Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 25

The Do's and Don'ts of Dating in the Workplace

To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy

Hi - Tiffany here. OK, maybe I watch too many movies, but there is something exciting about an office romance. Maybe he’s the gorgeous new guy who makes your heart race and distracts you from your deadline, or the sweet, adorable man with whom you work closely day in and day out. Regardless of where you find him, eventually, the sparks fly and you can’t deny the attraction any longer.

Since most of our time is spent at the office, it’s not surprising that dating a colleague happens pretty often. In fact, according to a recent survey of 8,000 employees, conducted by the job-search website CareerBuilder.com, four out of 10 people have dated someone they work with. Add to that the Payscale office romance report that shows one out of five people who gave inter-office relationships a shot ended up marrying their coworker, and you may be tempted to try it yourself! However, there are some smart rules to follow before you dive in.

Do Follow The Company Policy On Dating

Every company is different and you need to be sure you aren’t violating any corporate regulations that could jeopardize your job and negatively impact your professional career. Many organizations have no-fraternization policies, so you need to decide if dating the guy is worth the risk of getting fired, if that is the case. If dating is allowed, do be open and honest, and be sure to notify your boss first before everyone else finds out. You don’t need to go into the details of your love life, but you and your coworker need to professionally acknowledge that you are dating so your supervisor is not caught off guard.

Do Set Rules From The Start

Before you and your colleague head down this path, it’s a good idea to have a discussion about what is appropriate and what is not. Even if you are open about the relationship, posting pictures and sharing TMI (too much information) on social media is a big no-no. The same should go for physical displays of affection in front of your coworkers (hot and heavy kissing and the innocent stuff like hugging and holding hands). Skip the cutesy terms of endearment. Keep it professional at the office, and work–related social gatherings — this even includes happy hour with your coworkers, no matter how difficult that may be!

Don’t Date The Boss

This is a BIG one. Dating someone higher on the office ladder than you can only lead to trouble, especially if he is the person you report to. If you seriously can’t resist each other, request to report to someone else or find another job. You need to be careful in this kind if situation, to avoid heated arguments and hard feelings within the relationship, or accusations of favoritism from coworkers who feel threatened by your relationship. It’s easy to become the target of office gossip when the boss is your main squeeze, and sadly you may be accused of using sex to get ahead, even though it’s just not true.

Don’t Bring Work Home

It’s hard not to talk shop when the day is done, but working together is not the only aspect of your relationship. Keeping the focus on work is a sure-fire way to fizzle out fast. You have to keep it professional at the office, but your private, personal time is a whole different story. On a separate note, spending all day and all night together can be too much of a good thing. It’s easy to get caught up in a new relationship, but don’t neglect the other aspects of your life, especially when dating a coworker. Carving out time for yourself, having lunch with a friend, or planning a girl’s night out is actually good for your relationship. Just don’t spend the entire time talking about your great new guy!

Some Final Thoughts

Although you may find the love of your life in the cubicle next to you, not all office romances end happily. If the relationship doesn’t work out, you still have to see that person every day — and work with him. Even if he was a total jerk, take the high road and don’t vent to coworkers about your negative feelings. Don’t fume or mope around, and don’t let your personal issues get in the way of your professional working relationship. You are both adults, so hopefully he will have the same respect for you. And if you follow Gregg’s advice, you will attract a quality man in no time — in or out of the office.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating in the Workplace

Hi — Tiffany here. OK, maybe I watch too many movies, but there is something exciting about an office romance. Maybe he’s the gorgeous new guy who makes your heart race and distracts you from your deadline, or the sweet, adorable man with whom you work closely day in and day out. Regardless of where you find him, eventually, the sparks fly and you can’t deny the attraction any longer.

Since most of our time is spent at the office, it’s not surprising that dating a colleague happens pretty often. In fact, according to a recent survey of 8,000 employees, conducted by the job-search website CareerBuilder.com, four out of 10 people have dated someone they work with. Add to that the Payscale office romance report that shows one out of five people who gave inter-office relationships a shot ended up marrying their coworker, and you may be tempted to try it yourself! However, there are some smart rules to follow before you dive in.

Do Follow The Company Policy On Dating

Every company is different and you need to be sure you aren’t violating any corporate regulations that could jeopardize your job and negatively impact your professional career. Many organizations have no-fraternization policies, so you need to decide if dating the guy is worth the risk of getting fired, if that is the case. If dating is allowed, do be open and honest, and be sure to notify your boss first before everyone else finds out. You don’t need to go into the details of your love life, but you and your coworker need to professionally acknowledge that you are dating so your supervisor is not caught off guard.

Do Set Rules From The Start

Before you and your colleague head down this path, it’s a good idea to have a discussion about what is appropriate and what is not. Even if you are open about the relationship, posting pictures and sharing TMI (too much information) on social media is a big no-no. The same should go for physical displays of affection in front of your coworkers (hot and heavy kissing and the innocent stuff like hugging and holding hands). Skip the cutesy terms of endearment. Keep it professional at the office, and work–related social gatherings — this even includes happy hour with your coworkers, no matter how difficult that may be!

Don’t Date The Boss

This is a BIG one. Dating someone higher on the office ladder than you can only lead to trouble, especially if he is the person you report to. If you seriously can’t resist each other, request to report to someone else or find another job. You need to be careful in this kind if situation, to avoid heated arguments and hard feelings within the relationship, or accusations of favoritism from coworkers who feel threatened by your relationship. It’s easy to become the target of office gossip when the boss is your main squeeze, and sadly you may be accused of using sex to get ahead, even though it’s just not true.

Don’t Bring Work Home

It’s hard not to talk shop when the day is done, but working together is not the only aspect of your relationship. Keeping the focus on work is a sure-fire way to fizzle out fast. You have to keep it professional at the office, but your private, personal time is a whole different story. On a separate note, spending all day and all night together can be too much of a good thing. It’s easy to get caught up in a new relationship, but don’t neglect the other aspects of your life, especially when dating a coworker. Carving out time for yourself, having lunch with a friend, or planning a girl’s night out is actually good for your relationship. Just don’t spend the entire time talking about your great new guy!

Some Final Thoughts

Although you may find the love of your life in the cubicle next to you, not all office romances end happily. If the relationship doesn’t work out, you still have to see that person every day — and work with him. Even if he was a total jerk, take the high road and don’t vent to coworkers about your negative feelings. Don’t fume or mope around, and don’t let your personal issues get in the way of your professional working relationship. You are both adults, so hopefully he will have the same respect for you. And if you follow Gregg’s advice, you will attract a quality man in no time — in or out of the office.

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Help Me Gregg! My Guy is Pulling Back!

If there is one question I get asked the most it is some version of this one:

“Gregg, I have been dating this guy for 5 weeks, everything was going great, we were hot and heavy and Mark was telling me how much he liked me and we were even planning our future. Then he started to back off. His texts slowed down and his phone calls stopped all together. He says he has been really busy lately with his Job and family. I got sarcastic with him Monday and now I haven’t heard from him for 2 days. What do I do coach?  – Jenn

The first thing we need to do is understand what is happening here. Then, we will know what to do. Call it our DNA in action, genetics, or the tools God gave us – I don’t care, but it’s inside all men.

Guys pursue women like it’s a sport. This is our offensive mode. Everything is there for us. The challenge of trying to win you over, the competition from other men, and even our testosterone cheering us on.  Of course, you have a lot to do with this too. You are showing us all the right signs that you are worth the pursuit with your looks, your style and your confidence.

All is good for a few weeks or maybe a few months. Then, something happens after a fairly short amount of time.

We freak out!

This is what is happening to Jenn, Mark is freaking out. The reason Mark is freaking out is because men also have a defensive mode inside them. It’s like a switch that goes off in our heads when we start see what is looming before us.

Our defensive mode says:

She is going to take all my money
She is going to take away all my friends
I will never be able to have sex with another woman again

Sounds pitiful huh? The funny thing is that we want to provide and spend money on you. We want you to take us away from our friends and we want to only have sex with one awesome girl – you. But we’re stupid and we need you show us the way. If you don’t, we will return to our caveman roots.

She is going to take all my money

In my best seller, To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man, you learned about the importance of money and status in a man’s life. This is our life’s blood. Take away these things and we lose our ability to provide.

How to counter this.

Pitch in on dates. Offer to buy drinks here and there and show us your willingness to contribute. This is why your financials are so important, as I tell you in To Date a Man, You Must Understand Yourself.

Even if the guy you are dating is rich, it doesn’t matter! Pitch in. This neutralizes our (granted silly) illusion of losing all our money.

She is going to take away all of my friends

Another huge fear of ours. We see it all the time with our married buddies. They can’t go out anymore, no more trips, no more playing poker on Tuesdays and no more fun…all because of that woman!

How to counter this

You have trust in your relationship, right? Then let him do things with his friends! Let him golf on Sunday mornings and go drinking with his buddies now and then. If you do, he will actually want to be with you more. Go out with your own friends and even do a weekend trip every now and then away from each other. This is exciting because you are allowed to miss your significant other.

I will never be able to have sex with another woman again

This is the controversial one! You’re wondering how I’m going to deal with this one, right? Again, I don’t make excuses for how we are, and I admit that I’m not always proud of how we are wired, but these are the facts. God built us to procreate with as many women as we can! Ouch.

How to counter this

Your goal is show us that we don’t need any other woman in our lives but you. This is done by providing us the competition and the mystery that we thrive on. Trick us into thinking that we are “still pursuing you” by staying one step ahead of us, not making us your hobby and joining your social network outside of ours on a regular basis. Add craziness in the bedroom and you have neutralized instinct #3! Remember, we are simple creatures, it does not take much more than this to keep us at your side forever.

I also don’t care if it’s been 5 weeks or 10 years with your man – have these tactics in your toolbox ready to go when, and if, you need them. I say this because the old “midlife crisis” is the next example of our defenses kicking in so get ready for that too, and counter it with my advice above.

In Conclusion

Don’t take our money. Make us want to give you our money. We will if you show us that it’s not that important to you when you contribute.
Don’t rob us of our friends. Instead, make us want to be with you and not them. Ironically, This is accomplished by letting us be with them! At the same time, spend time with your friends.
Make us only want to be with you and no other woman. Provide us the competition and the mystery that we thrive on from time to time. Keep things exciting under the sheets!

Read To Date a Man You Must Understand a Man Now!


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5 Dating Advantages of Being an Introvert

Hi — Tiffany here. Do you consider yourself an introvert? If so, you know we introverts aren’t necessarily shy. Many of us have our moments, where we do just fine mingling at a party or other large social setting. But once we get back home, we can finally relax and regroup on our own (insert sigh of relief here). We can deal with crowds and noisy venues if we must, but we prefer quieter, solitary activities and more intimate relationships. We like deep conversations (small talk drives us nuts). We’re analytical. We’re great listeners. We’re also mysterious and passionate about life. Virtue and trust rank high on our list of qualities we look for in a man. And we are selective when it comes to friends (and boyfriends). We don’t share our lives with just anyone.

But in a dating world filled with extroverts saying, “Look at me!” how can we possibly stand out? We have a lot of fine qualities, but still — we are certainly less outspoken, definitely more reserved. You would think being an introvert would be a disadvantage when it comes to dating — but it’s not! Guys love introverted women for so many reasons! According to best-selling author and dating coach Gregg Michaelsen, “Introverts are not wed to a life of being single.” Yes, we introverts can stand on our own. But we don’t have to!

It’s time to use our unique traits to our advantage in the dating world. We can compete with extroverts without sacrificing or changing who we are! In Be Quiet and Date Me: Dating for Introverts in a World That Never Stops Talking, Gregg gives us the tools to navigate the dating world as an introvert, and gives the confidence we need to truly feel like a woman of value. Here are five dating advantages to being an introvert.

#1 Introverts have the ability to build strong interpersonal relationships

We have a greater need for intimacy, and we develop strong bonds within our small circle. We care about the people in our lives and take the time to learn about who they really are as a person. Extroverts probably have lots more friends than we do, but likely not as many close friends. Our ability to build strong interpersonal relationships with our friends can be a real asset when it comes to finding a soul mate to live happily ever after with.

#2 Introverts really listen

Extroverts talk loudly over people to get their point across, and quickly move from subject to subject. We are careful listeners and deep thinkers — attractive qualities to the opposite sex. We process the information we hear, and wait our turn. We never interrupt a conversation. But when we do talk, people WANT to listen in the same way we do, because they know what we say will be worthwhile. We may not always be the life of the party, but we are masters at real conversation. Gregg is right, being an introvert is a true gift!

#3 Introverts truly care

We introverts are great at remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. We care about others more than we care about ourselves. Being thoughtful is a great trait to have, and keeps us out of trouble. How many times have you gotten upset with a guy for being selfish and forgetful? Introverts are also quick to sense feelings. We know when someone is upset and we care enough do something about it. We are also adept at thinking outside the box — our unorthodox creativity helps us navigate through the tough times in a relationship.

#4 Introverts act carefully

Introverts think situations through before we act or speak…. always. Instead of going on a gut instinct and or saying something impulsive that we regret later, we make decisions slowly and more carefully and take the time to formulate our words. And when we do mess up, we can admit we are wrong! Now that’s the key to a successful relationship!

#5 Introverts prefer quality over quantity

We may not be the most popular girl at the party, but we are truly loved within our small, close-knit circle of friends. Because of our caring nature and good attributes, we are well suited to focus on one guy, and really take the time and effort to build a quality relationship that will stand the test of time. And that’s what matters most on the path to love!

Kind of makes you wonder if we would all be better off being more introverted? Just another deep thought for us to ponder….

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Raise Your Standards! How Much Emotional Baggage Is Too Much?

Hi — Tiffany here. We’ve all been there. We meet a guy we are super attracted to, but he comes with a LOT of baggage. We all have our fair share, but his seems to be almost too much to handle. You wonder, does your relationship have a fighting chance or will it be smothered under the weight of his issues? Should you stick it out in hopes that things will get better in time, or is it a lost cause? How can you know? But just the fact that you are questioning it should be a red flag. How much emotional baggage is too much?

If you follow the advice of best-selling author and dating coach Gregg Michaelsen, you know you are a woman of value who can have her pick of men. You know what you want in a man, and how you want to be treated. If you have high standards (as you should!), you can save yourself from the pain and heartache guaranteed to come from a man with too much baggage.

In To Date a Man, You Must Understand A Man, Gregg gives us a great list of unnecessary baggage to watch out for. Keep this list ready whenever you meet a new man, and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy. After all, you are THE CHOOSER!

Is he just out of a major relationship? Does he constantly bring up his ex and make comparisons? Do you feel like you can’t live up to his memory of a past girlfriend, or does he angrily accuse you of acting just like her? Time to cut your loses and run.


Is he being harassed by his ex or other women? Does she text him in the middle of the night, vandalize his car, or make threats directed at either of you? This kind of baggage can only lead to disaster.


Does he have a bunch of kids under the age of 10? Young kids are a huge responsibility, and they are a tie that binds him to his ex…. Forever. And why didn’t it work out with the mom (or moms) anyway? Probably best to steer clear of this kind of situation, unless you are ready to be an instant step-mom.


Does he show clear signs of having addictions? If so, it’s wise to remove yourself from the relationship.


Is he about to move to another city, town or country? Entering a long-distance relationship is hard enough on established couples, let alone a new relationship. Think of it logically. How can love grow when you hardly ever see each other? Are you really going to travel back and forth? Sticking with this guy may even prevent you from meeting someone awesome who can be present in your life.


Is he a total mommy’s boy? Does her opinion and advice matter more to him than yours? Does he choose her over you? Is he not able to stand up to his mom when he should? Is he overly affectionate with his mom? Does he tell her everything? Speaking from experience, if you are dating a mommy’s boy, stop…. unless you don’t mind his mom being a third person in your relationship, because she always will be.


Does he want to borrow money from you right out of the gate? Big red flag! Just say no to the relationship…. and the loan of course.


Does he have a felony record and/or criminal convictions? It’s always a good idea to do a background check before dating a guy.


Do your friends and family hate him? These people love you and have your back. They would not steer you wrong. When you are into a guy you may only see the good, so maybe they see something you can’t.


Does his own family hate him? These are the people who are supposed to love him unconditionally. Big red flag all the way around.


Does your dog hate him? If your dog loves everyone but hates your man, you should think twice! Dogs are smart. What is Fido sensing that you’re not?


Does he hate or mistreat animals? If his treatment of animals alarms you, or he lacks compassion for others, you may want to think twice.


Does he have anger issues? Does he threaten you or anyone else? If you are afraid of his temper, it’s not likely a healthy or safe situation to be in.


Does he have a personal hygiene problem? We all want to impress in the beginning, so things will only get worse as he gets more comfortable. If a guy doesn’t care enough now, you probably shouldn’t keep him around for later.


Is he conceited and selfish? Remember, a quality man will put you first.


Does he have no friends? There must be a reason why. Is he too focused on work? Does he lack confidence? Is there something off-putting about his personality or sense of humor?


Is he always on porn sites? Many men have replaced real sex and intimacy with porn. If it’s an issue, walk away.

Relationships are filled with compromise. We compromise on what to have for dinner, what movie to see this weekend, and whether or not we follow the same politics. But these are basic compromises that help us grow in a relationship — they do NOT leave us feeling drained and overwhelmed. Gregg would say if his baggage is getting in the way, it’s time to raise your standards and “dump his ass!”

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Developing a Workout Habit

Swimsuit season is just around the corner if you’re like me and live in what was recently the frozen tundra. It’s Kirbie today and I thought we should have a little chat about getting into a good workout habit. Working out is not only good for your body and improving how you look on the outside, but it has benefits to your mind as well.

Set a time of day

I have found that the best workout routine I ever had was just that – a routine. Not in the sense of doing 50 sit-ups followed by 30 jumping jacks, but routine meaning every day when I came home from work, I got into my workout clothes straight out of my work clothes and headed off to the gym. It became part of my day. I was even able to tweak my work schedule a bit so that I got home a little earlier, allowing me to grab a shower and still get dinner going at a reasonable hour.

Get a buddy

Working out, especially in the beginning, is hard work, and it’s easy to say “I’m going to skip it today, I’m tired.” If, however, you ask a friend to start working out with you, they’re more likely to cheer you on, and you’re more likely to keep working out to help them stay encouraged. It also gives you someone to talk to while you’re working out and someone to share your aches and pains.

Tell someone

Have someone you trust to hold you accountable for your workout. This person should be someone who will hold your feet to the fire and ask you periodically how you’re doing. This can be really beneficial when you start to hit a wall. Make sure to tell this person that you expect them to be a little hard you when you need it. That’s what friends are for!

Start slow

If you haven’t worked out in a while, or, well – ever, be sure to start slow. Your first few workouts may only be 10 minutes long, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’re doing something, and something is always better than nothing. It may be that you can only walk to the mailbox and back – that’s okay. Be sure to increment up slowly. Every few days, add a minute or two. Once you hit maybe 20 minutes, increase the intensity of your workout, instead of the time. Either add some incline to your treadmill or some sort of pressure to the machine you’re using. After you increase that for a while, go back to adding time.

Get a checkup

This should be the first tip, but that’s okay. Make sure to get clearance from your MD before you begin a new workout, especially if you have health issues or have had joint issues in the past. They will give you some ideas of where you should start and may be able to provide you with some dietary advice as well.

Let yourself off of the hook

You should always be driving to do the best workout you can, but some days, it’s just not happening. You may get 15 or 20 minutes in and just be wiped out. Wind down and wrap it up. It’s not worth forcing it. Your body may be trying to tell you something and it pays to listen. Tomorrow is another day and you will be back at it.

Drink lots of water

Take water with you to the gym. If you’re doing an outdoor workout and it’s hot, freeze a water bottle ahead of time and take that with you. It will melt as you go along and it will stay cold. Trust me, by the time you’re done, it’ll be empty! The important thing is to stay hydrated, otherwise you’ll run out of gas before you’re done. You should also be well hydrated before you go to the gym, and you should drink more when you get home.

Set some goals

Spend your first few days trying out different routines or machines, then go home and set some goals. If you have decided that the elliptical is your machine, make a plan for increasing your time and effort. Set a goal for getting from 10 minutes to 20, then from 20 to 30. How many days will it take you? Be reasonable but not too easy on yourself. Don’t forget to account for increasing intensity – build that in as well. This isn’t about setting weight loss goals, it’s about setting goals on the machine. The bonus is that you’ll lose weight and shed some of the flabby stuff we all hate.

Change things up from time to time

Even if you prefer the elliptical, you might think about using a different machine every now and then. Maybe once a week, use the bike instead. Another great workout option is to do a machine every other day and fill in with weight lifting on the off days. This is actually great for your bone structure and helps to prevent osteoarthritis. If you find that you plateau with your weight loss, this can be a great way to shake things up.

Get good shoes and take care of them

You don’t need to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but you will definitely thank yourself if you get a good pair of shoes. Ask someone at the shoe store for help if you’re not sure what to get. There are now shoes for any activity you want to do, so choose wisely. Try them on, walk around in them for a few minutes and make sure they will feel good on you while you’re working out. Once you have those shoes, take good care of them, and replace about every 3 months. Never wash sneakers. Spot clean them, take out the insoles and wash them, and wash the laces separately – all can be done in your kitchen sink.

Final thoughts

I find getting into a workout routine to be very difficult. It takes a massive amount of will power to stick with it, but if you can manage to force yourself for a week or two, you’ll become ‘addicted’ to the endorphins that are produced and you’ll find yourself wanting to work out! I promise!! I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. Try it for a few weeks and you will see!

For more great tips for single women, read The Social Tigress

Buy The Social Tigress Here!


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Get Over Him! 6 Sure Fire Post Break Up Tools

This is for all you women who know the last guy was wrong for you and it’s time to get over him! You want to move on because getting him back is not an option – he can’t be fixed. I’m here to help you. Just place me on your right shoulder and let’s get to work!

Grieve but with a time limit

You need to grieve – I get that, but I’m only giving you a set number of days. Grab your calendar while you are eating your Ben and Jerrys and start to make some entries. Leave three to five days blank to cover the event, then start booking your new life. Make some new entries – entries that you have never made before. You are single now so go big or stay home alone!

Join Meetup.com, pick an event this weekend, hit the “I’m going” button, and GO!
With a dry erase marker write this on your mirror: “The grieving is over – it’s time to get happy”
Say this all day long, until it manifests into reality!
Join a new gym, not just to get into shape, but for the positive endorphins that are going to dance in your head. You might even make a new friend. Force yourself to go to a new

Cut him out of the will

Everything goes! Pictures, emails, texts, (block his phone number). Block him on Facebook and every other social media platform you have. You’re not sad, you’re mad!. Stop going to places where you will run into him. Keep in touch with a few of his friends to really get him!

Turn your sadness into anger

The grieving period is over, but you know how it works – the memory flash backs keep coming back and you are sad again. This is normal, but let’s turn these fond memories into the bad memories. Remember, the time… FILL IN HERE! The yelling, the lack of support, the terrible sex, the alcohol abuse, the drugs, the constant borrowing of money, and that mole hair on his back! That’s it, lay it on thick.

Practice displacement

You remember physics class? Fill up the glass with water, drop in the ice cubes, and watch the water flow over onto the floor. The best way to get over him is to fill your glass with new memories and with new people (men) as soon as you feel you are ready. In the short term, staying extremely busy will be your temporary displacement to help you through. Keep doing things even when you don’t want to. Wear yourself out so at the end of the day you just sleep.

Give yourself a serious girl’s day

If you can afford it, I’m talking a full blown spa day, complete with a massage! Follow with a major clothes shopping spree, and finish with a nice night out with your girls or your family. You deserve this for all the crap you put with for the last two and half years!

Re-discover yourself

Now is the time for my secret weapon. People grow when they are single! Kids, personalities, and careers stunt our growth. You are single now and you have more time for yourself without having to meet his needs. Rejoice and get to know yourself all over again. Get my best-selling confidence course, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes, create your new life vision and learn how to get it!

Do these six things, immediately, after the break up and you will feel much, much better.

What types of things have you tried to get over a breakup?
Order your copy of Comfortable in Your Own Shoes Now

Buy Comfortable in Your Own Shoes Here!


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5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

In To Date a Man, You Must Understand A Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy, Gregg says, “Cast a net off your boat and fill your bucket with men. Then throw back the losers and keep a few in your koi pond.” So how do you know if you should reel him in or cast him overboard? It’s Tiffany today to remind you that you are the CHOOSER! It’s all up to you to decide whether or not he’s a keeper. And it’s not that hard to figure out, once you have the right gear. I’m not talking fishing poles and actual nets, but solid tools and rules to follow on your journey to catch Mr. Right.

Write It Down

So, you’ve been on a few dates and you have him firmly in your net. Before you go any farther, stop and write down at least ten sentences that detail exactly how you want to be treated by a guy. Do you want a man who puts you first? Someone who makes you laugh? Someone respectful? Thoughtful? Romantic? Once you have a solid ten, narrow it down to a good three to five items that are non-negotiable. Now promise yourself you will not fall for the guy unless he proves — consistently, through his actions — that he is the quality man you are looking for. No exceptions. If he doesn’t realistically meet your standards, cast him overboard.

Take A Step Back

When we are really into someone, we tend to view everything with blinders on. It’s hard to assess the relationship clearly when we only see the good. But is he truly a decent guy? Or is he just hot, without any real substance? In Who Holds The Cards Now? 5 Lethal Steps to Win His Heart and Get Him to Commit, Gregg Michaelsen advises us to slow down and take a step back to discover his true worth. This is especially important before sex gets in the way, and clouds our minds even more. Remember, YOU hold the cards. Keep it in lock-down mode until you are sure he is a man of value.

Have Your Friends Meet Him

You may have blinders on, but your friends surely don’t! Good girlfriends have your back, and can help you see if he’s the real deal, or just a blowfish. Try not to get defensive when they give you their unbiased opinion. Listen to what they have to say and trust that they want what’s best for you. If the guy isn’t all that, they can help you give him the heave ho. Cast him overboard. But if they think he’s a real catch, reel him in!

Meet His Friends

This can be a real game changer. If he doesn’t want you to meet his buddies, there is something wrong. Cast him overboard. If he wants you to meet his buddies, and wants to show you off — great! Take this time to find out what they have to say about your man. Do they respect him? Is he a reliable, stand up guy? Or is he a girl chaser? Is he a slob? Also pay attention to how your man behaves in this situation. Is he attentive to you? Is he confident and relaxed? Does he put you first? Or is he always siding with the guys? Is he nervous? Insecure? Clingy? Is he crudely checking out other girls? Is he an obnoxious drunk? Does his personality change in a negative way when he’s with his crew? Remember, if his friends are immature, or if they are all players, chances are he is too. If you find that’s the case, get rid of him — fast!

Follow Your Intuition

Does he make excuses all the time? Does he fail to step up when you need him? Is he too busy to meet your family and friends? Is he controlling? Self-centered? Rude? These are all red flags! Whatever the behavior may be, if it gives you those uneasy vibes, it’s wrong! When in doubt, follow your intuition. We women are famous for it, so use it — and lose him. Cast him overboard!

On your way to “The One,” you are bound to catch a few bad fish. But remember, there are plenty of men in the sea, so keep casting your net and reel in the good ones! Who knows, you might just score the catch of a lifetime!

Hi, I’m Tiffany — the new girl! Gregg has summoned my powers to help his blog grow by leaps and bounds. Gregg, Kirbie and I will help bring you the complete gamut of ideas, solutions and issues we all face in the name of love.
If you’d like to learn more about catching a great guy, read The Social Tigress
Buy The Social Tigress Here!


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6 Tests to Prove He’s Single

 

Last week we had Is He Lying About Being Single? 6 Signs to Figure it Out, this week let’s put men’s feet to the fire and prove he’s single.

He doesn’t give you his cell number

Ask for it. If he hesitates, then challenge him on it. Keep it funny and witty. Say, “Come on Mr., I want to include your wife in our conversations!” Then, if he makes some lame excuse or goes MIA, give yourself a big pat on the back and do your happy dance! You just saved yourself a lot of heartache.

He is scheduling day time dates with you

Normally, I would like this from a guy. This proves he wants to get to know you instead of driving to the hoop on a Saturday night. But this could also mean that he is setting up a drive to the hoop when his girlfriend is out of town next week. Change the time. Move it to after work appetizers. Get the date out of the 9-5 work day and see if he agrees. If he constantly tries to pull it back into his timeframe be careful.

He never texts you after 7 pm

Last week, I mentioned he texts you all day but then he stops. Delay your response until nighttime. This shows him that you are busy and he is not your primary concern as covered in my #1 best seller, “Power Texting Men.”  It also raises a red flag if he doesn’t respond to your night time texts.

He makes excuses when asked about a weekend trip

Obviously, you have been dating for a while if you are considering a weekend trip. That said, I have talked to women who didn’t find out until 6 months later that this guy had a wife and kids! Mention a weekend trip. You don’t have to be serious, just throw it out there. Do this when you are in person so you can see his body language! If he quivers, stutters or changes the subject, then you need to keep testing him.

He gets interrupted when you are on a date

I love this one! If he walks away or he stays and his voice gets quieter, do this: Walk past him and say something fairly loud like, “I’ll be right back, babe, I’m hitting the ladies room.” Afterwards, when you come back and don’t see him, look under the table and you will see him sucking his thumb, crying because he just lost both you and his girlfriend!!

He goes MIA

You go MIA! When he contacts you 3 days later, with his lame ass excuses, you give him 4 days and hit him with you lame ass excuses! “Oh, hey I lost my phone too!” I just love screwing with men J

To Sum Up…

Some of these things could be harmless – I get that. Look at all these signs, if he is doing 2 or 3 of these things, then you need to start looking at the whole picture. Why not cover your bases? By reacting the way I recommend, you are doing yourself a favor either way. How? You are setting boundaries. You are challenging him, and, you are making it crystal clear that you are a catch and your time is valuable.

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Is He Lying About Being Single? 6 Signs to Figure it Out

 

Hello my wonderful readers! Gregg here, and we need to talk about an important subject. There is nothing more that irritates me more than when a guy pretends he is single, while really he is married or deep in a relationship. This is the first of two posts – first, to give you the signs, and second, to give you the tests to expose him!

He doesn’t give you his cell number

Men don’t worry about safety when it comes to women. We don’t need to too, for the most part, we are bigger and tougher than you guys. The only reason we don’t give it up is because we don’t want the other woman to find out.

He is scheduling day time dates with you

You may think he is just a good guy, right? And maybe he is, but guys rarely schedule daytime dates – for one reason – sex doesn’t happen during the day! I know, I’m being shallow and you don’t want to date a guy like this anyway, but guys think about sex all day long, even the good guys. It is in our DNA to schedule a date on Friday or Saturday night. Why? We have a better chance of having sex with you! That said, I want you to schedule daytime dates, just not him!

He never texts you after 7 pm

Ok, let’s say you got his cell number. Cool. But guys in relationships are scoundrels, many have multiple numbers. If you are getting texts during the day but they “dry up” when the sun goes down, guess what? He is with his wife or live in girlfriend.

He makes excuses when asked about a weekend trip

I know this sounds crazy but, as many of you know, I am a Dear Abner for women and I get about 30 emails every day. I have had several women that have been duped, through no fault of their own, by married guys! An overnight is almost impossible for a man who is in a relationship unless he travels all the time for work.

He gets interrupted when you are on a date

Yes, it could be his boss, but it could also be his girlfriend. If he gets up and walks away from you for privacy, this should raise some red flags. When I am on a date with a woman that I like, I am not taking calls that are not important. A wife or a girlfriend calling is very important.

He goes MIA

I saved the best (or worst) for last. You know the script, everything is going just dandy and SNAP – where did Mr. Beautiful Blue Eyes disappear too for three days? He will most likely have a great excuse that goes something like:

“I lost my phone and had to replace it”
“I was really busy with work”
“I had to help my sister move”
“I left you a message, didn’t you get it?”

I don’t know about you but when I lose my phone. My life is redirected to the Verizon store in the first five minutes. And even when I’m really busy, it takes all of 15 seconds to fire off a text while I rest on the couch. Didn’t get the message? Ah, no.

To sum up…

Gregg, aren’t you being too cynical? Shouldn’t you give guys the benefit of the doubt? After all, he is paying for dinners and he is has been nothing but a gentlemen. No! No! No! and NO! You are in the early screening process. Lose the rose colored glasses through which you are seeing his beautiful blue eyes and switch back to common sense. Test men that you are dating! If you don’t, you might get burned later. Remember, you are a high value woman and high value women have other options, set boundaries and make guys prove their worth through their actions.

Next week’s blog? 6 tests to prove that he is single!

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