Tony Fahkry's Blog - Posts Tagged "meaning"

The Unexamined Life

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates

The Search for Meaning

Many of us sail through life impervious to the choices we make each day. Such decisions are often made without even second guessing ourselves. We discover that many of these choices are programmed, that is they are devoid of conscious intent. As time goes by we may pause and reflect how such choices were made, perhaps realising that we have not been as present after all.

Socrates, the Greek philosopher and founder of Western Philosophy coined the phrase, “The unexamined life is not worth living” circa 470 – 399 BC. There have been countless explorations of this passage over time. Whilst I do not wish to analyse the phrase in this article, I do however wish to offer my thoughts on how we can live a virtuous life through regular self-examination.

Self-awareness is one of the key attributes humans possess, which distinguishes us from the animal kingdom. The notable mirror test developed by the psychologist Gordon Gallup Jnr. is used an indicator of awareness in animals. In this experiment, animals are presented with an image of themselves reflected back via a mirror. If they recognise the image reflected back (often a marking is made on the animal to determine if they identify it), then it is deemed that they are self-aware. Interestingly, children tend to fail this test until they are at least 1.5 to 2 years old.

Therefore self-awareness is the bedrock upon which we identify with our beingness. It allows us to interact with others and our environment through our experience of the world. Being self-aware not only attributes an awareness of self, it signifies an understanding of one’s personality, i.e. strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs and motivation.

In contrast, there are many people who sail through life oblivious to their behaviour. They rarely learn from their mistakes, since they are programmed from early childhood to disregard the impact of their actions. It might be said that their self-awareness is limited. Such people are unaware of the mental and emotional prejudices accrued over time. It has been said that we spend the first half of our life accumulating knowledge and the second half letting go of that knowledge.

Devoid of our capacity for self-examination, it may seem as though life is acting upon us as we fall victim to the forces of life. Alternatively as we let go of the distorted thinking, we appreciate that as free choice agents acting within the container of free will, we are indeed co-creating our life’s circumstances.

“There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self-examination.” - Mencius

Awakening the Authentic Self

It posits favourably that since we have free will, we should strive to make decisions that are in line with our best interests. Our aim should be to uphold the essential virtues of human existence: wisdom, justice, fortitude, self-control, love, positive attitude, hard work, integrity, gratitude and humility. Authenticity then is used to describe the act of living in congruency with our highest nature. Rather than abide by our external environment, we become blissfully aware of our inner nature as we strive to uphold the human virtues.

Self-examination in this context becomes an expression of knowing oneself. Fundamentally, our aim at this level is to overcome our mistakes by refusing to invite them into the future. Two vital ingredients then are required for self-mastery: personal growth and self-awareness. Much like brushing our teeth to keep them clean, attending to our personal growth on a daily basis is like exercise for our mental well-being. Moreover, self-awareness coupled with personal growth may be akin to a gardener pulling weeds while simultaneously harvesting new crop. In time, not only have we cultivated an entire garden devoid of weeds, we have simultaneously allowed our authentic self to emerge.

In my recent book, The Power to Navigate Life, I invite the reader to consider two ideas dutifully essential to the mastery of life. I affirm that you are either Navigating Life or Parked. A Parked state may be characterised by the metaphysical relationship one experiences while in a motor vehicle when stationary: stopped, stuck, enclosed, stagnant, not moving and trapped. Navigating Life on the other hand denotes a movement of outward energy: expansive, moving freely, navigating, exploring, discovering and expressive.

These two states represent the metaphysical relationship we have with ourselves at certain times of our life. As we learn to master life and reclaim our internal state, we move from a Parked state to Navigating Life. It must be said that even while you may be Parked, it serves as a valuable opportunity for self-reflection so you do not carry those mistakes into the future.

A deep and meaningful life is only worth living if we become self-aware and strive to lead an authentic life. Through regular self-examination we come to appreciate that there are no rights or wrongs, only consequences. In order to reduce the likelihood of experiencing untoward outcomes, we must connect with our deepest self which is the essence of our authentic nature.
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Published on June 26, 2014 04:10 Tags: authentic-self, meaning, personal-growth, purpose, self-awareness, unexamined-life

How to Live Life to the Fullest

“Man.
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
- The 14th Dalai Lama

I wish to draw your attention to a line from the Dalai Lama’s opening quote, “…he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

What does it mean for you to live life to the fullest? What does life look like at this level?

I wish to offer my account to these questions in the coming paragraphs, while introducing four principles I trust will serve you well to connect with this ideal.

Upon first impressions, living life to the fullest invokes sentiments of travelling the world, while bathing in the beauty of life, experiencing deep and meaningful relationships, financial success and sustained health & wellbeing. Well at least that’s the image summoned up in my mind.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned, how do you know if you are living your life to the fullest? Is there a measure of progress which defines our trajectory? Moreover, if I were to survey one hundred people, I’m certain there would be varied opinions on what constitutes a deep and meaningful life.

For that reason it might be considered inconsequential how you live your life in light of other people’s definitions. A family friend often reminds me, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”

In keeping with this tenet, let us examine four principles which I believe form the foundation for living a rich and rewarding life.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” - Helen Keller, The Open Door

Honour Yourself: Echoed in the quote by author Neil Gaiman, “...wherever you go, you take yourself with you…” raises our awareness that running away from our problems is not sustainable, since our problems are bound to catch up with us in the end.

Your relationship to others is governed by your level of self respect. Why? Consider for a moment a person’s interaction with others in light of a contracted self-worth. Their view of reality is defined by a distorted sense of self, represented by the unconscious belief: “I don’t respect myself; I don’t expect anyone to respect me and I will not respect others as a result.”

Therefore, as you honour yourself you accept people for who they are instead of whom you’d like them to be.

Honouring yourself entails complete acceptance of your insecurities, weaknesses and fears. It entails complete recognition of your wholeness, despite the mental façade which instructs you otherwise.

Here’s an insight - No one is perfect, even the Dalai Lama is prone to moments of anger. And yet he does not define himself as an angry person, since this is merely a fleeting emotion. If we allow an angry state to consume us, we eventually lose sight of our completeness. Honour your deepest nature which is vested in pure awareness, by refusing to define yourself via disempowering emotional states.

Live A Healthy Life: How are you able to recognise happiness when you are angry, irritable or sad? The mind will express any physical limitations held in the body and vice versa. This serves as your anchor point, alternatively known as subjective reality.

Have you noticed how some people often lament how sick and unwell they are? They strongly identify with their illness as a badge of honour, seeking constant sympathy to validate their suffering.

We are all prone to physical breakdowns eventually, since we inhabit a human form which is subject to ageing. However that does not necessitate accelerating the ageing process by focussing on your ailments. Let go of your need to identify with your complaints. This is not who you are.

It is your obligation to tend to your physical body in a dutiful manner. Nurture it daily. Don’t treat your body as you would a machine - that is neglect it, feed it poor nutrients and expect it to serve you like a master. You deserve better than that. Be kind to yourself by allowing the goodness of life to flow through you.

Face Your Fears: When you are consumed by fear, you remain captive to the emotion. Fear impedes your success and potential. It inhibits you from growing and evolving. It is wired into man’s DNA to thrive and prosper.

Remaining a prisoner to toxic emotions serves no place in your life other than to keep you trapped. I called this state, remaining Parked in my book, The Power to Navigate Life. The metaphysical relationship of being stagnant and stuck in comparison to Navigating Life.

Despite people’s beliefs, the opposite of fear is not courage - it is love. Love is the highest functioning order within the universe. Therefore fear becomes an illusion which is overcome with a loving and compassionate heart.

Face your fears by starting small. You don’t have to go up against it like a Samurai waging battle. Begin by overcoming smaller, less frightening fears until you find the courage to advance to bigger ones. Your reward is a life enriched with passion and purpose.

Learn From Your Mistakes: Learning from your mistakes involves drawing valuable lessons from your experiences. You begin to attract that which you need to further expand your personal evolution.

The following quote from Andrew Matthew’s book, Follow Your Heart: Finding Purpose In Your Life and Work is a testament to our willingness to learn and prosper from our experiences, “We are each a cause. Our thoughts attract and create circumstances. As we change, we attract different circumstances. Until we learn a lesson, we either stay stuck on the same lesson, or keep getting the same lesson in different packages.”

In a similar vein, Tony Robbins invites us to reframe ‘failure’ as undesired outcomes rather than dwell on our misfortunes. As you embrace this way of thinking, you transcend your limitations by viewing them from a higher perspective.

As you embrace the lessons, success is bound to greet you on the next occasion. Invariably, it may require numerous attempts to achieve success but that is irrelevant, since the thrill of the experience far outweighs the pain of regret.
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Published on November 29, 2014 21:23 Tags: life, living-life, meaning, mind, overcome-fear, purpose, self-esteem, success