particular goal or outcome. That is, adopt an unrelenting desire to pursue that which burns deep in your heart. Have you noticed, those who strike upon success have an unyielding tenacity not to lose sight of their vision?

Similar to a dog who refuses to let go of his bone until he has gnawed at it, thus reducing it to nothing more than bone fragments, you must strive to exhaust all avenues before retreating into defeat. Often, we believe every course of action is being undertaken, yet something is always lurking around the corner, waiting to command our attention.

People who seek a cure for disease or illness, may spend years searching for a solution to no avail. Yet, as they abandon hope, a likely solution is brought to light when they least expect it. Therefore, I urge you to stay vigilant, yet in a state of expectation without a projected outcome of how your goal will come to bear.

Consider your answer to this question - what is it you desire? We spend a great deal of time protesting what we don’t want, to the detriment of our true desires. Your subconscious mind constantly scans your innermost thoughts and daydreams. It does so by filtering pertinent information to reveal patterns of thought, particular to your character. Therefore, given your commitment, giving up should be the last resort until all avenues have been exhausted.

Similarly, what you set out to achieve may not be realised in the form you intended. Many of the world’s greatest inventions came to life because of an accident or mishap. Consider the inventions we take for granted nowadays such as: Post-it notes, Penicillin, the microwave oven, Velcro and x-rays. Such inventions arose out of mere accident and countless errors.

It is no surprise that vigilance, tenacity and an unrelenting desire are paramount in your quest to succeed. This principle applies to most areas of life: improving personal finances, career, entrepreneurship and seeking a committed relationship. I invite you to think in terms of infinite possibilities.

In their book, The Winner’s Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success, authors Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske state, “A Winner’s Brain is very good at tuning out distractions and choosing the best way to focus on a task (there are different types of focus the brain is capable of) in order to get the best outcome.” The ability to tune out distractions becomes a focal point to realise your intended outcome. The winner’s mind is goal orientated, given its laser focus to stay committed to the project until it has come to life.

Regrettably, most people adopt the suck it and see approach to goal attainment, eluding to the English expression of, “giving it a go” while attentive to what eventuates in the process. Whilst merit is gained in adopting this approach, it is better suited towards smaller goals rather than risk gambling with the game of life. A more likely strategy calls for developing a compelling inner resolve to pursue the goal til the end - far too many people give up, just when the tide turns. Whilst you may not appreciate how close you were, in hindsight you might lament your missed opportunity. I invite you to consider the timely quote by the late author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn, which invites us to reflect upon the value of regret, “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.”

To leave no stone unturned in your quest for success, requires restrained patience and biding your time. In support, a steadfast vigilance to realise a successful outcome is similarly paramount. I suggest you alternate between these two states, given that patience and vigilance tend to oppose one another. Do not abandon hope when all seems lost, that is the time when the tide turns in your favour. Life is bound by unexpected change when you least expect it.

In concluding, pursue everything in your power to realise your goal, then turn it over to the universe to usher in the ideal outcome. It was in Dan Millman’s book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, where he reminds us of the following affirmation, “I no longer presume to know how life should come or go; letting go in this way brings a sense of freedom. This doesn’t mean I don’t care or have no preferences. My actions naturally follow the call of my heart, my interests, my values. I make efforts in my personal and professional life in alignment with my goals. But once I've taken aim and loosed the arrows from the bow, I can only wait with interest to see where it will land.”

Assume the same inner conviction towards your vision of success. Sure enough, when you least expect it, success will greet you in the timeliest hour.