Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 14

We Slept Together Now What? 10 Ways to Recover

Damn! I Slept With Him Last Night!

I got an email recently from a concerned reader. The essence of her email was, “Gregg Help! We slept together now what?” Don’t panic. Even though you woke up this morning lying in bed with an almost total stranger snoring next to you, all is not lost.

I’m not here to judge you. Hey, we’ve all been there at one point or another.  I just want you to know what your options are and how to best handle this situation if you like this guy.

To understand your dilemma, you need to understand men. Guys look for sex and then love. They look to have fun in the moment.

Women look for milestones to prove love:

We slept together
I met his friends
I met his family
He took me away

You think these milestones mean he is falling in love. What you don’t understand is that most good men are clueless when it comes to milestones. When a man first meets you, he is interested in one thing – getting to know you and having fun doing it!

When you wake up next to a guy, you may be feeling you’re already in a real relationship, but he is only thinking about how much fun he just had.

What can you do, now that you slept with him?

We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #1

Get out of there! Don’t try to make excuses for yourself. Forget the “I’ve never done this before in my life” speech. He’s heard it at least a few times before so even if it is true, he won’t believe you.

I slept with him too soon how to fix it?

Don’t bother with a note, glowing about what a great time you had and please, don’t try to give him a backrub. He probably doesn’t want one. As quietly as you can, grab your stuff and leave.

If he wakes up and offers coffee and a bagel, you can accept, but be brief and then leave. Say you’ve got a busy day and keep moving. Be kind of course, but go! If he’s awake, a little peck on the lips is fine. One final thought – don’t even think about discussing a second date – yet.

Learn More About How To Gracefully Exit A One-Night Stand
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #2

Don’t assume all is lost! At this point, he’s probably thinking you do this with other guys. He may feel he doesn’t want to chase you any more – the relationship isn’t special. It lacks mystery and challenge.

What you need to do is show him you had fun, just like he did. Don’t make more out of it than it was. Don’t start talking commitment. Don’t believe you’re in a serious relationship. Relax and enjoy the ride just like he is.

Your gut will tell you to shoot him an email or text, again trying to explain yourself. Don’t. This is a huge red flag – on it is printed “I have no confidence”. He won’t judge you as much on the first date sex as he will on what you do after. Remain calm and cool!

Be More Confident Around Guys You Like
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #3

Don’t apologize! Send him a confident text instead

Now that you’ve let him know you were just having fun, it’s time to draw him back into the chase. This could be your hardest move. You must continue to play it cool. Don’t reach out to him. Let him reach out to you. If he does, he’s still interested. If, after a couple of weeks, you haven’t heard from him, it’s time to remind him you’re around.

You do this with a cheeky, confident text. It might go something like this, “Hey Gregg! I’m going to Jasper’s this Saturday to grab some wings! You in?”

Skip the emoticons. Be brief and casual.  You’re going to be there already if he wants to come. This shows confidence. This draws him back into chase mode if he’s still interested.

How To Make A Guy Chase You Using Male Psychology
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #4

Before your first date, you probably texted like crazy. Maybe he even texted a couple times after you slept with him, but now, the texts are slowing down or they’re gone altogether. This means you’ve lost some credibility with him but you can get it back!

You must remain cool. Don’t panic and start blasting him with texts. Instead, wait at least two weeks, if not three or four. If you’ve got history together, wait two weeks, otherwise, wait three or four. What you want to do now is accidentally bump into him somewhere like the gym or someplace you know he hangs out. Be casual and say “Hi” as if nothing happened. Now, he’s got you back on his mind and that’s right where you want to be.

How To Build Attraction With Text Towards A Guy You Like
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #5

Ask him to join you and your friends

If he responds to your attempts to reach out, you can slide into a temporary position as friends. You needed to be there first and now is your chance to reboot. Much like your last recovery move, this one involves shooting him a casual invitation – something like, “Hey Jim, I’m meeting a few friends for pizza at The Pub this Saturday afternoon. Come hang out with us”.

This is a let’s be friends request, not a date. You’re just going to hang out with friends. It takes the pressure off of the relationship and puts you back to having fun together. You’re also taking the pressure off by making it a daytime activity. If he fails to respond, move on. He’s either not quality or he’s already moved on himself.

How To Make Him Want More After A One Night Stand
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #6

If he asks you on an official second date, it’s important to reestablish your boundaries. This date is key in letting him know you’re not going to sleep with him again until he has earned that place in your life.

The best way to do this is go on a date which doesn’t lend itself to sex afterward. Go on a day date or out to a restaurant or concert somewhere. Meet him there so he doesn’t end up at your place after. Don’t say something like, “Well let’s not let the same thing happen this time”. If he tries to get into your pants on the second date, it’s time to give him the heave-ho! Set your boundaries and hold onto them. If he respects you, he’ll respect your boundaries. If not, move on!

Setting Boundaries In A Relationship
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #7

Look hot! He knows where to find you

Even though you only had one date with this guy, you can bet you were, and probably still are on his radar screen. Whether it’s mutual friends on social media or common interests or haunts, he knows where to find you if he wants to. Play this to your advantage. Don’t worry about looking good for him. Look good for any man.

The last thing he wants is for another man to steal you away. If he sees you out, looking hotter than ever, he knows other guys are seeing you too. Now I’m not saying go to the grocery store in heels and a tight skirt. Make sure he sees that you’re still on the market and if he wants to be your man, he’d better get busy letting you know it!

Scientifically Proven Ways To Become More Attractive To Men
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #8

It’s time to get busy. Women have a tendency to go all in early on in a relationship. Even when you feel you’ve made a mistake by sleeping with him, you don’t compensate by falling head-first into relationship mode. Instead, get back into your hobbies if you have some. If not, it’s time to find a hobby. Get passionate about something like Special Olympics or animal rights.

When you’re busy, you’re not only building confidence but your mind is occupied and you’re less focused on this guy and whether or not he still wants to date you. Being busy also helps you keep from looking like you want him more than he wants you. When he reaches out, reward him by honoring his request but don’t be the one to reach out first.

Benefits Of Having A Hobby
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #9

If and when the next time comes for sex, be ready to knock his socks off. Since this next time will be after a few dates and after he proves himself to be worthy of another time in the sack with you, you will have learned more about him. Find out what it is that attracts him to you. Ask him sometime about his fantasies.

When a next time for sex comes, be ready to fulfill his fantasies. Don’t just have sex, make it an encounter that tells him he’ll never find another woman like you! In that moment, let him know that you’re the woman who wants to please him. Listen and learn so you’re always stepping up your game. Hint: He will most likely return the favor!

How to Keep A Guy Interested After Sleeping With Him
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #10

Check your emotions at the door

This last recovery move will be difficult. You have to check your emotions at the door. You’re probably not going to hear from him for a few days, if not weeks. This can get frustrating quickly. It causes anxiety and maybe even a little anger inside you. Don’t lash out at him. Don’t start shooting him angry texts.

Men don’t know how to manage your emotions. It makes them want to run fast in another direction. A woman cries and a man shrugs his shoulders. Not because he doesn’t care but because he doesn’t know what to do to fix it.

If you’re feeling emotional, call your mother or your girlfriends but don’t text him. It’s okay to feel those things, it’s just not okay to let him know.

How To Stop Being So Emotional In A Relationship
Wrap Up

Yes, you made a blunder when you slept with him on your first date, but it’s not the end-all to your relationship. If you remember to remain cool and calm, you’ll be well on your way to surprising him. Keep your emotions in check and let him text or call you first to let him begin chasing you and remember to be attractive for all men, not just for your guy.

Men have expectations about how a woman will react after a first-date sex night. By doing the opposite of what he expects, you are setting yourself up to be a one-of-a-kind woman, rather than just another one-night stand!

The post We Slept Together Now What? 10 Ways to Recover appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Ask Relationship Advice Anonymously – Specific Advice From a Pro!

Ask Relationship Advice Anonymously

I am finding people want to ask relationship advice anonymously. They want a pro. People are willing to pay a small fee for a personal one-one email session if it is private and with someone they trust.

I see major websites that have forums where you can search for dating advice or relationship advice for free, but they miss the mark.

You can try get your question answered anonymously in one of these forums because the question has been “answered” many times before.

But are you willing to take that risk with one of the most important decisions in your life?

This doesn’t work. You could hurt your relationship instead of fixing it.

Here is where I come in.

My name is Gregg Michaelsen. I am a life coach, a dating coach, and a multiple #1 best-selling author having sold a quarter million books. I have worked with Hollywood celebrities and CEO’s. (A few revealed their names once I earned their trust.)

You are just as important to me!

I want to hear your exact situation and question, so I can give you targeted, confidential advice.

You can ask relationship advice anonymously, or you can use you real name. It’s totally up to you.

Where Can I Ask for Advice Anonymously?

Hey, often you don’t want to consult a coworker, your grandmother, your mom, or even your best friend. I get it. You know they mean well but they are not experts in the field of dating and relationship advice.

Furthermore, your anonymity is lost! Do you really want your Mom knowing your guy might have sexual dysfunction or herpes? Probably not.

People have secret affairs, taboo questions, and possibly painful secrets, that they don’t want anyone in their life to know about. They want to ask relationship advice anonymously without judgement.

I will never judge you! My goal is to give you clarity of what is going on in his mind and then some options to fix it.

So shoot on over to my ask a dating expert page and let me help you with one question with a follow-up!

ASK A DATING EXPERT!

The post Ask Relationship Advice Anonymously – Specific Advice From a Pro! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How to Tell if a Guy Likes You – 15 Tell-Tale Signals

I encourage my readers to contact me by providing my email in each of my books. Because of that, I get dozens of emails every day and at least a one of those emails will be from a woman who asks me how to tell if a guy likes you. It’s like a big mystery to them, trying to figure out the “guy signs he likes you.”

The truth is that men give out gigantic clues, but you are looking in all the wrong places! You’re looking for “female clues” to tell you if a guy likes you. This is your first and biggest mistake!

Guys throw out guy clues and maybe the clues aren’t that gigantic, but they are gigantic in male terms. Read more about how Men Love in Different Ways.

You’re looking for things like whether or not he gives you flowers or if he brings you chocolate on your birthday. You consider it a big milestone when he invites you to meet his family. All you want is for him to sing you a song and tell you how he feels from that guitar he plays so well!

None of that is going to happen. You won’t see most of the milestones or signs you’re looking for. I’ll be the first to admit, men are clueless about these milestones. Now, let me tell you what signals a guy will send if he likes you.

How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #1: He’s a Nervous Wreck

Women fall for the guy who delivers lines smoothly, is polished and says all the right things. While this guy may seem to be Mr. Right, this is part of the definition of what I call a wet kitten, user or player.

The quality guy who will stick around is not polished or smooth. He’s nervous as heck-just like you!

Like you, he fears rejection! In this Verily article, Guys Tell us What Keeps Them From Asking You Out, learn more reasons why great guys are afraid to approach.

You can tell he likes you if he stumbles a bit in the beginning. Too many women reject a man who is nervous for the guy who is smooth, thanks to chick flicks! Are You Dating a Loser?

How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #2: His Car is Clean

If a man likes a woman, he prepares for her!

His kitchen is clean, his car is washed and vacuumed and his shirt is freshly pressed. He has identified where you’re going for dinner and he’s driven by, just to be sure he won’t get lost.

When I was younger, I would practice pronouncing the names of different wines before a date. I was clueless about wine. I’m the guy who pronounced the “s” in “Chablis.” [image error]

How to be More Confident Around Guys You Like: 8 Confident Woman Traits

Are you wondering how to be more confident around guys you like? Do you want to know what Mr. Right is looking for? These eight confident woman traits will draw the man of your dreams to you!

I know how frustrated you get when you meet the man you perceive to be Mr. Right and then in a few short dates, he ghosts you. You thought everything was going along great but he has disappeared into thin air.

Now, you’re emailing me and wondering what happened. Why did he suddenly vanish? The painful truth is he didn’t find you to be the confident woman he desires, he got bored or he got spooked.

Women always ask me what Mr. Right is looking for in a woman and my answer is always the same – they are looking for a confident woman. Many times, though, when I deliver this answer, they look at me even more perplexed. How does a man define a confident woman? How can a man tell if you’re a confident woman?

The answer, as you will soon discover, is not as scary or complex as you might imagine. After all, men are pretty simple beings. What you need to know is that you draw in people who are most like you. This goes for your friendships and your romantic relationships.

If you’re drawing in guys who are a hot mess, you might need to spend some time cleaning house. You can get a great start by reading the eight confident woman traits I have outlined for you today.

Confident Woman Trait #1: You’re Busy

No confident man wants a beck-and-call girl. This type of girl never has anything going on. She is available for a last minute date because she sits at home all night watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.

I get pushback when I tell a woman she needs to tell a guy she can’t go on a date with him at the last minute. You think you’re sending him a signal that you’re not interested in him. This isn’t true if you handle the invitation properly.

When your schedule is naturally busy, you are able to reply to his last-minute date request with something like this, “I’m sorry, Jon, but I have Yoga tonight. Can we reschedule for Thursday?” Your job is to fill your schedule with activities. This will also help you with the following seven steps!

Confident Woman Trait #2: You’re Interesting

A confident man is drawn to a woman who is interesting. Men love the mystery and challenge of getting to know a woman. The more interesting, and busy your life is, the more intrigued he is and the more he wants to keep dating you.

A confident woman is involved in her community. She is volunteering for causes she believes in. She is active with exercise and has a solid base of trusted female friends. She takes classes to learn new things and has hobbies to keep her busy on snowy winter days.

When you tell a man you spend your Saturday mornings walking dogs at the local shelter and your afternoons learning how to scuba dive for your upcoming trip to Australia, he’s going to be begging to learn more about you!

Confident Woman Trait #3: You Challenge Him With Your Own Opinions

That beck-and-call girl, or rest stop, isn’t challenging to Mr. Right. He might date her for a while, but he never considers her marriage material. She’s the girl he bides his time with.

Men admire it when you have your own opinions about things. Rest stops don’t have opinions. A guy says, “I’m really psyched about the big race next weekend. I think Kyle Bush will take it home!” The rest stop says “Yeah. Me too”. The confident woman, or keeper, says, “I don’t know, I think Jimmie Johnson can whip him any day!”

Now, you’re off to the races. Even if you don’t give a hoot about NASCAR, you just offered up some friendly banter. Of course, you’ll need to back your opinion but a confident woman has already done this.

Become More Confident Around Guys You Like

Confident Woman Trait #4: You Have Boundaries

If you want to learn how to be more confident around guys you like, then you learn to set boundaries. Women often think they shouldn’t stand up for their boundaries, especially in a new relationship. You don’t want to scare the guy off with rules. The truth is there are many reasons Why Rules and Boundaries Matter In Romantic Relationships.

To appear more confident around guys you like, set and maintain your boundaries. This doesn’t just apply to sex, although that is a big boundary!

If a man is late all the time, doesn’t call when he should, or attempts to sleep with you – there will be consequences. You cannot waver on this. If you do, any respect he had for you will be gone.

Many men will test these boundaries and they will receive no resistance. The next morning, it’s, “Bye! Bye!” You, as a confident woman will show this man the door.

Confident Woman Trait #5: You Are Financially Secure

Money is a big deal to men. It’s how we prove we can provide for our family. To be more confident around men, you need to be financially secure yourself.

This doesn’t mean you need to be rich. It just means you need to be able to pay for your own half of the date or treat a man to a cup of coffee.

Women give me a lot of pushback on this one but it’s true. Ultimately, yes, a man wants to take care of his family and you may be his family some day but for now, he doesn’t want to date a gold-digger.

When you’re out on a date, especially a first or second date, offer to pay your share. If he pays, offer to pick up the next one.

Confident Woman Trait #6: You Rarely Get Jealous

A confident woman doesn’t compare herself to other women. Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem, immaturity and insecurity.

With confidence, you know that your uniqueness and inner beauty are enough for any worthy man. You know your strengths and you know how to use them to your advantage.

You wouldn’t be caught out on a date with a man who checks out other women constantly anyway – well, you wouldn’t date him more than once. A guy who does this all the time needs to be shown the door! He is not worthy of you!

Being a confident woman means having self-worth and knowing your value. You have unique gifts and abilities which a great man will be eager to explore! Hitting him with Jealousy Will Destroy Your Relationship.

Confident Woman Trait #7: You Allow A Man To Take Control

As a confident woman, you recognize a man’s desire to provide for you by paying at times, opening the car door for you and helping out in general.

You know allowing a man to feel in control pays off in dividends later in the relationship. Your ego can be set aside in lieu of a man’s.

I understand you’re a strong, confident woman who may be in control at work. Many of the women who email me fit this mold to a “T”. What you need to understand is that if you take control in the relationship too, your guy will feel emasculated. Ultimately, he will leave.

Instead, let him plan some dates or choose what you do on a Friday night sometimes. Allow him to choose which shirt he wears when you go out.

Confident Woman Trait #8: You Have Options

Women often go on a first date with a guy and they’re all in. A confident woman takes a step back, waiting to see if he is worthy of her first!

When you are confident around a man you like, you’re busy and interesting. You don’t fall for the first breathing mammal you meet. You date a couple of men at a time until one surfaces as the winner!

For women who have just started dating after a lengthy relationship, this is an easy trap to fall into! You’re accustomed to having a man in your life and you want to fill that void.

I encourage you to date many men before you settle on one. Date a type of guy you never thought you’d be interested in. Check out what your options are before you settle.

Wrapping Up How To Be More Confident Around Guys You Like

These eight confident woman traits are all great ways to draw in the guy you like. Don’t be concerned if you feel like you don’t have them all! Not many women do!

Many of the women I talk to daily tell me they are very confident at work but feel very low confidence when it comes to their dating life. You are not alone!

One great thing you can do is become Comfortable In Your Own Shoes!

Once you can hit all eight of these, Mr. Right, or possibly multiple Mr. Right’s will be knocking down your door. Good men are drawn to confident women. They can sniff out low confidence as well as they can sniff out pizza and beer.

To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man, and this means how they view confident women!

The post How to be More Confident Around Guys You Like: 8 Confident Woman Traits appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Will No Contact Make Him Move On?

Gregg here at WhoHoldsTheCardsNow.com and today I’m talking about getting your ex boyfriend or husband back and will no contact make him move on or reconsider.

In my best seller How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, I have your answer. It’s a combination of both. If you go totally no contact, he could go out of sight out of mind on you. I have a better tactic. I call it slip in slip out. After writing my special letter which I template inside my book, you contact him about getting your stuff back, for example, or asking where you stayed when you went to Aruba 2 years earlier when you were together.

This is brilliant. You are now telling him that you are ready to move on too and it’s not just him.  He can’t believe you want your stuff back so soon and wonders who you’re going to Aruba with. You see, he thinks because he dumped you that you should be grieving and still at his beck and call. You’re not. At least you are not letting him know.

Guys don’t like to lose their stuff and you are part his stuff. When you send my special goodbye letter and then slip in slip out with statements confirming that it’s over, you turn the break up on its head and confuse your ex. This is a good thing. We are toying with the male psyche and giving you your best odds of stirring his emotion and getting him to capitulate.

You are doing the exact opposite of what you want to do and what he thinks you will do.

Couple more points. You do this with confidence. Stay upbeat with your messages and don’t act at all angry. Be happy!  If you can’t, then you delay until can. Again, the steps are inside the book to get you to a stage where you can pull this off.

Now, communication is left open for him so he can reconsider and, because you sent the powerful letter with the one powerful memory, he’s thinking about you.

So you see, I am giving you the best of both worlds. Contact but the right kind of contact.

The book is called How to Get Your Ex Back Fast. It’s only for women and it’s got 270+, 4 ½ star average, Amazon reviews so you know it works. Click the link and get it before it’s too late!

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Is He Right For Me?

Ming asked, Is He Right For Me?

Gregg, I have a great 2 ½ year relationship going but I am worried, and I am hoping you can guide me and help me decide if he is right for me.  I am 33 years old and he the same. My guy is awesome in many ways – he treats me well, he showers me with love and he has the same family goals and timing as I do. The sex is great and my family loves him too.

So what’s wrong, you ask?

I just don’t feel that he is my soulmate. We don’t “click” quite as well as I think we should. I have dated crappy men that were more compatible with me it seems. Our highs were higher, if you will, then they are with my current guy. Of course, our lows were terrible.

Am I making any sense? Is he right for me? Am I just getting cold feet? Is there a way that I can get him to work on this and “get me” more?

Your avid follower,

Ming

Hi Ming, thanks for your question. It’s a dandy!

As a dating coach who concentrates on women and their dealings with men, I have come to learn one thing: A woman needs to trust her intuition!

If you are asking me this question, then something is wrong. Granted you told me very little in those 150 words but they screamed that this is the wrong guy to spend the rest of your life with. He’s the wrong guy because if you are feeling this way now, then you won’t be spending the rest of your life with him.

Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I must be honest. Compatibility is super important. Chemistry arrives on day one, and a woman should know that her guy is the right man to spend the rest of her life with soon thereafter.

I find many women just don’t want to let a guy go because they feel their man is such a great catch and they might not be able to find a better man. They don’t want some other woman to have him.

That’s not good enough.

That leads to a divorce and misery in, say, three years. Chemistry comes naturally and can’t be “fixed.” Sure, he could grow on you, but don’t you think he should have by now?

I would prefer that the sex be just fair – that is something that can be improved upon, compatibility less so.

Dig deep Ming. Really think things through and ask yourself, “Is he right for me?” before you walk down the aisle. There is no rush. I would highly recommend that you take some time out from this relationship and seek clarity from the outside looking in. If you do, I bet your situation will become clearer.

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How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life

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How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life

One of the most popular blog posts on this site is 5 Tell-Tale Signs You’re Being Used by a Man. Sadly, I’m not surprised by this. There are men, and women, out there whose sole purpose in life is to see how many people they can pick up – and subsequently dump. Why dump? Because they aren’t in this for a relationship. It’s all about the quest.

Oh, sure, some do think they’re in it to find a relationship. That’s why I have two categories for these types of men – losers and users. The users are what many call players and they are just in it for the sport of picking up women. Losers genuinely think they want a relationship but for one reason or another, are incapable of truly committing.

Why are you attracting these men into your life?
You Attract People Similar to Yourself

This goes against the old cliché, opposites attract. A confident, happy man will seek out a happy, confident woman. An unhappy man with low self-esteem and low confidence will seek out a similar woman. A confident man will never purposefully seek out a woman with low self-esteem and confidence. People don’t want to be around others who bring them down.

Your Body Language Screams Date Me (to a low-Confidence Man)

How can a man tell you’ve got low confidence? It’s in how you dress. Your clothing probably is not flattering to your body. You may feel self-conscious about that little bit of belly you have from becoming a mom so you wear baggy clothing. It might be in how you walk. Do you keep your head up, smiling at others when they walk by or do you spend your time looking at the floor? Do you take time to make your hair look like you care? Are your shoulders slouched or do you walk tall? All of this, plus how you act, tell a guy all about your self-confidence without him even saying a word to you.

You Don’t Have Boundaries

If you do meet a loser or a user, you will allow him to walk all over you. You will probably cave to his desire to have sex with you way too soon in the relationship. You completely cave to anything he wants without any regard for your own values.

You drop Everything when He Calls

Mr. Supposedly Wonderful calls and asks you out for a date that night. You’ve got plans but you drop them in an instant to be with him. Let me tell you something. If Mr. Supposedly Wonderful is calling you at the last minute, he either had other plans that got cancelled and he’s looking for a last-minute hookup or he doesn’t value you or your time and assumes you’re always available to him.

How do You STOP Attracting Losers?
Take a Dating Break

If you feel like the only guys you attract are losers and users, it’s time for a dating break. You’re just on a hamster wheel of dating right now where you date a loser, get dumped and find another. You’re frustrated and stuck on an endless cycle of dating the wrong men. It’s time to re-evaluate and recharge.

Get Your Confidence Back Up

Life beats us down. Dating loser after loser beats us down further. You begin to feel like a failure. Many women I coach tell me they feel a high level of confidence professionally but low confidence when it comes to dating. This is due to all of the negative experiences you’ve had and the verbal or mental abuse you’ve received from these losers throughout the years.

I have a great tool for you to build your confidence back up! Comfortable in Your Own Shoes is my confidence book for women. It’s written just for you to help you dig out of the rut of negativity you’ve got in your life.

Decide What Type of Guy You REALLY Want

Rather than accepting every date request that comes along, be discerning. Choose men carefully. It’s okay to date a guy once or twice to figure out what kind of man he is but this doesn’t mean you’ve committed to a relationship.

Women get frustrated when men flake after a couple of dates but what is happening is that the man simply decides he’s not interested. Since you’re not in a relationship yet, he doesn’t feel he owes you anything, including an explanation. You are free to do the same.

Don’t Get Invested too Fast

Women tend to go all-in when they meet a man. One date where you feel chemistry and you’re buying copies of The Knot and looking for a wedding dress. Slow down and get to know him. This means no sex for a while. A player will want one thing out of you – sex. While all men want to have sex with the women they date, they do value you more if you make them wait and earn it. Only you know how long is long enough, but I can tell you it’s not in the first 10 dates. It takes this long to truly figure out whether this is a man who is worthy of you allowing sex.

Slow things down

Look at dating not as steps to the altar but as a process to learn more about a man. Likewise, don’t share your entire life’s story in 3 minutes or less. Reveal new things about yourself each time you get together. This keeps things interesting and exciting.

Become the Person You Want to Attract

If you want a man who values community, get involved in your community. P.S. this is probably where you’ll also meet him! If you want a man who’s into animal rights, get involved in that. If you want someone who is compassionate, be compassionate. Remember, earlier I said like attracts like. You need to become the man you want to date – except prettier and better-smelling!

Wrapping Up

If you’re reading this article, you needed the advice. While it’s difficult to look at ourselves in the mirror and examine what might be wrong with our approach, that’s what needs to be done. In order to improve your dating life, you need to take an honest look at what you’re doing to attract these losers. What positive changes do you need to make in your life in order to attract winners?

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How to Build Attraction with Text Towards a Guy You Like

How to build attraction with text

Destroy Boredom, Shatter All Things Conventional!

You: So, what’s going on with you these days?

Him: Not a lot. Just working, going to school.

I’m going to stop here. I could make that a long text conversation, but I felt repulsed by where it was going. You do know where it’s going right? To the relationship graveyard! It’s going nowhere. There’s nothing in that first comment that did anything to build mystery, challenge or attraction into the relationship.

There are two huge mistakes in this short conversation. First, mystery and challenge are simply not created by asking general questions. How was your day? What are you doing right now? What’s the weather like? These types of statements are not attraction makers, they’re attraction killers.

Your goal, when texting a man, is to keep things fun and fresh by using some of the techniques we’re discussing. You can’t do anything fun or fresh with “What are you doing right now?” If a man even bothers to answer this, it’s a cursory response and he rolled his eyes as he was typing. In other words, he responded to be nice, not because he’s actually interested in the conversation.

The second problem with this exchange is that nobody wants to answer a question like that in a text. Even if you have the most easy-to-use handheld on the planet, you’re going to get sick of typing out a response the size of Moby Dick pretty quickly. Keep it simple and stick with precise questions that he can answer without too much trouble.

You want short, fun and challenging interactions. You want to be bold, quirky, funny and direct! Forget the boring stuff and show him your flirty side. You have tons of time to figure out a response, so relax and wait for it to come to you!

You: How was traffic into Boston this morning? Still woozy from the CO2 fumes?

Him: Haha! Yep. Sucked in fumes for 2 hours.

There we go! This text is focused and you added in a bit of cheekiness as well.

Stick with the Mysterious, Avoid the Vague!

When it comes to men and relationships, mysterious is always good. The more you can make him wonder what you’re doing, the better. Mystery is invoked by staying partly aloof. You want him to think you’re busy doing lots of fun things, or maybe seeing other interesting people!

Him: What are we doing this weekend darling?

You: Dance class on Friday night. Wine tasting with Jennifer Sat. Crazy busy! Maybe Sunday, I’ll let you know.

Do you see what happened? This text creates mystery by avoiding some boring comment like “Not sure, what are you doing?” You’re obviously busy, and by the sound of it you’re meeting people who are not him at your dance class. Trust me, he’s going to see you as a serious challenge, adding to the attraction.

Responses like these, however, are completely unacceptable:

“Waiting to hear from you.”

“I’m up for anything, what do you want to do?”

“Kind of tired, long week. What’s up?”

Similarly, keep ugly vague words out of your texts. Maybe, kind of, perhaps, sort of – they’re all too vague! Stick to language that’s alive and bold, and you’ll become a master at texting in no time.

Try these two tips to build attraction with text to a guy you like and get results!

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Texting Pros and Cons for Women

Below are my top texting pros and cons for women. Texting is how the masses are communicating today. Many of my readers are just getting back into the dating world and they are intimidated texting with a new guy they just met and really like!

Pros:

Texting does not require you to be fast on your feet with responses – wittiness can come because you have time to respond, whereas face-to-face, you are left with a dry conversation if the wit doesn’t come
Nervousness doesn’t come through in a text, so sweaty palms, shaky hands, a quivering voice can go unnoticed when you type out a message
When you practice ‘texting similarity’ with a guy, he perceives you as being in sync and your relationship is more harmonious
You can be flirtatious in between dates, keeping things a little hot
A quick “I love you” or “Just thinking about you” text during the day can remind someone you care about them
Texting can be a quick response if you cannot talk to someone at that moment but want them to know you’re aware they’re trying to contact you
When you’re separated by distance, texting can be an inexpensive and quick way to stay in touch
Women use texting to apologize, work out problems or bring up issues to be dealt with later

Cons:

You might find yourself in relationship texting maintenance mode – the more texts sent, the more that are expected
You cannot decipher the mood of the text, misunderstandings occur easily
Texting can replace face-to-face contact if it is more comfortable, leading to a lack of true time spent together
Heavy texting is associated with both men and women feeling dissatisfied with their relationship
You can find chemistry in texting that then does not exist in person
It is easy to over analyze both the texts you send and those you receive – putting more than necessary weight on the placement or use of exclamation points, capital letters, etc.
You don’t have the advantage of the use of body language to accentuate your message
Your own texting behavior can place labels on you – you’re too needy, you’re too quick or slow to respond, you can’t spell, your language skills are lacking, etc.
You can get caught up in an endless cycle wondering when it will end and who will finally end it
You can stay at a level of casualness in a relationship where it neither declines or advances but just remains status quo
Relationships which rely heavily on texting can be easier to end quickly because there is a lack of intimacy you would only gain spending time together in person
Overuse of technology is leading people to be unable to express emotions in person – they don’t know how because they spend all of their time in emotionless texts and emails versus one-on-one communications where you can see the outcome of what you say or do to someone
Men use texting to distance themselves in a relationship or disengage from deeper intimacy
Texting is a written form of communication which can be recalled later, including in legal battles
Texting is not a good way to deepen a relationship – that requires face-to-face time where intimacy can be built
Too much texting can make you look needy or clingy – stalkerish even
Texts can be edited and therefore can be modified from the original thought – whereas a phone call is out there – you can’t take your words back – so texts can be ‘false’ messages, not true from the heart
You don’t get to know the ‘real’ person, but the version of themselves that they want to send via text – i.e. they can be funnier, seem more relaxed than they are in person

At the core of every amazing relationship (and every great text!) is a conversation built out of challenging the other person. In your case, the guy you like.

That demands a bit of an explanation. To get this explanation, and get tons of examples, get my #1 best selling book called Power Texting Men today!

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Surviving a Breakup in Your 40s

I wanted to write a piece to help a lot of my readers. I chose the age of 40 because I wanted to make it clear that this article is for women who need help surviving a breakup of a long-term relationship.

All breakups hurt, but when you have been a part of a duo for decades it can be especially painful. The years when you took care of yourself are most likely distant memories. You gave and gave and gave.

And now you are alone.

Who do I turn to? What do I do right now? Where is any glimmer of hope?

Let me be your glimmer of hope. I have a few unorthodox ideas.

Ball your eyes out

I’m not kidding. Ball your friggin’ eyes out until you are out of tears. But I want you to do this with one catch: Set a specific time limit on this. Three days or one week, I don’t care, but no longer.

Stop and consider

In between crying you will have sudden points when you stop and act completely normal like nothing ever happened. Your mind is taking a break and not letting you think about him – kind of a self-defensive mechanism.

During one of these timeouts I want you to feel your pain and decide that it is beautiful. That what you are experiencing is a part of love – it’s just the opposite swing of the pendulum. Don’t fight it, embrace it and tell yourself you loved like only a human can and that you are better for it. Realize that the people who really should be crying are the ones that never loved. You did.

And then smile.

Write the letter

Tell him everything. What you loved about him, what you hated, the great times you remember and the shit that you couldn’t stand about him. Add anything else you want to say. Get angry. Yell and scream. Then cry again if you must.

Burn the letter

You didn’t think I was going to have you send it did you? No. This letter isn’t telling him you forgive it’s giving you permission to move on. Do it and feel the finality as you watch the letter burn.

Make a decision

While the letter is still smoldering, tell yourself there is a new and exciting life waiting and ready for you. And that you will love again soon. Tell yourself that it starts tomorrow.

In the morning

Exercise hard. This isn’t about slimming down, it’s about the chemicals that are released into your body that will make you feel stronger and more positive. You need these and they are easy to get by working out hard.

Connect with nature

Don’t ask why, just do it! Go snowshoeing, walk on a beach or get lost on some wonderful hiking trail. Nature cures. Google the why if you need to, I don’t care, but get out there and let your senses take it all in like you have never experienced before. Nature is Gods natural drug – get addicted!

Gather your entourage

This would be your closest friends and family members. Tell then you need them to keep you busy and upbeat. They will know what to do. Stay at their house for a few nights. Go out to eat. Shop. Buy yourself something. Encourage them to take on a new hobby with you. Be alone as little as possible.

Book a vacation

Do it now. You are feeling better and you won’t sulk in Cozumel while skinny dipping!

Embrace the change

Change your life. Change your daily coffee watering hole. Start creating your new and vibrant social life. Change your dress and change your hair – heck why not! Today is the day you get mad and break out. Your ex is dead to you and now you have entered the “You know, I can do a whole lot better than him” stage.

Contact me

You didn’t expect that one, did you? I am a dating and life coach who knows all about reversing the crappy thoughts that your conscious mind is feeding you subconscious. I talk to my readers. Go read my reviews on Amazon.

Surviving a Breakup in Your 40s just got a whole lot easier!

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