Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 14
July 1, 2018
100 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Man
You did it! You landed the perfect guy!
Congratulations!
Now you need some creative ways to express your feelings without saying the three most overused words in the English dictionary.
I Love You.
Guys don’t even understand those three words. Oh, we will say them but most of the time we do because you’ll be angry if we don’t!
We love you when we fix things!
We show our love through actions. Men cut the lawn, stay home when you’re sick, fix things and protect you from the evils of the outside world.
Granted, repairing your car isn’t as romantic as saying I love you, but it’s our way.
So it makes sense for you to show your love with actions too, right? Yes, we like when you say I love you but you can do it better and I have 100 ways to help you!
Many are actions and do not even involve the moving of lips – well, most don’t!
Go ahead and print out 100 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Man and use it for a reference when you want to mix things up and show him new ways to tell him how much you truly love him.
Here are a few creative ways to say I love you:
Start his car on a cold morning
Mirror his behavior
Get up in the morning even if you don’t need to be up yet
Give him his own space in the house – he needs his own man cave!
Do that “freaky thing” he asked you for
Make a big deal out of his Birthday
Don’t fear the mixed CD – give him songs that mean something to him
Give him a massage – then give him sex!
Wear some sexy lingerie
And 91 more!
Pick from the list once a day or once a week and watch him reciprocate as your relationship flourishes!
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The post 100 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Man appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
June 23, 2018
2 Different Kinds of Guys and How to Date Them!
Wouldn’t it be great to identify the different kinds of guys and know which is best for you? Get the pros and cons of two different types below!
It’s no secret – men are hard to classify. Each guy is a mixture of several characteristics, creating their unique personality. Men can change and move into different categories for brief periods of time.
The shy guy can have his outgoing moments, (think alcohol) and the short, over compensating guy can lay off the gym and turn into a momma’s boy for a short time.
Still, guys fall into several major classifications. Identified here are two of my ten different kinds of guys, their pros and cons, and whether or not they’re datable, as well as a few helpful tips on dating each kind of guy!
Ready to have some fun?!?
Different Kinds of Guys | The Over-Compensator
The Over-Compensator can be found at the gym!
This kind of guy fakes his low self-esteem better than most. The Over-Compensator tends to be short and he probably drives a big truck. He likely has larger than life, barbed wire tattoos covering his arms. His truck has a loud exhaust system – on purpose – so he can announce his low self-worth.
This guy will never cry, and he works out every day. He walks with great posture and looks as if he has beehives under his arm pits. Muscle shirts? Oh yeah, even in the winter. This guy smells good, albeit, a little too good. He wears lifts in his shoes but, if you ask him, he’ll say they’re orthotics.
The Over-Compensator eats extremely well, if you like protein. No chips or cookies for this guy – no way. Just a steroid shot in the ass and a power shake for good measure!
The Pros
+ With proper care, this man can improve.
All kidding aside, the Over-Compensator can be a good guy. Many people have low self-esteem, but this man is doing something about it, unlike most of his counterparts.
This kind of guy should get credit for that. He works hard, not only at the gym, but at his job and in his relationships. The Over-Compensator tends to have a good job too. When his ego is stroked a little, he will stop showing off and get down to business.
+ He is a protector
The Over-Compensator will keep you safe. Leave the pit-bull at the animal shelter – you are dating one…no dog food needed (but don’t forget the protein shake)!
The Cons
– His attitude
The Over-Compensator can have an attitude if he doesn’t get his ego stroked. He will be quick to pick a fight with any man who insults or challenges him. This makes him a look a little immature compared to other guys.
– Jealousy
This type of guy tends to be jealous. He has difficulty coping with competition and will always have some shortcomings in this department.
Never make fun of his truck!
– Poor spending habits
This guy is a spender! He spends a lot on material items as part of his attempt to prove to the masses that he is just as good as the next guy. He does much better controlling this impulse when he is with a loving woman.
Is He Datable? How?
The Over-Compensator can be datable. The key is to never make fun of him or his truck until you really know him, and even then, be very careful. This is especially true in the bedroom.
One mention of his small penis and he’s doing more chin-ups and putting even bigger tires on his ’75 Bronco. He has limited funds to begin with, and know your birthday gift will be reduced to a Planet Fitness 5% off membership coupon.
To stroke the Over-Compensator’s ego, let him make the plans. He will be very good at it and very willing. When in public, do not even think of looking at other guys – especially tall guys. If you do, get ready for the street fight.
It’s important to know why this man is overcompensating. It may be based on harmless insecurities like his height, or it could be his limited bank account. It could also be more harmful insecurities like really low self-esteem and drug or alcohol addiction. These can cause anger issues.
He’s 5 foot 2 inches so don’t wear heels!
If you are okay with his reasons for overcompensating, you can begin to build his confidence by showing him that his shortcomings are no big deal to you. The Over-Compensator can be a good man. He is a sensitive man, he just has a few hot button issues that need to be understood and massaged by you.
My Top Pointers for dating the Over-Compensator
Never wear heels – he won’t even walk next to you;
Don’t ask him about the weights in his living room, bedroom, foyer, closet, dining room or bath;
Take advantage of his many mirrors – kneel down and feel free to fix your hair;
Don’t put your feet up on the dash – even if it IS a 75 Bronco – he will get angry;
Ask him daily how many chin-ups he did;
Understand why he is overcompensating and counter this with support.
Get My Best Seller: Manimals: Understanding Different Types of Men and How to Date Them!
Different Kinds of Guys |The Momma’s Boy
This kind of guy is smart, and he will be all in with you, but he will never mention that he lives in the basement of his mother’s house. He has money because, well, he lives in the basement of his mother’s house!
Yep. that was him 35 years ago. Still a Momma’s boy today!
Even if he moves in with you, mom comes with him in some way, shape or form. If you live in, or move to another state, mom will move close by. Decisions? Better check with mom. Kids? Only mom can babysit. Big argument? Mom and her boy will take sides against you.
The interesting thing is that he is a good man. This attachment is his baggage, but it also can be his strength.
The Pros
+ Chivalry
The Momma’s Boy is taught from a young age to treat a woman with respect. This comes from being taught to never disrespect his mom, but it also means that he won’t disrespect you or any other woman. You are very safe with this man. He will open doors for you and protect you from harm.
+ Emotional sharing
The Momma’s Boy is comfortable sharing his emotions and understands women better than other kinds of guys. This allows you talk more freely about your needs than you could with other men. Upset at work? He will want to hear why. Fender bender? He will be there to comfort you.
The Cons
– Privacy
There will be times when you will have very little privacy. Mom will stop by unannounced. She will have little regard for what you are doing and whether you are in the middle of something. Mom knows and takes advantage of the fact that she is number one with Junior.
No amount of locks will keep Mom from visiting!
Dinners and love making will be interrupted by text messages and phone calls and, if you get upset – watch out! You should also be aware that private and personal facts about you and your relationship are probably being shared with mom.
– Meeting her standards
Meeting mom’s high standards for her boy takes a woman with very high self-esteem. She is a master at beating down a lady with low self-esteem. She will be skeptical on almost every level until she feels you are worthy of dating her son.
Is He Datable? How?
The Momma’s Boy can be datable. You need to be prepared to date two people though – mom and Junior. When you ask him for a decision, understand that it will be made only after he talks to mom.
The key is to stay on mom’s good side. If you do, you will win over her heart and his too! As a bonus, all her money comes your way in the form of down payments for a house, luxury cars and anything the kids want.
On the down side, if you piss off mom, you are in trouble! A prenup is a given! She will always have a better lawyer than you and if she tells Junior to dump you – he will have to comply.
Momma’s Boy requires lots of attention
The Momma’s Boy needs love. He is accustomed to getting plenty from mom and trying to shift this responsibility over to you could be difficult. His attachment to his mom can be a huge point of contention between the two of you.
Love this guy, lavish him with attention daily, honor and recognize his bond with his mother and you could win him over for life.
A Momma’s Boy needs nurturing. He will ultimately date and marry a woman who reminds him of his mom. A Momma’s Boys generally date motherly types of women.
He is an emotional man, which means he is very sensitive and sympathetic to others. He might even cry when you cry.
My Top Pointers for dating the Momma’s Boy
Suck up to mom and stay on her good side;
Include mom at the beginning of any decision – you might even ask her first; try something like this: “What do you think your son would like, a Ferrari or a Porsche?”
Pick the most expensive house you can afford and then add 25%…Junior is worth it and mom will make up the difference – just avoid a duplex;
Give this man love daily;
Spend time alone with his mom – this will pay off big time.
Want to learn about all the different kinds of guys and how to date them? Go Here: Different Types of Men
Learn About the Other Kinds of Guys
I had some fun writing Manimals because I got to describe different types of men, whether they’re datable or not and how to date them when they are. Because that didn’t seem like enough, I then profiled several types of women and paired them up. Now, you can identify which type of woman you are and learn which type of man might be the best fit for you!
In addition to these different types of men and women, the second half of the book contains:
Explanations on why you are dating the wrong type of guy now
An in-depth study of what I like to call the Relationship Train To Failure
15 things every woman needs to know about men
My best-ever discussion on what challenge and mystery are, why they’re important and how to use both to your advantage!
The post 2 Different Kinds of Guys and How to Date Them! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
June 14, 2018
10 Questions To Answer Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend
You’re here because you’ve started thinking that moving in with your boyfriend would be a great thing for your relationship. You’ve dated for a while now and you think he might be ‘the one’. Maybe he’s even sent you a few signals along the way to indicate he’s ready. Before we go there, I need to say one thing.
I don’t want to make your guy out to be a schmuck but let me explain one thing to you about men: a man will say and do just about anything to keep a woman and that includes moving in when he doesn’t want to or even buying an engagement ring for a woman he has no intention of marrying.
Pass my moving in with your boyfriend checklist and you will be happy!
I say it often, I’m not always proud of my male counterparts. We can be a lazy bunch and it is easier to say or do anything to keep a woman than it is to go out and find another one who will put up with all of our idiosyncrasies.
You could have a good guy on your hands so let’s examine whether or not you should move in with your boyfriend. Consider this your “moving in with your boyfriend checklist.” Here are ten questions you should ask yourself, or your boyfriend before taking the dive.
Why Do You Want To Move In Together?
This is perhaps the most important question to ask. Unless you’re planning on sharing a home but not a bed, the answer should not be ‘to save money’. Moving in together is a big step in a relationship. It is a commitment and not to be taken lightly.
Be honest about your reasons. Do you want to advance your relationship to the next level? Are you hoping to learn whether or not you want to get married? Think long and hard about your true reasons for taking this step and then have a discussion with your guy.
You’re making, at the least, a 12-month commitment with a lease so you need to be sure you’re both doing this for the right reason.
“Uh, ummm I’m doing it because you said you wanted to” isn’t acceptable.
Do You Want The Same Things?
Do you both want the same things?
The first question you need to ask yourself before moving in with your boyfriend is whether or not you want the same things. What do you expect to be the outcome of moving in together? Do you want marriage? Do you want children? Or, are you just in the market for someone to live with, without expectations of marriage?
This is a question you must discuss with him, but not before you answer it for yourself. Be honest with yourself. Don’t answer in the way you think will get you closer to him. Know going in what you want out of your relationship with him.
Once you’ve figured that out, make sure you both want the same things. Each of you need to be honest with yourselves and one another.
How Will You Handle The Finances?
Before moving in together, you need to determine who will handle the finances. Will you put all of the utilities and lease in both names or one? Will you create a joint checking account or divide things up between you?
Money can become a great divider in a relationship if you don’t sort things out. One of you will feel like you’re carrying more of the burden than the other. Make sure you know what you can afford and look into all of the expenses ahead of time so nobody is blindsided.
Another thing to keep in mind where finances are concerned is to make sure you’re not getting involved with someone whose credit score is in the toilet. Yours should already be in good shape because you know how important I’ve said finances are in a relationship.
How Will You Divide The Chores?
Where do you stand on household chores?
Who hasn’t seen The Break-Up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston? What is her number one issue with him, other than his obvious immaturity? He doesn’t help with anything around their apartment. While she slaves away, he plays video games and forgets to get the lemons.
While it’s funny when we see it on the big screen, this is the stuff that causes plates to go airborne and cabinet doors to become unhinged. It can be a huge friction point.
You probably both work so be reasonable about what to expect from one another. Try making the chores fun instead of drudgery. When you talk about this, you may find that he doesn’t mind doing the dishes if you cook or vice versa. Just have the talk.
Where Do You Both Need To Compromise?
In any relationship, compromise is a big deal. Up until now, your biggest compromises were where to eat dinner and which movie to see. Now that you’re thinking about moving in together, there will be a lot more areas in which compromise will be necessary.
Where do you both stand on cleanliness?
I turn again to a movie, but an oldie. When Harry Met Sally, they had friends who ended up living together. If you’ve seen it, the wagon wheel table scene sticks in your mind for sure.
Billy Crystal losing his sh*t over a table is just classic!
Don’t let things get this far. Get a storage unit to store things you’re not quite ready to part with. Who has the couch you’ll use? Whose bed?
What of his are you willing to let in if he allows your entire shoe collection?
How Will You Handle Disagreements?
Now that you’ll be living together, you can’t each retreat to your own homes when you have a fight. You need to set up a plan ahead of time. I suggest that you each claim a space where you can retreat to cool off. If you’ve got the space available in the apartment, you can each choose a separate room to use.
Men need time after an argument to lick their wounds and you need time to cool your emotions. No productive conversation ever came out of highly emotional situations.
If you don’t have space in your apartment for both of you to retreat, make another plan like one of you will head out with friends, to the library, gym or spa. Give yourselves time and then sit down to discuss things calmly.
Are You Willing To Live With One Another’s Idiosyncrasies?
This is another biggie. You know there are things about him that bug you and I have no doubt there are things you do that drive him nuts. And these are the only things you know about!
What you need to determine now is whether or not you can live with those idiosyncrasies. If you can’t, you need to talk them through. There is nothing wrong with a conversation that starts out with, “Do you think you can set your phone aside during dinner?” or “I’d really appreciate it if you’d lower the toilet seat after you use it.”
I snore, so I get sent down the hall to sleep!
By the same token, when he asks you to change, you need to decide whether or not he’s worth you putting in the effort. Change happens because we want to change, not because someone wants us to.
Are You Both On The Same Page About What Clean Means?
If you’re a neat freak and he’s a Messy Marvin, you’re doomed for big arguments. Before you move in with your boyfriend, you need to determine what each of you thinks of as clean. This is another area where you both may need to compromise.
Be clear on what you define as clean and hear him out. If he’s OCD about having the kitchen counters clean, can you live with that? Can you struggle through a week of a dirty bathroom or does it need to be spot-cleaned? Does anyone have an allergy that needs to be addressed with cleaning?
When you each know what the other expects, there are no surprises. When all of his t-shirts are piled up at the end of the bed, remember that you agreed to step over them.
Moving In With Your Boyfriend | Cats or Dogs?
There are cat people. There are dog people and there are animal people. I don’t know why cat people and dog people can’t get along but, sadly, they can’t. You get together and you want to get a cute furry pet together. You’re thinking Yorkie, he’s thinking Siamese.
Is he a dog person?
Discuss your pet preferences. This is an important thing to do before you get a place together anyway because if you want a dog or a cat, it will limit your options. Some places only allow dogs up to 35 or 40 pounds.
Know what you both want in this area and, if you do get a pet, who will take responsibility for what? Who’s buying food? Which one is paying the vet bills? Who’s walking and picking up Fido’s poo?
What Night Is Reserved For Date Night?
People often give up their date nights when they get married or move in together. This is a huge mistake. Just because you live together doesn’t mean you’re spending that much more time together, and the time you do spend is now spent on chores more often than not.
Set aside one night a week for a date night. This night is untouchable. You don’t schedule Zumba and he doesn’t go out with his buddies on this night. This is a technology-free night where you sit down and talk, like you did when you weren’t living together.
Issues of the house are off-limits on date night, as is arguing. This is a time to connect, share your week, make plans and just enjoy one another.
There You Have It – Your Moving in with Your Boyfriend Checklist of Questions
Please, please, do you self a favor and get these 10 questions answered before moving in with your boyfriend. If the two of you can sit down and talk through these 10, you’ll be well on your way to a successful experience.
The biggest thing you need to remember as you talk is that compromise will be necessary, from both of you.
Be honest with yourself and with one another and talk things through. If an argument erupts, stop the conversation and save it for another day. Don’t do this if you can’t agree on the topics above. They will ultimately be deal breakers.
The post 10 Questions To Answer Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
June 3, 2018
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? 5 Guys Chime in with Your Answer
Sally emailed me and asked this: “Gregg, lately I have noticed that the last two guys I dated, one I liked and one I really didn’t, seemed to ignore me. I’m not a chaser and I didn’t do anything creepy to scare them off. Why do guys ignore me? -any thoughts?”
I decided to ask my personal male friends about this one and get their perspective.
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #1: He Is Trying To Play things Cool
We all agreed on this one. A guy will be hesitant to show his feelings for you, even though he likes you. Men are insecure too. A guy just hopes you will show him signs so he can reciprocate. What happens? You both think the other isn’t into you, so you each take this as rejection.
Another reason he may be trying to play it cool is because he may be experiencing emotions he’s uncomfortable with. He’s not really ignoring you – he’s processing these new emotions.
To move past this awkward stage, one of you needs to show clear interest. In the early stages of meeting a guy, I say go overboard so he gets it. Then, you can back off and let him pursue.
How To Crack The Code Of Men’s Feelings
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #2: His Ego Got Hurt
One negative statement can send a man off to his mancave! If you say something negative that pertains to his skills in the bedroom, physical features, lack of a good job, or motivation, it could send him reeling.
Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings?
Scold him and he will withdraw!
The funny thing is that you probably have no idea how easily a man’s feelings can be hurt. You don’t understand how fragile the male ego can be in these areas. You see men as being strong – they don’t get hurt like women do.
This is wrong. Men do get hurt and when they do, it takes them longer to recover because they aren’t comfortable processing those emotions. They don’t share these emotions with their male friends most of the time like you do.
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #3: I Thought She was Taken
My single friend, Glen came up with the answer to this question and we all agreed. When a man sees a woman with one man or a group of men, he assumes she is dating one of them.
You might think your flirting with him will tell him otherwise but the truth is that if you’re with another man, all other men in the room will think you’re trying to make the other guy jealous. He will ignore you and move on.
If you’re a woman who has a lot of male friends, you need to forget meeting Mr. Right when you’re all out together. The best solution is to out with your girlfriends and leave the guys back to watch sports and eat pizza!
Body Language That Says He Likes You
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #4: I’m To Afraid I’ll Get Shot Down In Front Of My Friends
Guys fear rejection so they will ignore women
While we all laughed at this answer, it’s true! A guy will ignore you because of his insecurities around his friends. The last thing a man wants to do is approach a woman he finds attractive and be rejected – especially around his friends.
A man wants a sure bet. He needs to know that when he approaches you, you will not ignore him. To do this, you need to make it obvious you like him by smiling, walking by him and leaving space near you so he can approach.
Men are not mind readers! What you think is obvious he thinks is directed to the guy next to him! Make it clear that you like him.
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #5: He Just Doesn’t Care About Your Shoes!
My friend Kevin was brutally honest – apologies to his wife if she’s reading! A man’s patience for listening to you talk about topics he doesn’t understand or care about is very limited.
I had an ex who went on and on about the shoes she bought and how the outfit matched the shoes and how the price was so great she just had to buy the whole deal. I couldn’t have cared less.
All I wanted her to do was wear the outfit and stop talking about it. I didn’t care that it all matched or that it was a great bargain.
A man cares that you look great but he doesn’t care how you got there. He wants to show off his great-looking girlfriend to his buddies, but he is clueless about matchy-matchy outfits.
8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women To Answer
Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #6: He Got Jealous
When asked why he ignores his girlfriend, my friend Chris said it’s because he’s competitive. He doesn’t like to see other men flirting with his girlfriend. This is true of all men. While he wants other men to be jealous of him because he has the best girl in the room, he does not want to feel that jealousy himself!
What a man wants is for you to say, “Sorry but I already have a great boyfriend” to the man who is flirting with her. An added bonus would be a kick in the groin, but he knows, deep down inside that you’re not going to do that.
At the same time, his jealousy tells you something important. Here are 15 Tell-Tale Signals To Tell You A Guy Likes You.
So Sally, I hope I have helped answer your question and you now have a better understanding of why guys ignore the women they like.
The post Why Do Guys Ignore Me? 5 Guys Chime in with Your Answer appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
May 22, 2018
We Slept Together Now What? 10 Ways to Recover
I got an email recently from a concerned reader. The essence of her email was, “Gregg Help! We slept together now what?” Don’t panic. Even though you woke up this morning lying in bed with an almost total stranger snoring next to you, all is not lost.
I’m not here to judge you. Hey, we’ve all been there at one point or another. I just want you to know what your options are and how to best handle this situation if you like this guy.
To understand your dilemma, you need to understand men. Guys look for sex and then love. They look to have fun in the moment.
Women look for milestones to prove love:
We slept together
I met his friends
I met his family
He took me away
You think these milestones mean he is falling in love. What you don’t understand is that most good men are clueless when it comes to milestones. When a man first meets you, he is interested in one thing – getting to know you and having fun doing it!
When you wake up next to a guy, you may be feeling you’re already in a real relationship, but he is only thinking about how much fun he just had.
What can you do, now that you slept with him?
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #1
Get out of there! Don’t try to make excuses for yourself. Forget the “I’ve never done this before in my life” speech. He’s heard it at least a few times before so even if it is true, he won’t believe you.
I slept with him too soon how to fix it?
Don’t bother with a note, glowing about what a great time you had and please, don’t try to give him a backrub. He probably doesn’t want one. As quietly as you can, grab your stuff and leave.
If he wakes up and offers coffee and a bagel, you can accept, but be brief and then leave. Say you’ve got a busy day and keep moving. Be kind of course, but go! If he’s awake, a little peck on the lips is fine. One final thought – don’t even think about discussing a second date – yet.
Learn More About How To Gracefully Exit A One-Night Stand
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #2
Don’t assume all is lost! At this point, he’s probably thinking you do this with other guys. He may feel he doesn’t want to chase you any more – the relationship isn’t special. It lacks mystery and challenge.
What you need to do is show him you had fun, just like he did. Don’t make more out of it than it was. Don’t start talking commitment. Don’t believe you’re in a serious relationship. Relax and enjoy the ride just like he is.
Your gut will tell you to shoot him an email or text, again trying to explain yourself. Don’t. This is a huge red flag – on it is printed “I have no confidence”. He won’t judge you as much on the first date sex as he will on what you do after. Remain calm and cool!
Be More Confident Around Guys You Like
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #3
Don’t apologize! Send him a confident text instead
Now that you’ve let him know you were just having fun, it’s time to draw him back into the chase. This could be your hardest move. You must continue to play it cool. Don’t reach out to him. Let him reach out to you. If he does, he’s still interested. If, after a couple of weeks, you haven’t heard from him, it’s time to remind him you’re around.
You do this with a cheeky, confident text. It might go something like this, “Hey Gregg! I’m going to Jasper’s this Saturday to grab some wings! You in?”
Skip the emoticons. Be brief and casual. You’re going to be there already if he wants to come. This shows confidence. This draws him back into chase mode if he’s still interested.
How To Make A Guy Chase You Using Male Psychology
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #4
Before your first date, you probably texted like crazy. Maybe he even texted a couple times after you slept with him, but now, the texts are slowing down or they’re gone altogether. This means you’ve lost some credibility with him but you can get it back!
You must remain cool. Don’t panic and start blasting him with texts. Instead, wait at least two weeks, if not three or four. If you’ve got history together, wait two weeks, otherwise, wait three or four. What you want to do now is accidentally bump into him somewhere like the gym or someplace you know he hangs out. Be casual and say “Hi” as if nothing happened. Now, he’s got you back on his mind and that’s right where you want to be.
How To Build Attraction With Text Towards A Guy You Like
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #5
Ask him to join you and your friends
If he responds to your attempts to reach out, you can slide into a temporary position as friends. You needed to be there first and now is your chance to reboot. Much like your last recovery move, this one involves shooting him a casual invitation – something like, “Hey Jim, I’m meeting a few friends for pizza at The Pub this Saturday afternoon. Come hang out with us”.
This is a let’s be friends request, not a date. You’re just going to hang out with friends. It takes the pressure off of the relationship and puts you back to having fun together. You’re also taking the pressure off by making it a daytime activity. If he fails to respond, move on. He’s either not quality or he’s already moved on himself.
How To Make Him Want More After A One Night Stand
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #6
If he asks you on an official second date, it’s important to reestablish your boundaries. This date is key in letting him know you’re not going to sleep with him again until he has earned that place in your life.
The best way to do this is go on a date which doesn’t lend itself to sex afterward. Go on a day date or out to a restaurant or concert somewhere. Meet him there so he doesn’t end up at your place after. Don’t say something like, “Well let’s not let the same thing happen this time”. If he tries to get into your pants on the second date, it’s time to give him the heave-ho! Set your boundaries and hold onto them. If he respects you, he’ll respect your boundaries. If not, move on!
Setting Boundaries In A Relationship
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #7
Look hot! He knows where to find you
Even though you only had one date with this guy, you can bet you were, and probably still are on his radar screen. Whether it’s mutual friends on social media or common interests or haunts, he knows where to find you if he wants to. Play this to your advantage. Don’t worry about looking good for him. Look good for any man.
The last thing he wants is for another man to steal you away. If he sees you out, looking hotter than ever, he knows other guys are seeing you too. Now I’m not saying go to the grocery store in heels and a tight skirt. Make sure he sees that you’re still on the market and if he wants to be your man, he’d better get busy letting you know it!
Scientifically Proven Ways To Become More Attractive To Men
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #8
It’s time to get busy. Women have a tendency to go all in early on in a relationship. Even when you feel you’ve made a mistake by sleeping with him, you don’t compensate by falling head-first into relationship mode. Instead, get back into your hobbies if you have some. If not, it’s time to find a hobby. Get passionate about something like Special Olympics or animal rights.
When you’re busy, you’re not only building confidence but your mind is occupied and you’re less focused on this guy and whether or not he still wants to date you. Being busy also helps you keep from looking like you want him more than he wants you. When he reaches out, reward him by honoring his request but don’t be the one to reach out first.
Benefits Of Having A Hobby
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #9
If and when the next time comes for sex, be ready to knock his socks off. Since this next time will be after a few dates and after he proves himself to be worthy of another time in the sack with you, you will have learned more about him. Find out what it is that attracts him to you. Ask him sometime about his fantasies.
When a next time for sex comes, be ready to fulfill his fantasies. Don’t just have sex, make it an encounter that tells him he’ll never find another woman like you! In that moment, let him know that you’re the woman who wants to please him. Listen and learn so you’re always stepping up your game. Hint: He will most likely return the favor!
How to Keep A Guy Interested After Sleeping With Him
We Slept Together Now What – Recovery Move #10
Check your emotions at the door
This last recovery move will be difficult. You have to check your emotions at the door. You’re probably not going to hear from him for a few days, if not weeks. This can get frustrating quickly. It causes anxiety and maybe even a little anger inside you. Don’t lash out at him. Don’t start shooting him angry texts.
Men don’t know how to manage your emotions. It makes them want to run fast in another direction. A woman cries and a man shrugs his shoulders. Not because he doesn’t care but because he doesn’t know what to do to fix it.
If you’re feeling emotional, call your mother or your girlfriends but don’t text him. It’s okay to feel those things, it’s just not okay to let him know.
How To Stop Being So Emotional In A Relationship
Wrap Up
Yes, you made a blunder when you slept with him on your first date, but it’s not the end-all to your relationship. If you remember to remain cool and calm, you’ll be well on your way to surprising him. Keep your emotions in check and let him text or call you first to let him begin chasing you and remember to be attractive for all men, not just for your guy.
Men have expectations about how a woman will react after a first-date sex night. By doing the opposite of what he expects, you are setting yourself up to be a one-of-a-kind woman, rather than just another one-night stand!
The post We Slept Together Now What? 10 Ways to Recover appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
May 15, 2018
Ask Relationship Advice Anonymously – Specific Advice From a Pro!
I am finding people want to ask relationship advice anonymously. They want a pro. People are willing to pay a small fee for a personal one-one email session if it is private and with someone they trust.
I see major websites that have forums where you can search for dating advice or relationship advice for free, but they miss the mark.
You can try get your question answered anonymously in one of these forums because the question has been “answered” many times before.
But are you willing to take that risk with one of the most important decisions in your life?
This doesn’t work. You could hurt your relationship instead of fixing it.
Here is where I come in.
My name is Gregg Michaelsen. I am a life coach, a dating coach, and a multiple #1 best-selling author having sold a quarter million books. I have worked with Hollywood celebrities and CEO’s. (A few revealed their names once I earned their trust.)
You are just as important to me!
I want to hear your exact situation and question, so I can give you targeted, confidential advice.
You can ask relationship advice anonymously, or you can use you real name. It’s totally up to you.
Where Can I Ask for Advice Anonymously?
Hey, often you don’t want to consult a coworker, your grandmother, your mom, or even your best friend. I get it. You know they mean well but they are not experts in the field of dating and relationship advice.
Furthermore, your anonymity is lost! Do you really want your Mom knowing your guy might have sexual dysfunction or herpes? Probably not.
People have secret affairs, taboo questions, and possibly painful secrets, that they don’t want anyone in their life to know about. They want to ask relationship advice anonymously without judgement.
I will never judge you! My goal is to give you clarity of what is going on in his mind and then some options to fix it.
So shoot on over to my ask a dating expert page and let me help you with one question with a follow-up!
The post Ask Relationship Advice Anonymously – Specific Advice From a Pro! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
May 11, 2018
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You – 15 Tell-Tale Signals
I encourage my readers to contact me by providing my email in each of my books. Because of that, I get dozens of emails every day and at least a one of those emails will be from a woman who asks me how to tell if a guy likes you. It’s like a big mystery to them, trying to figure out the “guy signs he likes you.”
The truth is that men give out gigantic clues, but you are looking in all the wrong places! You’re looking for “female clues” to tell you if a guy likes you. This is your first and biggest mistake!
Guys throw out guy clues and maybe the clues aren’t that gigantic, but they are gigantic in male terms. Read more about how Men Love in Different Ways.
You’re looking for things like whether or not he gives you flowers or if he brings you chocolate on your birthday. You consider it a big milestone when he invites you to meet his family. All you want is for him to sing you a song and tell you how he feels from that guitar he plays so well!
None of that is going to happen. You won’t see most of the milestones or signs you’re looking for. I’ll be the first to admit, men are clueless about these milestones. Now, let me tell you what signals a guy will send if he likes you.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #1: He’s a Nervous Wreck
Women fall for the guy who delivers lines smoothly, is polished and says all the right things. While this guy may seem to be Mr. Right, this is part of the definition of what I call a wet kitten, user or player.
The quality guy who will stick around is not polished or smooth. He’s nervous as heck-just like you!
Like you, he fears rejection! In this Verily article, Guys Tell us What Keeps Them From Asking You Out, learn more reasons why great guys are afraid to approach.
You can tell he likes you if he stumbles a bit in the beginning. Too many women reject a man who is nervous for the guy who is smooth, thanks to chick flicks! Are You Dating a Loser?
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #2: His Car is Clean
If a man likes a woman, he prepares for her!
His kitchen is clean, his car is washed and vacuumed and his shirt is freshly pressed. He has identified where you’re going for dinner and he’s driven by, just to be sure he won’t get lost.
When I was younger, I would practice pronouncing the names of different wines before a date. I was clueless about wine. I’m the guy who pronounced the “s” in “Chablis.” [image error]
May 6, 2018
How to be More Confident Around Guys You Like: 8 Confident Woman Traits
Are you wondering how to be more confident around guys you like? Do you want to know what Mr. Right is looking for? These eight confident woman traits will draw the man of your dreams to you!
I know how frustrated you get when you meet the man you perceive to be Mr. Right and then in a few short dates, he ghosts you. You thought everything was going along great but he has disappeared into thin air.
Now, you’re emailing me and wondering what happened. Why did he suddenly vanish? The painful truth is he didn’t find you to be the confident woman he desires, he got bored or he got spooked.
Women always ask me what Mr. Right is looking for in a woman and my answer is always the same – they are looking for a confident woman. Many times, though, when I deliver this answer, they look at me even more perplexed. How does a man define a confident woman? How can a man tell if you’re a confident woman?
The answer, as you will soon discover, is not as scary or complex as you might imagine. After all, men are pretty simple beings. What you need to know is that you draw in people who are most like you. This goes for your friendships and your romantic relationships.
If you’re drawing in guys who are a hot mess, you might need to spend some time cleaning house. You can get a great start by reading the eight confident woman traits I have outlined for you today.
Confident Woman Trait #1: You’re Busy
No confident man wants a beck-and-call girl. This type of girl never has anything going on. She is available for a last minute date because she sits at home all night watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.
I get pushback when I tell a woman she needs to tell a guy she can’t go on a date with him at the last minute. You think you’re sending him a signal that you’re not interested in him. This isn’t true if you handle the invitation properly.
When your schedule is naturally busy, you are able to reply to his last-minute date request with something like this, “I’m sorry, Jon, but I have Yoga tonight. Can we reschedule for Thursday?” Your job is to fill your schedule with activities. This will also help you with the following seven steps!
Confident Woman Trait #2: You’re Interesting
A confident man is drawn to a woman who is interesting. Men love the mystery and challenge of getting to know a woman. The more interesting, and busy your life is, the more intrigued he is and the more he wants to keep dating you.
A confident woman is involved in her community. She is volunteering for causes she believes in. She is active with exercise and has a solid base of trusted female friends. She takes classes to learn new things and has hobbies to keep her busy on snowy winter days.
When you tell a man you spend your Saturday mornings walking dogs at the local shelter and your afternoons learning how to scuba dive for your upcoming trip to Australia, he’s going to be begging to learn more about you!
Confident Woman Trait #3: You Challenge Him With Your Own Opinions
That beck-and-call girl, or rest stop, isn’t challenging to Mr. Right. He might date her for a while, but he never considers her marriage material. She’s the girl he bides his time with.
Men admire it when you have your own opinions about things. Rest stops don’t have opinions. A guy says, “I’m really psyched about the big race next weekend. I think Kyle Bush will take it home!” The rest stop says “Yeah. Me too”. The confident woman, or keeper, says, “I don’t know, I think Jimmie Johnson can whip him any day!”
Now, you’re off to the races. Even if you don’t give a hoot about NASCAR, you just offered up some friendly banter. Of course, you’ll need to back your opinion but a confident woman has already done this.
Become More Confident Around Guys You Like
Confident Woman Trait #4: You Have Boundaries
If you want to learn how to be more confident around guys you like, then you learn to set boundaries. Women often think they shouldn’t stand up for their boundaries, especially in a new relationship. You don’t want to scare the guy off with rules. The truth is there are many reasons Why Rules and Boundaries Matter In Romantic Relationships.
To appear more confident around guys you like, set and maintain your boundaries. This doesn’t just apply to sex, although that is a big boundary!
If a man is late all the time, doesn’t call when he should, or attempts to sleep with you – there will be consequences. You cannot waver on this. If you do, any respect he had for you will be gone.
Many men will test these boundaries and they will receive no resistance. The next morning, it’s, “Bye! Bye!” You, as a confident woman will show this man the door.
Confident Woman Trait #5: You Are Financially Secure
Money is a big deal to men. It’s how we prove we can provide for our family. To be more confident around men, you need to be financially secure yourself.
This doesn’t mean you need to be rich. It just means you need to be able to pay for your own half of the date or treat a man to a cup of coffee.
Women give me a lot of pushback on this one but it’s true. Ultimately, yes, a man wants to take care of his family and you may be his family some day but for now, he doesn’t want to date a gold-digger.
When you’re out on a date, especially a first or second date, offer to pay your share. If he pays, offer to pick up the next one.
Confident Woman Trait #6: You Rarely Get Jealous
A confident woman doesn’t compare herself to other women. Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem, immaturity and insecurity.
With confidence, you know that your uniqueness and inner beauty are enough for any worthy man. You know your strengths and you know how to use them to your advantage.
You wouldn’t be caught out on a date with a man who checks out other women constantly anyway – well, you wouldn’t date him more than once. A guy who does this all the time needs to be shown the door! He is not worthy of you!
Being a confident woman means having self-worth and knowing your value. You have unique gifts and abilities which a great man will be eager to explore! Hitting him with Jealousy Will Destroy Your Relationship.
Confident Woman Trait #7: You Allow A Man To Take Control
As a confident woman, you recognize a man’s desire to provide for you by paying at times, opening the car door for you and helping out in general.
You know allowing a man to feel in control pays off in dividends later in the relationship. Your ego can be set aside in lieu of a man’s.
I understand you’re a strong, confident woman who may be in control at work. Many of the women who email me fit this mold to a “T”. What you need to understand is that if you take control in the relationship too, your guy will feel emasculated. Ultimately, he will leave.
Instead, let him plan some dates or choose what you do on a Friday night sometimes. Allow him to choose which shirt he wears when you go out.
Confident Woman Trait #8: You Have Options
Women often go on a first date with a guy and they’re all in. A confident woman takes a step back, waiting to see if he is worthy of her first!
When you are confident around a man you like, you’re busy and interesting. You don’t fall for the first breathing mammal you meet. You date a couple of men at a time until one surfaces as the winner!
For women who have just started dating after a lengthy relationship, this is an easy trap to fall into! You’re accustomed to having a man in your life and you want to fill that void.
I encourage you to date many men before you settle on one. Date a type of guy you never thought you’d be interested in. Check out what your options are before you settle.
Wrapping Up How To Be More Confident Around Guys You Like
These eight confident woman traits are all great ways to draw in the guy you like. Don’t be concerned if you feel like you don’t have them all! Not many women do!
Many of the women I talk to daily tell me they are very confident at work but feel very low confidence when it comes to their dating life. You are not alone!
One great thing you can do is become Comfortable In Your Own Shoes!
Once you can hit all eight of these, Mr. Right, or possibly multiple Mr. Right’s will be knocking down your door. Good men are drawn to confident women. They can sniff out low confidence as well as they can sniff out pizza and beer.
To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man, and this means how they view confident women!
The post How to be More Confident Around Guys You Like: 8 Confident Woman Traits appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
April 23, 2018
Will No Contact Make Him Move On?
Gregg here at WhoHoldsTheCardsNow.com and today I’m talking about getting your ex boyfriend or husband back and will no contact make him move on or reconsider.
In my best seller How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, I have your answer. It’s a combination of both. If you go totally no contact, he could go out of sight out of mind on you. I have a better tactic. I call it slip in slip out. After writing my special letter which I template inside my book, you contact him about getting your stuff back, for example, or asking where you stayed when you went to Aruba 2 years earlier when you were together.
This is brilliant. You are now telling him that you are ready to move on too and it’s not just him. He can’t believe you want your stuff back so soon and wonders who you’re going to Aruba with. You see, he thinks because he dumped you that you should be grieving and still at his beck and call. You’re not. At least you are not letting him know.
Guys don’t like to lose their stuff and you are part his stuff. When you send my special goodbye letter and then slip in slip out with statements confirming that it’s over, you turn the break up on its head and confuse your ex. This is a good thing. We are toying with the male psyche and giving you your best odds of stirring his emotion and getting him to capitulate.
You are doing the exact opposite of what you want to do and what he thinks you will do.
Couple more points. You do this with confidence. Stay upbeat with your messages and don’t act at all angry. Be happy! If you can’t, then you delay until can. Again, the steps are inside the book to get you to a stage where you can pull this off.
Now, communication is left open for him so he can reconsider and, because you sent the powerful letter with the one powerful memory, he’s thinking about you.
So you see, I am giving you the best of both worlds. Contact but the right kind of contact.
The book is called How to Get Your Ex Back Fast. It’s only for women and it’s got 270+, 4 ½ star average, Amazon reviews so you know it works. Click the link and get it before it’s too late!
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April 12, 2018
Is He Right For Me?
Gregg, I have a great 2 ½ year relationship going but I am worried, and I am hoping you can guide me and help me decide if he is right for me. I am 33 years old and he the same. My guy is awesome in many ways – he treats me well, he showers me with love and he has the same family goals and timing as I do. The sex is great and my family loves him too.
So what’s wrong, you ask?
I just don’t feel that he is my soulmate. We don’t “click” quite as well as I think we should. I have dated crappy men that were more compatible with me it seems. Our highs were higher, if you will, then they are with my current guy. Of course, our lows were terrible.
Am I making any sense? Is he right for me? Am I just getting cold feet? Is there a way that I can get him to work on this and “get me” more?
Your avid follower,
Ming
Hi Ming, thanks for your question. It’s a dandy!
As a dating coach who concentrates on women and their dealings with men, I have come to learn one thing: A woman needs to trust her intuition!
If you are asking me this question, then something is wrong. Granted you told me very little in those 150 words but they screamed that this is the wrong guy to spend the rest of your life with. He’s the wrong guy because if you are feeling this way now, then you won’t be spending the rest of your life with him.
Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I must be honest. Compatibility is super important. Chemistry arrives on day one, and a woman should know that her guy is the right man to spend the rest of her life with soon thereafter.
I find many women just don’t want to let a guy go because they feel their man is such a great catch and they might not be able to find a better man. They don’t want some other woman to have him.
That’s not good enough.
That leads to a divorce and misery in, say, three years. Chemistry comes naturally and can’t be “fixed.” Sure, he could grow on you, but don’t you think he should have by now?
I would prefer that the sex be just fair – that is something that can be improved upon, compatibility less so.
Dig deep Ming. Really think things through and ask yourself, “Is he right for me?” before you walk down the aisle. There is no rush. I would highly recommend that you take some time out from this relationship and seek clarity from the outside looking in. If you do, I bet your situation will become clearer.
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